Feature image of Jetta for Rodeoh.
All of the photographs on NSFW Lesbosexy Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
+ Degrading kinky sex can be feminist degrading kinky sex, duh:
“‘I know a lot of feminists may have a difficult time reconciling their love for rough sex with their knowledge that such sex (with the wrong intent) can be abusive,’ says sex toy and kink blogger Sugarcunt. ‘[Some may think] that by encouraging consensual rough sex we may send the wrong message to people who will distort our words and use them to justify nonconsensual sexual violence. [But] my rough sex coexists with my feminist politics because of my agency. It’s an act that I decided to be part of on my own.'”
+ Happier partners tend to do new things together, remember positive things they’ve done for each other and use insider language, among other things.
+ The Lioness is a new vibrator that tracks contractions, temperature and movement to help you learn about your own sexual response. According to the indiegogo campaign page, “Lioness uses embedded sensors to measure indicators of arousal and orgasm (vaginal contractions, temperature, and movement). As you experiment with Lioness, you can learn more about what you like, and discover new things about your own sexual health and pleasure—privately and on your own terms.”
+ A new book, Tactile Mind: A Book of Nude Photographs for the Blind/Vision Impaired, aims to depict nudes that can be appreciated through touch:
“It’s not known whether Lisa J. Murphy was inspired by the braille Playboy, but she came up with quite a different solution to the question of providing blind people with sexual gratification via printed matter. A resident of Canada, Murphy has produced a book called Tactile Mind: A Book of Nude Photographs for the Blind/Vision Impaired, which is ‘a handmade thermoform book consisting of 17, 3-D tactile photographs on white thermoform plastic pages with the visual image and descriptive Braille accompaniment.'”
+ Oh Joy Sex Toy reviewed the Fluke butt plug, calling it “huge” and also “like the future.”
+ The people behind Smut Peddler, porn comics anthologies made by women, have two new books up on Kickstarter right now. (They seem to mostly feature boy/boy pairings but 24% of you are into gay male erotica, so.)
+ People spend a lot of money on Valentine’s Day.
+ “Most of the lesbian women I work with have a higher level of emotional intelligence than the straight women,” and other compliments from a woman who specializes in queer matchmaking.
+ From the Autostraddle Lesbian Sex Archives: Do you think you’re bad at sex? You’re probably not:
“It’s not going to help you, your sex partners, or your sex life to try to imagine what other people might want or expect from you in bed. You can’t know what other people are thinking until you ask them. Sometimes you won’t know even then. Butch-presenting people can be bottoms. Femmes can be stone tops. Lots of people are switches, or all of these things, or none of them. The person sitting across from you on a date could want anything in bed, and (hopefully) they’re not assuming that you only like/are interested in certain activities because of how you look, either.”
‘How degrading sex can be feminist.’ Realy? In my opinion there is a difference between rough sex and degrading sex, the words seems to be used interchangable here, unrightfully so.
But degrading sex is as feminist as abuse, violence and other forms of misoginy. I think the ‘your abusive kink is feminist movement’ has gone far enough. And this has nothing to do with opposing rough sex but everything with mimicing abuse in the name of feminism.
Actually, I have degrading sex as a feminist all the time. It’s not abuse at all. The sex itself is not degrading because I’m having it; rather, I like to be tortured, humiliated, and put down by my partner during certain role-play and sexual scenarios. I fully consent to this–I’m the one who asks her to do this with me. I lay out how I want to be humiliated, key words or actions that I want her to use in a scene. If she were to humiliate me outside of a sexual setting, with no pretext or prior negotiation and consent, I’d take that as an immediate red flag, recognize it as abuse, and address it as a serious problem. But when we’re both scripting and negotiating my humiliation for sexual pleasure, we are giving consent, discussing boundaries, and creating a space where we can have a good fun time. And we’re switches: sometimes she wants me to sexually humiliate her, and we negotiate that and she sets her own limits and boundaries. It’s feminist because we negotiate consent, take the time to understand and respect each other’s needs, thoughts, feelings, and the societal implications behind what we’re doing.
If anything’s “unfeminist”, it’s judging other people’s consensual sexuality because you personally do not like it or understand it.
Thanks you !
“If anything’s ‘unfeminist,’ it’s judging other people’s consensual sexuality because you personally do not like it or understand it.” <----- THIS yes thank you.
Thank you!
Also, from my experiences, a lot of the people I’ve met who claim “kink is misogynistic” are often times looking at the issue from a very hetero-normative viewpoint. The people who take part in degrading kinky sex vary in gender, sexuality; the role in which they take can vary as well. To say that kink is misogyny seems to suggest that masculine-of-center subs or feminine doms don’t exists. Too often I’ve seen people take the cis-man-dom/cis-woman-sub example as proof of how BDSM=abuse of women, which doesn’t take into account situations where the roles are switched or involve queer people.
thank you kiah! “m”, leave your judgement at the door, please, YOU have clearly gone far enough. Peace
and thank you carolyn for this and the pieces on the fluke and emotional intelligence levels (cis hets watch out, the fluke future is now :-D
Wowowow. Next level pictures this week Carolyn, bless you, bless this post.
Lioness link isn’t working.
Thanks, fixed!
My oh my I wish I was engaging in all the kinky sex right now instead of being very much single.
Trying to embrace the small things though…like capers.
mmmm picture #3.
Damn, I’m really missing the Ham reference this week!
Remember despite our estrangement I’m your gallllll
Did you run out of applicable Hamilton references, Carolyn? I was hoping they’d be non-stop.
Wow, the Lioness looks so cool. I totally geeked out and read the whole Indiegogo campaign and watched all the videos. I look forward to reading the reviews when it comes out!
Hey! Just a quick edit that my name is Cora not Cara. Thanks so much for including me!
Sorry about that!!! It’s been fixed.