Previously on Legends of Tomorrow, Sara got blasted by a god and went physically blind but gained foresight, Sara used said foresight to win a beer pong contest to earn the Legends a sip from a chalice that made them immortal for 24 hours so they could use the Loom of Fate, and Astra was taken against her will by Lachesis.

We open approximately 15 minutes after the Legends sipped from the Chalice of Dionysus, and Ava starts to rally the troops. They have 23 hours and 45 minutes as gods to get back to the Loom and get cooking.

But when Ava opens the door, the portal is gone and they’re in actual England. Sara asks where Astra is, and we find out that Astra is on the ship with the other two fates.

Finally gets everyone to trust her, immediately is forced to do something that makes her seem shady. Cannot catch a break.

Meanwhile, Gary has poofed back to the ship to get some healthy noms for Gary Jr. II, but Gideon isn’t responding to his request. She makes a last yelp, saying she’s been compromised, before she’s shut down.

Constantine doesn’t think Astra would steal their ship, and Charlie is worried it was her sisters that forced Astra’s hand. Everyone is freaking out and Sara tries to call Gideon, but gets no response.

“Major Tom to ground control.”

Ava grabs Sara’s hand and she clearly gets a vision but lies about it, saying the chalice is messing with her powers.

“Based on what I just saw, I…need to cover more skin.”

Ava has a plan, and says there’s a Time Bureau safe house in London that will have a time courier they can use, so Sara gives a rousing speech about how they’re (mostly) superheroes for a day, they can face any obstacle! But, as it turns out, none of these superheroes can fly. So just like a certain kryptonian and billionaire had to earlier this week, this band of Legends has to wait for the bus.

Sherlock Holmes and the Mystery of Why Constantine is Still Here

A bus rolls up and they hail it but they don’t have any money. Sara tries to talk their way on but he needs a fare. So Mick throws him out unceremoniously. Ava apologizes to him but they really have to go.

Lachesis and Atropos tell Astra that she has to use the Loom with them. Astra has some demands; she wants to get rid of prunes, make dogs puppies forever, and bring her mother back to life. Lachesis sends Atropos after the Legends while she tries to reason with Astra.

I appreciate Astra’s dedication to wearing hell red.

On the bus, Sara asks Ava to run point on the mission. Sara tries to claim it’s because she can’t see the future, and says Ava is who the team needs right now, and Ava reluctantly agrees but says they’re co-captains for life.

“But like, for a LONG life. A lifetime.”

Then they do their classic pinky swear, even though there’s still something brewing behind those sunglasses.

How pensive, how sad you seem to be.

Back on the bus, Zari stops Constantine from smoking in front of a huge “smoking will kill you” billboard, because he’s feeling bummed that Astra betrayed them. Zari tells him to pull himself together; after everything they’ve been through, they can’t give up after one setback.

Though…then they hit another setback. Literally, Mick hits a woman with the bus. Tis just a flesh wound though, because she immediately gets up. Ava tries to call out to her to tell her to stay down but when the woman turns, the team sees she’s a zombie.

Sara was WAY cuter when she came back from the dead. Every time. Even that one time she was feral for a bit.

And then they notice that this zombie is not alone. And these zombies…can RUN. So the team starts to fight them, Sara and Ava making quite the team, and everyone starts to take them down, except Constantine, who can’t be detected due to his lack of a soul.

Up on the Waverider, Gary, thus undetected by the trio of hijackers, sees Atropos doing some Fate stuff with one of the Loom rings and realizes he’s in danger. He sneaks back and fiddles with some wires to try to get Gideon back up and running, but ends up electrocuting himself instead. Though when he comes to he CAN hear Gideon…AND see her.

I love the tradition of seeing human-shaped Gideon once a season. LOOK AT HER BOW.

Gideon tells him that they have to get the rings so the Fates can’t use them before the Legends get back, and Gary is down.

Down in London, the bus is totally busted after the zombie fight. Everyone starts to bicker but Ava tells them that they have to work together if they’re going to get through this. And almost immediately, Constantine and Zari break off on their own, much to Ava’s frustration.

Astra is still fighting with the Fates about the Loom, and Lachesis is sick of it. She reminds Astra that if she brings her mom back, it won’t be instantly perfect. That they’ll have to live as humans do. She gives Astra a vision of her in a hospital by her dying mother’s side, losing her all over again. She says, “Life as a human is a life of pain,” and tries to spin it as Constantine tricking Astra just to cause her more hurt. And I suppose as an immortal being with no concept of time, she doesn’t understand the value of years, and perhaps Astra has lost touch with that too, because she convinces Astra that it would feel like an instant. And maybe it would. But Astra hasn’t met Lena so she doesn’t know the value of pain, and how inevitable it is.

“What if we use the Loom to make it so no one can hurt anyone else ever again.” :Lena appears out of nowhere: “NO!”

Elsewhere on the ship, Gary and Gideon watch Atropos throw knives and are rightly in awe of her. But they need the rings, so Gideon says she’ll distract Atropos and…HOPS off. Thus revealing that possibly Gideon isn’t Gideon at all, but Gary Jr. II.

On the broken bus, Ava tells Sara that she’s frustrated because Zari and Constantine left despite her attempts to keep the team together. Sara tells her not to sweat it, that the Legends rarely have a plan, and rarely successfully follow the plan if they do have one. Sara tries to make her girlfriend laugh, saying the Legends are about improv.

Ava is me whenever I have to be on a bus.

But her heart isn’t quite in it. But before Ava can pry, soldiers show up, and Ava thinks they’ve been saved.

Alas, these soldiers have been battling zombies and don’t quite trust this ragtag group of randos who are covered in blood. Ava tries to reason with them but one easily spooked soldier SHOOTS HER IN THE HEAD.

And friends, I trust this show implicitly, I do. But there was a second where I forgot they were temporarily immortal and I SCREAMED. It was a headshot! She slumped! But then she gets up and the bullet pops out of her head and she is highly offended but otherwise unharmed.

“What are you NEW? We don’t shoot lesbians on TV anymore!”

The soldiers assume this means they are superzombies and round up the Legends and put them in the back of one of their trucks.

Up on the Waverider, the Fates have discovered that the rings are missing, and Astra finds a bit of carrot and knows exactly who is still on the ship. Gary is loving his new team-up with Gideon, and is somehow not even the brains of the operation in his own hallucination, so Gideon is the one who tells him to stop singing and find a time courier so they can get the Legends to come help.

I also appreciated the subtle ways this was definitely Gary projecting a bit of himself into Gideon’s speech.

Constantine and Zari have wandered off to an impound lot to get a car, and end up being cornered by zombies. Zari air totems one to death, but there are more coming.

I wonder if the audition process for this show involves trying on a bunch of different styles of clothing from different eras and you only get cast if you never look out of place.

Zari tries to get Constantine to go without her, but he won’t leave her, so he does a spell where he stops her heart and they move through the zombies undetected. Once Zari is awake and alive again, they book it out of there in a cute little Fish & Chips food truck situation.

In the prisoner transport van, Ava gives a leadership speech, trying to do her baby proud, and they start to list off the tools they have at their disposal.

Ava IS a good captain. But she needs her co-captain. They’re better together.

Upon being reminded he’s a criminal, Mick remembers he’s been in a van like this before, and Nate helps him punch open the back door. And since they’re immortal…they jump.

They slowly but surely heal up but still look too much like zombies while their broken bones snap into place for strangers to pick them up as hitchhikers, so they still have a ways to go.

Up on the Waverider, Gary successfully finds a time courier, but he’s caught and cornered by the fates; including Astra, who proceeds to threaten his life.

Luckily for the Legends, they don’t end up having to walk all the way to the safehouse, because Zari and Constantine roll up with an iconic Mean Girls line to pick them up. When they get to the safe house, it’s abandoned because of the zombie situation, and so when they finally find the courier, it’s not charged. A fact that Sara knew before Ava said anything.

This little resigned shrug hurt all of my feelings.

And Ava can read her girlfriend, so she is officially suspicious.

Is there any harder thing than knowing someone you love is hurting but not knowing how to gently get them to tell you about it?

The Legends, having nothing to do but wait, grab some booze and sit around a table, talking about what they would do with the Loom if they had their druthers. Sara is actually very happy flying through time with her friends and her girlfriend, and has already resisted the temptation to bring her sister back to life once, so she’s good as things are.

Sara Lance has spent a lifetime fighting like hell to be happy. Fighting like hell to learn how to let herself be happy. And she finally, finally is. She has finally built a life better than she ever could have dreamed. And now it’s over.

Ava agrees, she’s content. Mick wants to be a criminal again, Zari wants her brother back and a more inclusive world. Constantine says he wants to throw a rager, but at a little prodding from Charlie, he admits he’d also want to go back and do right by Astra the first time around. Everyone toasts, and as soon as their glasses clink, Sara sneaks off for a moment to herself.

Drinking in a quarantine zone; Sara Lance CAN see the future.

Ava finds her and asks her to come clean; what’s really bothering her? What did she really see this morning?

Sara confesses that she saw herself in this pub, she saw the time courier not being charged, the zombies attacking, Sara dying. This is it, this is the end. This is goodbye.

“A breath away from where you are. I’ve come home from so far.”

Ava is horrified by this news, and asks why Sara didn’t say anything earlier, why she’s been saying goodbye all day without telling her, without giving her the chance to do the same. But Sara didn’t want to distract her. Sara brushes her off and says she’s sure that Ava and the Legends will fix it once they have the Loom, but the truth is, Sara couldn’t see anything past her own death.

“Goodbye to you. Goodbye to everything that I knew.
You were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold onto.”

But Sara has faith in her friends. In Ava.

And for a while I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why Sara didn’t say anything earlier. The first time she was having these visions, of all her friends dying, she fought like hell to keep them from coming true. And she succeeded, so she knows it’s possible. But then, when we see things play out later, I realize what happened: The way Sara saw it, she was sacrificing herself so her friends could survive. She was distracting the zombies and dying so Ava and the team could get through the portal. She had no idea what happened after she died. So she thought it was the only way.

Unfortunately for everyone, after all their hard work getting a sip from that chalice, their immortality expires before they can get back to the Loom, and just as a horde of zombies shows up.

“This is our time. No turning back…Faith falls hard on our shoulders. But legends never die.

Astra’s immortality also runs out, but she’s still on the Waverider torturing Gary and trying to get the rings back after being momentarily distracted by a story about her mother loving strawberries.

Big week for people being painted as villains making the right choices in the end.

Talking to Gary has changed her mind, and so she quickly asks Gary to teach her how to use the courier and get the Legends here. Unfortunately, the Fates overheard this, and also the clock running out on her immortality means that her usefulness to the Fates has run out. So Atropos kills her dead.

Things aren’t looking great in London either, as the zombies pour in and Sara offers to distract them while everyone else gets back to the Waverider. Ava hates this plan, and so do I, but Sara says “Co-captains for life,” and they kiss goodbye, hopefully not for the last time.

“Pick a star on the dark horizon a and follow the light. You’ll come back when it’s over, no need to say goodbye.”

Sara jumps onto a table to distract the zombies and give her friends family more time.

:Jennifer Love Hewitt voice: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!

Ava, unable to do anything but wait for the courier to charge and watch the love of her life die, is absolutely distraught. All she can do is cry and scream her girlfriend’s name as she gets knocked down and totally overwhelmed by zombies.

Crying while fighting is a 2020 mood, too.

Starting to be bombarded with zombies herself, Ava knows that Charlie is their only hope now. She sends Charlie off to deal with her sisters and fix this, and one by one the Legends die as Charlie runs to the Waverider. Gary gives Charlie the rings as soon as he sees someone he trusts, but Gary gets killed too. Charlie is all that’s left. So she dons her Clotho persona and says they should get to work.

Charlie, you have some gays to unbury. STAT.

Since Supergirl ended this week, there was a moment that I worried this was Legends’ finale too, but luckily we still have two more episodes. And I know that Sara has died oh so many times, and she always gets better, but it still hurts every time. Luckily next week, we won’t be without our dearly departed, because it seems for some reason, the late Legends will be trapped in iconic TV shows, for reasons I can’t possibly fathom but can’t wait to watch.

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