Q:
Hi Autostraddle,
I would like some advice on lingerie for a woman with abundant pubic hair! I want a couple of cute, relatively low-budget bra/panties sets. Finding a pretty bra is relatively easy. However, I feel like I haven’t figured out what to do by way of pretty underwear. I don’t shave or trim my pubic hair, which is important to me, and I have a fair amount of body hair – pubic hair noticeably extends down my upper thighs. (P.S. being queer saved me from so much shame abt this!). The thing is, I feel like a lot of pretty, feminine lingerie bottoms are kind of high cut in a way that just looks weird with pubic hair sticking out. I do wear boxers from the boy’s section a lot of the time, but I’m looking for something that’s pretty & sexy in a femme way here. Perhaps ideally with vibes that say “I’m into sadomasochism…” What cuts/styles of lingerie bottoms or pretty/sexy underwear are femmes with abundant pubic hair rocking? Examples, brands? Or, words of confidence?
Gaily,
A Bottom on the East Coast
A:
Now this is a fun question. I’m glad you felt strongly enough to ask because these kinds of questions always send me on the most fun research trips.
For one, you’re correct that many of the lingerie cuts currently in fashion are cut high. Higher cuts favour an angled shape that creates an elongated, pointed triangle in the groin area. This design has been shaped by a willingness to show more skin with lingerie, grooming trends that favor deforestation, and the everlasting goal of creating a thinner silhouette. All of these factors speak to what kind of bodies are regrettably ‘on-trend’ this decade.
As for your needs, how you choose to showcase or wear your pubic hair alongside lingerie will very much depend on your goals. I’m glad you mentioned a slightly sadomasochistic, femme vibe because otherwise, I’d be at a loss. I’d be off Googling things while wondering if you wanted to bear it all, just have it all in one place, or do something completely different.
I used your mention of boxers as a starting point, since I felt that they provide coverage of the pubic hair that wasn’t abruptly sawn off by an aggressive seam line. I mean ‘coverage’ as in encompassing the hair, not concealing it. To that end, shorts are a very real option. A pair like this gives the cohesion of boxers with a feminine twist. Reaching deeper into vintage cuts can give us ideas that are bouncy, feminine, and downright comfy looking. A contemporary take on this is form-fitting and emphasizes comfort. If you want to keep the theme of shorts while showing off your pubic hair, go translucent. Mesh and lacy translucence are my faves for making something revealing while feigning modesty.
While I’m on the topic of showcasing, I think there’s something to be said for letting your pubic hair spill past the boundaries of underwear. My logic here is that if the abundance of pubic hair makes you feel hot, then it’s even hotter when clothing can’t even contain it anymore. Lingerie bottoms with cutouts are made for showcasing. This pair was designed with pubic hair in mind for the heart-shaped window, but I see no reason that it shouldn’t be worn with hair pushing past the underwear itself. There’s so little fabric there that I think wearers are expected to grow their hair past it.
If you wanted to get some of that ‘spillover’ effect, one way to make it feel less ‘cropped off’ is mesh. Mesh panties such as these provide a transition between skin and panties that doesn’t visually cut off the pubic hair. The hair becomes a continuous feature of the view, whether someone is seeing your skin or the underwear. If you want to remove all pretense while technically still having some kind of ‘bottoms’, you can just go full crotchless. Crotchless underwear is a favorite of mine, but worthy of an entire article unto themselves. Or a reverse crotchless situation, like the For Them jockless strap.
As for a dedicated sadomasochistic vibe, I had three thoughts. First, anything can be styled for BDSM if you add leather accessories, BDSM-wear or a suitably kinky partner. ‘Ordinary’ lingerie takes on a whole different tone when worn with a body harness or collar. My other ideas involved leaning into the femme aesthetic or the leather aesthetic.
I’m surely not the first person to wear a lace garter belt with thigh-highs and just leave the groin exposed. This plays really well into my kinky side because my partners can enjoy the view and fuck me without obstructions. If the last line of hesitation between your pubes and underwear is the seam, just ditch the seam and go bare. Let the negative space between the garter and stockings send a firm message. A garter belt with thigh-highs may sound ‘standard’, but it’s really about who’s wearing it and the message they’re trying to send.
The leather-leaning alternative to the above suggestion is just to wear a BDSM harness as your bottoms and expose the rest. Like this example, but without the panties. Same concept: let your pubic hair provide the coverage and vaporize the idea of a ‘cut’ or ‘seam’ entirely. There’s been an explosion in body harnesses (styled kinky or as part of daily fashion) that you can take advantage of, including handmade leather and vegan leather options. I like the strappy ones most.
Okay whew. That really sated my love for lingerie window shopping, so thanks. It’ll be a case of finding a cut or vibe you feel strongly about and searching along those lines. That’s why I’ve tried to present the whole range from coverage to full exposure and given my rationale every step of the way. We’re talking about your needs, so you’ll have to make the last decision. If you want a more personal touch, try /r/LingerieAddiction. It’s a subreddit for lingerie procurement, styling, and discussion. Very inclusive, very enthusiastic. I like them.
You have my thanks for this adventure. I got to think about pubic hair in a different light. And for the first time, I had to think about styling with pubic hair rather than against it. I’m forever glad that there are people like you out there who challenge these emotionally costly norms and give the rest of us something to think about. I hope you find exactly what you’re looking for.
You can chime in with your advice in the comments and submit your own questions any time.
