It’s not always easy to find a gender-affirming haircut, but it’s easier now than it was 14 years ago. Back in 2010, when M Arida wanted to find a queer barber, they wondered what a queer barber shop would even look like. What if they could get a haircut without having to code switch? What if instead of talking about football they could talk about the issues that actually interested them? They knew they couldn’t be the only person who felt that way.

In 2017, Arida decided to change careers and went to barber school. Now, with successful TikTok and Instagram accounts, Arida provides gender-affirming, masculine-of-center haircuts to people at their Providence, Rhode Island studio and continues to build their queer barber shop utopia. They took to social media in the first place to make sure more queer people in New England knew about what they do, they didn’t expect the reach to go so far. After finding Arida on social media, people have traveled from as far as Ohio specifically for an Arida haircut, while others have made a point to visit while passing through from places like Korea and Australia. Bookings are available on Arida’s website.

Many people coming to Arida seek a change, whether it’s related to appearance, identity, health, emotions, or all of the above. And Arida understands their clients’ experiences because they’ve had the same ones. Arida had short hair all their life, but they’ve often thought about what it would have been like to have a gender-affirming barber during their own transition. Now they get to be that barber for someone else.

I spoke to M Arida about gender-affirming haircuts as self-care and power, the importance of having agency over self-presentation, and more.

Elyssa: How are you bringing your idea of a queer barber shop life in your new shop?

M Arida: It’s getting there. I was cutting in a barber shop in Boston previously. Now it’s just me and I cut in a little private spot I rent in Providence, Rhode Island from this community pottery studio, which is a very queer place. The owner is queer, most of the people there are queer. I’ve been here for like six months, and it’s a really great feeling place. Existing here has been great for creating the type of environment I want. My regular clients definitely feel better here. It’s always a work in progress, but I feel like I’m making improvements. When I started using social media to promote my work in Boston, I was busy enough–my clients were probably 50/50, queer and not queer. I wanted more of a push in that [queer] direction. I wanted to give my business a kickstart. I also knew there were more people out there who wanted this service in this area. l wasn’t even thinking beyond the Boston area at the time. Some people love to get a 15 minute haircut, and they’re fine with that, but I wanted to let people know I was doing something different. I especially wanted to invite queer and trans people in and help them feel good about themselves. I feel like that’s important. We don’t have a lot of that.

Elyssa: How did you decide to specialize in gender-affirming haircuts?

M Arida: When I first had this idea, I was identifying and presenting as a butch lesbian. I’d never really run up against anyone saying, “I’m not gonna cut your hair,” or “are you sure you want to go this short?” which I know a lot of people deal with. My initial thought was, at salons in big cities you’re not gonna have too hard a time finding a queer-friendly salon. People who want that more traditional, femme-looking cut will for the most part be okay. Those places exist. But queer-friendly barber shops? Not that they didn’t exist, but I’d never heard of such a thing at the time. I’m a barber, so those are the kinds of haircuts I do. And people who lean more masc of center, if you will–and obviously, all this language is very arbitrary, but just for the purposes of being clear, this is the language that I’m using–I put myself in that category, and we don’t really have a place to go that doesn’t feel at least a little bit uncomfortable. That was the idea from the jump, and it evolved since then. I wanted to do gender-affirming cuts for more masc presenting people and that still is the majority of what I do. Sometimes people will message me and they’ll say I’m trans femme, or I’m a cis woman, and I want to keep my long layers, I tend to direct them elsewhere, just because I don’t think I’m the best person for that job. Maybe someday it’d be cool to branch out more. Hair is important, especially for trans people or gender-variant people, gender nonconforming people. That’s a really big way to feel good about the way you look and the way you present yourself. I’m really happy I get to provide that for people because it’s really important to me, and I know I’m not the only one.

Elyssa: How do you see the relationship between hair and self-care unfold with people who come to see you? I’m thinking as much of the person who came in while undergoing cancer treatment as the person seeking a gender-affirming haircut and another making a big chop for the first time.

M Arida: Not for everybody, but a lot of the time, I think part of taking care of yourself is feeling good about the way you look. It’s the same reason people get a haircut after a breakup: it feels good. It’s a reclamation of yourself. Especially for some queer and trans people, it can be a way we’re recognized in the world. That guy going through cancer treatment, he wasn’t feeling good about himself. He’s physically ill. But his wife messaged me a few days later, thanked me, and let me know how important it was for him. It’s sort of cheesy, but when you feel good, you look good. It isn’t obviously always true, but at least in my line of work, I’ve noticed it really does make a difference. For me, when I get a haircut, I feel great. I definitely think it’s self-care. A lot of people, trans, queer, straight, cis, a good haircut is affirming. It’s affirming for everybody. Feeling affirmed in who you are is very good for you and I think that’s a huge part of self care, personally, especially for queer and trans people who maybe haven’t always felt they have agency over or they have anxiety about presenting the way they want to in the world for obvious reasons. Taking ownership of their appearance, and being like, no, fuck that, I’m gonna do it anyway, that also feels really good. When I come in, I need to show up for these people, because they are expecting a lot from me, and I expect a lot from myself. I want to make sure I give them not just a good haircut, but a good experience being there.

Elyssa: Have there been any differences in the way you view your work after the results of the election?

M Arida: When I look at it objectively, I can be like, yes, this is an important service being provided. When I look at it as me providing the service, I get shy. But at the risk of sounding arrogant, I think it’s more important now, or is about to be more important now, than ever. I was cutting when Trump was president the first time. But fuck him and everything he stands for, everybody he surrounds himself with. I want to get all my queer and trans people feeling as good as they can and very proudly be able to present themselves in defiance of all of that shit, to present themselves as they want to. I also think it’s good for people to have a place to come and talk about it if they want. I’m just gonna keep doing what I do.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!