The Today Show’s fourth hour with Katie Lee and Hoda on NBC holds its place in American daytime television and my heart as the one show that prominently features alcohol (wine) on every episode. It’s a funny gag. People love it. Guests can’t believe it! “It’s really wine!” they say. Late night television hosts live for it, regularly roasting KLG and Hoda for their 10 am live television wine consumption.
On its face, it seems like these ladies just gotta have their vino! Except they don’t just gotta have their vino, because if you watch the show – which with as many smart, engaged minds as we have here on this site, it has to be all of you and certainly not just me – they never drink it. Their wine glasses sit to the right and left of them like two bookends, untouched for the entire show.
Then why did this tradition even start? Well, we have Chelsea Handler to thank. She appeared on the show in 2008 to promote her book Are You There Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea and brought vodka. The next day actress Brooke Shields appeared as a guest and asked where her cocktail was. Soon after that, actor Joel McHale brought Hennessy for them to drink on air.
It stuck. From the next day forward, Kathie Lee and Hoda would have a glass of wine in front of each of them for every show.
As I watched the other day I was reminded again of the waste. Two full 6 oz pours of white and red wine within arms reach and yet never touched. “Drink some,” I thought. They wouldn’t. Never meet your heroes indeed.
I wanted to find out just how much wine has been wasted over the years. I knew I had a reference point of 2008, but to ensure every drop was accounted for I needed the month and day that this started. Amazingly, a list of exact dates for guests of The Today Show’s forth hour with Katie Lee and Hoda doesn’t exist. I was, however, able to find a comment on a New York Times article dated July 14th, 2008 that stated they’d watched the show that morning and they didn’t appreciate Kathie Lee’s treatment of guest Joel McHale.
Now, the Nobel Committee will ignore this investigative journalism even though they’ll indulge a man who sounds like he’s a skeleton decoration on a door at Halloween, but the fact remains: July 15, 2008 is when this horse and pony show began.
That’s since been eight years and four months, so by an estimation of five shows a week, ten months out of the year, Today with Kathie Lee and Hoda has wasted over 3200 glasses of wine.
For some perspective, 3200 glasses of wine is:
1200 pounds, or 4.6 Dwayne “The Rock” Johnsons
$19,200 US dollars at a low-end restaurant, or 46 tickets to Hamilton
2.1 years of a scientifically proven life well lived
800 times you could have snuck into a concert with a Wine Bra
45 times more than the most hot dogs ever eaten in one sitting
560,000 grapes the Grape Fail Lady would have to get through
1 entire listen of “Work From Home” by Fifth Harmony if you lined them up and walked their length
1600 Carol watches if you consumed responsibly
How many more, Kathie Lee? Hoda? Answer me!!!!
Ok. Who do I call to nominate someone for a Pulitzer ??????
???
This article is So Important to me
And also w u
I can’t try to be witty. I’m laughing too hard. I love you, Erin. :D
<3
I used to do props, so what I take away from this is an image of a harried, recent grad intern whose sole job is to inspect the wine for obvious contamination and pour it back into a bottle with a funnel after every show.
(NO I HAVE NEVER DONE SOMETHING THAT DISGUSTING THE ALCOHOL PROPS IN MY SHOWS WERE MADE WITH WATER AND FOOD DYE LIKE ANY DECENT PERSONS)
Ahahahaha
listen, I don’t know who is responsable for hiring Erin, but I want to vote for that person for President. clearly A+ judgement and leadership skills.
you know, in many ways it was erin herself who was in charge of us hiring erin.
Could we get an A+ post that’s just “every Erin post as pitched to the editors, ranked” ?
Or what is probably a better list is pitches we’ve regretfully said yes to, ranked
i read erin’s application, read her review of “valentine’s day,” read her review of valentine’s day out loud to my then-girlfriend, watched a video she made about minnesota, showed the video to my then-girlfriend, subsequently followed all her social medias, declared myself her #1 fan, and then (with the blessing of the other senior editors) emailed her to ask her to be on our team before we’d even finished reading all of the other applications.
unfortunately i believe it is too late to vote for me for president, but it’s cool, i don’t really have any experience in politics anyhow
Experience: irrelevant. You have the eye, my friend.
Wait there is something called a wine bra? Take my money now!
This is investigative journalism at its finest.
Erin.
1. I have finally learned that any Autostraddle headline that makes me go “huh?… …huh” is invariably written by you. I am so glad.
2. I am now imagining that it is someone’s job, much like the altar-guild lady of my church heritage, to consume the (blessed) wine after each show.
3. Thank you.
1. Same 2. Envied my mom watching her do this as a child 3. Ty
Also, forgot to add that these graphics are A+++ content.
I wish you had been my math teacher.
lets continue our math education together
This is hilarious!!
I’m having trouble with the pool one though, if anyone can explain that one to stop my head scratching.. I don’t get how 3,200 glasses of wine became 15,987 gallons. The best I can figure is that 15,987 is five times 3,200 but I want to understand the conversion :)
Oh no kristina ive see what ive done and def pressed the wrong button on my phone when converting. Im a sham!!! Dont check the rest of the math on this its definitely on and this is not an indicator of possibly everything being wrong ?
I am sure the rest are all totally right!!!! Even if they are not right (AND THEY ARE ALL RIGHT) it is a hilarious piece and worthy of all journalistic praise. I hope we see more!
They really need to pay you back in double. They owe you this.
I love the inevitable “CAROL” comment!