Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
via plus25c
+ J. Dear has advice for how to keep your queer sex life exciting:
“We both had toys before we got together so it wasn’t strange to incorporate them into our sex life. I had plenty of toys that I liked but when she used them on me it was completely different. After she helped me have my first g-spot orgasm and squirt for the first time I bought more g-spot toys so we could continue to explore that together. We’ve also added simple things like vibrating tongue rings to oral. Simple, cheap, and sexy!”
+ At the Hairpin, Lindsay Miller answers questions about having a crush on someone who may or may not be taken, how not to move in with someone and how to flirt for fun:
“Some people are just flirtatious – they flirt with potential partners, but they also flirt with friends, coworkers, baristas, and anyone who happens to cross their path. They flirt because they like attention, or as a way of procuring favors, or just because it’s fun. And they flirt because it’s often hard to tell where to draw the line between friendly, casual, humorous interaction and Prelude to Sexy Times. As someone who is at least an intermediate flirt – an inveterate user of pet names and innuendo, a physical-affection addict – I feel reasonably comfortable speaking for all of us: We flirt with everyone, gay or straight, lady or dude, hot or (well actually all of my friends are hot so I guess I seldom have occasion to flirt with non-hot people).”
+ Em and Lo has a few important things to know about how to spank, including not wearing rings, building up intensity, and where to aim:
“Only aim for the lower, fleshier halves of each cheek and the backs of the upper thighs — avoid the lower back, tailbone, and back of the knees. Remember, you’re going for good pain (e.g. an intense back massage), not bad pain (e.g. getting a finger slammed in a car door, or listening to Celine Dion).”
via suicide girls
+ The Atlantic writes about the ethics of extreme BDSM porn, which some people view as inherently degrading despite participants’ enthusiastic consent and others view as intensely pleasurable.
+ A new book, Flappers: Six Women of a Dangerous Generation, by Judith Mackrell, discusses actress Tallulah Bankhead’s relationships with her young female admirers and penchant for saying, “My father warned me about men and booze, but he never mentioned a word about women and cocaine.”
via more to love
+ There is a song about vibrators. There are also Vegas vibrator races.
+ Did you already see our five solo Crash Pad scenes for masturbation month? Maybe you should.
via gray 37
+ At the Guardian, Bella Qvist writes about using the word “partner” instead of “girlfriend” when she talks about her relationship:
“I don’t make any secret out of the fact that I’m in a relationship with a woman. Yet “partner” is the word I choose to use when I tread neutral ground with someone I don’t know; when I want to talk about my relationship without outing myself. Sometimes I just want to get on with business without rubbing private information in people’s faces and the fact is that no matter how often I do it, the act of coming out to someone never gets easier or less nerve-racking – so I say “partner”.”
via loneookami
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
Partner is obviously more discreet than girlfriend, but I have never heard someone say that and not immediately played word association to get to gay. Even when I know the person using that word is straight, my mind immediately leaps to “huh, maybe they are bi or are a super ally.” Last thought is usually, “oh, are they talking about work?”
I had the same thought. The word partner is either associated with a job (your work partner) or when applied to relationships I automatically assume they mean same sex partner. And I know this isn’t necessarily true, but I’m not the only one who thinks so. I have to wonder if she really thinks it’s more discreet that girlfriend. It just sounds like a more formal way of addressing the fact that someone is in a same sex relationship :-/
My experience living in the UK was that lots of people said ‘partner’ regardless of gender, so it is a bit more discrete there. But that may have just been the people I knew? It seemed like something you used when you lived together, like boyfriend/girlfriend was more casual, but wife/husband meant married (obviously).
Yeah I feel like if you use “partner” you’re not necessarily outing yourself as gay but you’re definitely outing yourself as some kind of hippie liberal weirdo (that is, to the kind of person who you’d have to worry about being gay around, I need hardly say).
I got an awesome vibrator with my birthday money (and passed up on telling my grandparents what I’d got with it). The one woman in the shop tried to persuade me it would give me either 3rd or 5th level orgasms. I don’t remember which and I suspect it was made up. She said it and another one were the strongest ones in the collection.
“Forgot” some stuff and had to go back, prompting some jokes from the staff but whatever. Then went to another shop in search of a hat. No luck.
I’ve pretty much been waiting for an opportunity to chatter about it. Sex shops excite me more than they should.
I thought it was great. My girlfriend thought it was too strong.
Tongue rings sound like they might be something I’d add to my list of potential things to go in my box
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The article on Ethics in response to What Do You Desire and all of its responses was fantastic. One of my best friends is involved in BDSM so I find it amusing that so many find Witt’s article to be too graphic and vile. I suppose I’m just healthily desensitized to consensual sex acts.
Fun fact:
Reeves Gabrels, guitaris of Tin Machine (“David Bowies band”) played his guitar with a vibrator on a few occasions.
But the BBC did not like that and banned the vibrator from Top of the Pops, so Gabrels used a chocolate éclaire.
this is one of the best things i’ve read all day.
I have a huge crush on Dylan and Vai now. They are so fucking hot together. Vai is so pretty I love how pink her cheeks get when she is fucking. Beautiful. And Dylan is so fucking cute. That dimple oh man. Cute cute cute. Crash pad woah.
*Dallas fuck distracted…
I had to scroll through the pictures before I actually read anything. This always happens with Lesbosexy Sunday. Not that I’m complaining…
Yep. I do the same exact thing. ;)
FYI, the Em and Lo link is a little broken (the Autostraddle address is stuck on the start of it). It’s easy to sort on a computer, but a little trickier on a mobile device (or mine, at least).
I haaaaaaate trying to figure out which word to use. My “partner” is really my wife now (or technically not, since we’re civilly partnered, not married), but sometimes it’s just easier to say “partner” and not stop the conversation dead in its tracks by saying “wife”. And I feel guilty every single time I do it >_>
Whatever, bro, in my world listening to pre-21st century Celine Dion is the good kind of pain.
Re: “partner,” I think people should use whatever words they want to, and I agree coming out continues to be stressful no matter how many times you do it so you should take care of your own mental health when doing it. But the “rubbing private information in people’s faces” justification is bullshit. It’s a capitulation to straight privilege. In a heternormative society, heterosexuality gets rubbed in everybody’s faces all the time, and people in hetero relationships don’t treat the sex or gender of their partner as private information.
If you want to call someone your partner in order to conceal or obfuscate their gender to the person you’re talking to, you are absolutely entitled to do so. But I think it’s important to remember that coming out isn’t TMI, and it’s not rubbing something in people’s faces. Coming out isn’t something mean that we do to other people. It’s information that they alone are responsible for processing. Queers aren’t duty-bound to protect and manage the feelings of possible or confirmed homophobes.
Wow! Best Lesbosexy sunday I’ve seen on here in a while. I really like the tender bedroom nature of these photos which for some reason I haven’t seen in other shoots. Maybe spring’s just finally getting to me. Looks like these are all going in my *ahem* special folder.
I’ve never known how to flirt. Any girl I’ve been involved with has always approached me. Now that I’m single I need some flirting tips so I can get some one night stands under my belt. no feelings. no strings.
I don’t even know where to start…