It’s not the answer she wanted, so she excuses herself from the room, and breaks down in the hallway. She tugs at the turtleneck that suddenly feels like a prison, she presses her hand against her chest and feels her heart beating too fast, her lungs gasping for air. How much of her is real?

:Dawn Summers voice: Am I real? Am I anything?

Sara finds Ava to try to compliment her on her work and tell her that Bishop is 100% human, but she notices that Ava is going through it. Ava pulls herself together and says that she thinks Bishop does genuinely want to get to know them, that he does consider them family since he has no one else. She says not everyone has a family in a way that sounds like she understands what that feels like too well.

“Momma never told me how to love, Daddy never told me how to feel. Momma never told me how to touch, Daddy never showed me how to heal.”

Zari goes to see Constantine, plays him a little, tells him to go get cleaned up, but as soon as he does, she swipes his flask and takes it back to Astra so she can identify it. Astra says the liquid inside is blood. It’s called the Scarlet Lady and it’s volatile, dark magic. And if he’s not careful, it will kill him.

Constantine, realizing his flask is gone, storms onto the Waverider and starts yelling at the women.

Honestly I’m not surprised Zari didn’t notice he was changing; he’s always been a dick. No one is even surprised he’s yelling at these women for literally no reason.

Zari tells him to choose between her and the blood and at first he grabs the flask without any hesitation, but when he thinks better of it and throws it away and promises he’ll quit, she softens and offers to help. She apparently has never heard that getting clean for another person never sticks; they have to want to get clean for themselves.

Sara apologizes to Ava about putting her through that conversation with Bishop, but Ava says it was her idea. Sara also apologizes for pushing the wedding stuff, she genuinely thought that’s what Ava wanted; but Ava thought she wanted that, too. It was distracting, it was a tangible thing she could focus on. Thinking about the wedding was easy; thinking about marriage was harder. She didn’t have any real examples of a happy marriage, since her parents were hired actors she never even saw kiss. She never had anyone love her like Sara does, she never had a family before, and she’s afraid it’s too late for her to learn.

Hey fun fact, Ava, your parents don’t have to be hired actors to be bad at setting examples of how to love and be loved.

Sara is baffled by this thinking. She reassures Ava that she doesn’t have to learn how to love, she knows love. She IS love. She almost burnt the whole timeline down to get Sara back. Sara puts her hand on Ava’s heart and says that Ava made herself into who she is. It doesn’t matter how she was made, she made herself into who she is now. She’s the most intelligent, fun, loving person Sara has ever met.

“Well, I hope you know how proud I am you were created.”

Ava says, “I love you,” realizing it’s the truest thing she knows, realizing Sara’s right. She pulls her fiancée into a tight hug.

Sara asks to see the updated wedding plans and loves everything Ava chose; as Sara points out her favorite parts and Ava realizes they were all suggestions Bishop made, Ava double-checks with Gideon what she feared to be true: Bishop’s missing 6% was filled with Sara’s DNA.

He took a DNA test, turns out he’s only 6% that bitch after all.

And so, when Bishop says the code, Gideon recognizes him as one of her captains and releases him from his hex cage.

Gary had told Mick that he would give birth through his ears, and his labor would last about two weeks, but things seem to be progressing much faster than that. Bishop starts locking down hallways as he stalks his way toward the med bay, but Sara intervenes and is ready to fight him.

“It’s a fighting pose. You are such a poser.”

The problem is, she’s fighting someone who knows all her moves. He tries to talk to her about destiny but he’s barking up the wrong paragon so she’s not listening. But he gets his hands on a laser gun and shoots her and makes his way to the med bay.

By the time Sara heals up and gets to the med bay though, she’s locked out.

Bishop starts making a meal out of delivering the babies, and ends up having to deliver them through Mick’s nose, which is 100x worse, in my personal opinion.

The Legends get Spooner and her big ass gun to help.

I bet Spooner was very sad she didn’t get to laser beam that bad boi open.

But before they can break down the door, it opens, and Bishop pushes out an incubator with little alien pods in it.

Sara ruefully thanks Bishop for his help, and he kindly offers to go back to his cell. As the captains lock him back up, he apologizes…sort of. He says he forgot what it meant to be a friend and is willing to work to earn back their trust. The captains are rightfully wary.

Shout out to director Nico Sachse for putting so many great shots of ladies in frame together into this episode.

And though it will take them a little longer to realize it, we see him go back on his word immediately, as he grins at the comm he stole from Mick.

Fancy Zari goes to confront Constantine, tells him why he liked him, explains how it has nothing to do with his magic.

Bless Tala Ashe for being like, “Shove me in a mediocre storyline all you want, I’m going to deliver an Emmy-worthy performance anyway.”

But he’s lied to her so much; she wants to support him but it’s hard to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. As she leaves him to consider this, Bishop talks to Constantine through his newly acquired comm, and offers to help Constantine get his magic back. Constantine throws the comm away but then Beast Constantine shows up and starts to fight himself. My notes for this scene read, “He fights himself. I just don’t care.” And it’s true. I’m hoping this is all ramping up to him leaving the team for good, but even if it is, it’s infuriating. As I’ve said before, the whole charm of this show is the true ensemble nature of it, and how it USUALLY centers the women with the guys just being comedic sidekicks. But Constantine’s whole deal is too dark for the vibe of the show and too independent of everyone else’s story. He always resisted being part of the team, so his personal struggles simply aren’t interesting to me and I’m furious that Fancy Zari is wrapped up in it.

Back on the ship, Sara is drinking more of the baby smoothies and Gary smells it and realizes it’s why Mick gave birth so fast. Sara is immediately suspicious of why Bishop would have induced labor, and they quickly put together that he stole a comm.

I’m not really sure what they’re going to do with him since they don’t have the cells at the Time Bureau anymore…Maybe they can take him to Gotham and send him to Arkham? Say hi to Ryan?

And apparently Beast Constantine won the fight I stopped paying attention to, because the episode ends with an even smarmier than usual Constantine reaching out out to Bishop, willing to accept his help.

I can’t believe we’re almost out of episodes for the season! I feel like it went by so fast. Hopefully we get a successful marriage by the end of it, even if the wedding doesn’t exactly go off without a hitch. Next week, Maisie Richardson-Sellers (aka CHARLIE) directs! See you then.

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