EDITOR’S NOTE (added several hours after publication in response to response): This post was intended to make fun of the sensationalized online media industry turning little, irrelevant stories into BREAKING SHOCKING NEWS. For more on this topic, please read “I Don’t Care About the Future.”
I don’t know if you’ve heard but there is some major shit happening with Glee. Yeah, Glee the teevee show about the singing homosexuals, otherwise known as “the most important show to ever happen on the history of television, basically.”
Get your lips off the television set, put down your animated gif, cancel the download of Glee Vol. 37 – Road to Grand Regional Sectional Nationals – The B-Sides and rip up your ticket to “Glee: The Live Tour (The Shipper’s Edition)” because your head’s about three seconds away from complete implosion and/or explosion.
Why?
At the end of this season, some of your favorite Glee characters will graduate high school.
And then they will leave. The show.
That’s right. Lea Michelle, Chris Colfer and Cory Monteith are not returning for a fourth season of Glee, which we imagine might start in late 2012 or early 2013.
Look, I saw it in the news today. I saw it in the news today like 8 GABILLION times, so I know it’s true.
I’m so glad the internet exists on nights like tonight because this is definitely the kind of breaking news that slips through the cracks in the World of Print. Were it not for the internet (Bless It!), I wouldn’t have even known about this until it was like, relevant, I guess. I’ve only just recovered from stabbing my eyes out with nail files upon hearing the news about Chord Overstreet.
The beauty of online media, delivering this breaking story from all angles!!!
As you can see above, some are calling it “one more reason not to watch Glee anymore.” I have to say I agree. How could I enjoy the next 15 episodes of Glee knowing that a year after those episodes END, there will be a new cast of clumsily assembled but very attractive and diverse characters? What is this, Degrassi?
Earlier tonight, after I’d already destroyed my china set and killed all my sea monkeys preparing for the True Death, I heard a bird tweeting in my ear. It was twitter!
Then I realized that Lea is right! Life is gonna be okay. It IS all part of the plan. It IS all good. And by golly, Season 3 is gonna be AMAZING!
(No but seriously, what’s wrong with the internet this week? I think websites need to start thinking about reporting the most important stories of the day, rather than filling a 20-post quota with whatever information happens to shoot their way, regardless of import.)
Oh, however — I saw this thing in that interview you might be interested in. I dunno:
We’re doing some great Harry Shum Jr./Jenna Ushkowitz (Tina/Mike) story, we’re doing a great Santana (Naya Rivera) story, we’re doing a great Brittany (Heather Morris) story and a great Mercedes (Amber Riley) story. Those are the people who didn’t get big multi-arc stories – maybe Heather and Naya toward the end – but all of them are getting big ones. When you graduate a certain group of people, examining what they want to do with their lives is a really exciting thing and that’s what all these stories are about.
This just depressed me…
Although, at least we keep Santana for one more reason, provided no other graduation-bombshells drop.
I feel like Executive Producer Ryan Murphy thinks he can keep the Glee beast going by just plugging new people in. Time will tell. But I have this nagging feeling that part of Glee’s magic is its current casting with Chris Colfer, Lea Michele and Cory…
We’ll see.
I’m ok with Lea and Cory being gone but Chris :(
I’m hoping it will lead him on to bigger and better things. :)
it will, i’m sure of it
This is actually good news for me. I hate TV shows that bend time to make a high school cast last for years on end. Although, I am surprised the producers are aware of this… Didn’t all the characters develop schizophrenia and have severe multiple personalities this season? Hopefully this is an indication of the better consistency waiting in Season 3 (plus the Brittana story).
Seems to make sense. If they want this show to have longevity, they are going to need to find a way to make the format and concept last even as the actors age. This is a show about high school and nothing is sadder than seeing someone age into adulthood while they still play someone in high school by some magic TV calendar. The actors on Glee in some cases are already to old to be playing kids in high school anyway. (I think Puck is the most jarring one.) On Pretty Little Liars, no time has passed from last season to this season, meaning they are all still 16 or whatever. But they look a year older. It’s weird. And it will older get weirder in two or three seasons.
Crap. *too and *only get weirder
I don’t get how this is news? They said this about a year or two ago. They were always planning on graduating the kids and cycling in newbies. I love Internet-delayed-reactions to information that’s been around for years. And by “love”, I mean I am mystified and bemused by the phenomenon.
it’s not news! I too am mystified by the phenomenon, which is what this article is making fun of
It’s Fark!
Fark.com: “We don’t make news. We mock it.”
The Internet is my favorite. I actually think more of the original cast will be graduating, they just aren’t saying so yet. It was made pretty clear for most characters towards the end of season 2 that they were juniors. So unless they back pedal & say they’re younger, they should all be out after season 3.
Also, this feeds my suspicions that there is going to be a spin-off starring Rachel & Kurt in NYC. After the tweet posted above Lea tweeted, “To Gleeks everywhere, you’re in my heart now and forever. Love u all!!! This is just the beginning!!” I smell a spin-off.
I read an article with (I think) Brad, and he couldn’t remember which characters were Jrs and which were sophomores. REALLY. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE AGES OF YOUR OWN CHARACTERS???? Fuck, no wonder they had so many problems with continuity.
Nooooooooooo……… (not sarcasm)
I don’t care about Kurt but Kurt’s dad! And Lea!
lol’d at the scream picture.
I stopped watching a while ago so I don’t really care very much. I did really like Kurt, though, but I’m sure he has found some other really cool stuff to do. He’s got some great talent! Also, I could just never get myself to like Lea Michelle. She just always really bugged me.
At the risk of sounding like a bitch, this was news on AE like a month ago. According to a source they posted, I believe that everyone but one of the current main cast members will be graduating.
I stopped watching Glee after season 1 ended. I wanted to like it, but I find most of the characters to be awful, selfish people (RACHEL), and those who are not are totally sidelined (ie. Mike, Tina, Mercedes–non-white kids). I just can’t buy that these little brats, who are constantly backstabbing each other, are FRIENDS. Really? The characterization of the female characters is especially repulsive and offensive.
The show’s got too many caricatures, and not enough characters. Having one or two–maybe even three with such a large cast–over the top, exaggerated archetypes is okay, but when most of the leads have all the depth of a pancake, it makes the show incredibly difficult to watch without wanting to hurl your curling iron through the screen.
This is one of the things that bugged me the most about Glee – the show is supposedly about love and acceptance for everyone and all, yet none of the four non-white characters had any storylines for the whole two seasons – except Santana toward the end, and only when they decided to make her a lesbian. Mike, Tina, Mercedes and pre-lesbian Santana together probably had less lines in two seasons than Finn or Rachel alone in a few episodes. Mike and Tina don’t even seem to have a personality, they’re just the token asians/stable couple.
As for the caricatures they never bothered me though, from the beginning I didn’t take this show seriously – and to me it started to become less good when they tried to make it serious by trying to turn funny caricatures into 3D characters.
yes, but 500 news outlets (including, as you can see, AfterElton) covered this story yesterday as if it WAS news, which I was making fun of here.
My heart broke a little. Lea and Naya being the only reasons I watch the show, I guess this means I don’t have to worry about missing Glee when I head back to Europe after graduating next spring. However, I’m really confused as to how they think they’re going to add more characters this upcoming season while still keeping the ones they have. The Glee cast is just getting too big and I sometimes start getting annoyed mid-episode with the characters I like less for taking up time. I don’t want to follow even more. If it weren’t for Rachel Berry, I’d probably have quit this show already.
Also, if Lea were going to leave the show, I’d really prefer it to have been a bit earlier so she could audition for Funny Girl…
I was only really watching for Lea anyway, so this just means I’m done after S3. Thank God! Good luck with Glee after she leaves, FOX!
Isn’t this old news?
It’s news right now because Ryan Murphy gave an interview that made it official and named names.
yes! but every single news outlet wrote about it yesterday as if it was new news or as if it mattered in some way, which is ridiculous. That’s what this article is mocking.
We get irrational when it comes to Glee and cease to be able to read sarcasm.
i hope you all know that i wasn’t serious about the earth shattering or the music stopping, i don’t want you building bomb shelters for nothing
im building a bomb shelter for the imminent 2012 election north american civilization implosion
Why did they all write about it yesterday? Did a new interview come out or something?
yes a new interview came out i guess
but i always assumed this is how it would go, though i suppose i hadn’t thought of it. they built up a lot of college/ny stuff last season so they can’t just drop that, the kids have to grow up and leave. regardless lea’s career has been on an upwards trajectory since birth, if she wasn’t aging out of the series i don’t know what would happen. chris too maybe.
HOW WILL QUINN SURVIVE WITHOUT RACHEL?!?!
QUINNTANA
Hmm. Good idea. GOOD RIDDANCE RACHEL.
Marry me.
YES PLEASE
Good, then there will be less time spent of Finn and Rachel getting back together/breaking up/cheating on each other/omgireallydon’tcareaboutthem
But admittedly I will miss Chris Colfer. Papa Burt was pretty awesome.
LOL.. loved the article, riese.. (nothing sarcastic about that, btw..)
thank you name twin
you guys like skins right?
well…its kinda like that. calm down.
Can Finn leave earlier? Like, on the 1st episode of the season? Please?
this just in spoiler: Finn dies in 1st episode due to getting launched out of a cannon into gwyneth paltrows ego, which he thought would be large enough to cushion his fall.
in my dreams
oh man, riese, i’m kinda sorry that pretty much no one got the point of this article .. shows how much we’ve been conditioned to expect to see ZOMG GLEE NEWS ERR’BODY STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND LOOK AT THIS DUPLICATE ARTICLE THAT DOESN’T TELL YOU ANYTHING in every online tv commentary outlet. sadface.
I…I…got the sarcasm… Riese’s sarcasm is as subtle as I am which is to say NOT AT ALL.
i love everyone for real i’m serious
“what is this, degrassi?” made me laugh a lot.
also i had a dream a finn was in it so yeah he can just graduate now because he forgot my birthday in my dream
what a jerk.
santana would never forget my birthday.
santana prolly reads autostraddle. she wont forget your bday now.
win
My mother sent me one of these news stories in an e-mail, so I responded with a link to this. Thank you for saving me the effort of explaining why I didn’t care
I LOVE THIS
Wait, so I won’t have to sit through hours of pointless Rachel x Finn drama in season three? There will be different main stories? Possibly lesbian ones if Santana is still around?
I only see upsides here.
Season four*
Note to self, re-read comments before posting.
They better not take out Naya, HeMo, and Dianna Agron from S4. I’m being out and open about it. 77% percent why I watch shows is for the lesbian subplots. Haterzzz gon’ hate, but if i do not see a new batch of baby gaymos for season 4… I am completely DONE.
okay.