Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board: Join the AS Editors for a Virtual Slumber Party!

Have you heard we’re having a fundraiser? JK of course you have! Thank you for sticking with us through it; we know hearing about it constantly can be monotonous, especially for those of you who have already given, and we’re grateful for your patience and your support. To thank you for being here — and getting us to $25K and now well beyond! — we’re hosting a little slumber party.

All the Autostraddle senior editors are here, coming to you straight from our quarantine to yours with love and possibly a small drink. Also joining us is our A+ and Fundraising Director Nicole, who your last fundraiser allowed us to search for and hire! Ask her about her ghost!

Party Guests (+ You!)

We’re here all night long to hang out with you – we have our soft pants on, scrunchies in our hair, and a bowl of popcorn. We’re ready to chat, answer your questions, dish about your personal life, and play virtual truth or dare. Have questions about how the fundraiser is going? Want advice about how to make your quarantine Lex ad? Want to show us a picture of your pet? (Please say yes.) You can join the urban legends and scary stories thread! What spooked you at sleepovers (or were you the one scaring the other kids? we see you)! It’s been a lonely time, and we’re excited to be able to keep you company.

Want to play Never Have I Ever with us?

Here’s the rules: 1) From 6-7pm PST put one statement about something YOU have never done as a comment on this post. Example: “Never have I ever eaten pizza with anchovies” or “Never have I ever lived with a cat” 2) Come back from 7pm PST through the end of the night. 3) Put 5 fingers up, get a pen and paper, get 5 Pogs, an abacus — whatever your preferred counting method and go through each of the Never Have I Ever comments, first to last. Every time you’ve DONE one of the things, you lose a finger / point / Pog, and when you have no more, you’re OUT. Then, comment on the comment that got ya. Person who gets the farthest gets bragging rights.

How To Post A Photo In The Comments:

Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL” and then…
code it in to your comment like so:

<img src=”//imagelink.jpg” />

If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur. To learn more about posting photos, check out A.E.’s step-by-step guide.

How To Post A Video In The Comments, Too:

Find a video on YouTube, copy the URL, and paste the link on its own separate line in your comment. You no longer need to use the “embed” code!

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

The Editors

The has written 146 articles for us.

532 Comments

  2. hello i have some truth questions, #1 what is the worst way you have ever been broken up with

    • Do you want to play Never Have I Ever?? (Follow rules in post! Now’s the time to submit comments for the game.)

    • She stole my car, emptied my bank account, ran off to Vegas, and got knocked up by the son of one of the shitty Beach Boys before the annulment had gone through

    • 2am text message on a week night. Woke up at 4am and saw it and then had to wait until she woke up in the morning to talk to her.

    • My first girlfriend and I had a pretty unhealthy relationship towards the end. We lived together and had been having fights constantly. I was about to leave to visit family and we were supposed to hang out. She decided last minute to hang out with her new friend/romantic interest instead of me and I started having a panic attack so shut myself in our bedroom. She walked out of the house with a quick sorry and then sent me a text when I was on the plane saying she wanted to break up. Awful family trip needless to say.

      She ended up wanting to get back together as soon as I returned. We did..then broke up and got back together at least a dozen times after.

    • Immediately after my very first kiss, at an xmas party, because her ex had just been released early from the psychiatric hospital and she wanted to go back to him.

  3. i have 80s soft rock playing bc that’s my housecleaning music and it’s saturday and i was CLEANING. thrilled to be done with all that and sitting on my bed with YOU.

    • I’m impressed with the Saturday cleaning! I am just making more of a mess over here with cooking.

      • WHAT DID YOU COOK. i do cooking on sundays and cleaning on saturdays so TOMORROW is when i make the biggest mess that i’ll regret

        • I’m actually just starting! Marinating some chicken thighs and cutting potatoes. I should’ve started a while ago, because I am well into this edible kicking in. But I’m sure all of this will be a super fun process! Seems like you got a good routine going though

        • I was going to share a picture but I don’t know how to do that hahaha It turned out pretty good though!

  4. truth question #2: What is the weirdest thing you’ve panic-bought online since quarantine began

        • it was BACKORDERED if you can even believe (i can) so i’m still waiting and i’ve never pined so hard in my little life

          • I cannot believe that! I am so disappointed on your behalf!

            What will you play whenever it finally comes in?

      • I already have a mini accordion, its really simple just a few keys. I figured out how to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and London Bridge on it. I occasionally pull it out of my trunk and play it just because, I mean WHY NOT! Excited to see what to see what this new adventure will look like for you

    • I bought a thin metal spatula! Because if I was going to be stuck inside I simply could not live without the ability to flip a pancake properly? I have no idea!

      • I also bought a spatula. It was in person though. I was in target, staring at the two spatulas, a plastic one and a silicon one for $2 more, and I was like dammit. I am getting the silicon spatula. Do not regret!!! It’s now my favorite.

        The nice thing is that the spatula will be there for you when you DO want to make pancakes, like tomorrow or another nice weekend day!

    • A new dress for my 17 inch collectable disney doll that was too expensive and really hard to find… I’m weird!

    • i thought about buying some pillowcases but didn’t, because I recognized that it seemed like a quarantine panic-buy

    • LED bulbs for my mom’s terryfing halogen torch lamp that I’ve been fearing will start a fire for years

    • A quilting kit from Bluprint! It’s not strange to me (I’d purchased one of their kits before), but I can see how it would be weird to other people.

    • A record player specifically so that I could also buy The Cure’s “Mixed Up” on vinyl specifically so I could hear the big mix of “Never Enough” again.

      • Welcome to the fold! You should follow @sewqueer and the #sewqueer hashtag on IG! It’s such a great community!

        • awesome, i’ll check them out! i haven’t sewed since i took a cosplay class in undergrad, so I’m stumbling my way through with lots of digital support

          • Honestly there has never been a better time to (re)learn how to sew online! I’m in the advanced beginner/early intermediate stage and every time I google a question I have, there are answers from forums dating back at least a decade. It’s such a relief since I can’t just take a trip to the fabric store and ask someone on staff anytime soon.

          • i have several close friends who sew, including a whole cadre of costume designers, and they’ve all been lovely about my very basic questions! “the thread isn’t doing the thing, what did i do wrong”
            “i need more information, facetime me”

    • Sincerely i was crushed when my wife left me and the kids for no reason, all my effort to get her back wasn’t successful . I had to play the role of a mother and father at the same time, it  wasn’t easy at all for me. So i decided to look for a spiritual help to get her back home. I was so lucky to get in touch with Dr. Joe who helped me to get my wife back in less than 48 hours, i was surprised and  overwhelmed. it was a miracle and only Dr. Joe can do this.Thank you Dr. Joe, for my family and i will  forever be grateful  to you. You need your wife or husband back or you want to do a love spell on anyone you love then hurry now and contact Dr. Joe the great spell caster;  via email:   dr.joespirtualhome@ gmail. com or call and chat him on Whatsapp: +2349048691694

  5. truth #3: Which of your friends / acquaintances are you secretly envious of and why? (you don’t need to say their name you can just say the why part)

    • yeah i’m with becca: everyone who’s quarantining with someone they love who also loves them.

      NORMAL.

    • The ones who will have significant others to reconnect with when all of this is over. I’ve been straddling the line between alone and lonely for a long time, but it’s really been hitting me over the past few weeks.

      • that’s real. for the record, your profile says you’re in DC, and so am I. let’s be friends?

        • Oh cool! What part of the city do you live in (if you don’t mind putting that info out there)?

          • near Chinatown! hbu? i would be down to be virtual friends for now if that’s far from you. feel free to DM me on Twitter! @beccadamante

    • oh wow i was thinking on a general level but yes. i guess the #1 feeling i’ve had for literally an entire month is “ppl who are quarantining with significant others they actually like/love”

      it’s very weird to think about how long a person can exist without touching another person’s body!!!! GUESS WE’LL FIND OUT

      • I’ve been trying for the last few weeks to remember the last person I hugged to no avail. I haven’t even accidentally bumped into or been bumped into by anyone in well over a month now. Not even an accidental brush past someone in the grocery store. It’s so weird.

        • the last person i hugged was my aunt connie when i was leaving ohio to come to california and quarantine on march 13, 2020

      • How ’bout “stuck sleeping in the same bed with the ex who dumped you over a year ago”
        so yeah I”m a little envious of people who are sleeping alone right now TBH

        • @snowfell!! Isn’t it time for her to…quarantine somewhere else? Get a couch?
          If they ever lift those travel bans for Europeans I’ll come over there personally to kick her out. Jeez.

    • I’ve been feeling pantry envy? This morning I was jealous of everyone who has instant coffee and milk in their houses and can jump on the Dalgona coffee bandwagon.

    • As a late high school graduate who was get to go to post secondary, I’ve always been a little envious of some of my friends who went away to university and got that experience.

    • hard core yard envy! i love gardening and planting and spring time and my outlet was going to be the butterfly garden at the school i teach at, but instead i am in my home! with no outdoor space! and a cat who hunts potted plants!

    • I feel like I use incognito most of the time I search a dictionary. Nobody’s looking at my browser history anyway, but if they do I don’t want them to know the slightly uncommon words that I want to double-check that I’m using correctly!

    • Anything I want to consider purchasing off of Amazon because I don’t want their trackers following me around my browser. Same goes for anytime I open Facebook.

    • Slang. I had to look up what simping for someone means and I don’t want the nsa to know I’m out of touch with the youth

    • NY Times when I’m out of free articles (this was before Coronavirus and after I cancelled my subscription because all the dudes writing about the election sounded just like 2015)

    • Not exactly a search but to vote in polls/surveys that limit number of vote to one per person.

    • Flight prices! I read once that airlines see how much you visit their sites and up the prices more each time. 🙃

      Not 100% sure it’s true but I’ll never trust again!

  7. Truth #5: have you ever played Sims 4 on Mac and found that all of the walls and floors kinda always looks blue regardless of the colors you’ve actually painted it or floored it and what time of day it is? If so, how did you fix it?

    • riese, i want you to know that i googled this and read several forum that were not helpful enough to post here

    • Hahaa this has been my quarantine activity number one! I agree the light can go a bit blue in live mode. Sorry I don’t have a clear solution for you, my only suggestion is always pick the warmer/yellower lighting for the room and use wall lights to throw some yellows at your decor. Setting your lamps to be on all day might help if it bothers you 24/7

  8. truth #6: How old were you when you got drunk for the first time and what happened

    (only tell if it’s a fun story we want to have fun)

    • I got drunk my senior year of high school after “a boy broke my heart” (we both grew up to be gay, soooo…)

      Anyway my best friend did the right thing, by which I mean she went downstairs to open up her parents “off limits” liquor cabinet, and we spent the the night in her room drinking a bottle of Bacardi. We got pretty wasted and when her little brother (who was about 14?) complained about the smell, we didn’t believe him. BUT THEN HER MOM CAME HOME!!! And she marched right up to the bedroom!!

      The room must have wreaked from the rum, but she played it real cool. We pretended to be asleep and she stood there until we “woke up” — made us look her in the eye and say goodnight! Then she left us to be embarrassed and alone lol.

      The next morning she made us pancakes. Never said a word.

    • I was 18 years old sitting up late watching Weeds at my dad’s house the summer before college. I had never had a drink before but figured I would “need to know” what it felt like before I left for college a few months later, so I went into the fridge and made a screwdriver with Simply Orange and Grey Goose. It was pretty strong, but I put enough orange juice in it that I couldn’t really taste the vodka. I didn’t realize how drunk I was until I went to stand up to go to bed and realized I was too unstable to walk properly. So I crawled up the stairs on all fours and fell asleep on my bedroom floor.

      • I was 20 and worked as a security guard at a dorm. (It was a great way to get paid to write papers and crochet, and I also lived in the dorm, so commute was minimal.) I had just worked a 3 pm-9 pm shift and had a couple of hours free before a midnight-6 am shift, so I looking forward to napping. On the way back to my room, I ran into a friend who asked, “Have you ever had peppermint schnapps?”

        I had not.

        The minutiae doesn’t really matter, but what does matter is that I was very insistent that I get back to my room by 9:15 so that I got at least 90 minutes of sleep. I think I *only* had two shots, which was a decision I made, and I remember being thrilled that it tasted better than the keg beer of my youth. I got that damn nap, and I emerged from my slumber still slightly drunk, slightly hungover, and definitely ready to die. I might have implanted a false memory of being ensconced in a blanket until my shift ended when the sun came up. Greenly nibbling away at the leftover half of a chicken cheesesteak from the staff fridge was my only comfort.

    • The first time I drank (and the time I was closest to being drunk) I was home for winter break my first year of college and my best friend kissed me. It was nice. Yes, I liked the smell of her chapstick. She’s now happily married to a guy and many years later I married my wife.

    • My parents were sampling a bunch of liquors from my oma’s house, and they might not have realized just how many small tastes they offered to my 16-year-old self. My older sibling and I walked down to the lake in the dark afterwards, and we sure had a grand old time.

    • I think I win this one! I was two years old. Two. My parents had a party the night before and didn’t clean up afterward, and I got up earlier than everyone and wandered around the house finishing off people’s half-empty glasses. My mom woke up to find me standing at the foot of the bed staring at her, swaying gently from side to side, with droopy eyes and a little half-smile on my face.

    • the first time i had adult-sanctioned liquor (not snuck in secret) one of my mother’s more chaotic friends was trying to offload a seven dollar bottle of cherry vodka she’d been given for free at her usual liquor store as a customer appreciation/we can’t sell this gift

      there’s a video of me doing a shot directly from the bottle, making a horrible face, and gagging loudly

    • i don’t quite remember the first time I got drunk (seems about right?) but i went to and threw a lot of parties in high school and I remember throwing a big one at a carpet warehouse, where, after wanting to make sure that I got “my share” of the mike’s hard lemonade/captain morgan’s I had paid for, I was dancing wildly and tried to jump on a giant pile of rolled up carpets that were stacked in giant shelving, but i basically just agitated the shelf and the whole pile rolled out on top of me. so i got stuck at the bottom of a carpet avalanche, from which i had to be rescued. and like, i was pretty everyone saw my thong?

    • I was around 12 and it was drinks of triumph. There were these mean older teenagers (about 16 years old) who lived on my street who used to bully my friend and I . One day I noticed the teenagers stashing a box of heineken beer in an area they used to hangout in so they wouldn’t get caught by their parents. I told my friend about it, and in the end we decided to get back at them and take it. We ended up hiding out near their hangout spot waiting for them to leave. After they left we crept into their hangout spot grabbed the box of heineken that was so big we had to both each carry a side and ran as fast our feet could take us. We celebrated our success like a team winning the championship; shooting beer around like it was champagne. We got not only drunk off of the beer but also the thrill of the win. The teenagers were so pissed when they could not find their beer the next day, and they never discovered it was us. My first time getting drunk is still one of my favourite experiences of getting drunk.

      • CJ this is an awesome story! very sandlot vibes (full disclosure i have never seen this movie all the way through)

    • The first first time was when I was supposed to go out and meet a bunch of friends for an event but I found one of my brother’s bottles of terrible flavored vodka and because I didn’t think about what would happen I stupidly got too buzzed and had to stay home. A girl I had a MAD crush on at the time that I rarely got to see was asking where I was and said she was disappointed that I wasn’t there and I’ll NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THAT MOMENT.

      But the first time I got properly drunk was with a group of queer friends I met online because we all watched Glee, they flew out to LA and we got very drunk in WeHo and it was a beautiful gay time.

    • Sincerely i was crushed when my wife left me and the kids for no reason, all my effort to get her back wasn’t successful . I had to play the role of a mother and father at the same time, it  wasn’t easy at all for me. So i decided to look for a spiritual help to get her back home. I was so lucky to get in touch with Dr. Joe who helped me to get my wife back in less than 48 hours, i was surprised and  overwhelmed. it was a miracle and only Dr. Joe can do this.Thank you Dr. Joe, for my family and i will  forever be grateful  to you. You need your wife or husband back or you want to do a love spell on anyone you love then hurry now and contact Dr. Joe the great spell caster;  via email:   dr.joespirtualhome@ gmail. com or call and chat him on Whatsapp: +2349048691694

  10. hi hello, love the truthing with the post-cleaning 80s soft rock, great vibes! i showered for this and I’m trying to decide what snack to eat, i think it’s gonna be cheese

  11. HELLO everyone I lied in the copy of this post and I am NOT wearing pajamas, I am somehow still wearing my jeans, but I do have some rosé. have y’all kept wearing jeans in quarantine? I saw someone on twitter calling them ‘hard pants’ and have not recovered

    • in all honesty, i’ve worn jeans for formal events like Therapy and Picking Up The Grocery Order (No Contact) and it felt like cosplay

    • babe ilysm but i feel like now that i know you’re wearing jeans in quarantine i will never truly understand you :(

      good news, you don’t have to fully understand your loved ones to love them unconditionally – that’s some FREE CAPRICORN ADVICE from me to all of you!!!!! ;) (extremely important if you’ve ever loved an aquarius, for specific example) (hi laneia)

    • Around the house I’ve just been wearing flopsy, loose sun dresses. Much more comfortable.

    • I’m not sure how I’ll go back to wearing any kind of pant that isn’t a sweatpant tbh

    • I have worn jeans one (1) time in the past four weeks and even that time it felt like a bit of a stretch

    • I’m with you, Rachel. Yes I’ve been wearing jeans in quarantine.

      Not today though! Today I wore a low cut wrap dress that is always at risk of showing, like, my full bra. Because there’s nowhere else I can wear it except in the safety my own nome.

    • i pretty much am only wearing elastic shorts these days, but mad respect for rosé in real pants, rachel, i’m impressed

    • I’ve worn pajama pants so much that I’m now to the novelty Christmas part of the drawer they have robots wearing little scarves and (more importantly) enormous pockets

    • I put on jeans when I have to leave my apartment but most days if I choose to put on pants, I’m wearing pajamas, sweatpants or athletic shorts. The “if” part of “if I choose to put on pants” is key here.

    • I have still worn jeans, but it feels relaxed because some of them were my scruffier or looser-fitting ones on days that I teach (where before I would be wearing only other pants or sharper-looking jeans)…teaching online is weird and not my favorite, but at least I don’t have to worry about students judging my professionalism based on my clothes?

    • I have still been wearing jeans but like the comfier ones or when the situation requires it like yesterday I was woodworking and then jeans are necessary. So I’ve been wearing a mix of jeans, leggings, & sweats/pj pants.

  12. very important comment while riese is on here. when I was out in the real world last month, i found an original copy of the soundtrack from the L word season 1. do you want it?

      • YAY! I haven’t listened yet cause I think it’s the music from the DVDs, which I do not currently own. let me know where I can send it, and once the post office is a safe place, I can mail it to you! (also feel free to DM me your address at @beccadamante)

        • @rndamante if you have a USPS account, you can pay for postage online and schedule a pick up by your mail carrier – no need to go anywhere. you need to know how much it weighs and the dimensions, but an internet search can probably help with any parts you can’t measure yourself.

  13. Hi!!!!
    I just finished eating the last of my homemade pizza, I made cheese and cheese and pineapple. It was pretty amazing, I did get a fever both nights I made my pizzas (less amazing), but it was overall the best thing I’ve done during quarantine.
    I’m in the weird recovery stage of I’m alert enough to need things to do but need to stay in bed and rest. Brainstorming ideas of chill activities to do with very low energy???

    My cat Sweetums has been really cute and cuddly this whole time (as always)

  14. Here is where I would REALLY like to start a thread about the scary stories, urban legends and generally ways we both tried to frighten each other as kids at sleepovers.

    I’ll start with a light one: There was a fad at my school for a hot minute that there was a goat-man in the woods? (which now I am like…you mean Pan?) Anyway! Kids were always like “I saw the goat-man last night. For real!”

    • Nicole I got you, kind of, in that I have a ghost story!

      A ghost haunted this community center theatre where I was doing lights for a radio show (yeah I know) and it made the booth lights flicker. By an hour in I was irked so I took my hands off the board, looked up, and said “at LEAST flicker in time” and guess what

      the ghost started to match the beat of the music. the family friend who ran the theater was v impressed

  15. this is very cute, hi cuties, i’m about to make TWO alison roman recipes and drink some pink wine! might even fuck around and try to get some sleep tonight! LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE <3 <3 <3

      • – sticky roasted carrots with citrus and tahini (i don’t have tahini so am using almond butter with a bit of sesame oil mixed in because i am a VISIONARY)

        – tiny creamy pasta with black pepper and pecorino (there is a WHOLE EGG YOLK THAT GOES ON TOP!!!)

        if i have the energy i am also gonna make her green goddess butter because my fresh herbs are dying and i think this will give them a new shelf life!!!

  16. TRUTH: have you texted an ex. be honest. I won’t judge I think we’re all in a position to understand.

      • I don’t know if I would like them or not. I like tomato juice and vodka, so it seems like it would be a decent match? But I also prefer sweet alcoholic beverages UNLESS it’s a good sour beer, and tomato juice + vodka is definitely not sugary.

        • I like to add a shot of Guinness or even a coffee stout to my Bloody Mary. It’s not exactly sweet but it adds great flavor.

    • A Bloody Mary is like the American equivalent of a Caesar, right? I have had one of those once even I also prefer sweet alcoholic beverages.

  19. Never have I ever drunk alcohol, smoked anything, taken illicit drugs, or been even a little bit high. Just living in this reality without a damn fiter on it, yay

      • YES omigod YES
        I mean, I grew up in the Detroit area, and I freakin love that book.
        It’s very well researched, so the historical bits are very good. And it deals with some tricky gender identity stuff pretty well.

      • I read it and remember feeling at the end like I had accomplished something by reading it, so — yes.

    • Yes, I have read Gone with the Wind one summer in high school. I didn’t realize it was super racist until I was much older. I primarily read it to see how it differed from the movie. (Scarlett had more than 1 kid in the book!) I have no intention of revisiting it anytime soon.

    • wow i have lived in four (4) states in my life (michigan, california, new york, massachusetts) and have read the books for all of them! well i guess i also lived in illinois but when i was a baby for like a few months and i haven’t read that book so i’m just moving past it

      • I’ve read the books for Michigan and Washington, but not Vermont or (ugh) Utah. I kinda lived in VEgas for a while, so yeah I read Nevada’s too. Middlesex is my fave of them all though.

    • yes for all four states I’ve lived in for at least a semester! Holes for Texas being my hands down fave

    • I have in fact read the book for the only state I’ve ever lived in (AZ, The Bean Trees)!

  23. Never have I ever sang an original song in front of another human person. I sure do write plenty of ’em, though.

        • I don’t have a halfway decent mic for recording, so I’d be stuck with good sounding keyboards and really shit vocals. Maybe it’s time for some quarantine panic buying.

          • in this digital house we endorse panic buying! there are plenty of cheap-ish mics that hook into your computer. i recommend checking out audio-technica brand or shure brand though- a little pricier but they make mics for a living

            plus a lot of theirs have dual inputs! usb for home, xlr for performance

  24. Sorry I was late to the slumber party because I was watching Glee. (A thing I probably could have said ten years ago if I was out in high school.)

    NEVER HAVE I EVER……. hooked up with a teacher/professor/TA/tutor.

    • Your Glee Twitter thread has been a huge source of entertainment for me these last few weeks! I’ve even considered rewatching

      • Thank you!! I am now entering into the supposed “bad years” so maybe you’ll soon be deterred from rewatching. haha

      • I just started season four! And I am determined to watch it all no matter what’s in store.

        • amazing! I watched all six seasons when it aired, and definitely cried during the series finale. it was a time.

    • Never have I ever also hooked up with a teacher/prof/TA… but omg I had a massive crush on one of my professors in grad school. She used to make me blush! Lol

      • Oh, Carmen, you KNOW I had crushes on multiple professors! Especially on my freshman lit teacher and my senior French teacher. Oh! And my sophomore art history teacher.

        It was basically a yearly tradition I guess.

      • I mean, I CRUSHED. I just wasn’t successful/they had good boundaries. lol

    • As a TA who has been sexually harassed by one of her students, good, I’m glad to hear it.

    • I also have had so many crushes on teachers, it’s so hot when people are knowledgeable!! I’ve also been a TA who maybe didn’t have the best boundaries, I was in my 20s so…

  25. SonI really love this cover of Maniac, the song in Flashdance when she’s doing her workout in her home studio

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HKmgOTC8NuA

    IDK if it’s too much for normal people

    Oh and if you have Spotify there’s a female cover of Scotty Doesn’t Know by a Maddie Ross I find it very 00’s pop-punk nah-nah boo-boo rather than macho hurr hurr

  27. never have i ever read a wholeass book in record time just so i’d know what a girl was talking about

  28. what was the weirdest thing you did at sleepovers / slumber parties as a kid?

    mine was that we would cry, we called them “crying sessions,” everybody would talk about their trauma and insecurities (usually body or boy related) and we’d cry together. we did it like once a month for an entire year and we were 12.

    half of us turned out to be queer

    ok WHAT DID U DO

      • I have fond memories of one-on-one boy sleepovers, but I feel like the group boy sleepovers just involved a lot of pranks that led to fighting because they were all way more sensitive than they wanted to admit? lol

        • oh god the pranks. I am reminded of the time one kid was forced to try to shove his junk in a tiny party balloon, and I wanted to die from second hand embarrassment
          I often stayed awake all night, just in case

    • I remember we once broke into little groups and did like skits to try to make each other laugh. My group reenacted a scene from Titanic. I was Fabrizio.

    • I must have been 7 or 8, but a friend and I would pull an entire cherry chapstick out of the tube, cut it into pieces, and use it as a topping for vanilla ice cream, which we would eat while watching Shelley Duvall’s Faerie Tale Theatre.

    • Once I went to a sleepover where apparently someone stole some of the host’s mother’s jewelry. The following day, the police called each of the attendees to ask whose fingerprints they would expect to show up on the jewelry box when the results came back. (Not mine.)

    • I convinced my friends to hold seances to try to speak to dead musician crushes. It caught on so each sleepover one of us would pick the person of focus and try to get them to hang.

      • Omg! As a scared little church kid, I used to opt out of seances and ouija board seshes at sleepovers, always saying “Why would I talk to dead people? There’s a room full of live people right here!” hoping someone would ask me more so I could share abt Jesus 🙄😬🙏🏼 Ughhhhhh

    • in elementary school I used to like to like down on the couch, under the cushions, and put the cushions on top me so it looked like a mostly normal lumpy couch, and then wait for girls to sit down and have private discussions that I could eavesdrop on

    • I didn’t go to many sleepovers, but the most memorable one was when the host family’s little dog made his way around the room trying to hump everyone’s leg and so we spent most of our time shrieking and trying to shoo him away

    • One of my friends would take all the tissue paper from presents and make it into outfits and dress me up like a doll. We were in high school lol. And they are now also a lesbian lol.

      • OMG I USED TO DO THIS AT CHRISTMAS PARTIES. Except I would dress myself up in them and put on fashion shows for my relatives.

    • We used to play “sleeping bag wrestling” where two people would put sleeping bags over their heads upside down and try to knock each other over while everyone else stood in a circle around them to push them back to the middle if they got too close to running into something breakable. Very normal.

      • Lolololol we used to take turns zipping a person into the sleeping bag and dragging them around on the floor in circles 😂

  30. Never have I ever had a pet (on my own as an adult).

    Used to foster and train dogs, but have never had the right situation to adopt.

  31. *waltzes in* hey bb’s, just washing off a whole day of cleaning off my bod. SO NICE TO SEE ALL YOU CUTIES!

  32. This is more of a Wide The Fuck Awake at nearly 4am in the UK post than a slumber-even-though-I-should-be post.

      • i made fudge for the first time! and so far two kinds of cake, brownies, and a blueberry cream cheese pie. if i had yeast or patience i would add some breads to that list but alas, here we are

  34. what song always makes you cry and you are kind of embarrassed about it ok i’ll start

    comfortable by john mayer
    and the version of “a moment like this” recorded live at american idol when kelly clarkson had just won

    • ripple by grateful dead bc of “If I knew the way // I would take you home” and it lays me out every single time!!

    • Welp I had a re-listen to Deliver Us from the Prince of Egypt the other day and ended up sobbing because my brain couldn’t stop parallels to the migrants in American concentration camps and various immigration crises around the globe.

      I think the reason it feels embarrassing other than the having a parent who despises crying thing or the stoicism faze thing is how melodramatic and useless the whole episode felt.
      Also the possibility of it happening again is kind of mortifying?

    • I’m not at all embarrassed by it, but I cry to “Molecules” by Hayley Kiyoko at least every 3 months.

    • interestingly “keep on living” by le tigre lmao

      “please hold onto your pride and, don’t let them bring you down and don’t let them fuck you around, cause those are your arms that is your heart and no no they can’t tear you apart, they can’t take it away now. this is your time this is your life and— this is your time this is your life and— this is your time this is your life and — KEEP ON, KEEP ON LIVING”

    • i used to listen to the postal service during all break ups and one time i was at a mall in a pacific sunwear store trying to find a douchey tanktop and I started crying when recycled air came on

    • “I should be suspended from class” camera obscura

      Because it accompanied a scene in “imagine me and you” that I watched soon after a wonderful lover threw me over for another woman.

      Jesus, I cried on and off for months over her / that song.

      I’m a sap

  35. hello my dudes how’s your life going today i stubbed my toe on the doorframe and was so put out at the reminder of my physical existence that i went back to bed and slept for another four hours!

  36. if you have a pet please tell me what they are doing at this precise moment!

    my cat sharktopus is sitting in my lap between me and the laptop aggressively grooming her chest. If i move my arm she WILL headdive off the couch with the force of her bath so i am trapped for eternity

  38. I just got off a social distancing movie night and if anyone has amazon prime I highly recommend watching Troop Zero for some joy and viola davis

  39. Beep Beep!! Tell me all about your MIDDLE SCHOOL CRUSHES!!!

    Celebrity or IRL, and you don’t have to give names, just tell me about the butterflies you felt and why 🦋

    • Mine was a friend who was a year older. She was super smart and pretty and always so kind and supportive towards me. I didn’t even realize it was a crush until she’d already gone to high school but looking back I’m it was.

    • Carmen! I could not get my crushes under control in middle school. I feel like it was just everyone at some point. The worst one? This hardcore conservative Christian girl who just would rail and rail about how being gay was wrong and I was just like: “I love her hair.”

    • middle school i was too repressed and nerdy to admit i had feelings about anything or anyone BUT early high school the drill captain for one of the sections of marching band held the key to my heart

      something about seeing this weedy girl in a polyester uniform loading instruments half her weight into a truck was very formative

    • My middle school crush is MARRIED NOW. Which is a totally reasonable thing for a straight 25 year old to be (yes, yes, straight and slightly younger v off-brand) but I still can’t wrap my head around knowing ALI GOLDRICH IS MARRIED.

      She was in the girl group that was friends with my boy group and she was just the cutest and coolest and loved her so much. The girl group would always wrap each other’s lockers on their birthdays and get each other tiaras and I made a “joke” that I wished someone would wrap my locker and get me a tiara. AND THEN SHE DID. V sweet trans memory looking back.

      I didn’t tell her how I felt all through middle school because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but then I found out years later that she’d had a crush on me the whole time too!

      And now she’s… married!

    • Her green eyes, olive skin and long limbs reminded me of woodlands of what I thought Artemis should be like.
      A maiden swift and lithe as deer with a clear gaze that makes your heart beat faster.

      • Oh that’s right Nicole, you don’t know me that well yet, I talk about it all the time but it was ANGELINA JOLIE!!

        I don’t think i had any irl crushes in middle school, I was very very busy shoving all my gayness back deep inside.

        But Angelina was the first time I remember feeling something, going “whoa buddy NOT THAT” and then quickly loved to hide it while also obsessing about her every chance I got.

      • In high school I had a MASSIVE CRUSH on the girl who sat across from me in AP Government. She has the prettiest curly hair, and her older sister was gay so she talked big game about being “an ally” and she wore a metal choker made out of pop can tabs with our catholic school girl uniform… she also wore it with doc martens. I was forever in love.

        • Your high school crush was an actual fictional character and I’m obsessed.

        • I would have totally also crushed on this girl when in middle school (but like duh because i liked everyone, but she seems especially cool).

        • My biggest (just out of) middle school crush was also a girl with the prettiest curly hair!

          She was a senior, I was a freshman, she was the lead in the school musical and had the most beautiful voice. We also walked in the same direction from 4th to 5th periods and I would always find myself walking behind her admiring her beautiful hair.

          The greatest moment of my 14 year old life was when she noticed my Wicked hoodie I got from seeing it in New York (this was 2004/2005 so it was VERY COOL for California kid me to have this) and brought her other theater kid friends over to admire it.

          I never saw her after that year and have since failed to find her on the internet but I hope she’s happy whatever she’s doing now.

    • DEVON SAWA – Ana he responded to me on Twitter a year ago and to this day it’s my fav and only celeb Interaction.

      Also Harley Quinn (a love for unhinged girls) topanga (my actual root) and Armando West from my elementary school who blocked me on AIM

    • Carmen, one of my middle school crushes was my 8th grade English teacher. She was fresh out of college and I loved her with the intensity of a thousand suns, as teenagers are wont to do.

      Imagine my surprise when she (now married and close to retirement) showed up on my nephew’s 6th grade class schedule…AND (!!) she still remembered me.

    • Annie Lennox was my first crush and fashion icon in the 80s, and I used to imagine that I was in her band and I was her “special friend,’ in that we had a closeness that went beyond normal friendship. (I was like five.) When she released her first solo record, Diva, I was just going into middle school and was at an age where I could begin to really appreciate her music videos that were on constant rotation on MTV, and an interview with her was the first time I heard about feminism.

      Honestly, yesterday I fell down an Annie Lennox rabbit hole and binged a bunch of videos, and the crush is real and I still want to be in her band.

  40. Truth question: What was your first queer lady ship in tv or movies? Pretty sure mine was Fiona and Imogen from Degrassi.

      • Which is pretty well trodden, but for a reason.

        OH wait, def Xena and Gabrielle. Their dynamic made me gay.

    • Big throwback to Maggie and Bianca from All My Children. I did not then nor do I now follow any soaps but it was one of the first ships YouTube’s algorithm led baby gay me to back in the mid aughts and I fell down that rabbit hole HARD.

  41. Does anyone have new quarantine crushes? People you’ve met on dating apps, friends you’re seeing in a new light now that you’ve zoomed together, etc. etc. etc.

    • i just matched with a girl on Her and half an hour into messaging we found out that her high school and my college had the same mascot and invented a cocktail based on that mascot so crush confirmed

        • the fighting quaker! the drink is a quaker nipple, which is rum, irish cream, and cherries.

          • yes! it was like a whole tongue in cheek thing, at least at my college. our fight song had the words “fight fight inner light/kill quakers kill!/knock ’em dead, beat ’em senseless/do it til we reach consensus” which is still THE funniest fight song i know

    • I started hanging out with someone new right before the world shut down! It really sucks!

      • What kind of nervous? Like oh no I like you too much nervous? Or I get scared when talking to hot people nervous? Or just like generally a nervous person? haha

        • I think it’s the first one and a blend of the 2nd! Usually I like lean into that because it’s my thing I Love a nervous girl but I DON’T WANNA SCARE THIS ONE OFF so I’m trying to play it cool but I just wanna send her DMs like all the time lol

    • I had a tentative second date planned with a really cute girl right before the world shut down. We were going to get dinner but then she caught the flu and by the time we started texting again, our city was already in a state of emergency.

    • I’ve tried kind of getting to know people from Lex via texting. So far keeps reaching a point where one or both of us just kind of stop having things to say I guess. I know a crush would be a bit awful rn, but i kind of want those feelings so I stop thinking about getting dumped 2 months ago.

      • Yeah it’s really hard to sustain small talk when nothing in person can happen for awhile. One thing I did was ask the person I was liking most to play a game where we just switched off asking question to each other. Some deep, some silly. It just created a way to get to know someone on a more interesting level even though we can’t meet up.

  43. Random question for The Editors/The Powers that Be: Will the Friday Open Thread ever come back? That was something I looked forward to every week, but I don’t think there’s been one since late last summer.

    • @aj-velasquez hi! we are PROBABLY not going to bring the friday open thread back (never say never) but we have started doing FRIDAY PIZZA PARTIES where folks are welcome to chat in a similar fashion! i have also noticed the comment award comment section has gotten a little chattier since the friday open threads went away.

      <3 <3 <3

  44. Any body got stupid human tricks they wanna brag about/ confess to?

    I’m hyper mobile, I don’t actually understand normal range of human motion.
    My heel can touch the top of my head, my thumb can be bent to my arm. I can pick clothes with my feet and toss them with some degree of accuracy.

  47. Good night, sweet princesses,
    And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest

    As I go now to mine

    Stay safe out there

  48. all right where are the rest of the nocturnal gremlins with no sleep schedule! tell me your favorite thing you’ve done in quarantine/pandemic/shelter in place/etc!

    my college theatre friends and i are doing weekly zoom reads of shakespeare. next week is twelfth night and i am v excited for my disaster butch viola!

    also i impulsively dyed a lot of my hair neon green

    • Ooh how fun!!! Love the idea of a zoom read! Um funnest thing done so far would be… tie between cutting my wife’s hair last weekend and inventorying all our cupboards, fridge, and freezer. 😂

      • cutting someone’s hair is a recognized queer love language so A+ job!

        and honestly i love a good inventory. i won’t get a label maker because i know i’ll go overboard, so all my shelves and boxes have sticky note or tape labels instead

    • Had a remote group watch of Portrait of a Lady on Fire with my group chat

      Did an exchange by mail of cute/fun/surprise items with a friend I was supposed to meet up with

      Made an anniversary treasure hunt around the house for my wife, complete with cryptic clues

      Have been overall sleeping better than usual because we don’t have to get up so early

      (This was a helpful exercise in lifting my mood, thank you!)

      • anniversary treasure hunt! adorable!

        i’ve had to come up with lots of ‘put a positive spin on this’ questions because half the people i know are under the age of ten (preschool teacher) and they need some love rn

    • Oh man twelfth night is my favourite Shakespeare play. It is the only Shakespeare play that I have ever laughed out loud while watching. My favourite thing I have done so far during quarantine was buying and eating whole pack of multi flavoured donuts. I have always wanted to do that and thought quarantine was the perfect time to do it. Carpe diem.

      • live your dreams!

        this is a group that managed to turn rehearsals for the scottish play into high comedy so i’m very much looking forward to the levity of next week. this week we did hamlet which was less cheerful

        • As someone who dealt with hella technical issues with the Scottish play live, anything similar in Zoom?

        • when we did mackers it was live! but yes, plenty of technical issues to go around.

          it took us a while to figure out the right video platform, but we finally caved and did zoom since half the group are students using it for classes is still. the biggest issue is laggy sound, so sometimes we just have really. long. pauses. between lines

    • I often go through a list in my head of all the good that’s occurring while staying home! I’ve foraged salads from my yard of violets, dandelion greens, and henbit. I’ve gardened with my kids and we got baby chicks! I’ve gone hiking with my kids and we found tadpoles.

      And the best is that we’re going to get to adopt two of our kids! I’ve always wanted to be a parent, and my greatest wish in life is finally coming true of being a forever parent!

      • I have so many visceral memories of staring at the VCR clock… waiting for everyone else to wake up 😂

    • Good morning!
      I just walked in on a wood dove on my balcony.
      I’ve been feeding the birds since winter and put out all of the rest of the sunflower seeds to get sunflowers a few weeks ago, and now everyone, the sparrows and the dove, is absolutely appalled and shocked when I dare set a foot out onto the balcony that I pay rent for, mind you.
      Something tells me that I will probably loose all rights to said outdoor seating area when someone starts nesting there.
      Hope you guys have enough coffee!

      • @amidola I’m glad you have birds to watch on your balcony! You’ve been in my thoughts with your work as a doctor during this crazy time! Best wishes and take care.

        • Thank you @shewasnice!
          It’s all just been very..emotional.
          I don’t think most people realize what the lack of PPE means in reality.
          It‘s like sending us out into Verdun in a bathing suit and a party hat, with a clap on the shoulder for „working on the front lines“.
          So, let’s face mortality without being able to hug anyone or have a good old face to face talk with a friend.
          My twitter timeline is made up of people trading things on animal crossing and residents mourning their classmates. It’s very surreal. Especially what’s going on in the US. It’s like watching a disaster movie parody, with the president joking about banging models as he talks about death predictions. Absolutely surreal.
          I mean, everyone talks about numbers and absolutely everyone has an opinion on those numbers, but I have patients that I am just very scared for, whose loved ones I talk to on the phone, people who are old and hurting, who hold my hand and speak in scared whispers.
          In the meantime, with the lockdown having gone on for many weeks, all of the lost people keep washing up in my ER, especially at night.
          The drunk homeless no one gives money to anymore, those with the cancer symptoms they didn’t dare get checked out for weeks, the scared, the depressed, those with a beginning psychosis..and the young women.
          I mean, I‘m an internist, I haven’t been trained for this „expected rise in domestic violence“ and with the rest of the chaos all around it‘s really hard to pull myself together and quietly ask whether everything’s ok and then patiently wait for an answer. I’m an old ICU doc, I‘m used to a lot of bad things, but this kind of crap really gets to me. The ER is the one point of intervention most people have and if I don’t find the right words, they go back to that hell they can’t find a way out of by themselves.
          But no one gave me those words.
          I was just on the phone with my trauma friend, who was stalked by her ex a couple of years ago and managed to get a woman to call the police on her boyfriend tonight.
          She cried in the on call room for an hour after that.
          My friend the trauma surgeon who doesn’t bat an eye when someone has been run over by a car.
          It’s just really hard.
          But, amazingly, there’s been a lot of good, too. Everything’s a lot quieter, friends whom I haven’t seen nearly enough in the past years have popped back up with a message or a phone call and I have a lot more time for the little things, like feeding the birds (with restaurants and cafés closed they‘re pretty much moving in by now) writing cards and sending gifts to friends, cooking food, going running, that sort of thing. I‘m also interested to see how the world will be after this. Lots of Airbnb’s are closing down and freeing up inner city living spaces, there are a lot more bike lanes in my city to accommodate social distance commuting, there’s a lot less travel and a lot less social pressure to do so, I really hope this will be the reset button we needed.
          I hope you’re well and hanging in there!
          Take care!
          xoxo

          • @amidola, thank you for sharing more about your reality! I’m trying to do my part by staying home, working from home, keeping my kids home. I cannot imagine the surreal world of going to work in an emergency room. I appreciate hearing your stories, and knowing that you are out in the world doing your best to be a listening ear and a hand to hold. Providing physical and other resources to the best of your ability.

            I’m a foster parent with a house full of kids (who for the most part are doing impressively well), and I worry about those people in unsafe homes, with limited resources. I do hope that our world as a whole takes some time to think about how to take care of others and of our world. We got baby chicks and are doing more gardening and less comsuming.

  51. I’m sad I missed this, but me and my girlfriend smuggled my Christmas tree into the park and planted it among its cousins, and then smoked a joint and watched the satellites zoom past the constellations, and we saw a hedgehog, so I had a pretty good time too :)

  52. This was really cute and fun. As a woman who has only transitioned in middle age, I never got to have a sleepover like this when I was a kid. So I just wanted to say thank you to the editors and everyone. Love you all! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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