Multiple trips to the bathroom or volunteering to be the person to run a last-minute errand is a time-honored gay tradition, because when spending time with overwhelming straight families, sometimes we really just need a Little Gay Break. If you anticipate a lot of toilet scrolling or disappearing into your phone today, why not skip the intermittent horrors of X and Meta and instead stay right here on Autostraddle dot com, where there are 15 years of gay stories, photos, games, lists, ideas, deep dives, and missives for you to feast your eyes on before, during, or after the big feast today. I’ve divided this Thanksgiving Scroll Guide into four sections: Mindless, Hilarious, Sexy, and Serious. Go with whatever vibe sounds like the nicest escape from family!
Need other ideas for breaks from your family that aren’t scrolling? I’ve got that for you, too.
Mindless
I mean honestly you should just browse the entire Quizzes section or Puzzles section, but here let me pull out some particular gems!
Holigay Quiz: What Entirely Made Up Gay Hallmark Christmas Movie Are You? by KKU
Quiz: Which Gay Holiday Archetype Are You? by KKU
Quiz: Which Queer Christmas Movie Character Are You? by Riese
Quiz: Which Fictional Gay Mom Is Your Daddy? by Riese
Am I Gay Quiz by Riese
Quiz: Which Pair of Cinematic Boys Should You Bisexually Terrorize? by Drew
Hilarious
You could also just browse the full Comedy tag, which is full of gems and classics, especially when you go a few years back when we were just blogging so chaotically (please tell us we should start blogging chaotically again).
30 Days of Carol by Erin
Literally, just read all of them.
10 Fictional Guys That Gave Me Gender Envy Growing Up Ranked by How Much I Wanted To F*ck Them by Motti
5 Trans-Affirming Surgeries I Only Want After Watching 90s Winona Ryder Movies by Drew
Everyone Is “Upset” About the Way I Cut Brownies — I Must Defend My Honor by KKU
How Happy Could I Make These Disney Villains? by Christina
Actresses Born Before My Grandma Ranked by How Badly I Want Them to Top Me by Drew
What to Say to Someone Who Met a Lesbian by Erin
Sorry, A 19th Century Woman Already Has the Best Tombstone by Erin
Are Straight Women Okay? by Erin
You could also just go through Erin’s whole author page.
10 Poison-Free Alternatives To Foods and Drinks With Poison In Them by Riese
‘Euphoria’ Characters Ranked By How Likely They’d Survive ‘Dune’ by Drew
I Got High and Watched Tello’s Latest Christmas Movie, ‘A Holiday I Do’ by Drew
I Got High and Watched ‘Saving the Gorillas: Ellen’s Next Adventure’ by Drew
Sexy
Browse the erotica archives or read our sex diaries through the years!
I’m F*cking a Married Couple Ten Years Older Than Me by Anonymous
Things I’ve Never Asked My Girlfriend of Three Years About Age Gaps, Topping, and Our First Date by KKU
I Asked the Women Who Follow Me on Instagram if They’d Like To Receive Nudes. Here’s What Happened by Summer
25 Streaming Movies With Hot Lesbian Sex Scenes by Riese and Drew
55 Literary Books With Great Lesbian Sex Inside Them by Riese and Kayla
My Girlfriend and I Got High and Came Up With Role Plays for You To Try With Your Girlfriend by Drew
I’m Going To Keep On Cruising at the Men’s Only Club by Vera
Serious
Don’t worry, this section won’t be too intense! It’s basically a mix of educational and history pieces, really compelling queer creative nonfiction that’ll make you FEEL and THINK, and cultural criticism. For when you want to escape your family physically but not escape entirely mentally today! And as a bonus, a lot of these are intentionally relevant to Thanksgiving! And be sure to check out our First Person archives, which contain so many incredible personal essays from through the past decade+.
Indigenous Resistance Movements From the 20th and 21st Centuries We Can Learn From by Stef
The Virtue of Being Apolitical by Aamina
My Favorite Thanksgiving Tradition Happens the Night Before by KKU
Immerse Yourself in the Work of Indigenous Writers With This Anti-Colonial Reading List for Thanksgiving by Stef
How To Roast a Turkey by KKU
Et Tu, Laura Ingalls Wilder? by Autumn
All Girls Want To Eat Each Other by Mallory
I Had an Affair With My College Dean by Olivia
The Limits and Possibilities of an Anti-Zionist Hanukkah by Drew
Your Fear Doesn’t Matter by Drew
