When the Spatula Squad’s train gets to Union Station, Maude gets a telegram from her boyfriend, and Spooner can feel her physical discomfort, despite Maude hiding it well. Maude tells them she has a new club to perform in, and that the next train to New York doesn’t leave until tomorrow anyway, so they might as well join her.

I like that Spooner’s powers are growing from mind reading to full empath status. Especially considering how long she actively put up physical and metaphorical walls.

While plotting and planning her fundraiser, Zari is trying to think of a good hook for a last-minute party when suddenly she remembers she’s traveling with literal headliners: the Bullet Blondes. So she has everyone spread the word that the Bullet Blondes will be performing at the newest Speakeasy in town.

This is neither here nor there but I’ve been to some speakeasies in New York and I am delighted by the fronts EVERY TIME. Phone booth, coffee shop, abandoned toy store. So fun! (When it’s for fun and not for safety.)

When Maude gets to the club that was formerly Eddie’s, her boyfriend is furious that she fired her manager, because he’s the boss of her. He’s rude and abusive and when he ogles Gideon, Astra moves to stand in front of her newest friend. This man has a terrible attitude and terrible hair and he calls legs “getaway sticks” which Astra recognizes from a scumbag she met in hell who she tortured with spiders.

Maude listens to her boyfriend and gets up to sing, and gosh is she good at it. Astra wants to help her, but Spooner doesn’t think they have time. She thinks Maude knows what she’s gotten into and can leave whenever she wants, but Astra knows better. She knows that what Maude is doing is surviving, not living, and that she deserves better. To prove her point, she asks Gideon what happens to Maude if they don’t intervene.

“Spooner your Texas is showing.”

And it turns out Astra was even more right than she wanted to be, because Maude eventually gets murdered, though no charges are ever brought against her boyfriend because of his mob ties. And Astra isn’t about to just let this woman die.

Zari rushes around planning her party, really in her element, and reassuring Eddie that everything will be absolutely perfect because no Legends plan is ever foiled by a misplaced historical figure or inhuman creature with a vengeance.

Everything’s gonna be fine, fine, fine.

At the Speakeasy, Astra begs Maude to leave with her, but Maude puts on a brave face and pretends she’s fine. Spooner can feel it though, how Maude’s stomach turns when she thinks of him, how terrified she is of him. They promise here there’s more to life than this. She’s almost convinced but she’s worried about the other girls in the band; Astra promises she’ll take care of them, so Maude just has one job: run.

Astra thanks Spooner for listening to her in the end, and smiles down at her lil gal pal.

The answer to your question is no, I will absolutely never stop talking about how much I love their height difference.

They’re not sure what to do next, but before they can even consider their options, Gideon is on stage in Maude’s mask and singing a beautiful song called Future Favorite which is absolutely an Avalance love song and I adore it..

Actual lyrics: “She’s my future favorite. My love, no denying it. So very dizzy for this dame.”

In the mansion, Zari is feeling like she forgot something when she realized she forgot to do her hair and change her outfit. Eddie tells her to relax and just enjoy the moment; live in the now. So she puts her phone down and does just that.

Also Zari, you look literally perfect always so you’re always ready to party.

Eddie pulls her toward the dance floor, and then it’s time for the big show: The Bullet Blondes. I truly do not know how Zari convinced her captains to do this without any pushback, but Sara and Ava come downstairs in flashy white flapper costumes and start doing an adorable synchronized dance, all while we still get to hear Gideon singing about how in love they are.

This dance was 50% limbs, 30% fringe, 20% hair, and 100% delightful.

Robot Hoover shows up but the Legends manage to work taking him down into the dance routine, using flying silks to tie him up and strategic knife throwing to hold him down.

As the grand finale, Sara and Ava dance into each other’s arms and kiss as the music swells!

“My dear, I’m so in love with you. Hotsy-totsy dancer on the floor.”

Which the Legends applaud…but the crowd falls silent.

“Sisters?” “We’re close.”

That is, until Ava tells them that they’re not sisters. Then the audience cheers again and they go in for more kissing.

“What if we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine. Nothing could keep us apart. You’d be the one I was meant to find.”

At the other Speakeasy, the Spatula Squad face the bad boyfriend, using their combined intimidation skills and just a touch of spider magic, they convince him to get the hell out of dodge. And one really cute thing that happened is Astra, who just last week was treating Gideon like a computer, has come to respect her so much that she, for the second time this episode, puts her body between her small humans and the threat at hand. Which was probably for the best because Gideon has tiny dog energy re: knowing what is and is not a threat to her at her size.

This courage, this fearlessness…the Legends taught her that.

Suzie tells them that to celebrate they should go to the Bullet Blondes performance down the street, and the trio loves that idea so much they start SPRINTING. Unfortunately, by the time they get to the wig shop, all they find is a real storage closet with Fancy Zari’s phone inside. Missed them by a hair.

After Fancy Zari gives Eddie the money to start a new club, the Legends head back into the mansion, for some reason leaving only Gary out in the real world, in charge of the key like Horton and his clover with Whoville on it. I imagine the reason has to be that Nate has been seen around impersonating Hoover but all in all this feels like a supremely bad idea. Kid couldn’t even keep track of his own nipple.

In the mansion, Sara and Ava tell Fancy Zari that she has a few more hours of being in charge, but as much as she’d love to boss everyone around just for the fun of it, she knows that they need someone with a particular set of skills, so she swaps places in the Air Totem with Flannel Zari.

Flannel Zari is surprised to be popped out, and even more surprised to see a man tied up at the table, but is ready to help.

I’m excited for Flannel Zari (AND HER ADORABLE OVERALLS?) to have more to do than be Nate’s girlfriend this time around.

:Stefon voice: This! Episode! Had! Everything! Social commentary, teamwork, period costumes, singing, both Zaris, sweet lady kisses. The only part I really didn’t care about were Nate and Gary’s conversations about the Zaris and Nate’s relationship feelings, but I also didn’t hate those scenes. The overall vibe just feels so vastly improved without Constantine and Rory around, and as much as I can’t wait for the Bullet Blonde Gang and the Spatula Squad to reunite, I think this has been such a great way to get to know Astra, Spooner, and Human Gideon better without needing to give each of them a Very Special Episode. This show continues to be a light in the dark, and they seem really smart about what they pivot toward and away from to make every batch of episodes better than the last, and I love them for it.

Next week, an old face in a new character, plus, SCIENCE!

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