Feature image photo by Crystal Sing / EyeEm via Getty Images

One of the best things about being a parent is Halloween. More specifically, Trick or Treating. My kiddo is at an age where I can’t pick out his costume anymore, but he’s still really into getting candy. He’s finally got to a point where he’s not too shy to actually go up to a house and ask for it. We usually Trick or Treat for about an hour, and let me tell you, by the end, he has quite a haul. Because he doesn’t like a lot of candy, I get to reap the rewards of his hard work.

Being a self-proclaimed candy connoisseur, there are certain candies I’m more interested in than others. I’ve been known to tell my son to try and grab certain candies because they’re my favorite, and I want to make sure I get one. Yes, I know I can just buy them, but damn it, I’ve schlepped this kid around for an hour, the least I should get is some free candy. In the interest of posterity, I’m making an official ranking of my favorite candy to steal from my kid’s Trick or Treat bag in no particular order.

Snickers

For me, there are few better candy bars than a Snickers, especially when it’s fun-size. It’s the most perfect bite of chocolate, caramel, nougat and peanuts. Okay so full confession: When I’m eating a Snickers, I like to take a bite, suck off the chocolate and then eat the rest. It’s a lot easier to do with a fun-size bar, or those little Snickers cubes. I rarely have Snickers anymore, so I’m really excited to get a couple in the ol’ Trick or Treat bucket.

Twizzlers

I have yet to meet a Twizzler I didn’t like. (Actually, I don’t care for those filled ones.) But those little fun-size ones are really perfect. Sometimes, I don’t want a whole long Twizzler, and these little nugget sized ones are great for a quick hit. They taste a little rubbery sometimes, but that’s just the nature of eating Twizzlers honestly. When you’re Trick or Treating, beware of the stale nugget Twizzlers. They’re tough to chew, but they’re still worth it.

Reese’s Pieces

Reese’s Pieces are better than plain M&Ms. You can fight me, but don’t bother because I will win. They’re peanut butter in a candy coated shell! They don’t really melt! It’s great! My kiddo doesn’t like peanut butter, so anything with peanut butter is automatically mine, but even if he did, I would sneak at least one little bag of these because they’re so good. Like crunchy peanut butter, but even better, because the crunch is candy and not peanuts. Gimme all the bags.

Tootsie Rolls

I love chocolate, and I love chewy candy. Chocolate chewy candy? Sign. Me. Up. Ever since I was a kid myself, I loved a Tootsie Roll. You pop them in your mouth and chew, and unlike gum, you can swallow them and they don’t lose their flavor. And what’s even better is that they come in two different sizes. No matter the size, they’re so yummy. I will also accept a Tootsie Pop (my kiddo likes those, so we have to share and I only like certain flavors) — but do NOT give me those weird fruit-flavored ones.

Twix

Another confession: One year, I bought a bag of fun-size Twix in a post-Halloween sale because there were none in my kiddo’s Trick or Treat bag. One of the main reasons I always steal them is because they’re the perfect size. I actually think a regular size Twix is too much. More fun-size Twix, please!

Peanut M&Ms

My kid loves regular M&Ms, so I can never get my hands on those (he will occasionally give me a couple, but that’s it). However, since he doesn’t like peanuts, if these find their way into his bucket, they’re all mine. Peanut M&Ms are the second best kind of M&Ms (peanut butter always) but they’re the easiest to come by, and that’s why I love them. They’re crunchy and have that salty/sweet combo that is just so perfect. There’s something more hearty about them, too.

Smarties

I feel like these are my ultimate nostalgia candies. When I was a kid, we got these after dance class, and my friend and I would eat them in the backseat of her mom’s station wagon. We called them our medicine because they are weirdly pill-like. They have that chalkiness and ambiguous flavor. Like, they don’t really taste like anything but sweet, and even then, they’re not overly sweet. But I still love them so much.

Dots

These are weird candies. Again, they’re one of those ones that I love because of my mom. They’re kind of like gum drops, but more chewy and not covered in sugar. They have individual flavors and, for the most part, they actually taste like what they’re supposed to. They’re less common, but I know some of those bargain candy bags have them, and I will happily accept them.

Mr. Goodbar

Mr. Goodbar is the MVP of the Hershey’s miniature bag. If you haven’t already figured it out, I love the combination of peanuts and chocolate. I absolutely love Hershey’s chocolate bars, and Mr. Goodbar is such a good vehicle for the chocolate/peanut combo. It’s so fucking good. I buy the XL ones when I see them at the grocery store, but whenever these come up in a Trick or Treat bucket? I will eat them ALL.

Nestle’s Crunch

It’s hard to find Nestle’s Crunch bars in the wild nowadays, but you can always count on seeing them in a Halloween candy mix. These have always been in my top five candy bars. Like with Snickers, I like to suck all the chocolate off and then eat the puffed rice. I know, I’m a weirdo. I also like them slightly melted, so I’ve been known to warm them under my thigh.

What’s your favorite Halloween candy?

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