Cowboy Clairvoyant is a new members-only newsletter and series by Autumn Fourkiller featuring dream interpretation, tarot answers, and more ventures into the Beyond.

Dear Dreamers,

Howdy. How’s your week been? Seriously, tell me all about it, for mine has truly run the gamut between all the horrors and really affirming moments, which, as I’m sure you know, is kind of expected these days. On a positive note, my sourdough starter is thriving; I started reading Love Me Tender by Constance Debré; and I made a really delicious bone broth rice bowl with Trader Joe’s bulgogi, kimchi from my FAVORITE market, a fried egg, roasted broccoli and mushrooms, and a little sesame oil/sesame seeds/and seaweed as a garnish and had it for dinner last night in front of a cozy YouTube vlog with both of the cats snoozing on my lap. Truly bliss.

On a slightly more somber note, I’m leaving my government day job amidst what most would call a “precarious” economic climate, all in order to take a two month period to write, write, write (I mean, also because I can no longer morally live with myself by staying). At least that’s the hope. If nothing else, I’ll have bread and homemade oat milk to sustain me.

Speaking of, is it just me or have y’all also been (day)dreaming in the domestic recently? I’ve always thought of myself as a relative housecat, aside from my deep love of nature and the land, but as of late I’ve been really considering: Okay, what skills do I need to make an amazing contributor to the communal living compound/kept boy, and how do I learn to make everything from scratch including butter? Maybe that is partly practical, but I feel like it is also deeply rooted in the vision I have for my life, one I almost never thought possible.

And yet here we are, and here we are together.

Yours in April Floured Bliss,
Cowboy

P.S. Next on my list is The Secret Lives of Church Ladies. I think this song is super fun. These are delicious and expensive.

I had a dream recently where I was a kid in early 1900s Paris participating in a bike race with other Parisian children except one of the racers was a groundhog on a little bicycle. I was the fastest racer but the groundhog tried cheating to beat me by taking a shortcut to reach the finish line first. The judges saw this and ruled me the winner. I’m curious what this dream could mean, I’m not French, I’ve never been to Paris, I don’t like riding bicycles, and why was a groundhog there?
– Julia 

Hi Julia,

Thank you for the gift of your dream. While I cannot say that this dream is a sign from the Beyond, I do think it is an excellent example of what exactly the brain can come up with, and how we can use these seemingly unrelated symbols to plumb our subconscious. In the interest of answering your other question, first let me offer a little backstory on the noble groundhog. Indigenous to North America, the groundhog, or woodchuck, not only helps provide habitats for other animals, but they are more intelligent and, dare I say it, emotional than we give them credit for (this goes for most animals). For me, the groundhog in your dream symbolizes a kind of emotional reticence, a hibernation or going back into yourself, or your burrow, just because you have seen your own shadow. It does not really matter that you’re in Paris, or in the 1900s (though that is compelling), but what does matter is that you do win in the end, and that winning brings about recognition.

Which brings me to the bonus question you asked while submitting your dream: “Will 2025 be the year I start dating?” First, I hope you’re not feeling strange about this. I’m not sure of your age or other demographic data, but I was a definite late bloomer, who has made up for it in my adult life. There is almost always more time than we give ourselves credit for. Secondly, yes, I do think 2025 will be the year you start dating. I pulled The World for you, which to me speaks of a venture into a previously unknown realm and a venture outside of your burrow. It is a hard thing to put yourself out there, but you are more than capable. You just have to remember that, and to control your startle instinct, for in your shadow there is gold.

See you on the Other Side,
CC

I’ve been having this series of dreams for the last week and a half or so, and they’re all of a similar vein. I am traveling somewhere, or visiting someone and there is something wrong with the location we’re staying. Sometimes it’s a friend’s house from my childhood, sometimes it’s a brand new location, like a hotel or a new house that someone I know has bought. No matter the set up, the following things never change: I find a place to put my things, a bedroom, or a little corner where I can set my stuff down and read for a bit. But the moment I leave that location, I can’t find again, and the rest of the dream becomes about tracking down that spot. Usually I can’t find it, in a very MC Escher who put stairs here kind of way. If I can find it again, then there is something wrong with it, like it’s really filthy or all the furniture is broken or it’s too small for me to stand in. Most of the time these dreams end up with me just wandering around, looking for my room. Thoughts?
– Christina Tucker

Hi Christina,

Thank you for the gift of your dream. I LOVE an MC Escher piece, so thank you for bringing this to my proverbial haunted saloon. This sequence of events, to me, is all anxiety. I’ve had similar dreams myself. And, currently, in this country, we really don’t know where the floor is. The “rules” are changing by the day.

But that is just the top level of this dream. You’re experiencing some sort of “life change,” or you will be. I’m not sure what this is related to: romance, career, family, or something else, but I do know that is has/will leave you feeling unmoored. The past, i.e. the room you have come from, is a landscape that is familiar and safe. Your visiting, here, symbolizes you moving forward in time, to uncharted waters. That is already a fearful thing already, but the place you have made for yourself, even if it is transitory, suddenly disappears, leaves you, and otherwise becomes unrecognizable. This, dear Christina, is not a sign of ruin, but simply a facet of your fear. Will there be anything left for you, for those you love? Will you be able to find the safety and emotions you once had? Yes, and yes, but they may appear, at first glance, like shifting stairways, and terrifying loops.

See you on the Other Side,
CC

l’ve had recurring dreams about being pregnant and/or delivering a child and I’m so confused by them! I’m a nonbinary AFAB person and I don’t ever intend to carry or birth a child, though I do hope to be a parent one day. I’m usually alone in these dreams, they don’t include my family or my girlfriend. The dreams are not necessarily negative or like nightmares, they’re pretty neutral. But I’m curious about their recurrence and what they could possibly be interpreted as.
– L. 

Hi L.,

Thank you for the gift of your dream. I definitely do not think this is a YOU ARE PREGNANT dream, obviously, which is good (some people have those…). For me, the pregnancy dream usually points towards something that is incubating, not yet ready to be born. So, my question for you is: what is incubating inside of you? Is it creative? Romantic? Something else?

And, because you are alone in these dreams, and no one has “gotten” you pregnant, this reads to me as being a more creative or solitary endeavor, not so much collaborative. That said, art, and life, do not exist in a vacuum, so if when you read this and the first thing that springs to mind is something that is involved deeply with another person, do not fret. These dreams’ recurrence is important, too, and means that you should pay attention — otherwise, they may keep occurring, and you will never know exactly what it is you’re meant to do about them.

See you on the Other Side,
CC

P.S. See here and here for more pregnancy dream examples.

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