Hi! Happy international meet an Autostraddler week! This is your new favourite holiday. The great thing about this holiday is that it can be celebrated every day. In fact I just celebrated it last night with like 15 people from Montreal and it was really great and a little nerdy. Hi guys!
Feeling nostalgic for the 90s? Riese and Laneia give you a bunch of 90s bands they don’t listen to anymore and a few that they still do! I’m listening to Green Day right now. You can add “buy 90s CDs” to your “how to cope with unemployment list” like Kelsey did. Or you can, you know, bake me something delicious with pumpkin. Don’t know how? OH LOOK HOW CONVENIENT: Get Baked with Autostraddle: Pumpkin Edition!
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On Australian ARIA Music Awards: Can’t Your Hear, Can’t You Hear The Thunder:
The Bitter Award to e:
i would take australian music nominees over the grammy nominees any day. america sucks at everything.
On NSFW Sunday: Autostraddle is Not a Trademark Sexual Move, Except When It Is:
THE AUTOSTRADDLE AWARD FOR AUTOSTRADDLING to wasteunit:
I spent a lot of time autostraddling and being autostraddled last night.
The e Award for Smooth Talkers to Lauren, Jader, e:
The Autostraddle University Award to petitekarma, terracottatoes:
On 15 90s Bands We Stopped Listening To After the 90s (and 11 We Still Listen To):
The Celebrity Story You’ll Tell All Your Life Award to jessica:
When I was 2 years old, I lived in an apartment next door to Hootie and the Blowfish. They used to practice and annoy my parents. That is all.
The It Was Worth It Award to bren:
Matchbox 20 got super popular the summer between high school and college. My then “best friend” (current girlfriend) LOVED Matchbox 20. I spent every one of my crappy-summer-minimum-wage-job dollars on tickets to their concert. When we got there it was so crowded that she couldn’t “deal” and told me to just sell the tickets to someone else.
I was PISSED for about 2 minutes until she suggested that we use the illicitly obtained scalper money to rent a hotel room for the night instead. I think it was that moment that I knew she was a keeper.
The Kurt Cobain Just Really Gets Me, You Know? Award to TSwizzle:
I listen to 90′s music non-ironically, because growing up in the weird, almost cultish environment that I did, it’s all pretty much new to me. HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD THIS BAND CALLED NIRVANA? IT LIKE….TOTALLY SPEAKS TO ME. LIKE FOR REAL.
On Gay Bishop Gene Robinson Retires, Anti-Gay Asst AG Andrew Shirvell Gets Fired:
The Your Sister Probably Isn’t As Big An Idiot As Fred Phelps Though Award to diver, Ziggy Hreins:
On Kelsey’s 5 Steps to Coping with Unemployment:
The Write Comment Awards: Check! I Feel Accomplished Award to kalinflynn:
Make lists of things to do. Include safety goals like “laundry” and “journal” in addition to reach goals like “get a job” and “write a book.” Always include “make a list of things to do” so you can quickly feel the accomplishment of checking it off.
Start a blog. Then start another blog. Then start another blog. Obviously, one of the three will become wildly popular and you will live off the ad revenue for years.
Practice yoga. Learn to meditate without anxiously waiting for the end so you can feel enlightened already. Seriously, it’s not like you have somewhere else to be. Just breathe.
Paint your nails colors that weren’t appropriately ‘professional’ for your last job. Call your friends who still work there and tell them that you just slept until 10, painted your nails neon green, and are going to update your blog later, if you have time. Check “call working friends” off your list.
On “Democrats Lean Towards Caving On DADT,” We Lean Towards Screaming From Our Eyeballs:
The I Can’t Even Think of a Name For This One But It Was Funny Award to twg:
I think the biggest shock of this article is finding out that Harry Reid is on Twitter.
The LULZ Award to via:
DO WE LIVE ON CRAZY PLANET?!?! I WANT TO MOVE TO LADIES HAPPY FROZEN PIZZA PARTLY CLOUDY KITTENS TOMATO SOUP LOVE AND TEQUILA PLANET!!! plz.
but srsly. I don’t even know what to say about these things. they don’t make sense in my brain.
On Get Baked With Autostraddle: Pumpkin Edition:
The Pumpkin Farmer Award to Kaylise:
This is awesome, since clearly pumpkin is the little black romper of baking (Not perfect for every occasion, but DAMN so fine when done right). However, you guys, pumpkin is really expensive this year. There was a bad pumpkin crop or something, and it is ruining my life.
@Kaylise: I bought a huge, very tall pumpkin the day of halloween for $15 (AFTER bargaining them down) in hopes of carving a sexy naked lady silhouette into it. i then thought twice about 1) my artistic skills and 2) the trick or treating children who would see my hot lady pumpkin, so it is still sitting on the walkway to my house, uncarved. the point of this story is you can have it. :)
“I WANT TO MOVE TO LADIES HAPPY FROZEN PIZZA PARTLY CLOUDY KITTENS TOMATO SOUP LOVE AND TEQUILA PLANET”
x2
x3…also, i grew my own pumpkins. and if i hadnt, the ones at the store were 5 bucks or so…
I feel as though I need to admit that I used this comment more than once this week. Like when it was 4am and my computer froze and I lost most of my paper… or when they were out of vanilla silk at kroger…
I hope this doesn’t affect my standings.
i feel like the more you use it the higher up in the “standings” you go
“This is awesome, since clearly pumpkin is the little black romper of baking (Not perfect for every occasion, but DAMN so fine when done right). However, you guys, pumpkin is really expensive this year. There was a bad pumpkin crop or something, and it is ruining my life.”
… this is where pumpkin-lovers should live:
http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2010/09/pumpkin_crop_a_dandy_this_year.html
I think fresh pumpkins might be cheaper than a bag of frozen broccoli at Wegmans right now.
I’m about an hour from Syracuse. Win.
Also I love Wegmans.
I’m an hour from Syracuse too!
And the Tea Bar at my Wegmans is a very good place to meet the ladies.
Three generations of my family have shopped at Wegmans. It’s less about love and more about tradition for me.
I hope the fracking doesn’t go through. Otherwise, I think everyone in the Finger Lakes will be super deprived of fresh pumpkins. And, like, drinking water that doesn’t ignite.
a turkey of comment awards, my life’s purpose has been fulfilled, brb writing memoirs
Love love that you made a french verb out of straddle. I can just imagine it; “Eh on straddle tu la?”
I had an inexplainable desire to make that ‘On se straddle.’
Je me straddles and tu te straddles just sounds like you’re feeling yourself up or something.
I am.
+ 1.
i wish this smooth talking could transcend into real life. instead i end up sticking my hands in my pocket while making obscure references to harry potter
Hot.
all for you girl
you said i was the only one!
everybody can have some e
after i typed that i heard a techno rave beat in my head
(uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss)
The system is down. The system is down.
i like how the comment awards turned into an after hours party, meet me behind the speakers
after the party is the after party and after the after party is the hotel lobby
round about four you gotta clear the lobby, so you take it to your room and…
24 hour party people
i want some e as well…you pick up a controller yet?
i have a wii but i play guitar hero on it. WE WILL MAKE THIS WORK
yeah, you know how i feel about harry potter.
;) I need to go make some more pockets
All these comment awards do is make me think: MAN I GOTTA STOP DRINKING AND GO TO THOSE MEETINGS. YOU’RE NOT HELPING INTERNET STRANGERS. YOU’RE NOT (jk yes you are I love you, be my friend). NOT HELPING! (:D).
wtf, I don’t even remember typing that. :/
Would you happen to have an evil twin?
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA.
Oh my
I thought you died in that boating accident in 1994. WAS MY/OUR WHOLE LIFE A LIE?
Welp i’ll just leave you two at it then. ta
Please don’t. I’m pretty sure she tried to strangle me whilst in the womb. SOMEONE CALL THE COPS, RESTRAINING ORDER! RESTRAINING ORDER!
Oy veh i can’t tell if thats more or less terrifying than when i found out that wasnt your actual belly button
Your belly button isn’t really your belly button.
You were adopted!
You probably think that bunny is white, don’t you.
TSwizzle, you really need to stop drinking
I think it would be awesome to have autostraddle tee shirts with ‘award winner’ on them for the comment recipients.
Nice! Comment awards are totally like leveling up.
Congratulations, you’ve reached Level 17. A new ability “Awesomeness” is now available.
You, my friend, are a guild master and by the looks of it most likely to be found at a tavern swigging down some swill.
this party is out of control.
i was slightly saddened by the lack of harry potter in this weeks comment awards…but since today is monday i can safely assume that the next comment awards will be full on Harry Potter filled b/c it IS Harry Potter Day! (and yes i did take the whole day off work for this.)
I would like to take this opportunity to offer you the consolation prize that today, in art class, on a painting-identification test, there was a painting of seven women midair, and I had no idea what it was called.
I decided to call it Wingardium Leviosa. I eagerly await the results of such a wager.
sold.
NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HARRY =[