“Merry Fistmas: A Virtual Vaginal Fisting Workshop” is part of the 13 Days of A+. From December 13 through December 25, we’re celebrating the people who literally keep our lights on, who believed we could make it through 2020, who invest and participate in this community through challenges and growth and change — that’s YOU. It’s truly magical to have so many guardian gayngels looking out for this space, and we’re so delighted to be able to do something a little special for our queer fam to close out the year. Some of what we publish for the 13 Days will be cozy and familiar, like Into the A+ Advice Box and Some Answers to Some Questions You’ve Been Asking Us. Some of it will be a twist on regulars; we have Malic White as a guest editor for two installments of the erotica series S L I C K for one… and the rest? We’re going to keep those pieces all boxed up in scissoring-patterned wrapping paper until they publish. We’re looking forward to spending some time with you. 

Hello and Merry Fistmas! Thank you to EVERYONE who came out for this educational workshop led by Malic White. If you missed it, you can still watch the recording right below:

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Or you can watch it on Crowdcast with password: 13APLUSFISTMAS.

Links to Products Mentioned

1. Überlube silicon-based lube
2. Sliquid Sassy water-based lube
3. Swan Wand vibrating toy
4. njoy 11 stainless steel toy

Use code AUTOSTRADDLE for 15% off at Enby where they have the njoy 11 for sale. For 25% off all Smitten Kitten (where they carry both lubes and the Swan Wand) plus free domestic shipping, use code AUTOSTRADDLE2020 on purchases of $50 or more. Enby code does not expire, Smitten Kitten code expires 12/31/2020.

You can also shop discounts at several more sex toy retailers with our A+ holigay discounts post. Most deals expire by end of the year!

The Transcript

Malic White:

OK. It looks like we are live. Hello and Merry Fistmas. So it is hard to tell who all is here right now. I can see how many people are registered but I don’t think who is currently watching live so if you could pop in that would be awesome.

I believe the chat is on the right side of the screen so maybe say hey, maybe why you are interested in this workshop, where you are from, I don’t know. Your favorite food. If you want to say something in there? We got our first hello. Hey, friend. I am recognizing some of your names from the ccomments of the Autostraddle articles so this is really, really fun. ‘Hello from Seattle.’ Awesome. Oh, this is so fun. I didn’t realize this would be so exciting watching this live chat happen. We have got Massachusetts. We have got Minnesota. Favorite food is Swedish fish. Philly.

So cool. I am currently here from Chicago so it is feeling like we have a great representation. Texas, cool. All right. If we can get every state in the U.S. to represent that would be rad as hell. We have Burlington, Vermont. Look at you. This is so exciting. Thank you so much for being here.

This is my first time using Crowdcast so I am going to ask you to be patient. My name is Malic White. I am looking at myself on the screen, I am looking at the chat, I’ve got some notes but we are going to figure it out. I usually teach sex ed in person so teaching online is going to be a little funny but it’s the holiday season, its Fistmas, it’s a pandemic and we are just going to roll with it.

Someone from Ireland. Great. See, you can fist anywhere in the world.

First, I want to give a big that you can to Autostraddle for letting me do this. I love teaching sex ed and I am stoked I get to do it right now especially thank you to Nicole who is putting this together and thank you to A-plus subscribers for making this happen and supporting our publication. That is so important for us and it means that Autostraddle actually gets to pay writers to do our work and pay us adequately and also put on cool things like this.

You might notice there is captioning. You should be able to see that on one side of your screen. This is also your first time doing a Crowdcast with captioning so if there is something wonky with it pop that in the chat or put it in the ask a question section and that will alert Nicole who is working on this with me so we can make sure that this is as smooth as possible. Oh, yeah, and you can also access the captioning at this link that was just put in the chat. Let us know if that’s working for you or not working for you. This is our first time so we need all of the feedback we can get.

A little about me. I have worked in the sex toy industry on and off for about seven years. And I have been teaching sex ed for three years. That is primarily teaching sex ed for adults and most of my classes focus on technique but I also teach about kink. I teach for all people of genders, bodies, orientations. I teach about role-play — really all of the fun stuff. Basically the stuff you didn’t learn in your high school sex ed class if you even had one and that brings me so much joy so I am so happy to be — joy — here today. I have been a contributing writer at Autostraddle for over a year primarily my work focuses on sex and relationships.

In this workshop today we are talking about vaginal fisting which is my favorite subject. I am going to primarily use medical language when we talk about body parts in this workshop. I know not everybody is going to use those terms for your specific body parts but I will be using medical language for the sake of clarity and to represent as many people as possible, but if you have other fun words you use for your body parts that you want to pop in the chat that’s really cool and you can share. I think a lot of us are looking for new words and phrases that feel affirming to whatever our genders are.

One more quick note, actually, two more. So if you have a questions throughout the workshop, please, ask them in the ask a question section which is going to be at the bottom of the screen. I think they will be more likely to get lost in the chat. I am going to try to maybe answer questions as I go if possible but if I am not able to do that, I will definitely go through those at the end of the workshop just to make sure your questions get answered. Thank you, again, for rolling with this. And then, finally, nothing porny is going to happen here. There is not going to be any live fisting as cool as that would be. There is not going to be any nude photos. What you will see will be my face while I am talking to you, you will see me make some really exciting hand gestures, you will see photos of toys and lube and you will see a diagram of a vagina and that’s it. If you are watching at home and you have roommates or family around they are probably not going to see anything too wild on your screen if you are worried about that. Let’s get started.

So, before we start talking vaginal fisting which by definition is getting your whole hand inside of a vagina, amazing thing. Let’s talk about if everyone can experience vaginal fisting. For assigned female folks who are born with our vagina that vagina is potential space meaning the tissue is elastic and stretches to accommodate whatever is inside whether that’s a dildo, penis, menstrual cup and when the object leaves the vagina the tissue shrinks back to the size it was prior to holding that object so very stretchy. That’s how it is going to work most of the time for folks who have always had our vaginas but that’s not going to be the case for everyone. If you are a person or your partner is a person who acquired theirs later in life those walls are not as elastic so fisting or penetration with a large object should be approached with a lot of preparation. If you are using dilators you will want to use the largest dilator you have for a couple hours prior to fisting if that’s something that you want to attempt and just make sure you are following your surgeon’s instructions about post-op care to make sure vagina stays nice and healthy. Also for any person who has had surgery that causes vaginal pain or scarring, fisting might not by fun. It might be too much and hurt. I think most of us know the difference between a stretching pain and an ouch, I am getting injured pain, so be really, really aware of that before you engage in fisting. I am not a doctor or a medical professional and I cannot give medical advice. If you have questions about a specific medical issue in this workshop, surgery, anything like that, and how fisting will work for you, I can’t answer those completely. You would want to check with your doctor if you are concerned that any of those things would get in the way of your fisting experience.

Turns out there are doctors out there that are pro-fisting. I know it is really hard to find in certain parts of the country and world but they are out there. If you feel nervous about bringing up fisting with your doctor it might not be as bad as you think.

First, let’s start by talking about vaginas of assigned female folks really quick because there are some cool things I am going to show you. This is me figuring out how to share my screen. I know how to do it. I just learned how to do it. I have to scroll down to this diagram. I knew this would be a little weird and wonky so thank you very much. Share screen. Here we go. OK. I think you should be able to see this.

I want to show you some different parts of the inside of the vagina so that we can basically get a handle on like why we would want to try fisting. Obviously, fisting is fun because it can be really kinky, it can be a really intimate way to connect with our partners and give us different orgasms that stimulate parts of the vagina that might not get as much attention during other kinds of sex.

Isn’t this fun that there is a diagram that has fingers going inside the vagina? I think I want to print this out and put it on my wall. As you can see, this green line is going toward the G-spot which is about two inches inside the vagina and that is where the internal portion of the clitoris and the urethral sponge meets. A lot of cis dudes debate if it is real or not but we don’t care. It is a zone that can give us a lot of pleasure. You would want to insert your fingers about two inches inside and press them towards the front wall. You should feel a texture that’s different than the rest of the vaginal wall and that’s a g-spot. If you’re having trouble, it is good to get aroused before. Obviously, you know, any kind of internal stimulation can stimulate that g-spot but fisting puts a whole lot of pressure on the g-spot because there is a whole hand inserted inside of a vagina.

Just past the g-spot on the interior wall is another erogenous zone. This is another erogenous zone and an area that often gets neglected but if you are a person that likes really deep penetration you might be enjoying this stimulation of this area right here. This particular erogenous zone is known for increasing lubrication when there is pressure around it. That’s another area that can get stimulated from fisting and generate its orgasm.

At the back of the vagina, we have the cervix. Some people really enjoy touching against the cervix. You can feel it if your fingers are long enough or you are using a longer object. Everyone’s vagina is different depth but sometimes you can feel the cervix. You want to be careful because while stimulating it does feel good for some folks if you put too much pressure you can bruise it. It isn’t super scary or horrifying but you might experience something that feels like menstrual cramps tomorrow. Any time you are doing deep penetration you are going to want to be careful with that cervix. We will talk more about when it comes to having the whole hand inside.

My video is back. I don’t think I am screenshareing any more. Great. We have a message that the video was turned off to make the image larger. Is everything going OK? Can someone in the chat say if you can see me? Thank you so much, Nicole. Awesome. All right.

A quick note about the cervix when it comes to fisting. The cervix is in different positions during a person’s menstrual cycle. If you are a person who has a cervix and a person with a period your cervix will be lowest in the vaginae around ovulation — or, no, highest during ovulation. If you want to try fisting, one of the best times to do it is during ovulation because there is more room inside a vagina for someone’s hand. You can do it while on the period but the cervix will be a bit lower. You can feel it. It is like a little light bulb hanging down from the vagina. We will talk more about fisting and menstruation in a little bit.

Let’s get into the the part about getting in, right? I think that’s what a lot of us are here for. How do you get that hand in there? How do you turn your partner into a human puppet? I am going to tell you how. It is going to be so fun. First, I am going to direct most of this to the fisters and then we will talk about the fistee. If you are a person who is going to be doing the fisting, you want to make sure your nails are trimmed nice and short. You don’t want to have super long nails going inside of a vagina to is that depth because you can definitely cause cuts and abrasions that way so for the safety of your partner it is a good idea to have trimmed nails. That said, I have incredible film folks in my life who love their acrylics and long nails and know how to do magic with those things that I was not aware of, so a special trick I have learned from these folks is to use a latex or nitrate glove and put cotton balls in the end of each finger and put that on and that will protect your sharp ends from poking your partner.

If you are going to be fisting with your bare hands make sure there are not cuts on your hand because that’s not a good idea for STI and for you. I would recommend you do wear a glove the first time you try together and the reason is because it smooths out any bumps in your hand and makes insertion a whole lot easier. A latex or nitrile glove will be your friend in that case.

Of course, you will want to lubricate that glove and hand. You are going to want to use lube any time we use large objects. I am going to share my screen to give you some recommendations.

All right. I think you can see this. I am going to be focusing on silicone and water-based lubes. Those are the most commonly used. This silicone lube I am going to recommend specifically for fisting but any kind of sexual activity really is Überlube [Editor’s Note: You can purchase this and the following lube that is mentioned through Smitten Kitten, where A+ members receive 25% off orders of $50 or more until December 31, 2020 with code AUTOSTRADDLE2020]. What I love about the silicone lube is that it is light and not as heavy as other silicone lubes but the big bonus is it doesn’t stain your sheets like other silicone lube. That means you can be generous with this and you will not have a problem. The reason why I specifically love silicone lube for fisting is silicone lube hangs out for a long time in the body and once you have a whole hand in the vagina you can’t exactly reapply lube. You want something you can put on the hand or glove once and insert. Silicone lube is going to be your friend in that case. If you are using toys, pro or post, made out of silicone, you will want to use a water lube because silicone can eat away and damage the toys.

If you opt for a water-based lube because of toys or because it is your personal preference I really recommend Sliquid Sassy. This one is awesome for people with sensitive skin because it has minimal ingredients. They market it as anal lube because it is thick but it is great for vaginal as well. It will hangout a while and provide extra cushion with that gel lubricate.

I am going to stop sharing the screen and I think it worked. We have a question in the chat. “If silicon toys are covered by a condom are they safe from silicone lube?” Yes. A condom isn’t going to cover your toy completely. There is a chance lube could get underneath but generally that is a safe option if that is your preference.

Also, regarding lube, so for folks who have vaginas through gender conformation, your vagina is not going to self-lubricate so you will need more lube or if you are going through menopause, take testosterone or take medication causing less wetness in your vagina, you will want to be generous with the lube.

Also, if you are the fistee, the person getting fisted, you will want to engage in a whole lot of foreplay. The more turned on you can be, the more relaxed the vagina can be and the more relaxed the vagina is and that will allow everything to open up and welcome that hand inside. It is a really good idea if you can to have like 1-2 orgasms first before you try fisting because that does a whole lot to relax the body.

Now, also, to the fistee, position is really important if you are a person getting fisted. There are two positions that work the best for relaxation. One is on your back with your knees up if that’s comfortable for you. That’s a good position for getting fisted or on your hands and knees can be great especially if you are on a bed. Somewhere where you can be comfortable. It is important to think about comfort with fisting because it does take awhile to make it happen and you want to make sure all parties involved are in a position where you can actually stay there for the amount of time that it is going to take to fist.

For the fister, the person doing the fisting, same goes for you. You will be in one position for awhile so think about where your shoulder is or wrist is because you don’t want to be almost there and your partner loves it and you have a cramp. Once your hand is inside it takes attention to remove it so you don’t want to be literally stuck inside a vagina. Actually, that sounds amazing but, you know what I mean. For the person doing the fisting, you will want to be n position where you can use the muscles behind the shoulder blade and keeping everything in place. If you are using the muscles of your fingers and wrist to push into the vagina, those muscles are going to tire out quickly and you will be more likely to hurt yourself. Make sure you are using your larger muscle groups as much as possible.

Now we are going to talk about how that hand gets in there. This is the part we have all been waiting for. Folks who have experience with penetration can really just go for this but if you haven’t done a whole lot of penetration or have only done penetration with 1-2 fingers fisting is something you will need to work up to. Don’t go into this with the expectation you will be able to take the whole hand if you have never taken more than two fingers. For the person doing the fisting, you will want to start one finger at a time. Start with one or two fingers like we usually do, pressing the toward the front wall and start to add them. You want to keep your fingers as close together as possible.

Right now I have all four of my fingers stacked on top of each other and you will want to start with those four fingers as we are moving towards fisting. It is really, really important to be communicating with the person you are fisting the whole time and for the fistee it is really important to be communicating with the person doing the fisting as they go. You don’t want to get hurt and it be painful in a not fun way. Keep the conversation going. This is part of why fisting is such a cool activity for partners because it does force you to practice the ongoing consent and practice communication and it can feel actually really intimate and loving and care taking which is super amazing.

Once you have the four fingers inside, you will want to do this and now I have included my thumb and all my fingers are pressed together sort of like a duck puppet. You will want to add the thumb. The hardest part for a lot of folks is getting past the knuckles. Everybody has a different hand size so this is going to vary from person to person but if you have a perp person like me with wide hands and knuckles that might be more difficult versus if you have a more narrow hand but this is the hump to get over.

If this is your first attempt fisting with a partner and all you do is get these four fingers in a bit and that feels good and that’s fun. Great. The point is not to get the whole hand in there. The point is for this to be pleasurable and fun and any time we are having goal-oriented sex that can take us out of the moment. If you just get this far, cool. If you want to try for the knuckles next time, great. But if it is going well, and you want to get those knuckles in, there are a few things that both parties can do for the most challenging part.

One, the person who is getting fisted can do some deep breathing. I know it sounds silly. You have probably even told a million times to breathe deeply if you are having anxiety or if you are stressed and it sounds a little bananas but it really does help relax those muscles. You can also use some visualization. This really works. Visualize yourself welcoming that hand in or whatever the object is whether that’s a hand or a dildo or just a couple fingers. That visualation is going to activate your pelvic floor muscles and might help those relax and open up a bit so that those knuckles can get inside.

For the person doing the fisting, if you can use the other hand to stimulate your partner’s clit that can help as well. Generally providing any pleasure, whether that’s clit or nipples, that can help arousal increase and the vagina relax to get that whole hand inside. Once you are past the knuckles, you might get the bottom of the palm or even the wrist and that’s when you want to curl your hand into an fist hence fisting. That’s what we call it. That’s not going to be possible all of the time depending on the person you are fisting, the size of your hand, where you are at in their cycle, the combination of the size of their hand and their vagina so this part might not always be possible but it does make fisting a bit more comfortable for the person if you are able to make an fist. Then you are doing it and your hand is all the way inside a vagina which is a really incredible thing but I think a lot of folk whose haven’t tried fisting before get the whole fist in there and think what do I do now? I did the magic trick. What do I do?

Well, there are a few things that you can do. For some folks when they are getting fisted, they just want that hand in there and be completely still and that’s fine. For a lot of folks just the pressure on the g-spot, the a-spot and the cervix and the feeling of fullness is enough to just really enjoy it. They might not be able to take much movement. Maybe that feels painful. Just a still fist is great. For folks who do want a little movement, if your partner is asking for movement, it is a good idea to just tilt your wrist forward a bit and get rhythmic pressure on the g-spot like in the same way we are taught to do a come hither motion with our fingers when we are having finger sex. You can also do that with your whole hand. You will want to start gently and if you can encourage your partner to move against your hand instead of you moving your hand that can give you an idea of the amount of pressure they are craving in that moment because it can be kind of hard to tell.

And then, also, you don’t want to do a whole lot of thrusting with fisting. That’s usually not going to be possible. It is not necessarily going to be safe or fun. I think sometimes when we first hear about fisting, we think it is punching the inside of a vagina and that is absolutely not what it is. You want to use gentle, rhythmic movement when you are fisting.

And then while you are fisting or getting fisted just think about how cool this is. Really enjoy it. I know it can be a little bit stressful maybe to try it for the first time because I think we can all get in our heads when we are trying something new. We want to make sure our partner feels comfortable and they are experiencing pleasure but, really, like, get yourself in the moment. This is an amazing thing that bodies can do together. You can admire how powerful your partner’s body is. That’s always cool. And then also another note for the fister, when your hand is inside and you might have experienced this before like just with your fingers having hand sex, it gets very hot in there and pelvic floor muscles are very, very strong. There might be a point where doing the fisting is no longer comfortable for you, the fister, and that is when you will want to negotiate your way out. If the fistee is enjoying it there is a chance your hand is scathing to be cramped and uncomfortable in there. — cramped. Both partners need to be in touch with each other so everybody can get in and get out safely.

Before I move on to getting out are there any questions? Oh, there are questions. I am going to actually try and answer these at the end because these — nope, I am going to do it now. Why not. I didn’t realize these questions were coming in. I will answer these lube questions quick. One of the questions is “how do you introduce lube in a cool not awkward way when you start having sex with someone?” That’s a great question. I think some people get self-conscious about using lube especially folks with vaginas that do self-lubricate. I think there is this notion that if you are not wet then you are not enjoying it. I think there is some pressure sometimes for someone to say like well I am wet enough. I don’t need lube. No, there is absolutely no — you don’t get a special prize for that. We all need lube sometimes for certain things and that’s OK. If you want to introduce lube, I would just tell your partner that this is something that makes sex more comfortable for you or safer for you, and hopefully, they will be able to acknowledge that. Any time we are talking about our comfort and our pleasure, the people who are having sex with us, they are going to want to acknowledge that and take care of us if they are good people. So hopefully that answers your question about how to introduce lube in a “cool” way. And also, casually, too. You don’t have to apologize for it. As casual as we can be about it is always a good thing.

Another person asked what Uberlube or Sliquid Sassy taste like. Uberlube taste like silicone lube. It’s not great. It’s not horrible. Sliquid Sassy doesn’t have much of a taste at all. If anything, it kind of taste like sweetener like Sweet-and-Low. To be clear there is no sweetener in that lube. It is just a slight taste in comparison to other lubes. I know some are not so good and for us who like to incorporate our mouths into sex it is a good idea to have a lube that taste OK. I don’t think any lube is wonderful to taste unless you are going for a flavored lube but those are pretty OK. I think I got those questions. Great. And oh, yeah.

Before we talk about getting that hand out there was another thing that I wanted to cover that I completely missed. When you are fisting, you don’t have to just be fisting and that’s it. You can incorporate fisting into other activities. Maybe the first time you try it that’s going to be the main focus and the main event because you are new in figuring it out but once you have done it a couple of times you can use a vibrator on a partner while you fist them, your partner can use a vibrator on yourself or on you while you fist them, you can incorporate fisting into a role-play situation. If you are into medical role-play for example this could be part of an exam. There are all kinds of things you can do with fisting and those can all just make it extra fun but, again, before you start engaging in some wild role-play sex theater, just focus on your fisting technique to make sure everybody is safe and A-OK.

Now let’s talk about getting that hand out. This can sometimes be more challenging than getting the hand in just because any time something is introduced inside of the vagina our pelvic floor muscles want to grab on to it. Once that hand is in there, these pelvic floor muscles are squeezing around that hand and it can make it challenging to remove it. If you are the person who is the fistee and the hand is inside you, take a deep breathe and relax the muscles and just like that visualization we talked about of getting the hand inside and visualizing the vagina welcoming that object in, now you will want to visualize pushing that object out. You can aid your partner by using your pelvic floor muscles to start to push that hand outside your vagina. For the person who has their hand inside, the fister, your hand will be in an fist and you will want to uncurl those fingers. You will not pull it out while your hand is still in the fist. You will want to let those fingers go straight and slowly remove the knuckles and slowly remove the fingers.

Again, do this very, very slowly and be in communication with your partner the whole time because it can be really painful. Maybe you have experienced this with a dildo or fingers, if you have in some new wild sex position and you move something and something gets ripped right out of there, that can hurt and it is isn’t fun and when it is a whole hand it is really, really not fun. Make sure you go slow.

When you feel the muscles are almost pushing you out should you take your hand out in that moment? You can start to take your hand out. I wouldn’t go all the way with it. This is a slow process, again. Also, this is only if you have already communicated with your partner, OK it is time to wrap this up, and get this hand out, please, help me. Sometimes if you are fisting and you haven’t talked about exiting the vagina, you might feel that pressure from the pelvic floor that might feel like they are pushing your hand out but they may not be conscious to that. It may be how their body is responding and they are really enjoying the fisting. If you can remove your fingers one at a time that’s awesome. That’s how you get out of there.

If you have fisted a partner, you have been fisted and no orgasms were had, that’s totally fine. That is really, really important to acknowledge especially when you are new to fisting. Going after an orgasm is not the point. Yes, fisting does offer the potential to experience new kinds of orgasms but it might be something to experience down the line when you. I think a lot of us have difficulty having an orgasm when doing a new activity. Maybe you are nervous and can’t be in the moment. Remember, we are not going for the orgasm here. We are just going for pleasure and connection and that feeling of fullness and that pressure is really, really satisfying for a lot of folks without any orgasms happening.

Someone asked in the chat if it possible for a person to fist themselves. Yes, it is. People can do that. It, of course, is not a very comfortable position for the wrist, especially for a long period of time, so it requires a specific arm length to torso ratio but yes, you can fist yourself. Obviously that is something to approach with a whole lot of caution especially for that wrist. Your wrist can’t take a whole lot of pressure. Be very careful if you want to attempt fisting yourself but yes, that is a thing that people do. Mostly professionals, I think.

Now I want to talk briefly about toys that mimic the fisting experience. If you are a person who is single, or if you are trying to get your body ready for fisting before a partner fists you, there are some toys that can help you get on your way towards that like deeper, more intense penetration. Wow. Someone said they did figure out how to fist themselves once and it was a wrist gymnastic challenge. I am sure it was but good for you. If anyone else has fisted themselves and they want to pop that in the chat, I would love to celebrate you but for right now, I cannot look at the chat because I am about to share my screen and show you a couple of toys. Just a moment.

OK. I think this is working.

So the first toy I want to talk to you about is this toy called the Swan Wand. There are actually two different Swan Wands. There is the regular swan wand and the swan wand mini. If you are ordering this toy online, please, don’t get those confused because the mini is mini. I am talking about the regular swan wand which is a nine-inch vibrating toy with two different bulbous ends, each with a motor in so you can use either end for penetration. There is a mid-size end and this pretty large end. With this toy, because it is made out of silicone, you will want to use a water-based lube with it, and it is pretty significant. It is 1.96 inches in diamiter. It also does vibrate. This is a really great option. It is USB chargeable and one-year warranty. This is a fancier toy with a high price tag but it last for a long time.

The next toy I want to show you is the njoy 11 [Editor’s note: use code AUTOSTRADDLE for 15% with Enby]. If you haven’t seen a stainless steel toy it might look intimidating but it is isn’t. I promise it is fun. Stainless steel last forever, you can use any type of lube on it and I know we think of stainless steel as being cold and kind of scary but you can actually run this under warm water if you want to warm it up but it also does warm up to body temperature quickly. It doesn’t have that like cold speculum at the doctors office feel once it has been inside your body for a little while.

This is a pretty big toy. Like the Swan Wand, it has two different ends. You can penetrate yourself with both of those ends. And one of the ends is considerably larger than the other so this is another one that’s great to prepare for fisting or large objects with. Stainless steel, unlike silicone toys that have a drag to them, stainless steel because is so smooth, it can glide into the bah body a little more easily. It is also very heavy. This is a $400 chunk of steel. This is a fancy toy but it will last you multiple lifetimes. The weight of this is actually really great because the heavier toys can give you a sense of fullness you might not get from a lighter weight toy so this can prepare you for the sensation of having penetration with a whole hand if that makes sense. I am going to turn off the screenshareing.

That is a bit scary. $400. It is super fancy. I am showing you this on the njoy website. That’s the company that makes that toy but it is sold by a lot of sex toy retailers and those often have sales especially around the holidays so if you check out your local sex toy retailer or any of the ones that are through Autostraddle, check out our — what is it called? Maybe Nicole can help me but if you check out any of those businesses you might be able to find it for less than that. So those are the toys that I wanted to talk about today.

Before we wrap up, I wanted to know if there are any more questions that you can pop in the ask a question section or in the chat. Great. Nicole just popped in the chat and said that we do have some discounts for A-plus members with sex toy retailers and there is a link in the chat. Affiliate links. Thank you, Jennifer. That is a phrase that was not on the tip of my tongue. That is what I was referring to. Thank you, Nicole.

Do we have any more questions because we talked about lube. We talked about and answered the question of fisting ourselves. Going to give it a minute or two and if more questions don’t come in I will say some thank you’s and wrap us up. I am going to look at the question box to make sure I answered everything in there. Oh, there are more questions in here. I didn’t see them before. “Is it possible for your pelvic bones to be too small for fisting?” Yeah, it is. If you are a person who like doesn’t find large penetration to be comfortable for you because the way your pelvis is just doesn’t allow for that then fisting is probably not going to work for you. You can definitely try it but you know, like I said, the difference between this-is-stretching pain, this-is-pleasurable pain versus “I am going to hurt myself.” I would recommend you go really, really slow if you are concerned you do have a really small pelvis.

Someone asked if the same techniques apply to butt fisting. Yes, a lot of the same techniques do but I decided to focus on vaginal fisting today because there are a few more elements involved. A big difference with anal fisting is unlike the vagina which has an end to it the anus does not. You can go forever inside of a butt so you can really, really fist deep inside a butt. That can make it definitely more of a varsity level activity because unlike the vagina where we do have a significant amount of nerve endings around the opening and a little bit less towards the back, in the butt you have some nerve endings on the opening and then the deeper you go, there are places that you can’t feel at all so if you are getting anally fisted and you are getting injured from it you might not know, so that makes anal fisting a little bit more of a varsity level activity there. Maybe they will let me teach an an anal fisting workshop.

I am not giving other workshops but there are other events happening for the 13 days of A-plus. We have a cooking ask me anything. If you have questions about cooking and baking. Tuesday, thank you, Nicole. Tuesday. If you have questions about cooking and baking and you want to have some Autostraddle writers who are really great at that, we will be there live to answer your questions and you can find that on our website. And there should be more stuff in the newsletter too. I will be doing that as well. I can talk about fisting and making gluten-free biscuits. Those are my two talents. There are more questions in the question thing. Let me check these out.

“More advice on fisting someone with a surgically created vagina.” Great question. This is just, again, something that should be approached with caution just because those walls aren’t going to be quite as elastic. Unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot of research or information out regarding fisting and gender conformation surgery. I mean, generally not a whole lot of information out there about sex after gender conformation surgery which is a bummer. There needs to be more studies and information and conversations about that for folks who are wanting to experience that deep penetration. In that case, my two biggest pieces of advice are to use lots and lots of lube, go really slow, and make sure that the dilators you are using are definitely on the larger end and to use your largest dilator about two hours before engaging in fisting or any kind of penetration with large objects, but also if you are a person who has had gender confirmation surgery, also talk to your doctor or surgeon before engaging in an activity like fisting if you have concerns because they will be able to tell you exactly how much your vagina can take if you are still figuring that out for yourself.

“Is it necessary to take rings off before fisting?” Yes. Such a good question and I absolutely should have mentioned that. Yes, please take your rings off before you put your fingers or hands inside a partner’s vagina. Clearly it isn’t going to get lost in there forever but any time we lose a small object inside a vagina whether that’s a ring or a condom or a tampon it is just such a chore to get it out and it is not very comfortable. You want to avoid it for that reason. Also, depending on what kind of ring it is you can really scratch someone’s vaginal wall with it which is not very comfortable, so definitely, take those rings off. I think I answered all of the questions in the chat. Great. I think we have done it.

Thank you all so much for being here. I am so glad that this many people turned up for a workshop on vaginal fisting. I hope your holiday season is going great. This is being recorded so if you want to watch it again, you can pull this up. Thanks so much to Nicole our fundraising director for making it happen and for making the captioning happen. This has been really cool and for walking me through Crowdcast because I am so bad at technology. Thank you, A-plus subscribers for supporting Autostraddle. We need all of the help we can get and we really, really appreciate you. I don’t think I am in charge of closing this out. I think Nicole is going to do that so just a final thank you so much and have a great day. And I guess we are going to end this. I guess I keep talking until it closes.

End Transcript

*Editor’s Note: There weren’t any images aside from the products linked above that were featured on-screen, except for one diagram of a vagina, so there are no screen caps with alt-text at this time. Malic also made sure to describe everything in detail and most of the information was aural. However, if you need additional descriptions or anything else for access reasons, please don’t hesitate to let us know in the comments below! We’re working to make Autostraddle content as accessible as possible, and are so grateful for any feedback that helps us do better.

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