Feature image of Scout and Lew Pine in Crash Pad Series episode 227. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Golden Curlz in Crash Pad Series episode 209
Having a lot of bad pandemic dates? You might be thinking about thirst more than whether you feel a genuine connection:
“According to relationship experts, this is more the rule than the exception when it comes to dating in a pandemic: We’re all so thirsty, we’re seeing connections that might not actually be there.
‘With quarantine, people have more free time, less opportunity to be out doing things with friends, increased loneliness and higher levels of stress and anxiety, explains Jessica Small, therapist and life coach with Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. “‘The circumstances of dating are ripe for creating false intimacy in relationships.’
Rachel Federoff, a relationship expert and matchmaker for Love and Matchmaking, agrees. ‘It’s a bit like going to a grocery store on an empty stomach or ordering takeout when you’re starving: Your eyes are bigger than your stomach, and you want it all,’ she warns. ‘The desperation is taking over, whereas pre-COVID it would have been more thought-out and selective.'”
Adina and Saffron in Crash Pad Series episode 303
Non-monogamy during the pandemic is very much possible, but requires a lot more work to do safely and without being an asshole:
“When sexting, calling, and FaceTime are the best bet for being involved with secondary and tertiary partners—who also might be spending most of their time indoors with primary partners in close quarters—some new conversations and guidelines are probably warranted. […] Instead of letting things get awkward, get creative with your boundaries and rethink how you want to interact with people outside of your primary partnership. As many polyamorous people know, communication is key to success here even when public health isn’t on the line.
Right now, engaging with polyamory means adapting to our wack times and doing our best to have fun (and get off) consensually and respectfully despite the new limitations we’re facing.”
Kissy Burgundy and Cinnamon Maxxine in Covid Edition: Kissy Burgundy
This is a good explanation of “why sex workers are furious about Bella Thorne’s self-serving OnlyFans ‘tourism.’”
Does wearing a mask make lying easier?
Don’t miss Dani Janae’s “Anatomy of a Mango” finale.
Here’s how to have sex in a twin bed.
La Muxer Diosa and Zoie Blackheart in Crash Pad Series episode 281
Imposter syndrome in your relationships? It happens:
“Before trying to change anything, start to notice when you start having imposter-style thoughts, such as ‘I’m not good enough for my partner’ or ‘I’m not successful enough to support my partner.’ After you start to pick up on how often those thoughts come up, ask yourself how these thoughts are impacting you and your relationship, DeGeare suggests. Do your fears about being “not enough” cause you to seek validation excessively? Withdraw and become emotionally unavailable? Pick fights?
‘We often want to blame a relationship’s end on a really tangible thing,’ she explains. ‘But a lot of times someone is really emotionally unavailable because they haven’t done the work to realize what their blocks are to intimacy.’ And this kind of imposter syndrome is one of those blocks. Start by asking yourself, ‘Am I actually available to have a relationship or are my own insecurities going to get in the way and what I’m afraid could happen?'”
