Feature Image via Getty Images/Drazen_

Welcome to the 66th edition of Into the A+ Advice Box, in which we answer all the queer and lesbian advice questions from A+ members who submitted their queries into our A+ ask box! Here, we answer your questions in a space just for A+ members, safe from the general public. (No guarantees regarding your ex, however.) Here, the Autostraddle team’s doling out advice on everything from sex and relationships, to friend and family dynamics, career questions, style, and more! We’re doing this column TWICE a month, now.

Every SECOND A+ Advice box of the month is themed, like this one! Next month’s theme is: HAIR. Hair cuts? Hair care? Hair styling? Hair dying? Let’s discuss it ALL. Queer hair is important! Get those questions into the A+ Priority Contact Box by Monday, September 12th so that we have plenty of time to answer them!!

The general Into the A+ Advice Box, where we take questions on practically any topic, publishes on the first Friday of each month, and you can send questions on any topic, at any time. That next one is September 2nd. Stay tuned!

So, now, let’s dig in!!

Q1:

I am AMAB enby, and dedicate a fair amount of time once a week to face and body hair removal. I don’t feel forced into doing it, I just feel my best with a clean and smooth meat suit!

That said, I am constantly struggling against ingrown hairs and razor burn, specifically on my sternum and neck (where there is thinner skin and less “give” for the razor). My hormone therapy has thinned the hair a bit, I exfoliate, I shave in the tub to keep everything good and hydrated, I moisturize after shaving, but I’m still left with a galaxy of inflamed little bumps. What skincare wizardry can help me??

Thank you!

A:

Sa’iyda: Razor burn and bumps are the worst, especially in those more sensitive areas. One of the easiest pieces of advice I have is make sure your razor is top notch. I really like Harry’s razors, the quality is great and now they’re super easy to find. If you’re using the razor all over your body, you will likely want to replace the blade more frequently as it’s working against hair of various consistencies.

A good shave cream is helpful too! Personally, I really like EOS, and it looks like they have a sensitive skin formula. That might be better for the areas that are more prone to razor burn and bumps.

Years ago, when I was getting bad razor burn and ingrowns in a sensitive area, my aesthetician suggested a product called Tend Skin to me. It’s a solution that helps reduce razor burn and ingrown hairs and it really does work. They do free samples on their website, so you can give it a try and see if you like it. I hope this helps!

Vanessa: I’m not sure if you definitely want to stick with shaving, in which case please ignore this advice, but I am a big fan of at-home waxing, partially because it really got rid of the ingrown hair/red bump situation for me. I leave most of my body hair alone, but I wax the hair the grows on my upper lip and the hair that grows on my chin/neck pretty regularly — like every 2-3 weeks I’d say? — because I do not like how it looks on me, and I never ever have a problem with ingrowns or bumps in the way that I used to when I shaved other parts of my body back in the day. I use the Sally Hansen at home wax strips — they come in all different sizes (you can buy the largest ones if you’re removing hair in large areas), you heat them up by rubbing them between the palms of your hand, and it truly could not be an easier learning curve process. I put some oil on the skin after waxing to get rid of the stickiness and then I’m good to go for a few weeks. I think if you’re open to something aside from shaving, this could be a good option!

Nico: Same as Vanessa, please disregard if you options besides shaving don’t appeal to you, but this video shows like 21 different methods for hair removal (here, on legs but still). I do recommend, like Vanessa, trying something like sugaring, waxing, threading (which I do not know how to do but which is supposed to be very non-irritating) that removes the hair follicle so that the whole thing has to grow back instead of shaving which leaves the root and a tiny cut off little hair in there, which may be more likely to cause ingrowns. I haven’t waxed anything in a long time, but I agree with Vanessa that the experience, though it hurts in the moment, winds up being pretty non-irritating in the long run. The only drawback is you need a little bit of hair growth in order to wax, which might not be what you’re looking for.

Q2:

Hello, this is for the skincare Advice Box! How do y’all remove your makeup? I have very sensitive skin but wearing makeup is actually fine, it’s its removal that irritates it. I try to be gentle, to not rub my skin and to use gentle cleansers but I still end up with irritated skin around my eyes afterwards. I don’t wear makeup as much as I would like to because honestly I don’t look forward to removing it, like not at all. Whatever advice you may have for me, thank you!

A:

Kayla: I swear by just a basic, cheap micellar water! You can also use it with one of these “makeup eraser” cloths (which say to just use water, but I think using micellar water with it is the better move to make sure you’re really removing everything).

Meg: Seconding micellar water! But since you mentioned very sensitive skin, I also want to suggest a gentle oil-based cleanser. Oils break up any sweat, dirt, sunscreen, and makeup that accumulates on your skin throughout the day, but don’t strip your skin of its own natural moisture and protection. You just get a little water on your hands, mix in some oil, and massage it into your skin before rinsing off. I love DHC Deep Cleansing Oil, and Burt’s Bees version is highly rated if you prefer a drugstore option. If this feels too messy, you might prefer a cleansing balm, which is just a more solid version of a liquid oil and can be even more soothing to cranky skin. Check out Farmacy’s Green Clean!

Julie: I’m a huge fan of oil cleansers and also balms for getting makeup off in a pinch. I’m a Hada Labo Gokujyun Oil Cleanser kinda gal myself. When I’m traveling or need a good cleanser to take on the road or in an airplane, I like the Heimish All Clean Balm because the packing is easier to store than a pump bottle and I can just swipe a cotton pad over the balm for instant results.

Vanessa: I have very sensitive skin and I like to remove my makeup with straight up oil. I have experimented with different kinds — sometimes I just use grapeseed or jojoba oil that I literally buy at Trader Joe’s, sometimes I use this Weleda Rose Oil, sometimes I use Buff City Unscented Shower Oil that I use all over my body in the shower, too — but I have the best results with it and for my particular skin the oil acts as a moisturizer too and does good stuff for me (I know some friends don’t like the oil option because it doesn’t fare well on their skin, so I’d recommend trying this on a small portion of your skin before committing to it).

Nico:: Whatever you use, I would also suggest taking the cotton pad / cloth / what-have-you and putting it on your [gently closed] eye and letting it soak in for like 30 seconds before gently rubbing. You’ll need to do less rubbing if you let the product get to work first.

Shelli:: I LOVE oil cleanser! I know some folks are scared of it because of the whole “you’re putting oil on your skin and clogging pores things” but that’s never been an issue for me and my pores are very much in the unclogged club. For cleansing (daily and to take off makeupI swear by one thing, the JUNO Clean 10 Cleansing Balm. It’s an oil based cleanser and it lasts for a while. Put a quarter size in your hand, warm it up and really get in there. It’s gentle on my eyes too for mascara and etc!

You can also go behind with a miceller water if you want but I usually do just a hot clean warm towel and I am good to go — plus, it’s only $15!!!

Q3:

Skincare question: sunscreen recs for a butch with oily skin on a budget? I rarely wear sunscreen on my face because I hate the heavy/greasy feeling, but I know I should be wearing it! Thanks y’all!

A:

Kayla: Neutrogena’s ultra sheer face serum genuinely goes on super light but still has a high enough SPF to get the job done. I wouldn’t say it’s CHEAP ($18 for a small bottle) but it’s cheaper than a lot of fancy face SPF products out there and does not feel greasy, and a little bit goes a long way!

Meg: Neutrogena has so many good options! I also love a spray sunscreen, particularly on the face, as it makes it a lot easier to reapply when you’re out and about on a hot day. Sun Bum makes a great SPF 30 facial mist that doesn’t leave a white cast and is under $20.

Darcy: I am a superfan of Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen, which is very light and sheer, and doesn’t dry out my skin or make me break out. That said, Supergoop is basically more expensive than gold (or printer toner), and I really can’t afford it. So I was VERY excited when I learned that Trader Joe’s now makes a Supergoop wannabe, with all of the same ingredients, and for a fraction of the price. The Trader Joe’s stuff is about $8 and I’ve been using it as a daily sunscreen all summer. I’m in love. (It’s SPF 40, but if you’re going to be outside all day long, I suggest reapplying to your face several times, and using something more hardcore for your body. Let my sunburn at the lake inform your choices!)

Vanessa: Just wanna co-sign Darcy! I have oily skin and have basically been looking for a perfect everyday sunscreen that won’t give me a white cast and doesn’t feel oily or make me breakout for YEARS, and I felt like I won the lottery when I found Supergoop… until I realized I would have to literally win the lottery to fund my Supergoop habit, aka trying to wear sunscreen every day. So when Darcy passed on the hot tip about TJ’s sunscreen, I literally jumped for joy. Join us, in the Fake Supergoop Trader Joe’s Sunscreen Cult. Welcome.

Julie Bioré UV Sunscreen all day. It’s light and the consistency is thin and watery which means it rubs in easily and leaves no whitecast. It doesn’t feel heavy and has the added bonus of being SPF 50+. Additionally, the innisfree Daily UV Defense Sunscreen is another great option for about $15. It leaves your skin feeling moisturized and feels lightweight upon application.

Stef Rubino: I have used a few different sunscreens on my face over the years, but the two that I find really work for me are CeraVe’s AM Facial Moisturizing Lotion with Sunscreen for everyday use and Hawaiian Tropic’s AntiOxidant+ Mist SPF 30 for when I’m spending the day outside or at the beach. They’re both oil free and the CeraVe one is also non-comedogenic, which makes it especially GREAT for oily skin. The Hawaiian Tropic one is in a spray bottle so it’s easy for re-application when you’re outside or going in the water or whatever. They run about $15 for the CeraVe and $9 for the Hawaiian Tropic but the bottles are a good size, and when I use the recommended amount, they last a while.

Q4:

For the Skincare/ Beauty advice Box! 💖🎉

Has anyone had success at making homemade body scrub that’s safe to use in the shower? I’ve tried various recipes over the years, and they almost always call for coconut oil which isn’t great for my shower/drain (makes surfaces slippery, clogs the pipes eventually, etc!). Any thoughts and tips appreciated! Maybe I just haven’t found the right coconut oil ratio recipe?

A:

Meg: I have a hard time with coconut oil in the shower too, so I actually make my body scrubs with olive oil and epsom salts! It’s especially great if you have stiff or sore muscles, and you can add essential oils or fragrance blends to make the scrub even more lovely for a quick in-shower massage. I mix by putting my epsom salts into a container (I tend to reuse those pint-sized plastic containers that you get takeout miso soup in, but you can use a jar or whatever else you prefer) and then gradually adding olive oil until I get the consistency I like. I tend to prefer a thicker scrub since it lessens the chance of a slick shower floor, but you can always add more oil if you want a looser result.

Q5:

Question for the skin care/beauty inbox that I vaguely feel like I remember y’all talking about before but I absolutely cannot find: how should I take care of the poor mistreated skin of my ass crack?? Listen. Real talk. I have a very hairy crack and all the dingleberry problems associated with that, but for various reasons I can’t install a bidet and I am morally opposed to those “flushable” wipes that wreck sewer systems, so I use, uh, a lot of TP. Which means my poor booty sometimes gets red and raw! Aside from the fact that the whole situation turns me off anal–and I love anal!–my skin deserves better. What do y’all do to keep your crack looking and feeling fine?

A:

Darcy: Hi! This isn’t truly a skincare answer, but if you really can’t install a bidet, you may want to use a handheld travel bidet! Travel bidets are essentially water bottles with purpose-made spigots at the top. There are electronic versions powered by batteries, but I love my very simple travel bidet that works manually (I just squeeze the bottle). My favorite travel bidet came from the evil website, but here are some similar ones they’re selling at Home Depot.

I know there are also some products where you can squeeze a bit of wipe-style soap onto your regular toilet paper before you use it, but for me, when it comes to feeling well and truly clean between the cheeks, there’s just nothing like rinsing off!

Vanessa: Okay, apparently I love just agreeing with Darcy, so I’m gonna go ahead and agree with Darcy first and foremost! I love my bidet. It fully changed the game when it comes to taking care of my very sensitive skin around my asshole. As a fat girl who sweats a lot and has very sensitive skin, even before I introduce poop and wiping, the skin between my asscheeks needs a lot of love and tender care. (Sometimes I cannot believe sharing this info is my literal job. What a world, what a world! Anyway!) I don’t know if “I can’t install a bidet” means that you are unable to with the current housing and/or toilet set up you have, or if it means you don’t think you are capable of it, so just incase it’s the latter, I want to really cheerlead you that YOU CAN! And if you personally cannot, I do think it’s worth it to pay someone or barter labor with someone to come do it for you. I am evangelical about my bidet, clearly. But okay, let’s say that’s not an option. I think Darcy’s suggestion to use a manual handheld bidet is a great one. The bidet I purchased is from Tushy and they have a travel option that seems like it might do the trick. Also, I’d like to suggest using a very gentle soap in the shower when you’re washing your butt. I noticed that when I used Dove Sensitive Skin bar soap my ass got very dry and uncomfortable, but when I switched to Good Clean Love Balance Moisturizing Wash (for yeast infection prevention reasons) suddenly my ass felt MUCH better. It’s gotten to the point where I will not travel without that specific body cleanser because my butt gets so uncomfortable if I don’t use it. I’d also like to suggest diaper rash cream. If you feel your asshole region getting dry or irritated, the best thing you can do is cover it — either with petroleum jelly or with zinc-based cream — so it can heal. When I feel that raw chafing feeling (on my butt or on my labia tbh) I make sure to cover the area with either Vaseline, Aquaphor, or Aquaphor Diaper Rash Cream liberally before bed, and then leave it on the next day. This is a lot of info but I’d say the main takeaway should be: Use as much water/rinsing for cleaning your butt as possible, use as little toilet paper/rough stuff on your butt as possible, if you feel yourself sweating or chafing for any reason go rinse yourself off, use a gentle cleanser in the shower, and if you do end up with some raw skin cover it up with a barrier until it can heal itself. GOOD LUCK LOVE YOU!

Shelli:: You might be talking about one of the pieces from Butt Week! I am not really a hairy person but I do have an ass so I thought I’d take a stab at this! It sounds like you might just need to get aquainted with a bidet. They help keep things extra clean and folks love them. I really want one from Tushy and I don’t know the reasons behind your not installing them but why not start with a travel one just like everyone else is saying!!?! Tushy has one and I am sure lots of other places do to but maybe a travel one is perfect for you ‘cos when you’re on the go and maybe headed for a hookup, you’ll have it in your bag, can get hella clean hella quick in a hotties bathroom and be nice and ready for butt stuff!!

Also, maybe carrying around some of those flushable wipes and giving them another try. I mean, if you’re not stuffing like 8 million down the toilet I think they are okay. And with the combination of the travel bidet and a wipe after it should leave you feeling extra clean and extra ready!

KaeLyn: Just want to double down on Vanessa’s suggestion of using, essentially, diaper rash creams or products for chafed cheeks. I only recently figured this out by treating actual diaper rash and realizing that these products could, indeed, help my butt, too in the hot, sweaty summer months. I highly recommend Aquaphor Baby Healing Ointment, which is extra gentle and goes on like a thin gel, with mineral oil and lanolin oil as the base. It helps keep sweaty or raw skin from rubbing and retains the moisture barrier of the chafed skin so it can heal. If you’re having a lot of chafing or redness, what is effectively a diaper rash, I can’t recommend enough Boudreaux’s Butt Paste, a thick, white paste with zinc oxide to calm redness and itch andd keep your butt nice and dry. Because it’s a paste, it has excellent staying power and immediately calms painful or itchy skin. More than the Aquaphor, it can rub off on your clothes, so be aware of your undergarments.

Q6:

For the A+ inbox about skincare. I used to have a skincare routine and I did it pretty religiously until a long bout of depression, and now I haven’t done it in months, even as I’m on a medication that dries out my skin horribly and I could use it more than ever. Any tips on keeping up with a skincare routine?

A:

Meg: My top recommendation for keeping up with a skincare routine is to keep it simple, and to find products that genuinely feel good when you apply and use them! Especially if your skin is dry from medication, you don’t need to be piling on a bunch of new products and risk irritating it further. The most important things you can do to take care of sensitive skin are to keep it clean, keep it protected, and keep it hydrated. Wear sunscreen when you’ll be dealing with sun exposure, give your face a gentle wash at the end of the day, and put on a soothing moisturizer after cleansing. I promise that it doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.

You may need to experiment with finding which kinds of products you like, but to get you started: my favorite recommendations for cranky or agitated skin are Cetaphil cleansers and First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream, which is my holy grail recommend-to-everyone face and body lotion. If you want a more natural pick, Weleda’s Skin Food comes in both light and ultra-rich options, depending on how thick of a product you like. Neutrogena and Supergoop both make a very wide variety of sunscreens, depending on if you like facial mists, lotions, or a one-and-done SPF moisturizer to wear during the day.

Sometimes taking care of ourselves can be really hard, especially with the state of the world and mental health struggles, so I just want to affirm that even if you don’t do something for your skin every single day, even cleansing and moisturizing a few times a week will already have an impact. Developing a routine takes time, so please try to be gentle with yourself!

Shelli:: My tips are giving yourself some grace and utilizing an alarm. Set it for the same time everyday that you wanna do your routine. Don’t label it something mean (some folks do that as motivation to do whatever it is but that aint my ministry), just label it like “Skincare Time!” with a smiley face. And then in that moment, try your hardest to get up and do it, maybe even have a playlist that you make for it, or make a Youtube playlist of videos to have on during it, or even just a podcast — or silence if that is what helps you vibe.

Just have that alarm so you can make the decision to get up to do your routine or to ignore it and try again the next day. But try to be mindful of the fact that it is something you need to do to take care of yourself and your skin, but don’t be so mean to yourself if you just can’t do it.

KaeLyn: Lazy femme, reporting for duty! I have to wash my face at bedtime and in the morning or my whole vibe is off and I feel yucky. However, I don’t always have or want to make the time to do a whole elaborate routine for a multitude of reasons. Time to do my skincare stuff is a luxury and most days, I’m just trying to get through the waking hours.

May I suggest a very simple routine, which is what I’ve adopted, of a cleanser and an all-in-one moisturizer and that’s it? I also stash a facial cleanser in my downstairs and upstairs bathrooms, so I have options if I’m in a rush in the morning, especially.

Lastly, I always have some facial wipes on hand. Some days or nights, all I can find time for is a quick wipe away of the day. The best part about facial wipes is you don’t have to rinse them! Just wipe, throw away and you’re good to go. I tend to use clarifying wipes, but since you have dry skin, you probably want something moisturizing. These Neutrogena Hydroboost Cleansing Wipes remove the detritus of the day and deliver some moisturizing hyaluronic acid. These Shea Moisture Daily Hydration Facial Wipes have coconut oil and aloe to give you some deep moisture. See if facial wipes work for your skin and, if so, I recommend having some by wherever you typically get stuck–maybe by your bed, so they’re easy to grab.

Be gentle with yourself and with your skin! Whatever you can manage is great and anything you can do to make the steps simpler and faster will help you actually do the thing!

Q7:

Hello! I have two questions for the skincare advice box. 1) Should I be wearing sunscreen to work from home? My apartment has good light but if I’m not going outside… 2) Currently I use a cetaphil face bar, toner, and sunscreen, but I know I should probably add a moisturizer in there, especially at night. Do you have any favorite moisturizers/should I add any other things to my routine? I think I have regular or combination skin which sometimes gets hormonal acne but I’m otherwise pretty happy with.

A:

Kayla: Ok damn well lit apartment BRAG. Jk jk jk. Honestly, you probably don’t NEED to have it on every day unless you’re spending a lot of time close to the window, but it also doesn’t hurt. If you wear makeup, you can just incorporate products that have SPF, like a primer with a low SPF or a finishing spray like my personal favorite, Coola. You can also work it into your morning skincare routine and use a daily moisturizer that has SPF. OK JK I AM BEING TOLD THAT EVERYONE SHOULD BE WEARING SUNSCREEN INDOORS SO I GUESS YOU DO /NEED/ IT OK GONNA GO RETHINK MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Meg: I have absolutely gotten a sunburn while sitting inside so I really do get this! Sunscreen every day is an important rule of thumb for everyone, regardless of skin type, so I can’t in good conscience tell you NOT to wear it. (I buy facial lotions that have SPF in them and just wear them every day, even if I’m not sure whether or not I’ll be leaving the house.) For your second question: a facial moisturizer is a great thing to add, for basically every skin type! If you’re already using a toner and sunscreen, pay attention to how your skin feels throughout the day after using those products — does your skin get tight or dry throughout the day? Does it get oily or shiny at all? Or do you just have a lovely glow and feel comfortable? Moisturizers come in so many types, so I usually recommend starting with something light and working your way up, unless you know for sure that your skin is incredibly dry. First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream and Cerave Daily Moisturizing Lotion are great options for most skin types.

Darcy: Ok well I’ve never thought about wearing sunscreen indoors before but my work desk sits in a window and I sure am now! Thanks, friend!

Vanessa: Rachel Kincaid, former managing editor of this very site and light of my life/boss of my skincare routine, told me you have to wear sunscreen every single day even if you are just sitting inside because A. windows, B. it’s likely that you will pop outside just for a minute at some point, C. good habit to get into, D. if you start introducing anything more complicated to your skincare routine (like retinols — I haven’t done this yet so I don’t actually know what that means but maybe you do, lol) your skin will be much more prone to burning so it’s best to just get into this routine now and that way when/if you do add products that would require this of you it’s not a big shock. So tl;dr, yes wear sunscreen every day no matter what.

As for moisturizers, you seem very into Cetaphil, so if you like the way those products make your skin feel, I’d stick with that brand. That said, I switched over to CeraVe (per Rachel’s instruction, yes) and I love the daily moisturizer. So if you’re open to trying a new brand, I’d vote for that!

Ashni: 1) Yes!! You should absolutely be wearing sunscreen indoors, especially if you have a lot of natural light (windows don’t protect against all UV light). Plus, this way if someone invites you to a last-minute outdoor soiree, you’re all set. 2) My favorite moisturizer happens to have SPF in it – the LaRoche-Posay ​​Toleriane Double Repair Facial Moisturizer with SPF 30 – so it’s a nice two-for-one, plus the SPF 30 is fine for me if I’m indoors. You could also try the Neutrogena Hydro Boost Gel-Cream with Hyaluronic Acid for Extra-Dry Skin, it’s got a great texture. I love Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cream with Squalane in the winter, especially at night (it doesn’t play super well underneath makeup unless you use primer over it).

Shelli:: I’m horrible with sunscreen so I am going to answer part 2 and quietly judge myself for not having an answer to part 1. I swear by Glossiers Priming Moisturizer. Yes, it is a really nice buildible moisturizer for under makeup (or you can drop a bit of your foundation in it and use it as a simple like BB cream) but also, it’s perfect for use all on it’s own.

I use it as my main moisturizer for day and night and at night, I add in two drops of The Ordinary’s Hyaluronic Acid 2% for an extra boost of hydration.

I have mostly oily skin and this doesn’t clog even when I am sweating and baby EYE FUCKING SWEAT!!!!

KaeLyn: I was today years old when I learned I should be wearing sunscreen indoors, so…

Q8:

I have PCOS and even though I’m in my thirties, my fucked up hormones mean that I have the oiliest, greasiest skin in the world. I wear a mattifying primer (either the Honest Beauty one or Milk Makeup blur stick) every day under my makeup (just sunscreen + concealer), and powder on top, and I still have to blot my face with those little overpriced papers like five times a day. Any tips or product recs to tame these enthusiastically juicy pores, or do I just lean into my ~naturally dewy skin~?

A:

Meg: Oily skin can be really frustrating! This might sound counter-intuitive, but are you cleansing your face and using a light oil-free moisturizer? Often people with oily or acne-prone skin tend to skip these steps, or use harsher products that strip all of the moisture out of your skin — but this ends up backfiring, as your skin freaks out about all of the oil that it made going missing and just makes MORE to compensate. If you aren’t already, I highly recommend grabbing a gentle cleanser and lightweight moisturizer (Neutrogena, Cetaphil, and Cerave are excellent drugstore options) and integrating them into your routine.

My skin is cranky and parched and soaks up moisture like a sponge, so I’ll leave additional product recommendations to my brilliant coworkers!

Sa’iyda: Oily skin is such a pain. As someone who has always had fairly juicy skin (I love that way of phrasing it and I’m stealing it, so thanks) I have tried many products over the years. My skin is still fairly juicy, but I’ve found some great products to help keep it manageable at least. My number one is face cleanser! For me, that’s the key to controlling the oils in my face.

Like Meg said above, it’s easy to go the route of completely stripping your skin of any oil, but your face will revolt. Many cleansers for oily skin tend to strip the skin of oils, but I found one that doesn’t. It’s the Find Your Balance Oil Control Cleanser by OLEHENRIKSEN. It is my absolute favorite and I have been using it for at least four years now. I will never switch. It makes your skin feel clean without stripping it of the necessary oil. It’s expensive (a standard 5 oz bottle is $32) but it lasts because you only need a pea sized amount.

A good face mask that you can use a couple times a week is also a good thing to have in your arsenal. I am loving the Cookies N Clean face mask from Fenty Skin; it has salicylic acid and activated charcoal to combat shine and get your pores to work less hard. Again, it’s pricey, but it’s worth it.

Ashni: Hello, fellow PCOS person!! You could absolutely embrace the natural dew. You could try niacinamide if you’re open to serums! I’ve noticed it helps somewhat with my oil production. Echoing Meg and Sa’iyda’s suggestions of ensuring you’re not stripping all the natural moisture out of your skin!

Shelli: HIIIIII!!! Just like you and Ashni, I too have thee PCOS! It sucks (for like a million and two reasons BUT I am here to suggest that you lean in. I have tried everything and I get so fucking sick of dabbing my skin and giving my monies to things to stop my oil. I consider it a lil extra dewy and like a natural highlight. BUT ALSO if you have days where you just ain’t tryna lean in, i would definitely follow Ashni’s recommendation of Niacinamide. I use The Ordinary’s with my moisturizer under my make-up if I don’t want an extra dewy day and it works well!

Q9:

Any advice on dealing with hormonal acne? I get monthly breakouts on my chin and lower part of my face that are pretty tough to get rid of. I am not on hormonal birth control and not interested in trying that. I’ve been using an Aveeno brand cleanser with salicylic to wash my face, but are there any other products/routines I should be trying? Dietary changes? Are those gummy vitamins I always see ads for that promise to help hormonal acne just a total scam? I live in a fairly hot and humid part of the world and I feel like the usual skincare advice does NOT work for me…I’m not gonna wash my face less or start moisturizing in the summertime, that would just make me break out even worse.

A:

Meg: Hormonal acne is tough (I’ve had it since I was a teenager and still deal with it at 36, and it’s the main reason that I sought employment at multiple beauty companies in my 20s), and if the things that you’ve been trying aren’t working, the best suggestion that I can give you is to see a dermatologist. Additionally, I’ve known multiple people who have reduced or removed dairy products from their diet with good results, so if you have a diet that’s high in cheese, milk, or other lactose-based products, reducing your intake overall can help. And if your breakouts are consistent with your period cycle, drinking spearmint tea in the days before you usually develop new pimples can sometimes help to calm skin down.

In terms of actual skincare, I know you’ve already said that you don’t want to stop washing your face less or start using moisturizer, but unfortunately those truly are some of your best solutions. When skin is stressed, especially if you live in a hot and humid climate (which often then also includes spending time going in and out of air conditioning), skin does everything that it can to balance itself out. That balance can take a lot of forms, but when it’s getting dehydrated from external factors, it tends to create oil to help provide a layer of protection. And if you’re washing your face multiple times a day and not then replenishing all of that lost moisture, your skin is only going to overcompensate and create even more oil. Hormonal acne isn’t directly related to skin’s oil and sebum production, but overdrying your skin can lead to excess irritation, which can in turn lead to (you guessed it) more breakouts. It’s a difficult cycle, and if you’ve been stripping your skin like this for a long time, it will take awhile for your skin to bounce back.

Introducing new products or product types to your routine can be a long and frustrating process, but I would encourage you to try washing your face no more than twice a day, and to start consistently using a very light moisturizer afterwards. Neutrogena’s oil-free moisturizers are incredibly gentle and won’t clog your pores, which makes them a great place to begin, but you can also check out Cerave and Weleda for other lightweight options. You mentioned using a salicylic acid cleanser, but if you aren’t happy with the results, you might find better success by switching to a cleanser with glycolic acid or lactic acid. Both will still offer the same kind of chemical exfoliation, but some skin responds better to some acids than others. When you’re actually in the midst of a breakout, I really love pimple patches, and for those painful under-the-surface zits, try ones with microdarts or microneedles .

I know this is not the answer that you want to hear, but these skincare methods are recommended so often for a reason — they really do help! Give these more than a week to work, as most skincare shifts take at least eight weeks to have an noticeable impact. Even if you don’t see a quick or direct reduction of breakouts, your overall skin health will be better, and you will almost certainly see some long-term improvement.

Sa’iyda: Seconding everything Meg said above! Washing your face twice a day with a cleanser that will help balance your oil and not strip your skin (i recommended it above, but I will put it here too) like Find Your Balance Oil Control Cleanser by OLEHENRIKSEN will help to get oil under control.

I know you’re anti moisturizer, but you really should reconsider, especially if you’re washing your face frequently. You need to replenish some of the moisture you’re stripping from the multiple washings. I used this one from Thayers for years. It’s very lightweight and won’t clog your pores. I live in Los Angeles, and it’s hot and my face gets sweaty and it never runs or feels gross.

Skincare when you have acne prone skin is 100 percent trial and error and it can be a flipping nightmare. I know how much that sucks. I hope you find stuff that really works for you!

Ashni: I developed hormonal acne in my early 20s, and have had it ever since. I used to be a big skincare junkie, and honestly, I think I made my acne worse by cycling through products and not giving my skin time to adjust. The only thing that worked for me was seeing a dermatologist. Like you, I didn’t want to go on hormonal birth control. My derm suggested prescription topicals, and at first – the adjustment period was ROUGH. My skin purged for 2-3 weeks, it was somehow dry and oily at the same time, and it felt like it was getting worse before it got better (which is apparently common with retinoids but still sucked for me!!). Sticking with a consistent routine helped, though! Now, I just get the occasional pimple or two right before my period – and with pimple stickers, they calm down within a few days, max.

I have heard anecdotally that cutting out dairy can help, but I haven’t tried it personally (at least not long-term). Weirdly, I did stop drinking oat milk and noticed I wasn’t breaking out as much? My partner also noticed the same with their skin. I also change my pillowcases and sheets religiously, which has helped a ton. Other than that, I stick to the absolute bare minimum when it comes to my skincare routine – a gentle, hydrating face wash, moisturizer, SPF in the mornings, and my prescription stuff at night.

Stef Rubino: There are some really great suggestions here, so I won’t add too much more. Like Ashni, my hormonal acne didn’t start until my early 20s, and before then, I had gotten maybe like one pimple on my face in my whole life. I live in South Florida, so “hot and humid” is my whole life. I try not to do anything too heavy on my face, and I try not to be too aggressive with my routine because I think that exacerbates the acne when it does come. For the most part, I stick to the basics: a salicylic acid cleanser in the morning, a hydrating cleanser at night, a moisturizer with SPF for the daytime, and a regular moisturizer for the evening. Generally, this keeps the break outs away. I will say, though, I used to use all Aveeno products all the time and it never helped with my hormonal acne. As of right now, I’m using the CeraVe family of products, and I think the switch has helped tremendously. My breakouts are rare and not nearly as bad as they used to be. I use the Acne Control Cleanser in the morning, the Hydrating Facial Cleanser at night, and the AM Facial Moisturizing Lotion with Sunscreen in the morning. The only thing I use that isn’t CeraVe is my nighttime moisturizer, which is the First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream because I think it just feels nicer for bed. You absolutely could use the CeraVe PM version of the moisturizing lotion to keep it all in the same family; it’s oil-free and has niacinamide, which is good for reducing redness and inflammation from acne.

Q10:

For the skincare advice box:

Does anyone have tips for treating/living with Keratosis pilaris? I’ve had it on my arms since I was a teen (20yrs ago!) and have never really attempted to treat it or take care of this part of my body in a real, consistent way. Any tips, advice, thoughts, favorite products, resources appreciated! Thank you!!

A:

Meg: I have KP on my arms too and it drives me bananas. I’ve mostly compensated by getting a lot of tattoos, but there are a few products you can also try: Amlactin and other lactic-acid based moisturizers work to help gently clean out the clogged pores that leads to bumpy, uneven skin, and while they don’t smell great, they have been the most effective way to integrate chemical exfoliation into my body skincare routines. A lot of brands make physical exfoliants that also include these kind of chemical exfoliating ingredients, which can be a great way to treat on multiple fronts at once — just be careful not to overdo it. My favorite is Dermadoctor’s KP Duty, but I’ve also been wanting to try Kopari’s KP Body Bumps Be Gone.

Julie: I’ve also been dealing with KP on my arms and legs since I was a kid. Like Meg, I’ve also compensated by getting tattoos in those places, but I’ve found that the best way to take care of my KP is by getting into some semblance of a routine. Once or twice a week I’ll use First Aid Beauty’s KP Bump Eraser Body Scrub while I’m showering. If you like scented scrubs, I recommend Nécessaire’s Body Exfoliator in Eucalyptus — again only using it a couple times a week or as much as you think your skin can handle. After I shower, I’ll lather up with whatever unscented lotion my girlfriend has around. If you’re looking for something specific I like the generic CeraVe Daily Moisturizing Lotion or any EltaMD body moisturizing product. I think it’s the perfect balance of washing off your dead skin and making sure that you’re giving your KP the moisture it needs to rebuild. Find a routine that works for you and make sure to hydrate enough!

Vanessa: I also struggle with this! I’ve honestly not done any MAJOR work toward treating it, rather just accepting it and living with it and occasionally picking at it (which I would NOT recommend, lol) but I noticed this year that adding a shower oil to my full body moisturizing routine made a pretty significant difference in no longer dealing with those frustrating bumps. I wanted to up my moisturizing routine and got a hot tip from Minda Honey to add Buff City unscented shower oil to my life, and I can’t recommend it enough. I’ve always had dry skin, even when I moisturize my entire bod regularly, and the shower oil really locks in moisture in a way nothing else ever has. I’ve also heard really good things about Lush’s Dream Cream for treating KP but I haven’t personally tried it yet.

Darcy: Vanessa is reminding me that on Meg’s recommendation a couple of years ago, I tried Lush’s Angels on Bare Skin for my KP, and while it didn’t decrease my redness (my skin is just…always red, this is my life), it absolutely transformed the texture of my skin! The first day especially, the results were phenomenal, my skin was softer than I could ever remember it being.

Meg: Darcy! Angels on Bare Skin is such a lovely cleanser, I’m so glad it helped for this!!

KaeLyn: Damn, I can’t believe so many of us are in the KP club. I have it and I passed it on to my kid–cool! I also haven’t spent too much time worrying about it and mostly just let it be. That said, I’ve found that moisturizing consistently makes a huge difference. Plain ol’ Gold Bond Ultimate Healing Hand and Body Lotion does the trick for me and makes my skin, evne where I have KP on my arms, much smoother. It’s not greasy and absorbs well and lasts several hours and the price point is very reasonable at $13 for a big pump bottle. I really can’t stand the feel of heavy creams on my skin, so this lotion is a perfect and basic option for me. Amlactin also shows dramatic results quickly, but it’s just too thick and, like, sticky feeling for me.

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