We have so much to catch up on since the Internet beat us to death on Saturday, Sunday and Monday! Here we go…

MARGARET CHO:

Margaret Cho says lesbians make better comedians. This is true.

What has the stand-up comedy world been like for women, in your experience?

I think the comedy community is not supportive to women in comedy. It’s just not a supportive environment. It’s interesting; a lot of women who are successful in comedy are lesbians. Or they have a fluid kind of gender identity, like I do. I am very fluid in that capacity. [Cho has had relationships with both men and women. She is currently married to a man.] But you can’t really be a successful female comic if you give a s**t what guys think at all. So a lot of heterosexual women end up dropping out because they just care too much about what guys think. I think that’s why there’s always lesbians who take over because they don’t care. It’s just an element to their personalities that helps them get by. That’s the closet explanation I can see. The women comedians that are out there generally are gay. The community itself is not supportive to women, and so you don’t have it on the inside and you don’t have any kind of building or a connection. It’s just hard.

Do you think there are some topics women can make funny in a way that men can’t?

I think that’s everything. I generally prefer female comics anyway. I think that women are just better at it in general because we have to be better at it to survive and to be taken seriously. You have to be so good to get noticed as a female comic, so the quality of the art, what they’re doing, is just better.

We couldn’t possibly agree more! I wanted to add that black comedians are also funnier than other people (for example my favorite comedians are Chris Rock & Julie Goldman), but Alex Vega told me I wasn’t allowed to say that. Alex Vega thinks thinks Margaret Cho can say what she wants about lesbians because she’s bisexual, but I can’t say what I want about black comedians because I’m not black, to which I pointed out that I have a black half-brother (this is true) (Alex Vega doesn’t think that really matters, is probs right), and then Crystal said she just learned from reading about the Miley Cyrus/Perez Hilton debacle that “if you stick the word ‘allegedly’ in your article at least ten times you are not accountable for anything.” So I would just like to add that I personally feel that in addition to lesbians being funnier, black comedians are allegedly also funnier than other people. ALLEGEDLY. According to my personal opinion.

Anyhoosers, why are these groups of people allegedly funnier than other people? Well, in his book about TEH GOLDEN AGE OF COMEDY, someone named Nachman said this about Jewish comedians (I’m Jewish so I can say whatevs I want on this, bitches!):

… the link between Jews and comedy has been pondered as often as the meaning of life itself, but Nachman has a pet theory as to why so many great comics have been Jewish. “They’re funnier,” he says. Beyond that, Nachman adds, “it has to do with ‘outsiderness,’ being the observer. There’s a critical nature Jews have, and you have to have that to be a comedian. But I don’t know where funniness comes from.”

So that applies here as well. Otherness.

Furthermore, Margaret Cho has recorded a musical album with just about everyone who makes us cream in our pants, and speaking of our pants, she actually recorded a song called “Camel Toe” with Ani DiFranco. Doesn’t that sound like a dream you had last night? “OMG, last night I dreamed that Margaret Cho and Ani DiFranco recorded a song together about camel toe, isn’t that so weird?” So weird, yes, but also REAL LIFE!

Tell me about Cho Dependent, the album of songs that you recorded.

My album is a comedy album, a bunch of collaborations with different musicians that I’m fond of. It’s people like Ani DiFranco, Tegan and Sarah [sic], Andrew Bird, Jon Brion, Grant Lee Phillips and Fiona Apple. So it’s comedy songs. I think most musicians want to be comedians and most comedians want to be musicians, so it’s a good exchange.

JANE LYNCH:

Lesbian Jane Lynch and some other funny ladies, including Lesbian Wanda Sykes, gathered to discuss important topics. Take a gander.

PEREZ HILTON:

If an adult were to send out an up-skirt photo of a 17-year old girl to over 2 million people, should said adult be charged for child porn? What about if that adult is Perez Hilton and the 17-year-old girl is Miley Cyrus and it all went down on twitter? Perez allegedly tweeted a link to an image that allegedly showed Miley climbing out of a vehicle that was allegedly a car with allegedly no underwear on, and even though now the alleged image has allegedly been removed, if this is all for real and not just an allegation, then Perez could maybe be facing up to 15 years in prison because Miley’s a minor, and so it is legally considered child pornography. Somebody get on that. (@salon)

THE TONY AWARDS:

Sunday night’s Tony Awards, hosted by Sean Hayes, was super gay as per ushe, but also this year it was super Hollywood, as Hollywood people won for every category in which they were nominated. This included Catherine Zeta-Jones for “A Little Night Music,” and Denzel Washington and Viola Davis for best actor/actress in Best Play Revival “Fences” (by August Wilson). Scarlett Johansson won for best featured actress in a play for her Broadway debut in Arthur Miller’s “View from a Bridge.” Best Musical went to “Memphis,” and British Production “Red” took best play, as well as five other Tonys. Also, it was the first time in Tony history that black performers won best actor and best actress in a play for the same theater season. Holler.

In a nod to the the Homophobic Newsweek Article we obsessed over for many many weeks, host Sean Hayes and Promises Promises co-star Krisitin Chenoweth opened the awards show with Kristin offering Sean good luck and then exchanging what The New York Times described as “a long, open-mouthed kiss.”

Here’s the opening number, which ends with Green Day’s American Idiot:

Lea Michelle and Matt Morrison performing:

LADY GAGA:

The Illuminati has spoken! Lady Gaga’s Alejandro video, as analyzed by the expert on occult mind control and the only Lady Gaga expert better than our own.

KATY PERRY:

Katy Perry denies slamming Lady Gaga:

“Lately, I’ve just been seeing some things that are kind of… not something I would do, I guess,” Perry — who grew up with strict religious parents, both ministers — explained during an interview with a French radio station Sunday.

“Like, you know when Madonna was on the cross? And, like, sometimes my boyfriend will say things that are ehhh…” she said, referring to fiance Russell Brand. “From where I come from, it’s hard for me to say that….”

THE REAL L WORDS:

Ilene Chaiken is back where she likes to be, on stages in front of lots of lesbians! There are also large posters of the cast of The Real L Word. This is really exciting, I can’t wait.

ELLEN DEGENERES:

Ellen DeGeneres is writing her third book! (@nytimes)

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