Do you have a “Type B” (or maybe ADHD-having) friend whose phone is never charged, who is out there adventuring and embracing spontaneity in ways that fill you with spine-tingling terror and admiration? Are you worried when your friend declares they’re going on yet another road trip, but because you’re not paternalistic, you’d rather safely enable their life choices rather than dampen their bright-burning spirit? What follows is a list of “gifts” in scare quotes because most of them are more practical than fun. Still whether these gifts exist to be encouraging, to free up brain space and ease common anxieties, or to save the day when things go really off the rails, at least you’re putting your hard-earned gay dollars into items that will either get a ton of use, or that, ideally, will never have to be used. I am somehow both the friend who needs these things and the friend who makes sure that I have (well, most) of them, and it’s upon that authority that I am basing this list.

Daily Predicaments

1. Charge 20 PD Power Bank ($30)
2. Tile by Life360 Slim Wallet Finder and Tile by Life360 Mate Bluetooth Tracker, Keys Finder and Item Locator ($24 and $20)
3. Live Fine 28-Day Automatic Pill Dispenser ($75)
4. Unfuck Your Boundaries and accompanying workbook by Dr. Faith G. Harper ($14 and $12)
5. Make Your Art No Matter What: Moving Beyond Creative Hurdles by Beth Pickens ($19)
6. Heart Ease Tea Blend ($7)

Embrace chaos, embrace inevitability, embrace the fact that being able to locate one’s own keys quickly and easily will be life-changing for someone continuously misplacing them. The same goes for their wallet! We are not solving for the act of misplacing something, but rather making the situation easier to remedy. The same goes for the ever-uncharged phone. You can get your Chaos Friend a power bank! Bonus points if you gently steal it once in a while to recharge it for them. The pill dispenser is on here, admittedly, because of my personal problems. Namely: I have to take medications in the morning before it’s easy for me to remember whether or not I took them. This all too often leaves me in a situation where I’m wondering whether I already took my meds or not. With this handy dandy pill dispenser, your friend (or you!) will be both reminded to medicate at the appropriate time AND you’ll know that the task is completed after. Finally, because daily life is indeed a struggle for us all, I’ve included a couple of books that might be good, depending on your assessment of what might be well-received. For those who over-commit themselves, Unfuck Your Boundaries might be of service, and for those who need gentle encouragement to prioritize their creative practices, I highly recommend Beth Pickens’ Make Your Art No Matter What. Lastly, from local herb grower Cutting Root Apothecary, we have Heart Ease Tea for when feelings seem too large to be contained within our simple human chests.

Situations While “On the Road”

1. Road Atlas and National Parks Guide ($35)
2. Personalized Engraved Compass ($37.00+)
3. Expandable Car Shovel ($16)
4. Emergency Bivvy with Rescue Whistle and Tinder ($20)
5. 1600 Peak Amp Jump Starter with Digital Compressor and USB Power Bank ($119)
6. My Neighbor Totoro Car Decoration ($19+)

Your friend may travel for fun, for work, to temporarily escape, or because they’re the one who’s always down to help someone out, even if that person lives six hours away. While your friend may in fact not drive, if they do, then they may be in predicaments — both big and small — where they’re navigating on their own. Regardless, these are some items they can more or less keep in their vehicle, just in case. First up, while we may have GPS, it still isn’t always the best option. Flooding, construction, a lack of signal or dead phone (ahem), or a need to take backroads may emerge — and that’s where it’s useful and potentially life-saving to have an analog atlas in the vehicle. The one I’ve put here also has a National Parks Guide which is for the fun type of adventures!

Speaking of analog, you can also get your friend a compass! There are many options for this. I found you something gay, which is an engraved compass where you can include words about your friendship (or romance or bromance). Practical and pretty! I also may be from snowy regions, but I recommend having a shovel regardless of the type of weather you typically find yourself in. You could wind up in a sudden flurry in the mountains, even if you were just in the desert a few hours ago. It can happen. Speaking of stuff that could happen — you can get your friend and emergency bivvy to store in their car. It hardly takes up any space, and now they truly have something that will help keep them from freezing (or keep them from shivering in less dire times) in the event that they have a breakdown or need to spend the night in their car. And once again, we’re including power sources, except this one’s much more heavy duty. This combination jump starter and air compressor can jump-start a dead battery, put air in your friend’s tires, and also charge their phone. Truly one of the best things a traveller can have in their car. Seem like too much DIY? Side note: Did you know you can actually gift AAA memberships? Give your friend the reassurance of having an entire year where they can get a tow, a can of gas, or a spare put on.

Also, I recognize that it’s totally weird to just get our friend a shovel, so you can combine a couple of these gifts, throw in some air fresheners or other car items to make it cuter, too, you know. For example: for a bit of fun, there’s nothing that says helpful and welcome and almost spiritual chaos like Totoro from Studio Ghibli’s My Neighbor Totoro. Like Totoro, your friend may freak you out while they’re whizzing along the breeze, but also like that big furry forest spirit, you know that your friend is also always there for you when you need them most.

Stay Safe Out There, Bestie

1. GearLight M3 Mini LED Flashlight ($21)
2. SABRE Runner Defense Spray ($9)
3. SABRE Practice Spray with Twist Lock ($9)
4. RHINO RESCUE 350 Pieces OSHA All-Purpose First Aid Kit ($37)
5. Leather Work Gloves, Mechanix ($28)
6. Gift Birth Chart Reading ($175)

Your friend is adventurous, has a high level of queer can-do-it-ness, and is maybe doing things like venturing out into the early hours of the morning on their own or deciding to take on an ambitious DIY project with just the tools at hand. The following are some helpful things that they can have on-hand to help them deal with what may come. First off, when the power goes out or they’re somewhere dark, do they have a light that is better than their phone light? I’m sorry but once you start carrying a flashlight, the phone light just doesn’t hold up in the same way, and because I listened to a queer tell me on a hike about how they think flashlights are actually the most practical self-defense tool if you can only choose one, now you have to hear it, too. Regardless of whether that’s true or not, getting a powerful flashlight your friend can tuck in a bag or clip on a belt will suddenly have them thinking “wow there are so many times I’ve needed this flashlight!” Following that up, does your friend carry pepper spray? If it’s something they’re comfortable doing, you can get them a fresh bottle, especially one with a strap that can go handily around their hand. It’s not helpful if it’s at the bottom of your cross-body butch bag! I also recommend getting them a bottle or two of practice spray that matches the design of the actual spray you got them, so they can get used to the feeling and practice actually aiming.

Now, because they’ve undertaken an awesome DIY project, they now have splinters, or a minor burn, or something that needs treated. What if instead of running to the pharmacy…your friend just had a pretty decent home first aid kit? WHAT THEN? Beautiful. And along those same lines, if your friend is the hands on type who’s always got scraped up knuckles and hands, why not give them the gift of a nice pair of work gloves? I know leather isn’t everyone’s thing, and there are a lot of options out there, but I do personally really like this particular pair from Mechanix. Lastly, but not leastly, as your friend moves with a surety and a curiosity through space and time, why not gift them a personalized natal chart reading with Corina, former Astrology columnist with Autostraddle? After all, your friend’s a beautiful being made of stardust, and we all have our part to play in each others’ lives and making a better world.

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