Yesterday was not only May 1st. Poetically and coincidentally it was also the First Monday in May, and if you’re anything even remotely close to a fashion gay — you know that means.

Look, I wanted to write you a much longer introduction, one that not only gave a reminder of what is Met Gala (annual fundraiser for The Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum, hosted annual by Vogue and Ana Wintour) but also what why we are covering it (fashion is art, something that I do take seriously, but I’m here to pop my lil jokes off and go).

Unfortunately — just to be very personal here! — everything about my day has gone badly. I know that you’re here for the fashion, thirst, and a lil bit of my corny humor, not for my emotional processing. Have you ever just had one of those days where everything that could ever go wrong, has gone wrong? Did anyone else read Alexander and Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day as a kid?

But it’s fine. We all know what the Met Gala is, everyone has seen Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett play jewelry heist exes in Ocean’s Eight, we can cut right to it. You don’t need me to guide you.

Last night’s theme was “Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty” — Karl Lagerfeld was not a great person, who made comments making fun of sexual assault survivors, on top of being openly xenophobic, racist and fatphobic. There’s been a lot of smart pieces written about this uniformly awful theme choice. Lagerfeld’s influence in the history of fashion cannot be overstated, I get that. And the fashion industry itself is nothing if not always racist and fatphobic. But, even taking all of that into account, he was a pretty uniquely bad guy! There is no distancing the art he created from the terrible man that he was.  So if you’d like some analysis with your swooning over Janelle Monáe and Kristen Stewart, I have you covered, friend!

• Why the Met Gala’s Karl Lagerfeld Theme is Controversial by Sangeeta Singh-Kurtz for The Cut
• Why the Met Gala’s Karl Lagerfeld Theme Is Controversial (I swear it’s not a typo — I didn’t tell them to give all these pieces the exact same title) by Cady Lang for TIME
• Karl Lagerfeld and the Controversies That Color His Fashion by Ruth La Ferla for The New York Times

Before we get into the rest of the round up, traditionally when I cover the Met for Autostraddle, I don’t include cis gay men’s fashion because it’s covered extensively everywhere else on the web! And also — there’s only so many interesting takes about a plain black suit that girl can have. But this year men’s fashion ate downnnnnn!!! I wanted to shout out three of my faves:

Lil Nas X, in Dior Homme and Swarovski

I do not understand a single thing that is happening here beyond “Swarovski crystal” and I do not care because it is perfect.

Harvey Guillén

The pink? The twirl? C’mon now!!!

Jeremy Pope, in Balmain

Do I love Karl Lagerfeld The Man^TM? As previously established, no I do not. But do I love this cape? 🙈[Yes.]🙈

And while technically not homosexual activity, I have to give it up to Lizzo for what was, hands down, the best photo of the night:

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Alright!! Now that we have the pre-gayming festivities out of the way!

Let’s see what else I’ve rummaged up!

If you, like me, have also had a pretty fucked up day — first of all, I love you. I hope you drank some water and did some deep belly breaths. Second, let’s disassociate for a while with some truly stunning photography, jokey jokes, and a few fun fact tidbits!

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Janelle Monáe, in Thom Browne

An act in two parts.

They described this look as “black and white sex” and well, yes. It is that.

And the after party. I’ve lost brain cells over these photos.

I simply can no longer form words about this matter in a professional context.

You understand.

Kristen Stewart, in Chanel

Two things about this outfit:

1. It’s vintage from Chanel’s 1996 collection.
2. Once every every blue moon, when a wolf howls in the dead of night, when clocks run reverse and dust falls into a complete circle, when the line between here and the upside down beyond what we know becomes as thin as a whisper — in those moments, I see what everyone else sees in Kristen Stewart.

Last night was absolutely one of those nights.

Kim Petras, in Marc Jacobs

Those boots = the gayest thing I have ever seen.

Ariana DeBose, in Altuzarra

These cornrows are GIVINGGGGG.

Cardi B, in Chenpeng Studio

Three complete complete outfit changes in less than a three hour period? Not to be extremely basic, but immediately I worried if they remembered to schedule Cardi a bathroom break. (No comment on Doja Cat as a cat can be made at this time.)

Phoebe Bridgers, in Tory Burch

I’m sorry it’s impossible for me to see Phoebe Bridger without thinking about her at Coachella. Did you miss it? Singularly one of the most gay and erotic performances this year.

Ice Spice, in Balmain

I just love how all the rap girlies are bi these days. Like damn, she in her mood.

Keke Palmer, in Sergio Hudson and Swarovski

Now listen…

Respectfully.

RESPECTFULLY.

R E S P E C T F U L L Y.

— the call dropped.

Anitta, in Marc Jacobs and Tiffany & Co.

Anitta is one of two people that I didn’t know before I started this round up (the other is further down, keep scrolling) but she’s a bisexual Brazilian singer, songwriter, television host, and actress. I started playing her music while writing this post and it’s a bop.

Cara Delevingne, in Karl Lagerfeld

I don’t always love Cara’s looks, but the leather gloves are clutch. Such a good touch.

Bella Ramsey, in Thom Browne

THIS IS THE CUTEST FUCKING FIT. Just a pinnacle of queer fashion.

And just wait until you see the after party look. I just…

What I love about this look is that it’s so approachable? I could imagine 100 different queers wearing this to a backyard wedding or a party that’s sort-of fancy but not too fancy, you know the type. It’s laid back and confident.

Not to honor gen z queer royalty with an extremely millennial joke but: You go, Bella. Four for you, Bella. (that’s a Mean Girls reference. Just making sure you’re still with me here!)

Rita Ora, in Prabal Gurung

Not enough trains, I say!

Angèle

Angèle is the other person that hadn’t made it on my radar before this roundup, but she’s a major Belgian pop star who came out as bisexual a few years ago, and I found this quote extremely relatable: “When I was a Teenager, if I had had more examples of bi or gay lesbians on TV, I might have understood faster than I was bi.”

Alex Newell

I know it’s the gleek trauma bond deep within in me, but whenever I see Alex I can’t help but smile. They’re really out here making it. I only want for them to succeed.

Aubrey Plaza, in Stella McCartney

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She’s an icon, she’s a legend.

Stephanie Hsu, in Valentino

That black lipstick. The eyeliner. That tie. Those sequins. My heart, my feelings. Everything everywhere all at once.

Brittney & Cherelle Griner, in Calvin Klein

Honestly, the fact that I didn’t include 40 photos of BG & Cherelle is in and of itself an act of self-restraint, and I deserve an applause.

And yes, I’m still including a second photo, because Brittney Griner laughing while taking in Lil Nas X’s full body sparkle is, moving forward, the only thing I mean when I say Black queer representation matters.