In 2010, geeky films are gonna rock your box office and we’re here to tell you about them. While we may lack any kind of formal explanation for what precisely makes a film geekgasmic, we just have a feeling that your sexy nerdy crush object won’t complain when you take her on a date to Kick-ass.
Some of these films, like Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland and Disney’s Oceans, will stuff you full of eye-candy. Some, like Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows of course, will have to score some major Shaun White airtime to vault over the anticipatory expectations you’ve been building up since the last one.
We’ve covered a lot of ground with these films: adaptations & sequels, comic geeky, tech geeky, sci-fi geeky, lit geeky — it’s like Baskin-Robbins but with YouTube instead of tiny pink spoons. There’s a little something for everyone. Except maybe your annoying friend from work who already has her Robert Pattinson Remember Me screensaver in rotation with Sex and the City 2.
What are you most excited about this year?
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THE CRAZIES
Release Date: February 26th
If you’ve got a soft spot for movies about epidemics, you‘ll probably love this. A waterborne toxin infects a small town, and just like violence and sex on TV, it immediately makes everyone an insane murderer. If that wasn’t bad enough, the military is killing people on the spot. Although the plot is well-tread, The Crazies looks well shot and totally worth a try.
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ALICE IN WONDERLAND
Release Date: March 5th
Tim Burton is inarguably a genius. And he knows exactly what people want out of an adaptation but won’t compromise his artistic viewpoint in order to provide it. Happily, Alice in Wonderland isn’t going to be a retelling of a story you’ve already seen- as this film takes place ten years after Alice first visits Wonderland. Burton crafted this retelling to “feel more like a story as opposed to a series of events.” Don’t miss this in 3D- Alice in Wonderland looks to live up to the trippiness of the promo posters!
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CLASH OF THE TITANS
Release Date: April 2nd
This looks amazing. Pretty hetero and male, but great nonetheless. Clash of the Titans stars everyone’s favorite tribal wannabe, Avatar’s Sam Worthington, but it isn’t about blue cat people this time around. But you’ll still be able to get stoned and watch it in 3-D (which is clearly all anyone cares about anymore).The graphics seem pretty fantastic, and the visual representations of Medusa and the Kraken are super modern and interesting. The plot’s a little unclear at this point, but if you read D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths or took Latin, I’m under the impression it won’t match up with your memory. Go see it anyway, you pretentious jerks!
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KICK-ASS
Release Date: April 16th
Did you ever wish you were a super hero? Kick-Ass is about a kid who decides to stops wishing and starts doing. Apparently, this geeky boy is really good at kicking ass. I’m a geek and I kick ass so I can really relate here. He eventually teams up with another super hero who picked a much less cool name- Big Daddy, which sounds less like a dude looking for criminals and more like a dude looking on Craigslist, though I’m sure there’s a Venn diagram begging to be made here. Big Daddy’s young daughter, whose superhero name is Hit-Girl, is gonna make a lot of girls realize they’re gay. Her character uses the word “cunt” which of course caused an uproar as soon as various “pro-family” groups caught wind of that. While I generally like anything that makes neo-cons angry, I’m not sure I’m going to love this Kick-Ass. It seems a lot like Superbad, but I think it’s still worth a chance. You can always check out the comic if it’s a flop.
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NEXT:
Oceans, Iron Man, Prince of Persia, Harry Potter, Tron Legacy & more…
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Does anyone know if the new Clash of the Titans coming out is a remake of this one from 1981? I basically grew up on this film and am so excited for a remake omg.
Awesome list you guys! Riese and I never see movies ever but we will be first in line on opening night for Alice in Wonderland fo reals.
Yes, it is! But according to the rumors on the internet, they’re changing a lot about the plot.
I’m just excited about the Kraken. I loved the 1981 version. And professor Mcgonagall was there so that’s always a plus.
I love the 80s version! Harryhausen stop-motion animation rocks, I could watch sinbad films forever!
I did not know about the Narnia movie and now I’m ridiculously exited.
i know! me neither- dawn treader was my #1 fave narnia book! isn’t there some crazy island with gnomes who hop around on one foot or some shit? amazing. thanks morgan!
M. Night Shyamalan has struck out so much in the past few years with The Village, Signs, and Lady in the Water, so I’m hoping The Last Airbender will return to his day(s) of glory.
Ditto! Shymalan also went after this- he really had big ideas for it, and that says a lot about how awesome this could potentially be.
HAHA!!! I just want to point out that it’s Robert Pattinson, not Robert Patterson, and go you for not knowing the difference, because I neither label myself a fan nor wish to know his face much less his last name.
thanks! we prob never would have caught it otherwise, hilariously.
Even though most of the HP movies have disappointed me.. I enjoy them in their own way. I cannot help but be incredibly excited for Deathly Hallows (and really sad).
So stoked about Alice in Wonderland. For some reason I loved Iron Man, so I hope the second one is good. I am a sucker for nature films, especially marine ones. I remember the first time I saw “Deep Sea 3D” in the IMAX at Navy Pier – best day ever! Lastly, I just might see Clash of the Titans; I love mythology.
I agree with you, on liking the HP movies in their own way. I like them, just separately from the books. I’ve gone to EVERY midnight showing, and this one won’t be different!
I’m happy you liked so many of the movie picks! I really think you’ll like Clash of the Titans, and check out D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths, it’s a super classic and has the cutest/weirdest illustrations!
Haha, aw. I’ve only been to one of the midnight showings, but it was an amazing experience. I’ll for sure go for DH. But yes, they definitely have to be looked at separately from the books.. otherwise I get too emotional about the representation and it just ruins everything.
I will check out that book! Thanks. :)
Things that I love: lists, movies, and lesbians. This has all three! Yeeessssss!
I cannot wait for Alice in Wonderland. I’m anticipating an orgasm that lasts the duration of the movie.
Also, I totes thought it was “Allison Wonderland” when I was little.
that’s real adorable.
I always thought touche (accent egu over the e) was like “too shay.” sadly, it took me 3 years of french and scouring the dictionary for the word “shay” to figure that one out…
I thought Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were three people instead of two. These are fun! To the Autostraddle powers that be: Can you make a list of these? :)
I just found out that there’s a word for all of these mishearings – mondegreen.
I love how the english language has a word for everything. Except schadenfreude.
my friend thought it was “donserlee light” instead of “oh say can you see by the dawn’s early light” and that donserlee meant pretty.
it sounds like it would mean pretty.
i STILL haven’t seen the chronicles of narnia and i need to get on that! but i am beyond excited for iron man 2 and harry potter.
omg I haven’t even started to think about what the midnight showings will be like for Deathly Hallows…super excited/incredibly sad. (also yay Narnia, Alice, and OCEAN)
I can’t even decide which one of these I am more excited for.
Harry Potter is probably going to make me cry from the minute they start showing tv spots for it all the way up until I watch the second part on DVD. Obviously, I have a lot of feelings about Harry Potter and am going to be doing a lot of crying.
I loved the first Narnia soo much but was underwhelmed by Prince Caspian. I didn’t know they were doing another one, but my excitement over magical creatures has been rekindled and I really hope this upcoming one does not disappoint.
the pessimist/horndog in me dislikes the Prince of Persia movie on the basis that it’s essentially pulling an IFC and getting rid of Farah, the polygon Carmen. I kid you not: http://www.pixelkill.com/wp-content/farah.jpg). i totes had that picture tucked away in my Lisa Frank folder back in the day, nbd.
whoops, link fail
http://www.pixelkill.com/wp-content/farah.jpg
where are you from southpaw? SORRY BUT NOT GETTING YOUR PESSIMIST/HORNDOG LINK. please inlighten me! thanks.london thomas*
damn, this is so sad! that lady is mega hot.
Can. Not. Wait. For Alice in Wonderland!
I think you might have embedded the Iron Man 2 trailer twice — the second time under Prince of Persia.
Haha, thank you for being so vigilant. I’m gonna go find a way to fix this.
Watching “Earth” drunk was defo one of the top ten most intense experiences of my life, and possibly I am looking forward to Oceans more than anything else. Ever. HELLOOOOOOO DOLPHINS
ancient cultures knew what was up.
substances + nature = good times.
Oh my, you guys… I’m trying to halt my excessive-movie-going addiction. I went between 30 & 40 times last year; I clearly do not have the time/money for this. Now you throw all of these awesome movies at me! At least they give me lots of free popcorn and tickets right? That’s justification… Right?
30-40?! i’m envious. what is this “free popcorn and tickets” business?
AMC has this fancy MovieWatcher card thing, every time you go you get points. For every 5 movies you see you get a free small popcorn or drink. Every 15 is a ticket or large popcorn & drink. Plus they have free popcorn every Wednesday & $5 weekday tickets. P.S. If you go with your friends/a hot date, let them swipe the card, gets more points. It’s quite sad that I know all of this… #nerdshame
#nerdshame?! more like #nerdwin!
I do not see movies because they are expensive but this year I will see: Harry Potter. Also I’ll probably say that I want to see Alice and Wonderland but never actually go see it.
pirate them! if a movie is in the theaters their profits are such that no guilt is neccessary.
when avatar the blue people movie was first announced i thought it was a movie version of aang the last airbender, and so i went around asking ‘is it the one about aang?’ and no one knew what i was talking about. and i don’t even watch avatar: the last airbender.
super excited for alice in wonderland, i had an audiotape kid’s version when i was little complete with songs and dramatic voices so i have high hopes for this movie.
I thought so too about Avatar! Everyone was raving about it and I got really confused. “That Last Airbender movie is out? It’s done ALREADY? And people LIKED it? I thought they were complaining about the race of the actors… o_O”
I had the same confusion over the whole “Avatar” thing. I rarely watch the tv show but I am looking forward to The Last Airbender nonetheless (Dev Patel ftw).
Also, if Avatar wins best picture I will KILL Hollywood.
I still get irrationally excited about the Harry Potter movies even though I’m always disappointed with the end result. (Dementors don’t fly, they just don’t.) In keeping with tradition, I’ll be there early again on opening night with my younger sister, who’s nice enough to turn down all her megafan friends and see it with me instead since all my friends are losers by not reading Harry Potter. And by the looks of it, I’m in the same boat with Alice in Wonderland, too.
Hmm, just saw the full trailer – Sam Worthington as Perseus? Interesting choice there. I’ll still see Clash of the Titans, which my friends know all about, even though I am a “pretentious jerk” and often I feel it’s my duty to watch these movies. Well, it can’t be worse than Alexander.
So. Excited.
Alice in Wonderland looks exciting. I still haven’t seen the latest Harry Potter for some reason.