Previously, we invited readers and the internet to share (anonymously) the sex dreams of their nights in quarantine. Over 80 of you complied, and while our analysis is limited due to the anonymity of the data, there are some interesting trends! A lot of sex dreams that are also anxiety dreams, with noticeable patterns of exes and/or sex with men despite a definite lack of interest in this in real life; some marked by fears about social distancing even in dreams, and some marked by relief and pleasure at having some physical contact after a long time of isolation. Some are super hot; some are super weird! Some are both. Thank you, everyone, for your contributions to collective curiosity, and wishing you a good night’s sleep tonight.

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Me, my ex, and my ex’s ex were playing board games and mid-way through, to settle a dispute, my ex and I started making out while ex’s ex cheered and then we ended just having sex in front of the ex’s ex. Not very wild, but I almost never remember dreams (but of course had to remember this one)

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I cheated on my partner with someone I hated from high school…. they went down on me in in the laundry room (?) of my high school. While it was happening I was mentally comparing them to my current partner and stressing that high schoolers would walk in and see us.

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my and my queer worker both went on a date with sohla from bon appetit at the same time, truly woke up thinking sohla was polyamorous because of this

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my friends and i were hanging out at their apartment and out of the window we spot bette, not jennifer beals but bette, and we holler at her to get her attention and to invite her into the apartment. suffice to say, bette and i end up sharing the sofa and have sex and the entire time im thinking wow im having sex with bette??

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I watched Normal People and, inevitably, had a sex dream about Connell. I don’t remember much about the sex part but I woke up when we were spooning in post-coital bliss. I’m isolating alone and haven’t seen anyone I know in 8 weeks. I woke up feeling very soothed.

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A friend of mine just gently stroked my boobs

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Most of my pandemic sex dreams have threesome-based– me, my long-distance partner who I haven’t seen since before this all started, and some cute figment of my imagination. The other night it was a cute thicc boy and I mostly just got to watch him and my partner have fun. It’s been a weirdly sweet bonding experience sharing these dreams with my partner when I wake up. The only non-threesome sex dream I’ve had since the quarantine (also with my partner) ended in a very realistic fight about finances and the mid-COVID job market.

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I live with my partner and 2 roommates and there’s not a lot of personal space in my house. I had a dream about trying to find a private space to masturbate. In the dream, I tried the bedroom, then the bathroom. Grabbed my vibrator to speed things up, but it was low on battery, and I was frustrated. So dream-me got down to business and got pretty close. Although I didn’t finish in the dream, I woke up on the verge of a pretty sweet hands-free orgasm.

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not related to the pandemic itself at all but recently i had a sex dream with a guy that was sort of supposed to be my only male friend?? i consider myself a lesbian or very wlw leaning bisexual and i’ve had dreams with him before but in this one it felt like i was truly being embraced and protected. it was really warm and kind in contrast to some other sex dreams i have lol , later in the dream i had a very similar encounter but with an anonymous woman this time. i probably really miss contact and connection, since i haven’t talked to that particular friend since weeks.

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So many sex dreams in the past week and a half. Like, SO MANY.

1. Got fuckin railed by Callie Torres (full long hair, light blue scrubs). It was great.
2. Heavy grinding and making out with someone I knew a little in high school. Slightly confusing but still good.
3. Weird hotel sex with a stranger? One of those people in dreams that doesn’t actually exist. Dear lord I need someone to fuck me.
4. Vague sexy activities. Blurring into nonsense, I’m masturbating so much I can’t.

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It wasnt so much of a sex dream as a cuddle dream with yer man who plays Spiderman. I am pretty sure he is shorter then me, but in my dream he was super warm, and I was very cozy and content. I woke up very confused as someone who is not attracted to/interested in men.

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Nothing crazy. Just basic human touch. Although I did have a dream with a man as a sexual partner which is highly unusual since I am strictly gay in real life.

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A very vivid sex scene and subsequent very cute relationship with Adam Driver…. and I’m a lady who’s like, so gay dude??? I woke up as one VERY confused lesbian.

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An ex-boyfriend and I were having sex. We were finished after one thrust and I thought: “There. We made a baby.” It was emotionally very satisfying. (I don’t want children. Or wait – do I???)

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I binged the first 4 eps of Mrs. America and then had a dream that involved Cate Blanchett in character as Phyllis Schlafly (complete with cardigan and PINK FLORAL STRAP-ON) absolutely having her way with me and then bringing me tea and banana bread and petting my hair. I am deeply, deeply ashamed because I cannot BELIEVE this show made me horny for THAT PERSON.

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Last night I had a weird dream that I was straight again…I haven’t kissed a boy in around three years, so it was a bit of a shock. Maybe because I’m at home and not out in a small town instead of on my own, in my apartment in a big city, with my queer best friends/queer bookstores/queer bars around me. Anyone else having weird straight dreams?

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I, a stone butch lesbian, had a steamy dream about a friend of mine who is 1) engaged and 2 ) a man GOING DOWN ON ME (??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!). I hate receiving oral IRL and am not legitimately attracted to this friend IRL but it was pretty fun in the dream. I also just got dumped so, like, clearly my subconscious is grasping at straws and/or ready to rebound here.

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eating pizza with out masks on as she railed my tight asshole after half a year of no touching. The she in question was someone i went to middle school with 20 years ago. Afterwards, which was like a whole day we had a dinner of penis on a plate but it was the good girl penis. I’m trans & wasn’t out in middle school.

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I have had a handful of dreams in which I’m pregnant! In one dream, my ex who has a toddler helped me through my final trimester. In another, Jane Fonda says she supported my right to choose.

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I had a dream where I was a hot girl? (For reference, I am maybe hot but not a girl at all) I worked construction and my supervisors were Mandy Moore and Brad Leone some how, and I knew for sure I looked like Liv Tyler. We were pouring concrete and I had been there just long enough to be useful and supportive to the newbies, so when I say hot I mean inside and out. After I go to Therapy, I don’t actually get there, but I get to this office and I know my therapist is this nice Korean lady who keeps a button down on her door because she doesn’t think I wear enough clothes for her A/C and I thought that was a fine because it meant she cared about me?

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In my sex dream I was steamily (?) making out with my partner in a school gym, when they stopped me and said, I need you to take this and go over there, and gave me a vibrator and then made em go on the other side of the divider in the gym. We then proceeded to masterbate mutually but not physically together.

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I dreamt I was an older and incredibly rich gay man, giving a blow job to my younger trophy husband in the shower. There were quite a few strange details to the dream, for example
– was concerned abt my knees because of a knee injury I had received in my youth
-at one point I looked up and saw his body and face completely covered in various colors of plastic wrap
-I’ve never given a blowjob, even to a dildo
-am 21, and a transmasc person who leans str8
-it was a steam shower with a bench inside and 2 showerheads

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A little background: I am a cis lesbian married to another cis lesbian, we both got Covid -like symptoms around St Pats day when quarantine went into effect. I was really having a hard time with sitting and resting so she taught me how to play Stardew Valley, a cute farming/adventure/dating sim where every elegible person to date can be bi/pan. I have a female farmer but ended up falling for one of the male bachelors, and have been having many sex dreams about the two of them. I think it’s a lot of that new relationship energy, and something to focus on other than my body and it’s illness. I have even started looking at fan art and fan comics for this game, which isn’t something I have done since my tweet years in the days of dial up internet. I have even started looking at porn that I imagine goes along with their very sweet but very vanilla sex lives, and that’s also a fun escape. It’s an unexpected but really fun escape with a great community of folks and my own private fantasy of new relationships, and I’m going to savor it while I can.
Intense mutual attraction with my lesbian psychiatrist after our appointment (on a bed first and as we walk out together then) but she becomes a boy so I end things between us because his girlfriend is my psychiatrist.

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One word: Lightsabers

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Getting cuddle fucked in a physically improbable position with neck kisses and endearments by a sort of ex.

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One dream starred my normal for me biting fetish getting my teeth around and on skin all over tormenting and teasing a dark haired woman I’ve never met who looks gorgeous in my sheets but it had the mega intensity of my horny teenage sex dreams back when I masturbated minimum twice a day the hunger I felt for getting her skin between my teeth, tracing her bones with teeth and tongue, hearing her panting. The other one that sticks out is dry nursing another adult under a tree or awning. Dreams about breast play/ mommy domming are (again) normal for my obviously kinky self but the outdoor setting…that has to be a quarantine thing.
Ooh and dreams of getting licked, like practically slobbered on.

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A cute person put their head on my shoulder. I realized they were too close and freaked out hard enough that I woke up. Un-social distancing is going to be a *process*

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I had a sex dream about my mom!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, I was interacting with her like she was my mom and then suddenly I was having sex with her!!! In the context of the sex it was like having sex with my girlfriend, with her body and her mannerisms and our sex routine and stuff. But it was my mom!!!! god whyyyy. nothing like that has ever ever ever happened in any dream i’ve ever had. I also at some point had a dream in which some weird plot thing was happening but meanwhile my girlfriend (who’s not quarantining with me) was just holding me throughout, and it was so comforting.

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breakfast burritos

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I’ve had like five dreams about sex total ever, over 30 years of pre-pandemic life, and then 3 in the past three weeks! It’s nonsense.
All I can recall is that it vaguely involved someone going down on me in a hotel/amusement park in Japan (I have never been to an amusement park in Japan)

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I was with someone who is not my partner, and we accidentally kissed (just out of habit I guess?) then we both panicked and decided to not kiss again. Weird dream time skip immediately follows, and I’m sitting on my partner’s lap. We decide to not kiss for safety’s sake but apparently… other stuff was fine, just not kissing. Dream world was kind enough to continue into some very hot hand stuff and dom stuff, which seeing as we’re currently quarantined apart, was a solid gift from the dream gods.

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my ex tried to come on to me and I think I screamed “no!” so less sex dream more nightmare, oops

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so the woman I was newly seeing when this all started (and is now my girlfriend, yay for pandemic dating!) and I were finally together in person again. and we were starting to get sexy, and it was very hot – kissing, touching, really getting good. then she went to take my pants off, and I had…lots of pants on. it was pants, then another pair of pants, then leggings, then sweatpants (under the leggings, what?)…and then my subconscious apparently got bored when she couldn’t get them off because they were getting stuck on the pants under THAT, and I woke up.

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had the first sex dream of my entire life (yeah i know) and it was this really hot skater girl teaching me to woo the head cheerleader who was also a nice person by putting the moves on me? idk there was intense eye contact in a mirror while a sultry voice whispered in my ear. very confusing! 10/10 would dream again.

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It opens as I’m walking alongside my most all-consuming dreamiest crush down an elevated concrete pathway that winds over a riverbed lush with plants and densely forested jungle. I’m noticing the way the my crush’s backpack is shifting up and down as she walks, checking out her ass, when she suddenly pauses and goes, “”Oh look, there it is, it’s the Special Otter!”” which is how I suddenly come to remember that this is why we’re here at this park: to catch a glimpse of the rare Special Otter. Though upon following her excited gesturing, I notice that the Special Otter looks a lot like a giant sock covered in matted brown fur and is half-beached on the side of a sandbar — its beady black eyes and red yarn mouth are smiling dazed and oblivious into the sunlight. My crush is enthused and takes several photos, and I’m wondering how on earth she’s going to make this otter pop on instagram. “Is the Special Otter alive?”” I ask her, which earns me an incredulous side-eyed glance. “”Clearly, it’s alive,”” I answer for myself, “”or there wouldn’t be this huge natural habitat to protect, clearly.” We move into the cafeteria, where they are selling sandwiches and Special Otter cookies, that don’t look dissimilar from a ghost, except brown, with fur, and its signature dumb grin. I see that the place is entirely full of queers, and we settle into a table so my crush and I can strike up excited conversation with all of the other queers about their experience with The Special Otter — everyone comparing notes on what it was doing, how it seemed. “”It looked really relaxed,”” I add to the conversation. As we talk further though, it becomes clear, that everyone is actually here for the spa attached to The Special Otter Park. Like we all want to support this otter, but nobody’s truly blown away. So after lunch, my crush and I find each other slipping out of our clothes, and putting on robes to wander the Special Otter spa. We enter a salt meditation room, take off our robes and lie next to each other on a giant raised slab of soft, pink Himalayan salt. It’s warm on my skin and when I turn to her, she’s already leaning in to kiss me. She’s so supple in my mouth, her tongue dances against mine, and as our bodies move closer, I can feel the urgency and electricity heightening between us. “”I want you to touch me,”” she’s whispering, when I am rudely awakened by the lawn mower outside of my window. And I wake up and think, “”Wow, The Special Otter.””

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Me: small, soft, lovable. Her: 8 feet tall, motherly, warm, soft. She hums gently as she tapes up my diaper and she lays me down in a soft bed of plushes. She tells me she’ll always love me and I melt into her soft chest.

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My friend and co-worker (who I’ve been crushing on a bit these last weeks) appeared and just enveloped me in this soft, all-encompassing embrace and then carried me around for a while. I woke up wet. it was heavenly. am I touch-starved? mebe.

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Preface to this dream- I’ve been on Instagram a lot and have been religiously watching all Cameron Esposito’s videos. So, in this dream I was in her living room (?) and we were talking about idk, queer stuff, and she makes a move on me and we move to the bedroom where we have great, like really incredible sex. But halfway through, my awake brain connected with my asleep brain and I sat up (in the dream, mid sex act,) and went ‘OH my god I’m so sorry but I’m not single. She’s going to kill me.’ And then I woke up 😅😂😝

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Just last night I dreamt that I was watching Hannah Hart top Taylor Schilling (Piper from Orange Is the New Black) … it was hot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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made out with my therapist, wasn’t mad about it waking up

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The best one so far was me and it would switch between two different people, one was my ex (yikes) and the other was a dream construct (or was it my future soulmate hmmm). At one point DC was sitting on my face and she came and then I was being fingered from behind and I came twice that way which was impressive because I am usually a one and done kind of girl.

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I was flirting and dancing with this super cute girl at a party. Things were getting pretty sexy, and then my boyfriend showed up and made her feel uncomfortable by trying to join. While I was fighting with him about that, my mom also showed up, crying, talking about how she’d made us all appetizers and a cheese plate in her apartment upstairs but everyone was at the party instead. I did not have any actual dream sex. Woke up vaguely horny and also angry.

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I had a sex dream about an acquaintance who I had just read tarot for. In the dream, he was fucking me with a purple (I remember it very specifically as purple) strap in my parents’ king bed. In the dream, we were living in a reality-TV show style house, and the other contestants walked in on us and brought in the camera crew.

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My girlfriend and I both separately fucked the wife of my childhood neighbor who we dog sit for. In the dream she didn’t say anything to me but talked to my girlfriend extensively about how lonely she was. In another, someone was having sex while on the phone with me, like surreptitiously? I became so enamored with the idea that I decided to do the same, so my girlfriend and I were having sex while on the phone with our friends, who were also having sex! But everyone was trying to not reveal they were having sex!

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I wandered into a college while I was trying to return home from an appointment, and couldn’t leave it; multiple attempts to do so resulted in being confused and turning back. Within all areas of the college was an unending orgy involving countless people, and occasional human sacrifice rituals performed by either the priestess or the ram-headed man. If anyone asked for sex, I couldn’t say no, and not for lack of trying. If I saw someone who was my type, I couldn’t help hitting on them – even while hating doing it knowing that most of them likely couldn’t refuse either – only two did, both women, one of who said she wasn’t into girls and one who acted insulted by my asking. Ended up having sex with three women and four men, which included the priestess, watching two m/f couples and one m/m couple and one large mixed-sex pan-action group, plus whatever happened during the hours-long time-skips. The dream ended with no conclusion during the second night – by that point a lot of people were starving and exhausted, and the National Guard was surrounding the place, presumably to keep anyone else from being drawn in.

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I dreamt I was a shape shifting mermaid who could swim through air, was married to the merman king who killed himself when he found out I was pregnant with a shark. The shark’s grandmother was going to come and eat me. Then I gave birth to the shark and decided to have weird,freaky sex with another merman who had to attach his penis, which was stored in a basket full of fish. All very strange.

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In last night’s dream I cuddled with my best friend’s husband while she patiently waited for us to be finished. No further comment.

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I haven’t had any proper sex dreams yet, but I’ve had a few where my friends are cuddling me, or kissing my face. Or we somehow end up in a pile. The weight of them feels really real. Yes I’m in lockdown alone :(

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Villanelle, in that suit, grabbed me by the wrists and climbed on top of me like she did in that Killing Eve scene

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Dreamt about fingering a friend of my ex and when I woke up my fingers were actually moving…

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I dreamed I was out in the middle of the desert with this woman I’ve been talking to since this pandemic started. It took me a long time to talk her into joining me on a solitary mattress out in the middle of nowhere. We got naked and sweaty. I was pouring sweet liquor all over her and licking it off, then she got on top of me and put her hand between my legs. I woke up at that point. I sent said woman a text to tell her and she thought it was hot :-)

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I was living in a dorm or some other kind of establishment where there were shared rooms with bunkbeds. I made a friend who was showing me their room when I realized that they were sharing with my ex. (IRL this ex and I were together 6 years ago for about 10 months but it was p casual. Also we were mismatched sexually and I legit hadn’t thought about her in like 2 years.) My ex isn’t even in the room when I go see it but I realize it must be her top bunk because there are posters of herself all over her zone and like strands of her own hair hanging as decoration and stuff. I don’t see her. Later on (hours? days? weeks?) I see her at the bar – which is the student bar of my grad school where IRL we did not know each other. We don’t even talk but I think we play pool together and then she takes me back to her room. My friend is asleep on the bottom bunk and my ex shows me her top bunk (which is like the size of a small apartment with a mini kitchen) and makes me a cup of tea. She is trying to hook up with me but I say I shouldn’t because I’m married (which is true). In my dream she convinces me it doesn’t matter and we end up having sex. It was super great and I didn’t even feel guilty about cheating until I woke up next to my IRL wife.

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I was on my knees bent over the edge of the bathtub, propping myself up with my elbows. I was giving head to the woman who was showering, I can’t remember who she was or how we knew each other. I remember struggling to get a good angle without drowning. Then she propped her leg up on the side of the tub next to me. I remember feeling relieved that I could do a better job at eating her out. I remember feeling like I had to do a good job, like our lives depended on how well I got her off with my tongue. Then someone else, whose identity and relationship to me I also can’t remember, came up behind me and started rimming me. I remember not being super surprised, and being really excited and less stressed about this addition. I woke up before anyone had an orgasm. I almost never remember my dreams. It’s so weird I remembered this one and even more weird I saw this post the morning after.

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I sometimes have weirdly prescient dreams about relatively mundane things that happen the next day (I’m not generally a believer in supernatural stuff but it happens often enough that I can’t dismiss it). For the last several weeks I’ve had basically zero sex drive due to listlessness and anxiety, but then last night, my body insistently woke me up in the middle of the night demanding that I get myself off N O W. I am going to assume it’s because I subconsciously wanted to have something to submit to this sex dream survey that I saw after waking up today. So, thanks, I guess?

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So my weird pandemic sex dream involved my ex, who broke up with me about a month before the quarantine started, and my best friend (who is a cis man and someone I basically view as a brother). In the dream I was maybe having sex with my friend, but he was behind me and I also was maybe just getting it on by myself with a dildo while the two of them were there? (Side note, I’ve never had sex with a penis before so my brain might have just approximated things as with a dildo? Who knows!) While that was happening I was firmly holding hands with my ex who was in front of me and there was some intense eye contact happening between us. And then at some point, while he was still behind me I was like sort of touching my friend’s erect penis (never touched one of those either, so wtf is my brain doing here??) but kind of just with my elbows and I didn’t turn around at all or anything. And then he ejaculated all over my back (again, never experienced what semen is like). And then I woke up HORRIFIED to find myself completely drenched in sweat, aka so sweaty that it was dripping down my back. Shoutout to my PMS night sweats for adding some physical sensations to whatever the heck that dream was.

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It wasn’t actually a sex dream per se, but rather a thriller/erotic/cult? thing I dreamt two weeks ago. Long story short there turned out to be a cult going on in my parent’s neighbourhood, where I haven’t lived for nearly ten years, but what the hell – dreams. Here’s where it gets interesting: it was a cult of the Holy Vagina. After horror-like elimination of my peer group, it miraculously turned out that it was me who was this world impersonation of the Holy Vagina.

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My fiancée doubled over in laughter after I had told her about that dream and started to bow to my crotch asking whether it was going to have to be treated as a separate entity from then on.

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tried to get busy with my partner but there was a shortage of the vibrator that they prefer and so we could not get off; woke up frustrated and concerned about the sex toy industry

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I was being lifestyle topped by a married couple but like… entirely nonsexually? But also it felt very sexual?? And one of them was like a butch lesbian version of Jack Black??? I slept underneath their bed, which in real life is a nightmare of claustrophobia but in a weird sex dream is apparently ideal.

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I had a dream that my boss, a much older man from Wuhan, brought me into his hotel room in Florida and pleased me in sooooo many ways. Just as I went down on him, multiple colleagues knocked on his door and I had to hide in the dark while they spoke outside. Eventually they needed to come in and they found me waiting in his hotel room, wide-eyed and with no logical explanation. The dream sex was so good that I did not share it with my partner (she is the love of my life but I’m sorry, we share everything now, let me just have this one moment I had no control over). In the days that followed, this dream became less of a turn-on and more discomfort-inducing (such detailed imagery of my boss’s penis?! getting caught by colleagues?! me being into that penis?! very confusing) so yeah, life’s kinda weird lately huh.

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Okay, so I’ve literally been watching so much TV lately, as most people are, that I don’t know how there are any shows left that I haven’t seen?? But two shows in particular that I’ve been keeping up with are Mrs. America on FX-on-Hulu, and Netflix’s Hollywood. One amazing show with Sarah Paulson and one amazing show with Holland Taylor. (If there are still any queer women on this planet who are unaware, Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor are dating, and they’re the cutest couple alive.) I’ve also been watching some Instagram Live’s that they’ve done recently, so I’ve just been absorbing ample amounts of content containing these two ladies. So, naturally I had a sex dream that involved them, because that’s just what my brain does, and I was n o t mad about it. It’s a little fuzzy now because it happened a few days ago, but basically what happened was I was in some store, and I needed a fitting room. So, I found a room that was unlocked, and I pretty much walked in on Paulson and Taylor making out. One of them, I think it was Paulson, said to the other, “”I thought you locked the door!”” I apologized and turned to leave, but then they told me to wait, we started talking, and long story short, I just wound up having a threesome with Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor in a locked fitting room??? And it was fabulous.

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I was at a party and my crush (who barely knows I exist) was there, next to me. While we were talking to other people she secretly asked me to finger her. We kept talking to people and I just couldn’t stop feeling excited about knowing that my crush was also into me. We kissed and I just have to say that it felt very real.

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Lots of vampires and boobs; I’ve been watching a LOT of True Blood before bed.

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Threesome with two exes who don’t like each other

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I woke up horny (in my dream) so I decided to create an elaborate masturbation plot that involved a huge silicone dildo stuck onto my closet door (which was for some reason a foot away from my bed) an unnecessary amount of lube, a vibrator, and some truly ambitious positioning. It was working for me until my (dream) child came in and interrupted me and my reaction was to be really mad at them instead of worried they were scarred for life, but OK. Dream me is a real bitch about her orgasms. Anyway, the worst part of this dream is that I can never come in dreams. I kept going at it until I woke up, except I was still horny, so I tried to masturbate again with a vibrator and still couldn’t come because I was still, unbeknownst to me, actually asleep, and then I woke up another time except not really, etc in a never-ending inception situation of dreaming, waking, and horniness. This kept up until I finally woke up for real. I knew it was real because my cat’s butt was directly on top of my head. And yes, I FINALLY CAME.

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I’ve had a lot of sex dreams over quarantine, but this was the worst: Me and my friend suddenly hated each other for no good reason, but we also suddenly could not keep our hands off of each other. This meant that everywhere we went, we would be arguing and aggressively yelling at each other…and also getting way too handsy and sometimes even flat out having sex. Aggressive, angry, hate sex. In public. With no regard for all the other people and our mutual friends that were right there. It went on through multiple locations, and at one point, we were actually in private in my room for once, but we were yelling at each other so loud that the house full of people on the other side of the door heard everything. For the record, me and this person don’t hate each other in real life whatsoever – far from it, we’re very fond of each other. And I definitely don’t have a kink for hate sex. That’s why the dream made me so uncomfortable. (We have had sex in real life though, so at least there’s that.)”

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I was delighted / slightly weirded out to wake up from a dream of sexy times with Giles (from BtVS) who had recently become a werewolf.

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every single sex dream i have is about fucking in the bathroom of a crowded bar. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

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sweet morning spooning with my ex/not ex

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I’ve found that during the pandemic my dreams have been more vivid, and I’ve been thinking a lot about “Portrait of a Lady on Fire.” The combination of this lead to an Adele Haenel sex dream. I don’t remember any plot or specifics, just that sexy, crooked smile.
It was an extremely vivid dream where I bottomed for anal sex with my currently long-distance partner. We’ve never had anal sex, and the assumption for both of us is that he’d bottom for it if we did. It was weirdly enjoyable in the dream though

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Charlie Weasley and Dumbledore… it was not tender

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The first 7 seconds of Marvin Gaye’s “Ain’t no mountain high enough” on repeat the whole dream. A one dimensional wall of Tudor style townhouses in front of me. The wall rips in half as if it were a sheet of paper, and I enter a cavernous pub with singles drinking, dancing, and mingling about. As I scan the room to discover its purpose, I spot a couple engaged in impact play… you know, just casually as people do in sex dreams. I’m intrigued and immediately cross the room to join them. The Dom is a gorgeous butch dressed in black leather pants and matching studded bra, the Sub in gold lingerie that sparkles when a spotlight shines down her as she receives a firm flogging. The music keeps repeating in my head… “listen baby!” The wall behind the two women tears open and they disappear, leaving me standing alone in a smaller, more secluded area. My heart is racing and I know someone is watching me from behind. Before I can turn around, I feel her breath on my neck, sending shivers down my entire body. I’m ready for anything and for some reason feel totally safe. Next thing I know, I’m strapped to an X rack, and although I can see (because dreams are cool that way), I know she’s blindfolded me. Again the music repeats… “listen, baby”. She approaches with the confidence of a well traveled Dom… slowly and surely. I wait for the impact of the riding crop she rears, but much to my dismay, I feel nothing. Every nerve in my body is on end… waiting… wanting… needing the delicious pain I hope she will deliver. I can feel my self getting wet with anticipation. My breathing becomes louder and louder, begging her to give me what I want. In that moment I can actually hear her smile. She’s going to make me wait… “listen, baby!” In a flash, her cheek is against mine, warm and soft as she whispers in my ear, “Do you want this?”

“Yes,” I reply eagerly. “Yes, please.”

“Are you sure?” she asks knowing the answer already.

Now I beg. “Please. Please give it to me. Now!”

I hear a loud pop, but feel nothing. She asks if that’s what I wanted. I’m confused and frustrated and dripping wet down my leg. I start to cry. She wipes my tears away… the music plays again and again “listen baby”.
This time I know she’s going to make contact. I take a deep breath in…

and wake up with my dogs tail smacking me in the face.

Truly the most frustrating sex dream I’ve ever had. Spent the next half hour masturbating, came three times, then had coffee before walking my increasingly impatient dog.

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The sex was me and two women I did not know feeding each other granola while wearing nitrile gloves

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My ex and I were waiting together for my other former partner to have a three-way, but when the third walked in they were somehow combined with Shea Couleé the drag queen in her All Stars 5 entrance look? And was so fierce and fabulous they decided to just skip the three-way and finish themself off instead. There was a weird tension between my two former partners which was unnerving but also hot?

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My ummfriend, who IRL does not live with me and who I have therefore not seen in 2 months, wanted me to bathe them. Carrying them in my arms, I took them to the bathroom and started running a bath. Unfortunately several large, fluffy, bright orange spiders had taken up residence in my pouff, and when I tried to scatter them away, they extended their legs – which each had a blocky spongey float attached – and floated, splayed-limbed, on the surface of the water. This made it difficult to catch them. Especially as I could only do so with one hand as I was still carrying my ummfriend. I never did get to bathe my ummfriend.

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I really wanted to have a good pandemic sex dream, because I usually dream very vividly and love telling people about it, but so far nothing’s been that sexy! It’s mostly been “oh you’re going to get together with that person you’ve been pining after, but they brought someone else, or you were going to meet them on a date but you got cold feet about seeing acrobats in space, etc. etc.”, and then we never actually hook up. I think it’s because I’m no longer very busy, and my brain used to use sex dreams as multitasking.

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Not an explicit sex dream, but I dreamed that I was visiting Noelle Stevenson and Molly Ostertag (because apparently I know them in this dream heaven?). We watched an unspecified dream cartoon, and then Finding Nemo, and then (!!!!) I found myself in a CUDDLE SANDWICH between the two of them. Could have stayed there forever but my dream self decided to interrupt the best part of the dream to show Noelle and Molly “my game”, which turned out to be a lo-fi choose-your-own-adventure style click through text based game (note: I am not a game dev), which they liked, so I guess it was worth it. We also talked about kale.

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Mal Blum groupie

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Current non binary crush telling me to take their cock and then cumming (while strap on fucking me)

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Last night I had a dream that I stole a bunch of money from this girl I work with and have lately had a pandemic instagram crush on? Somehow I’d hacked her bank account and she knew about it and I think we were dating so it was very awkward. My childhood babysitter (and basically adoptive grandmother) had a solution though! She told me to impress the ones you love you have to spray PAM cooking spray on your legs to make them shiny and beautiful. Not a sex dream per-se but I met up with my girlfriend who I had for some reason stolen money from and pouted a bunch and flaunted my greasy legs hoping to win her forgiveness- so I think had I not woken up when I did it could have led somewhere.