Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

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+ Are you making sex-related New Year’s resolutions? Em and Lo have some suggestions, including trying something that makes you uncomfortable, being safe, sharing fantasies and learning a new skill:

“5. Try Something That Makes You Laugh

There’s a lot about kink that cracks us up — the gimps, the spanking skirts, the dungeon monitors, the leashes. But sometimes forcing yourself to get past your desire to laugh can lead to some pretty hot sex. And doing something “for a laugh” gives you permission to go for it — whether it’s having sex in a wig or roleplaying nurse and patient or wrestling each other naked. The worst thing that can happen is that you’re laughing too much to have an orgasm… which isn’t the worst way to spend an evening. And the best? Let’s just say you’ll never look at a hospital gown in the same way again.”

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+ Also related to New Years, some ways of kissing are better than others.

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+ Get 25% off the top 25 toys and up to 40% off clearance items at Babeland until January 9.

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+ At Writer’s Bloq, 19 writers answer the question, “What is your approach to writing about sex?” Tiphanie Yanique, author of How to Escape From a Leper Colony, says:

“Every now and then I’ll have my students write a sex scene in one of my creative writing classes. For the writer, crafting a sex scene might be an opportunity to face many of the elements of story writing that one might be struggling with; such as character, scene, dialogue, etc. So much of actual sex might be the same as everyone else’s actual sex, but when we’re having sex we know that each silly word, each steamy touch might mean something. Sex is something most adults humans have done or have thought about doing and so it’s a common, even banal, space from which to write. But to do it well one has to make it particular. “

Katherine Duckett, of Sexagesimal, says:

“Where sex writing goes wrong, I think, is in getting too abstract, too polite or cerebral. Sex is silly and sweaty, scary and fun. It’s mouths and hands and strange angles and gurns, and sounds you can’t transcribe in any language yet invented. I understand the urge to gloss over that “unnecessary” mess with a tasteful ellipsis or a wink and a nod, but my goal as a writer is to grapple with the ungainly and produce something close to actual human experience. And if I ever have the honor of winning the Bad Sex in Fiction Award, I will undoubtedly take it as a point of pride.”

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+ Jalopnik has a comprehensive guide to having sex in various types of cars:

“For many people, their car isn’t just a means of transport, it’s the only really personal space you have. Cars are unique that way, among all the non-dwelling things we own. It’s one of the only things we have that’s both an object and a location. Nothing else really comes close. Sure, you could, technically, spend time inside your washing machine or refrigerator, but we all know it’s not the same. And you sure as hell can’t get it on in the dryer.

Cars are important personal spaces, and I’m sure people have been fucking in them since they were still horse-drawn carriages. It’s our nature. Give people a small, intimate space with any cushioned surface inside and as soon as possible we’ll try to figure out how to get it on in there.”

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+ Carol Queen has advice for someone wondering whether she’s too big to reach her g-spot (short answer: she isn’t):

“While it’s possible but not definite that your size affects the way you and your partner fit together […] the fact that you haven’t had a G-spot orgasm is more complicated than that. First let me just say this: You don’t actually have a problem at all – MOST 21-year-old women of any size have never had a G-spot orgasm. The fact that you know about such orgasms and want to have one may make you impatient; I guess that could be construed as a problem, but mostly, I’d say you may be expecting G-spot responses where they are rather difficult to find.”

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+ The top 10 provocative books of 2012 include Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality, by Hanne Blank, Sex and Punishment: Four Thousand Years of Judging Desire, by Eric Berkowitz, and Secret Sex Lives: A Year on the Fringes of American Sexuality, by Suzy Spencer.

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