Previously on Legends of Tomorrow, Zari 2.0 met Original Zari in the Air Totem, Behrad got murdered by Charlie’s sister, Constantine embarked on a mission to put the Loom of Fate together to save Astra’s mother, and Sara got godploded but mysteriously survived.

We open this week with Charlie telling the Legends the story of what she did to hide the third piece of the Loom of Fate. (There’s a cute meta moment where they point out that she wouldn’t have actually looked like Amaya like she does now but it’s easier this way.) Charlie entrusts the third part of the ring to The Enchantress, who asks if Clotho is sure she wants to give up her reason for being. Clotho says letting humanity have free will is more important to her; figuring out her purpose will come later. The Enchantress agrees to hide it but knows Clotho won’t be able to outrun her sisters forever.

I think in some cultures they’re married now. (No but seriously is there any style Maisie Richardson-Sellers CAN’T pull off?)

Sara sounds like a confident captain, saying they have two rings aka two-thirds of the Loom; they only need one more piece. But everyone else is still on edge from Atropos’s attack and some go so far as to blame Charlie for not telling them all this earlier. Ava and Sara are #TeamCharlie though and tell everyone to calm down.

I wonder if Caity knows how well she’s mastered bisexual sitting.

Zari, with a new layer of armor on, tells Constantine to do his hocus pocus thing so they can hit the road, and when Nate catches her gazing at the air totem, she says she’s not sad. She’s determined. She tells Nate about meeting Original Zari and he starts to conflate the two and almost kisses her, but Constantine interrupts. It might be the first time I rejoiced upon seeing good ol’ Johnny.

Constantine takes the team to the Northumberland manor and starts to prep the spell. Sara goes into the kitchen to get some…iced tea? Juice? Whatever it is, you know Gary made it. Anyway, Sara sees herself pouring herself a glass, but then shakes it off and realizes she hasn’t actually done it yet. Charlie comes in and catches her looking a little off but Sara pours herself a glass for real and promises she’s fine, assassin’s honor.

Is this also how she made promises to Nyssa?

The team gathers and starts to do some weird magic, and Sara has a flash of seeing Ava running out of the circle. Then she’s overcome and collapses, causing Ava to run just like Sara’s vision so she could get to her girlfriend’s side. Which makes me wonder if getting blasted by a Fate gave her premonition powers. Or maybe even the ability to see a bunch of potential outcomes. Unfortunately, she stays knocked out for the rest of the episode, so we’ll have to wait until next time to learn more about that.

Because the ring was broken, only Constantine and Zari end up in a certain point in time, where they can’t see it but the ring is wooshing in and out of existence. They’re still in the manor, but it’s a boarding house now, so they tell the kind old lady they’re a couple and join a man named Dr. White as guests. It’s worth noting here that Zari also helps her find something she’s looking for and she says that sometimes it’s when you stop looking that you end up finding what you seek. Which was a clue that our friends missed the first time around.

Upstairs, Constantine and Zari try to hatch a plan. Zari can’t use the air totem yet, so that’s out. Her only powers are social influence and being a billionaire and business mogul before she could legally drive. Constantine scoffs at the idea that these skills could be helpful but Zari is tired of his shit and tells him to “sorcer something.” He does do a lil magic and they think it’s pointing them to Dr. White’s room, so Zari proves Constantine wrong and uses her social skills to lure the doctor downstairs so John can search the stranger’s room.

Zari 2.0 out here doing the work to prove that you can’t judge a book by its Instagram presence.

Not too long into their conversations, Zari’s instincts tell her to get out of the proverbial forest, so she runs back upstairs. She goes into Dr. White’s room, hoping to find her friend, but instead finds herself alone in the doctor’s room with a scalpel pointed at her. Constantine jumps out and breaks his neck and Zari is like, “What the actual heck, this isn’t an episode of The Vampire Diaries, you can’t just run around breaking people’s necks??” and Constantine tells her to relax because clearly this bescalpeled man is Jack the Ripper and therefore an Encore.

Back on the Waverider, Gideon tells Ava that Sara is basically having a time seizure. It was a bit delayed, but her fight with Atropos put her in a coma. Ava tells Charlie that if their toughest fighter couldn’t stand up to one of her sisters, she doesn’t feel great about their chances with two.

Ava looking so SAD sitting with her unconscious girlfriend hurt me so much I almost couldn’t appreciate three queer ladies alone in a scene. Almost.

Ava checks the Prognosticator and at first she feels like she’s helping because it shows Encores heading toward Constantine but then it’s too much for her machine to process and she starts to panic. Ava feels like she is losing control over the situation and the one person who can usually ground her is out of commission. So she decides to channel her inner Captain Lance, grabs the hellsword, and storms to hell to give Astra a piece of her mind.

My sexuality is a supercut of all the ladies of this show swinging around this sword on an endless loop.

Back in the boarding house, Constantine still can’t find the ring and feels like something is interfering with his magic. Constantine is sure Jack the Ripper was sent to kill him but Zari says something that also ends up being even more true than usual: “Not everything is about you.” She also uses “serial killed” as a verb which I appreciated very much, as someone who very much enjoys verbing seemingly unverbable words. Before they can decide what to do next, however, Zari and Constantine hear the front door ding open and look over the railing to see a whole line of Encores waiting to board, including Bonnie and Clyde. (I thought it was very funny that these villains came right from hell and immediately…got in line. To politely ask for a room. But I was told this has Clue vibes so I’m guessing that’s why.)

Constantine again assumes they’re here for him, and Zari reminds him that if they’re looking for an ancient artifact, perhaps they’re not the only one. Which hadn’t occurred to Constantine because his head is so far up his own ass his trenchcoat blocks his view. Constantine tries to get Zari to stay behind while he goes to check out the situation but she insists that the little warrior in her bracelet will protect her.

I ALMOST made another NSFW joke here, too, but figured the Sara one already maxed my quota this recap.

Constantine ignores her and puts on Jack the Ripper’s suit and goes to blend in with the baddies. We have Bonnie and Clyde, Henry VIII (and sadly not even one of his six wives), Black Caesar, and Brutus. Again, they’re all behaving very well, not tearing the place apart, and they listen promptly when the old lady who runs the place orders them to get to the dining room for supper.

On the Waverider, Ava is extremely ready to go to hell. She takes Gary and Mick with her, for magic and muscle in that very specific order, and leaves Nate and Charlie to fix the Prognosticator. Sword in hand, Ava and the boys swiftly find Astra, and Ava wastes no time letting her know they’re not here for tea.

Mick needs to GTFO so I can be alone with this shot for a few minutes.

Astra is amused by Ava’s gusto, and promises that she hasn’t released an Encore lately, even offering to prove it.

At the villain dinner, they all realize that they were all sent to get the ring. Constantine tries to charm them but soon he finds himself at the pointy end of Brutus’s knife. They all end up in a hellweapon standoff when in busts in Zari, dressed and acting like Cleopatra.

“I’m queen of the castle, get down you dirty rascal.”

She uses her Shakespeare notice to convince Brutus (“Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more”) and thus everyone else that she was the real Queen of Egypt. She manages to convince them all that they should work together, proving to Constantine that he shouldn’t be counting her out.

Down in hell, Astra leads Ava to her office to prove that she hasn’t been resurrecting Encores, but when she opens her vault, she finds all her coins gone. When she asks her henchman what happened, he tells her that she asked him to remove them herself. Realizing a shapeshifter was afoot, and knowing Lachesis’s true identity now, she knows immediately what happened here.

Astra makes very good “over it” faces.

Even the coin around her neck isn’t Constantine’s anymore, it’s Vandal Savage’s, which was a nice little throwback to the first season. Astra knows she can’t fight Lachesis alone, and Ava has an idea not unlike Zari’s though with purer long-term intentions; what if they teamed up?

Only a Legend could go to hell for vengeance and come back with an ally instead.

Astra agrees, but doesn’t want the boys to come. Which is a mood.

While they walk, the ladies bond about having terrible mentors who turned out to have been lying to them their whole lives.

Nothing bonds two grown women faster than shared trauma, in my experience.

Astra asks if Ava killed Rip, and she said she didn’t. She just took control of her own life again. Made her own choices, became her own person, separate from and despite the years of subpar supervision. Astra decides her first choice as her own person will be to betray Ava; she admits that she was telling the truth while they were chatting but also is going to have her men take Ava away. Astra takes the sword back and marches in to see Lachesis on her own.

At the Northumberland manor, everyone is on the hunt for the ring when Bonnie gives Brutus a taste of his own medicine and kills him dead. At the same time, Constantine and Zari are about to try to take Black Caesar’s magic compass, when Clyde takes him out.

In hell, Ava isn’t too fussed about being tied up with the boys because she knows the sigil will take them back after a certain amount of time. But Gary says that they all have to be touching for that to work, otherwise he’ll be the only one popped back up to the Waverider. Mick is pissed because he wants to crash his daughter’s soccer game, and I just really love how Mick can sound so gruff while being so sweet. I WANT TO BE A SUPPORTIVE FATHER, DAMMIT is basically what he growls at Gary. So they have to start thinking fast.

They need a lady witch on the ship STAT. The boys clearly can’t be trusted. Maybe Sara has a contact in Salem.

Meanwhile, Astra goes to Lachesis, who introduces her to her Auntie Atropos. Lachesis admits to having the soul coins, but says they’re just a petty distraction, and that Astra should be thinking bigger. The Fates invite Astra to be their third, to give her godlike powers. Lachesis has been grooming Astra for this, and she thinks her protege is ready. Astra has one question though: Constantine promised to get Astra’s mom back. Will being a Fate allow this too?

Yes, I know this recap is mostly just screenshots of Astra but like…have you SEEN her??

But Lachesis waves off her request, calling it a “petty human desire.” She says that what she’s offering will give her so much more. Allow her to design destiny. Astra puts on a wide smile and agrees to join them, on the condition that she still gets to keep Constantine’s coin, because he’s hers to toy with, which Lachesis agrees to.

In Ye Olde England, despite having the magic compass, Zari and Constantine are still having trouble finding the ring. Zari says that it’s like it doesn’t want to be found, which helps Constantine realize that it’s probably under a cloaking spell that hides it from anyone who is actively trying to find it. Zari can’t imagine the ring just slipping her mind, so Constantine suggests drinking.

Zari doesn’t join him in imbibing though, as is her wont, and laments not being able to stop thinking about the ring. She’s usually good at avoiding thinking about things. Especially hard things. But not this. Not her baby brother dying to protect her. She can’t just throw herself into work or CatChat and forget this.

“Our size of sorrow,
proportion’d to our cause, must be as great.”

Zari is holding a lot of guilt about Behrad’s death. If she hadn’t been wearing the totem, would he still be alive? What if they can’t fix this?

But before Constantine can either give her surprisingly sound advice or do the actual opposite of that, they are interrupted. YOu see, Bonnie and Clyde found Jack the Ripper (this is one of those “I fucking love this show” sentences), and realized that the other Jack is actually John Constantine. So they bust in to nab Constantine, and Constantine Dimitris Zari out of a secret passage like she’s the lost princess Anastasia, saying he’ll handle it.

After leaving Lachesis and Atropos, Astra finds Ava, Gary and Mick and at first Ava thinks she’s going to kill them, but instead she sets them free. She realizes that John is still her only hope for getting her mother back, and that the Legends are going to help him. Ava says that she’s done a great job making her own choices but why not take one more step toward choosing her own fate: join the Legends on this mission.

“You know how the Titanic was called the Ship of Dreams? The Waverider is called the Ship of Queers. Join us.”

Ava reaches out her hand, and Astra considers her options.

Up on the Waverider, Charlie and Nate, instead of fixing the Prognosticator, just hanging out, and Charlie is asking Nate if Amaya ever channeled animals during…opportune moments. They’re interrupted by their interim captain’s return, and are surprised to see that Astra is with her.

Finally realizing her own worth despite Constantine continually ignoring it, Zari sneaks back through the secret entrance and manages to channel the air totem in time to save the day. In the adrenaline rush of their success, Constantine and Zari’s faces get very close to each other’s, and in that moment, thoughts of only Zari fill John’s head and the ring reveals itself to him.

Just then, Ava and Nate show up to save them, even though the battle is over now. (Personal sidenote, this also happens to me when I squad in Fortnite with my friends. I can’t tell you how often I run to be their backup to find them standing safely in a pile of enemy loot.) Ava is proud of them since they are safe and have the ring, and Constantine actually gets out from under his own oversized ego and gives Zari credit. The Legends collect the scattered hellweapons that will surely come in handy later and head back to the ship.

Before he leaves, Constantine thanks the old lady, and smiles knowingly at her, saying he didn’t think she was allowed to interfere anymore. He leaves and turns out it was the Enchantress all along.

No shade to Cara Delevegnengne but I am a FAN of this incarnation of the Enchantress.

Now safe on the Waverider, Zari tells Nate about how she used the air totem and felt like Behrad was with her. Gary hugs Constantine and he’s actually nice to his apprentice for once. But then his face gets stony when Astra comes in, swinging his coin on a chain, smirking like she hasn’t a care in the world. “I hear we have a Loom to build.”

Astra tormenting Constantine is so delicious.

And listen, I know probably we won’t get to keep her forever, but I think Astra will be a very fun foil to the Legends, and I for one can’t wait to see what they all get up to together.

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