Blessed be! Welcome to this Legends of Tomorrow Avalance wedding recap of episode 615, “The Fungus Amongus!”

We pick up where we left off, with Mick rushing in to save the last egg, and the bomb Bishop rigged to the incubator going off. But this time we see that Mick just got blasted out of the room; he’s okay and so is the egg. Kayla looks around and says she’s surprised that everyone just risked their lives to save her eggs, and Sara tells her that they’re Mick’s kids, so they’re family. And that’s just what they do for family.

The Waverider is like Olive Garden. When you’re here, you’re family.

They can’t figure out what Bishop’s deal is. They know he’s stalling, but they don’t know why. He jacked up the Waverider, so they can’t go anywhere; Kayla starts to brag that actually SHE can go anywhere because her ship is just fine…but then they see it fly away, stolen.

They see a horror-movie-esque hand on the widow but it’s not an alien or an evil clone, just Behrad, back from visiting his parents and very confused as to what the heck happened. When they catch him up, he feels guilty; he knew Constantine was acting weird, he thinks he should have intervened sooner. He wants to talk to him, but just then Zari and Astra come in and tell everyone that it’s too late. Constantine is dead.

Astra tells them about the ancient fungal network protecting the earth, and Bishop linking Constantine to it before killing him, effectively killing the fountain. Astra says that he watched John die and that all that was left in the end was a little mushroom.

I do love how Astra is now generally unfazed by things like “He turned into this here mushroom.”

Sara is a little overwhelmed by this update and asks where Spooner is, so Astra takes her to where her little Spoon is. They find Mama Spoons taking care of her grown up baby girl, who is unconscious despite her best efforts. Astra realizes Spooner might be dying and is distraught.

“Stay alive.”

And to be honest, things aren’t looking great for our intrepid heroes! And they don’t even know the half of it! It’s the perfect amount of stakes for a season finale, in my humble opinion.

Meanwhile on the Waverider, Kayla is doing her best to fix their busted ship when Mick comes in to check on her. A timer goes off and she says it’s the egg rotation timer and he says he’ll take care of it, which surprises Kayla. She tells him about how she wants to take her eggs and gtfo, but Mick says he’s not leaving them. In her culture, the mother takes care of the eggs alone after the father gives birth, but Mick says he already did the absent father thing once, he’s not about to do it again.

Back at the house, Astra tells Sara that the fountain being linked to Spooner is what’s making her sick, meaning if it dies, so will Spooner. They’re interrupted by a terrible sound and when they go outside, they see something streaking to earth. Sara, Ava, and Nate go to check it out and find a single pod. Sara knows this tactic and knows it’s just a scout and that more will likely follow if they let it go.

When the alien leaves its pod, Spooner stirs for the first time and Astra rushes to her side.

My left brain is like, “Okay this is also how I would react if my friend was in a coma,” but my right brain is like KISS KISS KISS.

She relays the message she hears from the alien but still seems out of sorts.

Ava and Sara fight the alien but Ava doesn’t have a clear shot and even though she knows Sara can regenerate, she can’t bring herself to shoot Sara. But Nate does not have this same problem and shoots through Sara and gets the alien. But before it dies, he crawls over and sends the rally cry back to the rest of the aliens.

After Spooner falls back unconscious, The team realizes that they were looking at things the wrong way; yes, the fountain is dying so Spooner is, too, but that means that while Spooner is still alive, there’s still time to save the fountain.

Sara scrunches her brow up into her thinky face and Ava asks what’s going on. Sara thinks she knows what Bishop wants. He wants to destroy the Earth so only he and Sara are left. But Ava sure as shit won’t let that happen.

This is the most complicated in-law situation I’ve ever seen.

Back on the Waverider, Behrad rushes into the room and holds the Constantine mushroom up to Zari, saying that he talked to Constantine, heard his voice, that he thinks he’s inside the mushroom. The team looks at him like he’s Horton trying to tell them about Whoville and assume he’s high. Zari wouldn’t want to talk to her bellend of an ex-boyfriend anyway. His ego is what got them into this mess.

When I said I missed Flannel Zari I didn’t mean I wanted Fancy Zari to get sadder!

As Kayla gets closer to fixing the Waverider, she once again expresses the desire to get the hell out of dodge as soon as she’s able…but this time she asks if Mick will come with her.

“I mean you’re no kiss in the coat closet, but I suppose you’ll do.”

Growth!

Kayla gets Gideon back online but as soon as she starts to say how relieved she is, Bishop interrupts her yet again. He plays a pre-recorded video correctly predicting the state of things, and since he knows how Sara’s brain works, he knows she’s figured out his icky Adam and Eve plot. He knows he’s the only one who could save the fountain, and he simply shall not. He smiles haughtily as Ava and Sara watch angrily.

This is how I watched any episode of Supergirl with Lex in it.

The team knows he’s right, that he’s the only one who can save the fountain, so they decided to go back in time to get a pre-evil version of Bishop to help them. Sara thinks this is a bad idea, but they points out that since Bishop shares part of her brain, a What Would Sara Never Do Day is exactly what the Beebo ordered.

So they go back in time to when Bishop was still a wide-eyed scientist, trying to make Ava Prime come to life. Ava and Nate go back to get him, and he thinks that if time travelers came for him, he must be very important, so he happily joins them to help save the world.

After he investigates the poison his future self made, he is of course impressed, but knows how to make an antidote.

To Ava’s credit, I’d also do anything this face asked me to.

Just then, Behrad rushes in and says that he talked to John, SAW him, and he wants to talk to everyone! All they have to do is take a nibble of the Constantine mushroom.

Zari storms off, thinking this is insane. Sara thinks it’s a bad idea for everyone to get high before a big mission. Ava reminds her that it’s What Would Sara Never Do Day but Sara says she’s putting the kibosh on that holiday and has regained control as captain and says no, so everyone goes to find a way to make themselves useful for the fight ahead.

“Friends are friends, not food.”

But as soon as Sara is alone, she hears John’s voice in her head. The voice beckons her to “eat me” and she decides to go ask Alice and take a nibble. She’s transported to a vision of the site of the fountain and sees Constantine there, dressed all in white. He knows what he did was unforgivable, and what he did made the fountain deem humans unworthy of protection. He’s going to stay and feed the fountain with his slow death while she saves Spooner and the fountain; he wants to make it right.

Constantine tells Sara that he takes back what he once told her, that they were too broken to have anything stable when it comes to relationships. He says the only thing he’s ever said that I really liked: “Loving and being loved, that is the point.” He had that, and he got greedy, and that’s how he ended up in this predicament. He has one more thing to tell her, the secret of all life, and he whispers it in her ear, and she is Enlightened.

:whispers: Kara leaned in.

Up on the ship, Kayla runs a diagnostic and Gideon compliments her on her mechanic skills. She’s about to plot an escape but Mick stops her. He doesn’t want her to leave with the kids, but he also can’t leave the Legends. He needs both of his families to be together while he helps save the world. He knows she won’t leave without him; he knows deep down she still cares about him.

NEXT PAGE: BRIDES! 

Sara runs in and tells the team with wild eyes that she knows the meaning of life. She takes a deep breath and lays it on them: “We are all connected.”

Me after I finish explaining the plot of this show to someone who doesn’t watch, but before I realize they stopped listening somewhere around “Thong Song.”

When they all look at her like she told them the sky is blue, she realizes that what Constantine told her seemed more profound in the moment. She tries to shake off the effects of the mushroom and get back to leading.

Young Bishop finishes the antidote and gives it to Spooner, who comes to, confused but grateful.

Nate wonders if healing Spooner healed the fountain and stopped the invasion but they peep out the window and realize they sure did not. They go out to investigate and see a bunch of scattered pods; and according to Gary, they have until dark to stop this. It’s up to them to save humanity.

“Just once can’t our mission be to like…help Nancy Drew solve one of her cute local murders?”

Back at the house, Spooner is eating and getting her strength back, and she’s surprised to realize she can’t hear anyone’s thoughts but her own. No aliens, no fountain. But one thing she does know from being connected to the fountain is that it doesn’t want to help them.

As things start to get dire, Sara decides to get down to brass tacks. She turns on her heels and faces Ava and asks her to marry her. Not theoretically, not someday in the future. Today, before the apocalypse descends. She wants to get married to the love of her life, even if it’s the last thing she does. Maybe especially if it’s the last thing she does. Ava looks at Sara like it’s the wildest plan she’s ever heard, but baby, she’s on board.

Me @ people who tell me they just started any of my favorite shows.

So the Legends get to work. Just like they are a perfect combo in the field, they’re the perfect team for a wedding they only have four hours to plan and do. Gary is on fashion, Behrad on food, Zari takes care of the magic, Astra uses her magic to make some decorations, and Spooner helps her mom set up the front yard. As they lay out the tablecloth, Spooner asks her mom to leave. At first her mom says no; this is her home, and she wants to defend it. But Spooner can’t be distracted by trying to protect her mom. She needs her to be somewhere safe. She can’t lose her mother, not again. So Mom agrees. And as soon as her mom leaves to pack her bag, Spooner turns to see Astra watching with sympathetic eyes, and Spooner just collapses into Astra’s arms.

I feel like I need this image on a magnet that says “I flip for Spatula” to have in my kitchen.

Gary finds Ava trying and failing to write her vows, in a full panic. Sara already wrote her vows. Sara! Chaos incarnate. Is prepared for this. And Ava, the woman who is so much of a planner she got literally turned into one once, has nothing. Gary tells her that she’s overthinking it. That she has to just speak from the heart. It was exactly what she needed to hear, so she looks at her best little assistant and asks him to walk her down the aisle. His big eyes fill up with tears and for the first time, he doesn’t have a wild, overblown reaction. He just smiles a big smile and quietly and proudly accepts.

“Now get back to work.”

And so it’s finally time for the wedding we’ve all been waiting for. Mick walks Sara down the aisle, dressed in a beautiful white pantsuit. Behrad sings Songbird because apparently Avalance feelings weren’t enough without a layer of Brittana feelings. Kayla is there with the babies, looking lovely in her human dress. Ava walks down the aisle in a simple white dress, looking stunning, and Sara looks so, so happy.

Listen she looks beautiful but I won’t lie the first thing I thought when I saw her was, “Is she wearing a bump-it?”

Nate officiates and together they reminisce about the first time they met, and how this is exactly what the world needs right now. “When hope seems lost: love.” And Nate isn’t just talking about Sara and Ava. This bond the Legends have is deeper than that, and the love they have for each other will be their beacon in the impending storm.

“This is our time. No turning back. We could live, we could live like legends.”

Sara reads her vows, saying that Ava melted her cold, assassin heart, and promises to always be Ava’s champion, to always let her in even when it’s hard, and to always, ALWAYS fight for her. And above all, she will love her.

I usually hate wedding scenes but this one was actually very lovely.

Ava takes Gary’s advice and speaks from the heart. Calls Sara the chaos that uprooted her tidy existence. Ava was living a simulation of a life, and Sara made everything real. She says the most Avalance thing that has ever been said to close out her vows; “Co-captains forever, baby.”

“Everything that you do gives me some power, makes me feel alive. So take the gun, I’m your Bonnie, you can be my Clyde. I know that you feel the same, so paint it on your face, and baby, let the world see.”

Nate asks for objections and of course Bishop shows up to express his. In Kayla’s stolen ship, he crashes down into the field, bringing with him an early blanket of night, causing the aliens to start unleash from the pods, like a billion little Finleys here to disrupt a gay wedding.

Sara tries to get everyone without steel skin or the power of regeneration to fall back, but she should know her team better than that. Spooner and her guns and Astra and her magic aren’t going anywhere.

“We’ve got magic to do, just for you.”

Kayla also decides to stay, and takes her place next to her baby daddy. The siblings activate their totems, and everyone falls in line, ready for the fight of their lives.

“Just because everything’s changing doesn’t mean it’s never been this way before. All you can do is try to know who your friends are as you head off to the war.”

But then they see that the aliens rushing at them are only the first wave. When they see more aliens than they can take on rushing over the hills, they decide to take a covered approach instead. As they’re barricading the door, Behrad gets bitten, and Sara knows first hand how lethal this bite is, so she grabs an ax by the fireplace and gets ready to do some battlefield surgery. Zari stops her and says she won’t let her hack up her baby brother, and as they argue about it, Spooner throws up her hands to calm them down and a little beam of healing energy is sucked from Sara and into Behrad, and his bite heals up. Sara realizes now that this is what Constantine meant. This is what it’s all meant. They’re all connected.

So Sara puts Spooner in charge of QBing, and she swaps people’s powers as needed to keep the aliens at bay. And despite their joint efforts keeping them alive, they know this isn’t a permanent solution. They realize that this might be the end, and Sara is glad at least she’ll die a wife, but Nate points out that they technically never finished the ceremony. Inspired by this team, Kayla offers to hold the aliens back as long as she can while the team finishes the ceremony. So she tentacles out and holds the line while the Legends circle up around Ava and Sara and finish the “I do”s and make their last moments count.

Nate pronounces them officially wives, and Ava Sharpe and Sara Lance kiss.

This seems to be a theme on this show and I am HERE FOR IT.

And as they kiss, a glowing light builds and swirls and shoots out of the circle of Legends and grows like a fungus and out into the night, destroying all the aliens. It turns out, the fountain realized love is not a lie and decided to save them after all. Constantine showed it the worst of humanity, but the rest of the Legends showed it the best. And so, yet again, queer love and found family saves the day.

And if we thought them calling each other “babe” every chance they got was cute, I have a feeling them calling each other “wifey” might end up being even cuter.

h a n d s

Bishop rockets down to the earth, desperate for the win, unused to losing. He doesn’t really understand how his plan failed, but the thing is, he didn’t count on the power of teamwork. He waves his gun around and is ready to fight them all one by one, but just then Mick and Kayla’s babies hatch and creep on up to Bishop. At first he’s delighted; a natural-born human/alien hybrid species. But then the babies crawl up his legs and devour him. A poetic justice; the very thing he dedicated his life to creating, created without his involvement at all, is also his downfall.

Kayla and Mick are so proud.

Young Bishop promises to never become the supervillain he saw here tonight, but actually they need him to do just that, so they mindwipe him and shove him back to where he came from.

Zari goes to the site of the fountain and says out loud to the spirit of Constantine that she really did love him. “I wish that could have been enough.” And excuse me, Tala Ashe, but I did not order these FEELINGS.

“You and your words, obsessed with your legacy, your sentences border on senseless. And you are paranoid at every paragraph how they perceive you. You, you, you.”

She is surprised when she hears Constantine answer. He traded his soul to a demon in hell…again, and while he doesn’t regret a second of their time together, it’s time for him to go his own way. He gives her an old key without telling her what it’s for, and disappears.

On the front porch, Mick and Sara reflect on how much has changed since their first day on the Waverider. They were both such angry loners, and now here they both are. Mick with a billion babies and a woman to raise them with, Sara with a team of lovable idiots and a wife. How far they’ve come. But it looks like Sara will be the last Original Legend standing, because Mick has to go be a dad now. He has a new team to be part of, but he thinks he’s learned a lot about herding kittens from watching Sara these past few years.

“It would be pretty neat if they didn’t replace you and Constantine with more white men.”

As the Legends leave the site of their great victory, Ava is a little uneasy; this all felt a little too…neat. Nothing they’ve ever done ends with quite a tidy seam. There’s always another loose thread being tugged. Sara tells her that she’s just being paranoid.

“Everything’s gonna be fine, fine, fine.”

But, as usual, Ava is right, and before they can even get back to the Waverider to tell Gideon the good news, a ship that looks suspiciously like a second Waverider swoops in, destroys their ship, and swoops out. And the last line of the season is perfect, because of who delivered it, because of how it was delivered, because it perfectly sums up the show and honestly could have been the whole recap. Astra says simply, “What the hell?!”

And that’s where season six leaves us! I think this is my favorite season of the show so far, or at least really high up there, which is really wild to think about considering I can’t think of many shows that I can say that about the SIXTH season. But this show just keeps getting better as it figures out what exactly works. I’m not sure if next season will have a new shtick – like seasons before had anachronisms, encores, and aliens – or if we still have more alien mess to clean up, but luckily we won’t have to wait too long to find out! Season 7 premieres in just over a month, and I can’t wait to find out what these time traveling wives and their crazy kids get up to next.

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