Love on the Spectrum makes its queer fans wait until more than mid-way through episode three, almost dead middle of the series, before they even introduce the season’s only queer woman. When we meet Pari, 22, we learn right away that she loves trains, and that she’s bisexual. She talks with pride about her queerness, and about her autism, and that comfort is hard-won. She says she didn’t always embrace her special interests, but today she’s unabashedly one of the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority’s biggest fans. Their symbol is a “T” in a giant circle, one which she holds on signs, displays on shirts, and works into conversation in hyper-specific puns that are pretty T-riffic. She also loves princesses, and her Instagram reveals that she’s combined these interests through illustrations where she’s envisioned princesses that represent different public transit lines.

Pari has an active social life. Her friend group — the Railfans — coordinate outings (T-ventures) together where they ride the MBTA lines and try to find some “rare catches.” The two men in the Railfans who make an appearance on the show talk about how they had crushes on Pari, but respect that she’s interested in girls, and are happy to be her friend — a dynamic which is giving off just, vibrant bisexual energy. Pari has game, there’s no doubt, though she accepts some coaching from her male friends prior to going on her first date.

Pari lives with her mom, Esme, in Boston. Her older sister is also autistic. Pari and her mom seem close, and Esme gives off a vibe that fills the room with warmth, but also calm. Pari’s father is dead, and her mom currently has breast cancer, but the two seem to be mutually supportive of one another through any challenges. Before her first date, Esme coaches Pari that her date may not be as in love with the MBTA as she is, something that Pari accepts as long as some train-riding remains possible. The Love on the Spectrum subreddit told me a bit more about just how controversial Pari’s love of the MBTA might be, too. For any non-Bostonians, as one Reddit user put it, “To think that anyone could be so enraptured by the MBTA, which is almost universally reviled among the locals I know, is both hilarious and wholesome, and makes me appreciate the T more.” Multiple Reddit users are calling for the MBTA to sponsor Dani as a spokeswoman, too, considering the deep level of her ambassadorship.

This season, overall, is notable for its high rate of success — there were four new couples that met, fell for each other, and were still together at the close of the season’s production. According to the creators, part of the success might just lie in the fact that participants know what to expect now that the show’s been streaming for a couple of seasons. This makes a lot of sense, especially when you consider common accessibility aids for people with autism, such as the “social story.” While “social stories” are commonly used with children, watching a previous season of a show and seeing how everything works is like a more advanced version, one that demonstrates the steps one might expect to take when participating — for the main cast and the dates alike.

The producers make the matches themselves, hand-picking dates for participants and playing match-maker. This dynamic led me to criticize them for their failure to find someone who could click with last season’s queer woman, Journey. That said, they hit it out of the park this season when they paired Pari and Tina.

When Tina and Pari meet for a restaurant date, Tina appears a bit quieter than Pari. But Pari thoughtfully gives Tina space in the conversation, asking questions, and engaging with her responses. They have a discussion about late-in-life autism diagnosis (Tina was diagnosed at 22), and how autism is under-diagnosed in people raised as girls. Much of the thought around under-diagnosis in girls looks at how growing up socialized as a girl, with an emphasis on concern for others’ feelings and managing others feelings in social situations, leads to these individuals masking their autism and flying under the radar.

“Masking” refers to the intentional, and often exhausting, practice of hiding one’s autism in order to appear more neurotypical. It’s not something that comes naturally, but is something that takes a lot of energy to accomplish. Think, for example, of remembering to make the “right” faces in a situation, to smile at the appropriate times and for the right length of time and intensity, when this might not come naturally. Over time, this can wear a person down and keep them from connecting with their authentic self — and unmasking might mean allowing oneself to, for example, get excited about trains or to just relax and stop worrying if your body language is “typical” or not. Pari’s mom mentioned that Pari and her older sister “mainstreamed” in school, meaning that they attended class with neurotypical classmates, which also likely meant she felt some pressure to fit in or to attempt to be like her classmates — a very typical experience for a girl in school. Still, in her adult life, she’s just letting her T flag fly, and is radically positive about her autism and queerness alike.

The discussions Tina and Pari get into on their dates are all too relatable for anyone who’s been in queer dating situations. We learn that Tina also identifies as bisexual, and also hasn’t dated another woman before. They both have orange cats, are each part Jewish, and each have food sensitivities — they also both have dead dads, and Tina invites Pari to join the Dead Dads Club on Instagram. Tina says that it’s funny — revealing her darker sense of humor — while Pari straightforwardly asks if it’s a support group. On their second date, they discuss coming out, with Pari saying that when people told her to “repent to Jesus” she just blocked them. It’s a refreshing moment. There’s also an incredible point in time where the two talk about the idea of kissing a girl, and then just laugh nervously while both standing next to each other, neither making a move. I think a lot of us felt that.

While the conversations felt genuine, there were aspects of the show overall, that left a pretty bad taste in my mouth. At one point, Connor, another member of the main cast, says that he wants something he said to be cut out because he’s embarrassed, not having realized what the phrase he was using actually meant. The editors, however, leave the entire sequence in. They do this multiple times. Moments like these felt unkind, and smacked of typical reality show exploitation. Sure, one could argue that the goal is to show authenticity, but consent for participation becomes dubious when someone with a disability that affects communication and understanding of non-literal phrasing asks for an accommodation (to cut something out, or to re-film the walk-in), and that accommodation is blithely ignored, and instead the entire clip makes the final edit. There’s also the fact that no one was introduced as late in the season as the queer woman, once again. It feels oppressive to sit through straight, and often very overtly Christian cast members, for multiple episodes before we get to someone like Pari (or Journey from last season). In 2025, this just feels even more inexcusable.

Still, Pari and Tina do get their happy ending. Their second date is a magical walk through a garden, where they spot a wedding party taking photos. While sitting on a giant Adirondack chair, the two kiss, sharing their first kiss with another woman together. What’s more — Tina shares that she avoided eating gluten all day because she didn’t want Pari to have an allergic reaction, likening Pari’s celiac to a peanut allergy and confessing that she didn’t quite understand what may be necessary. It was one of the sweetest moments of the entire season (and yes, I’m biased, and yes it did affect me more than the “you’re the milk to my chardonnay” song which was also heart-melting).

The recap at the end of the season shows the two together, riding the MBTA with the rest of the railfans, and kissing on the train as it goes over the river — a dream of Pari’s. Before her first date with Tina, Pari says she hopes she meets her Princess Charming, and indeed, now, Pari calls Tina her T-Princess. Pari recently shared a 2024 recap on her Instagram, with a whole gallery of photos of the pair riding the MBTA together. The two take inspiration from each other, and seem to have grown through their relationship. In an April 8 Instagram post, Tina says that she can be “unapologetically Autistic” as Pari described herself in episode 4. Tina writes, “My mom’s reaction to me with Pari for the first time was ‘Did you become more autistic?’ I told Pari and we had a good laugh about it. Yep I have but what’s good in masking all the time,” and Tina follows that by saying “I love Pari. She makes me a better person.”

The conversations these two had about autism, masking, queerness, and their choices to be themselves in spite of pushback were some of the most poignant in the show to me. The two brought a depth to this season — and a love of trains — that made it worth it to sit through all the straight people.

Love on the Spectrum season three is now on Netflix.

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