Lindsay Lohan’s Dad Sells His Soul/Voice Mail to the Devil via Radar Online

Lindsay Lohan 2LINDSAY LOHAN: Lindsay Lohan consistently lives through things we might describe as “our worst nightmare.” The public breakup of her first real lesbian love, the drunken tweets, the embarrassingly dissolving career, the orange spray-tan, the family dirty laundry airing, the excessive nipple slips, rumors about a new boyfriend every day when she’s trying to get her girlfriend back, a Dad somehow getting a soapbox to stand on despite overwhelming evidence that he never does anything, EVER, for the right reasons … why are we so attracted to the voice of controversy, even when we know it’s coming from an unreliable witness?

For example, this week her Daddy-o has released a voice mail from Lindsay to Radar Online. I wonder how much money he bagged for that sale. In the voice mail, she cries that no one respects her and that it’s never about her, and that people say they care about her but they really don’t.

It’s really meta.

Lindsay’s father has been publicly saying that she needs help and is in a fragile state. He released this tape in an attempt to prove his point and to disprove those around Lindsay who are saying she’s fine.”

Does anyone remember when RADAR was a kickass subversive magazine like SPY and then it folded and instead turned into some second-rate gossip mag? Just me? Okay. deathofprint.

Despite this, last night it wasn’t about Lindsay, it was about Maine and New Jersey and Lindsay was tweeting about “the film Desperato — spelled the way I like.” So you know, there’s that.

TEGAN & SARA: AfterEllen interviews Sara Quin!

SARAH HASKINS: New York Post interviews Sarah Haskins from Target Women in Net Girl Takes on Ad Men.

LADY GAGA: Lady Gaga is designing Clothes and doing a new ad campaign for MAC with Cyndi Lauper.

KATE IS GREAT: Kate Winslet Wins One For Everyone: Winslet sued the tabloid for publishing false info about her diet & exercise routine, and she won! “I strongly believe that women should be encouraged to accept themselves as they are, so to suggest that I was lying was an unacceptable accusation of hypocrisy,”” (@people)

OUR BOYFRIEND & GIRLFRIEND: Adam Lambert & Shannyn Sossamon attended the premiere of 2012 last night. So did a lot of other people, but those are our favorites.

adam-lambert-2012

shannyn

WE LOVE THE 90S: Top 20 90s Fashion Icons! Big up to Rayanne Graf and Emily Valentine. (@buzzfeed)

GOSSIP GIRL: Parents Television Council Hates Threesomes and Gossip Girl: “Television is profoundly influential in the lives of children, especially when it comes to sexual decision making – it has even been described by one researcher as a “sexual super-peer” – signifying television’s power to amplify, many times over, the peer-pressure teens are already feeling to engage in high-risk sexual behaviors.” (@ew)

SESAME STREET: Sesame Street is 40!: “…even the most brilliant of those early episodes would not pass through the Political Correctness barrier today.” (@the guardian) Also, New York Magazine has an awesome look back at Sesame Street over the years, including info about locations in the city that inspired the show and where it was filmed.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

Riese

Riese is the 43-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3279 articles for us.

16 Comments

  1. My love for Lindsay is waning. :(

    “Net girl”? I think it’s weird they say girl when Sarah Haskins’ web series is called Targeting WOMEN. But it does make her sound like a super hero, which is appropriate.

  2. I don’t let the television teach my kids about sex. I do it myself. Maybe if the right wingers weren’t so afraid of sex, they could be the ones providing their children with healthy messages about sexuality. Just a thought.

    • yeah if they’re learning more about sex from the teevee than they are at school or at home, i imagine that could be confusing. i mean, basically they don’t want anyone to ever talk about sex, ever. i can only conclude this must be ’cause they’re not having any.

    • yeah thats definitely the best thing to do. my parents never talked to me about sex, like literally never. If i hadn’t excellent sex education at school I would have been woefully unprepared. I had ‘the talk’ with my little sister because i knew noone else was going to, and didn’t want her getting wrong info/pressure or whatevs from tv and being unsafe. Plus never talking about it with your kids or only disapprovingly is not good for their attitude towards relationships as a whole.

      Also really like how they say in the letter they will be ‘monitoring the episode closely’ – am picturing them sitting watching the ep with clipboards and checklists and tutting the whole time while probs wishing they’d had a threesome with people like serena and blair when they were younger.

      • Regular people act all sorts of crazy when it comes to sex. Right wingers take everything to the ALL CAPS EXTREME so of course they are even more crazy when it comes to sex. If only they could translate that crazy into something nice, like knitting for homeless children or opening a tea house in park slope.

    • I talk about sexuality with my kids (in words/ways that are age-appropriate of course). If people don’t think that kids get curious early, they are completely out of touch. Sexuality should be handled with honesty. I might be crazy but I assume that my kids will have sex someday and, though I don’t like to think about that AT ALL, I’d be naive to pretend otherwise. So, I want them to be safe and healthy about it. Also, an aside, stash your dildos somewhere the kids won’t find them because that conversation takes a LONG time.

  3. I love that Doug Funny’s sister made the top 20 90’s fashion icons. I wish Nickelodeon still showed Doug.
    Also, a new season of Sesame Street starts next week! My 1 1/2 year old daughter has been singing something about “chickens by the door” all week and I finally figured out that it’s from the Feist 1234 sesame street segment.

  4. I want Kate Winslet to be my fairy guardian god angel mother. Kate Winslet is the voice of reason.

  5. w/r/t sex ed, or the lack thereof in some households, I was lucky enough to have a super accepting mom who gave me a vibe for my 16th birthday. now that there’s a sexual super-peer.

    • I actually never talked to my parents about sex, i think i just read a lot of magazines. story of my life.

Comments are closed.