Feature image of Emperatrix and Nicki Honey in Crash Pad Series episode 260. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
“Published in 1972, Cooking for Orgies and Other Large Parties is primarily comprised of costed-out, multi-course dinners broken down using what its authors call the Integrated Recipe System and paired, a bit incongruously, with illustrations of astronauts with bare breasts and Dionysian dudes reclining with piles of fresh fruit,” writes Lizzy Saxe at Lit Hub:
“Margolis and Alani, writing with the bold sex-positivity of the 70s, never question whether you would want to host a sex party. Instead, they argue that sex and food are a combination as natural as lungs and oxygen: “Because of the tremendous influence our sensory powers have on our sexual and amatory desires, there is no question that a well-prepared meal of subtly seasoned foods will greatly add to a heightening of those desires.”
Yes you do need to clean your vibrator after every use:
“Sex is often portrayed as needing to be “spontaneous” and “in the moment” to be hot, so it’s easy to dismiss the idea of cleaning your toys following sex as overly rigid or fussy. But the real mood-ruiner is bloody urine and a trip to urgent care on day two of a weekend getaway—or, honestly, whenever.
“You do need to wash it every time, even if it’s just been used by yourself, because there are definitely places on the body where microorganisms can be naturally present,” said Kelly A. Reynolds, a public health educator and department chair of community, environment, and policy at the University of Arizona. “If they get transferred to other places, they can cause infections or problems.” Some of that bacteria can get on the toy and enter your urethra, causing a urinary tract infection, which requires antibiotics and can result in serious health problems, like permanent kidney damage or sepsis, if left alone. You could also end up with a fungal infection.”
Here’s how a clinic by and for sex workers came to be:
“In June of 1999, St. James Infirmary, named after Margo St. James, opened as something of a “pop-up clinic” within the San Francisco City Clinic, as Johanna Breyer, its then-director, described it. One night a week, after the City Clinic closed its doors, St. James Infirmary used the same office space to provide primary care, STI testing, peer counseling, case management, free food, acupuncture, and massage therapy to its clients, all free of charge. It was the first peer-run non-profit health clinic for sex workers in the United States. Two decades later, it remains the only peer-run non-profit health clinic for sex workers in the United States.”
If you’re trying to get free for Sagittarius season, here’s how to tell when it’s time to break up. five steps for ending a relationship.
Listen to sex workers on the policy reforms that would actually help them.
Birth control does not shrink your brain.
Here’s one take on the best sex toys of 2019.
Planned Parenthood is opening 50 sexual health centers in Los Angeles high schools.
Here’s how to have a sex dream
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Ask Polly addressed a woman who hasn’t had sex and feels like she never will:
“While your mind is doing the slow work of leisurely observation, dial into what your body is doing. Practice tuning in to the strange, quiet song of your heart, your bones, your blood. How do your cells dance in the presence of this human or that one? Your body is already a finely tuned instrument that can pick up readings from the next room. Trust it. Treat it with reverence and patience and respect. See what it tells you.
Neurotics treat themselves like a brain in a jar, then they wonder why they can’t feel anything in the company of others. You have to remember you have a body in the first place. You have to slow down and make room for what your nervous system already knows.”
I had a sex dream this morning! With an orgasm and everything! First time that’s happened to me in thirty-some years.
My body’s like, you gonna take care of this or nah
Amazing synchronicity, I’d love for that to happen more often!
yessssss
“Reclining with piles of fresh fruit” hey. Those frisky fruits have been at it for decades apparently.
Important debate (and food planning) question: how many people counts as an orgy?
Four or five depending! minimum ofc.. If it’s two couples you need at least a plus one to count as an orgy ( or it’s just a foursome even if you’re swapping). If it’s four ”independents” then it’s an orgy. So I’m told..
Love your sources !
With the right attitude, anything’s an orgy. But I agree that a number five or higher seems correct… there’s also something to the connotation of decadence that “orgy” has that makes me always think of at least eight people who mostly have the option to participate with most other people (assuming consent etc.) – like if eight people are having sex in the same room, but they’re all in one of two four-person closed relationships, I don’t know that that would be an orgy as much as just regular group sex or “a Wednesday” or whatever. I’m also wondering where the difference between “group sex” and “a sex party” and “an orgy is” because I’m obviously thinking way too much about this now.
Oh there’s a definite decadence to a ”Roman orgy” I agree.. and somehow it implies at least several bi people participating, to me..
http://talesoftimesforgotten.com/2019/02/25/why-the-idea-of-roman-orgies-is-a-complete-misconception/
The Roman orgy was not as much fun as we think it was :(
depends how into vomit you are
”at first they were confined to women” suits me!
Group sex: multiple couples having sex near each other.
Orgy: bunches of randos fucking.
Sex party: someone read the cook book and made appropriate food for all the randos fucking.
Textbook @snow.
Have you considered creating a sexual encyclopedia?
I will leave the creation of a collated ensexualpedia to my biographers, who will need to comb through all my comments and text messages to find my nuggets of wisdom
An aggregate fruit salad of sex humor and knowledge, if you will
The Encyclopedia Buttanica?
A Field Guide to Fucking Nonsense
All of this is pure gold!
Thank you for this insight, and I apologize if I passed my overthinking on to you!
idk, when I say ‘group sex’ I mean any time it was with more than one other person. threesomes, foursomes, orgies are all types of ‘group sex’.
I feel like we’re all just making this up as we go anyway, aren’t we?
We ARE but if we do it with enough feeling I think we could qualify for a federal grant to really get to the bottom of defining group sex. Imagine the expense reports!
Those aggregate fruits come in bunches
Finger food is indeed always an appropriate choice for entertaining.
Be sure to wash before eating! Or just in general. Wash your hands, people.
People at orgies also probably come in bunches…
Ah that cupcake !
Perfect presentation. And eco-friendly too, just lick the serving dish and reuse to your heart’s content. I can get behind that.
I think the correct definition for multiple scrumptious humans enjoying each other and delicious food is a gorgy.
You say tomato, I say libido
What did you do to my tomoato bush
I got it wet and then planted it
oooooooo
Did you take extra care with the little buds?..
They’re well tended to
Certainly look like they’ve been… polished
watered and planted, as stated
It’s ok, I’m out of sensible clothes
But where will you tuck your dinner napkin.. ?
Napkins go on the chest, tucked into the cleavage, wher they can capture any drips or dribbles!
oops forgot the serviette
I am out of sensible words
You seem to be out of clothes generally quite a lot
Except for fancy not-coats
oh we’ve got clothes, lots of clothes even! They just aren’t the practical kind.
Mostly we have clothes for FUN
Also this banana, which I guess ties in with the fruit theme earlier
Chandra ( and everyone!) If you have never seen Ursula Martinez ”hanky panky” I strongly suggest you youtube it, it answers THAT question!!
Amazing!! Now that’s a magic trick
That is not where I dribbled, have I done something wrong?..
If you did something wrong with your dribbling you may need to employ extra help in cleaning up
Preferably a French maid
‘Course, discipline must be enforced!
They’re practical for my current needs
if you’re trying to get free for sagittarius season, you have one week, read quickly
I really relate to the last story! About not having sex (I’m a lesbian and 28 years old). If anyone wants to have a conversatiabout it (like how to cope with it), please message me! đź’śđź’•
The article about not having sex left me with a bit of a sour aftertaste, as it were. Granted, question and advice have a context I can know nothing about – a straight woman, I understand, at a college Over the Ocean. However, ‘it all depends on you and your attitude’ can be fatally wrong in certain contexts. For me, the exact opposite was a life saver. As things stand I will never have the chance to even get to know my sexuality because all places and events where I could possibly initiate this are so toxic with transmisogyny that avoiding them is the only thing I can do. Thus, realizing that there is nothing wrong with me in any way whatsoever and Somewhere Else women might find me attractive was something that was extremely hard to attain – stigma, as good old Goffman knew exactly, also affects the self-image of the stigmatized significantly, it does far more than maintaining exclusions. If you are stigmatized is is crucial for you to understand this, and I think: especially regarding sex. Because otherwise knowing to what degree others can and do explore and enjoy this while you probably never will can destroy you. Sex can become a source of permanent torment. How to deal with this – I do not believe there can be a general recipe. But, you can learn to live with it, and even be happy occasionally. Me, I have come that far that I can even come to this column and grin about the banter, and this is a good sign, I believe.