Hey there, sparkly disco balls! Welcome to the first Friday Open Thread of the Brand Spankin’ New Year. A place to nurse your lingering hangover. Or share your tall tales of New Year’s Eve debauchery. Or share adorbable pictures of your cat photoshopped with cone hats and noisemakers and confetti.
Not that I would do that or anything…
How was your New Year’s? Did you party ’til the break of dawn? Share a kiss with your sweetie or a sexy stranger? Ring in 2015 on your couch in your jammies? Watch the Dick Clark (Ryan Seacrest?) show while devouring a whole pint of vegan ice cream?
Whatever went down at the stroke of midnight, it is 2015 now, whether we like it or not! Some people make resolutions this time of year, like: “I’m going to stop kissing sexy strangers at midnight.” Or: “I’m going to kiss more sexy stranger at midnight.” Or: “I’m going to run a triathlon.” Or: “I’m finally going to ask that cute barista for her number instead of just staring at her like a weirdo.” That kind of stuff. (You can read about our resolutions here.)
Some of us are less into resolutions because we are already perfect.
But that’s not what I’m here for. I mean, tell me your resolutions, yes, but what I want, what I really really want, is to know your baaaaaaaad habits. Tell me your bad habits, the ones you wish you could quit and the ones you never want to. The embarrassing habits, the neurotic habits, the things your loved ones tease you for (Like leaving my shedded hair in the shower drain, which drives my spouse up the wall). Bring it to the confessional of the world wide web and we will hold you, share our badness together. Because we’re not here to judge. You. Do. You.
My definite worst habit is biting my nails and cuticles. It is the grossest thing about me.
via Shutterstock
I have been a nail-muncher since I was four years old and my parents tried everything to get me to stop. They used that bitter nail polish stuff, bribed me with cash money, and convinced me I was incapable of digesting nails and I was creating this huge pile of nail bits in my stomach that would live forever until I asploded and died. At almost 32 (my birthday is on Jan 6th), I still chomp my nails. In the car, watching TV, during work meetings. I bite them until they bleed, sometimes. It’s a habit, a compulsion. I don’t know how to quit. Oh gawd, it’s so gross and so embarrassing.
I’m so jealous of people with healthy nails. I try to pass mine off as super-short “good lesbian nails,” but really I am just a gross nailbiter.
I recently got a gel manicure, determined to quit biting. The nail technician was so kind about my tiny jagged little nails. She was so positive that I could do this. She believed in me. I was doing great for about two weeks, until the gel manicure started peeling. It went rapidly downhill from there. I was too ashamed to go back for my next appointment. I felt like I failed my nail tech. Sorry, Nicole.
So here I am, reaching my stubby, nasty little fingers out to you, asking for your New Year’s honesty. What are your bad habits? Do you plan to break them in 2015? Are they a part of your resolutions? Have you just made peace with yourself that this is who you are?
Also, what are you looking forward to in 2015? Did you have a rad New Year’s Eve? Are you full of hope? Dread? Gas? Tell me everything, you beautiful disasters.
How To Post A Photo In The Comments:
1. Find a photo! This is the easy part. Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL” and then…
2. Code it into your comment! Use the following code, and use a DIRECT LINK to the image. Your image link should end in .JPG or .GIF or .PNG or .CallMeWhateverYouWant even. I don’t care, but it should be an image suffix! KINDA LIKE THIS:
<img src=”http://yourimagelink.jpg”>
If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur. To learn more about posting photos, check out Ali’s step-by-step guide.
How To Post A Video In The Comments, Too:
1. Find a video on YouTube or Vimeo or WHATEVER and click “embed.” Copy that code, but first make sure it’s for 640 px wide or less. If your player is too large, it will not display properly.
2. Copy the code and paste it directly into your comment.
3. Go forth and jam.
I stress eat. I throw things under my bed instead of putting them where they belong. I binge watch TV shows instead of studying for finals. I worry and overthink everything. I tell people details about my life whether they want them or not. I say things that get me into trouble, or sometimes just really stupid things. I’m a weird juxtaposition of lazy habits and huge ambition, so much ambition that sometimes I’m embarrassed by it. But as one of my favorite artists Dessa says, “I’ve got a lot of imperfections but I don’t count my ambition in ’em.” I’ve made my peace with (some) of my bad habits. Some of them I would like to change, but others are just who I am, and that’s okay. Apologizing for myself is another bad habit of mine, one I made a resolution to stop doing.
I also refuse to leave the house for days on end if I can get away with it and shut down when people need me because all I want to do is help and help is the one thing I feel I can’t do. Those are things I am less satisfied with.
Is it possible we are exactly the same person? All of this, so much.
I love that quote! I share some of these, too. I kind of always feel like I’m failing a little bit at everything, but I guess if I was a glass half full person, I’d say I’m winning a little bit at everything?
Maybe?
But I love your resolution to stop apologizing for yourself. I support you 100%!
hi doodles!
well, my bad habit I’m doing right now is noodling around on the internet while my poor dog is waiting to go out to pee. She’s not fussing, but she is definitely waiting.
Oh, I’m just a run-of-the-mill gossip who washes her hair twice a week and is super challenged to eat like, half the bag of cookies and not the whole bag of cookies, and more specifically to eat all but one cookie, and be like,”girlfriend, I saved you one!” and she’s like “I don’t know why you bothered.”she hates that.
and, I don’t know, I have been moderating this more lately, but I have very much been the girl who gets drunk at parties and remembers all her aspirations to have joined Upright Citizens Brigade and is like OMG GUYS I AM THE FUNNIEST AT CHARADES. That, or being like, “Did I tell you this one thing about this one time about my sordid sexual past? Remember my sordid sexual past? I had one, you know!”
And when I have an office job I am a zillion percent of the time on the internet reading bullshit and chatting. And sometimes working! And I knit through meetings just to make it clear that they don’t have my undivided attention. Whatever they’re paying me, it’s not enough for my undivided attention.
I’ll think of more soon.
I think you sound very fun at parties. Like, I would not mind getting drunk and playing charades with you and also learning about your sordid sexual past. That sounds pretty great, actually.
That sounds great! It’s so much fun when people are into it! But my friends that are more like, shrinking violet types are like “Meow meow, tee-rex, sometimes you interrupt us with your loud stories, and I never get to talk because you are like HA HA NO THIS ONE TIME I TOOK MUSHROOMS AND THE GIRL I WAS SEEING SAID WE WERE LOVERS IN A PREVIOUS LIFE BUT THEN IT GOT SUPER WEIRD”, because like honestly most of my friends are introverty, I have learned to like, dial it back a little. So I tell my slutty stories without yelling.
Yeah to minimal hair washing!!! I just don’t need to wash it every day. And then there’s dry shampoo. And I dunno. Is it a bad habit? I’ve never thought of it as one. Maybe poor hygiene by American standards…lol.
If you would like to get drunk and then tell me about your sordid sexual past, I’d be very up for that.
I used to no-poo but it really super doesn’t work for my hair, so I just wash it not that much. I def use dry shampoo, but like, gf is not into my kinda-greasy hair.
Good, great, next A-Camp I’m anticipating a “tell your slutty stories” sharing circle. Will be my first! But planning on it, finances willing.
with the obvious ground rules of we’re not slut-shaming, and mostly in the spirit of being fun and funny and non-one-upmanship. and you can tell your friend’s stories as long as you change identifying information. (bc nobody has ever tried to seduce me in 2008 by being like “have you ever seen high school bc I look just like zac efron”- but it happened to my friend!)
I want to come to all your parties oh my goddd
I second this motion. Snacks and sordid stories circle.
Dry shampoo makes me 5000% less gross on a weekly basis
Thank you Dry Shampoo you are a True Friend
You totally wash your hair double the amount of times I do so… Also sordid sexual stories, aren’t they just part of that queer friends overshare thing… I’m pretty sure when I was in my early 20s it was just something my queer friends and I discussed on the reg.
With you on the cookies. I should put down the pack.
yeah man but now all my friends are married and shit, and it’s less cute or something.
Empathy for the nail biting problem – I do it too, have done since I was really little. These days I do it more when I’m stressed or anxious about something, so I occasionally have relaxed periods of time when they grow a bit but then something stress-inducing happens and I decimate them again. *sigh* “Stop biting nails” has been an annual New Year’s Resolution for what seems like forever.
As I kid, I too bit my nails. Over time, that evolved into chewing and picking at my cuticles, which I now do incessantly, whenever I’m consuming any form of media or waiting nervously in public places. See, the difference between biting your nails and chewing/picking at your cuticles is that nailbiting gives you jagged buzzsaw nails 100% of the time, while picking at cuticles produces a satisfying “shedding old skin” feeling about 80% of the time… and a BLOODY MANGLED MESS the other 20%. “Stop obliterating the skin by my nails” has been a resolution of mine for yeeears, and still that skin remains red, raw, cracked, and bleeding. Eeeuururgh.
I feel you both so much.
I also pick my cuticles and the skin around my nail beds. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! I know it is yucky and I am seriously embarrassed by it and I really can’t stop.
Me too, it’s the worst. I’m going to be in charge of a bunch of ninth graders starting January 5th, and I still bite my nails/cuticles/etc, and sometimes they bleed during dry weather. Somehow people still think I’m responsible though?!?
I did both of these things till at 42 I had my first fake nails put on. I routinely had them renewed every 2 weeks for 10 years. Unfortunately it took that long to break the habit. I havn’t worn fakes now for 11 years nor have I bitten either nails or cuticles. A bit drastic I know, but nothing else ever worked. My nails are still deformed from all those years of chewing them down to my elbows but they are now strong,neat and pain free. Good Luck with finding something that works for you all. Happy New Year to everyone too!!
Oh I totally do this too. Sometimes it’s just really satisfying until it starts to bleed. It is the worst habit and I wish I could quit too. I tried using the polish that tastes bad but then you can’t eat food with your hands or do anything that involves fingers near mouths.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY NEW YEAR! -jumps around all excited like and throws confetti-
The nail biting is SUCH A THING. sorry all, i feel EXTREMELY HYPER RIGHT NOW. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. it’s terrible, even my wife gets on my case! I briefly stopped for like a couple of years before high school because my mom got me to clap every time my hand was going to my mouth. I also do this thing where I like just randomly pick on parts of my skin where I feel a bump. I don’t even care what the bump is, I just do it. And I get really really fidgety when I’m in like a conversation. TOO MANY NERVES.
I hope everyone’s 2015 is rocking \m/ I’ve already secured a work day this year!! and it’s only the 2nd!
I can also be pretty bad about hiding the truth from my parents especially about my person. I don’t mean to and I know they’ve somehow come to terms with it but I just can’t seem to just say ‘oh well Christine baked cookies like we did today’ or something casual. I’m so tired of having to ‘walk on egg shells’ when it comes to her and my parents are involved. I feel ashamed sometimes. I’m 25 going on 26 and I think I should be able to be more confident when it comes to our relationship. I think deep inside I just know they will still have negative reactions. Oh well, here’s to saying goodbye to that!! I gotta have nerves of steel when I tell them I’ll be moving out later this year and she and I will begin to work on her papers.
*PRAY FOR/WISH ME WELL EVERYONE*
Awwwww look at my wife and our monkey!! Bubbles. (Yes named after Michael Jackson’s monkey)
And the cat. It did this weird pose the other day as a way of saying HAPPY NEW YEAR.
PS cat is longer than it appears. #jessymeowington
I think your cat just seduced me?
YOUR CAT SHOULD BE A MODEL.
Congrats!!!! That is way exciting!!!
P.S. As the most-likely-to-disappoint-my-parents child of my family, I just wanna say that feeling shame isn’t your fault. That’s kinda’ the way shame works. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with you if other people are putting shame on you. You just have to decide whether you are going to care or not about preserving their feelings at the expense of your own. I know you know that, but I am just saying I feel you and that you are doing it all right! GOOD LUCK! Family stuff is hard and it seems to never end. When someone masters it, I hope they’ll let us all know.
Thanks Kaelyn. =) i guess i just have to anticipate anything anyone in the family will say. Yes and hopefully when a wonderful straddler will master any family situation they will make an article=)
good luck !
Best of luck with all of that. Family expectations are the hardest.
P.S. Your cat is supurr sassy.
Best of luck! It will all work out!
I don’t change the litterbox until it’s truly terrifying and I feel horribly guilty about being a bad cat mama and even then I procrastinate and OMG I’m doing it right now! I’m so sorry, cats! You deserve better!
(shame)
Me, too. The ASPCA is going to take my cat for poor litter conditions and stinkiness. She’s so clean. Poor kitty.
I feel like 99.9% sure you are good cat parents and definitely better than most. LOL.
Hahaha. I thought I was truly the only person that did that.
I had the best New Year’s Eve of my life. I was convinced I would leave the party in tears, but I left with the biggest smile, thanks to a certain someone. Yesterday (Jan 1), a piece of information I learned NYE hit me, and I’ve been freaking out since. I woke up sick (and have since completely lost my voice), and I have to call out of work tonight, which I hate doing. Also, I got a bunch of last minute Indiegogo donations for my play (the campaign ended last night), and my heart is warm. Also also, my best friend from college moved back to NYC yesterday.
2015 is going to be awesome…I hope. Lez do this!
Hooray! What a great end to 2014!
Well one bad habit I have is that I can raise my voice when I get into a heated discussion with my parents. If you ask them another bad habit is saying no to almost everything(but, they say that about my sister also). Then again I don’t my parents would be the only one saying that.
New years itself I was passed out in bed still recovering from the flu, and all the meds I was/am on. It’s the first day in a while I am at work and it’s pretty cold as fuck, specially since Los Angeles and I am not in the local mountains, so I am bundled up. The up side is all the layers allowed me to wear breast forms to work without anyone realizing it. Yay. That’s also another nice thing about winter wearing sports bras and no one noticing.
On a side note: I got into another argument with my father regarding pronouns. He still thinks it’s his choice somehow. I don’t see how MY pronouns are someone else’s choices since they are who I am and use! I may as a test change his pronouns and see how that works out Thoughts, suggestions, or comments?
Hope you are feeling better!
I don’t know how to win the argument with your father. Maybe someone else does. But I hope you know we’re here for ya’!
Thank you! All I want him to respect is I am not his son, but child and I hate being referred to with male pronouns.
I feel you. I wish I had arguments that worked because goodness knows I could use them too.
(Ugh, I’m just frustrated by yet another argument that “they” can be singular. I have been told that no, it’s not because that’s not how historically it’s been used AND because that just because it’s been used that way in the past doesn’t mean it’s proper to use now by the same person in the same breath. Those arguments are mutually exclusive. GAHHHHH.)
The arguments on our side are sound. The problem is other people refuse to be compassionate or rational. LOL.
I feel like that is definitely not too much to ask. I wish there was a way to magically make cis people understand how hurtful it is to misgender people, ESPECIALLY loved ones. It sounds like he is just not being supportive, which sucks. I hope he will understand, eventually. In the meantime, I hope you have other people in your life who will listen to and support you. That can help a lot. ::hugs::
Thank you friend.
My 12yo sister recently discovered the High School Musical franchise and I’m preeeeeetty sure I spotted a scissoring shirt making a cameo?
oH MY GOODNESS. I’m in college, and a few of my friends and I recently made all of our friends who had never seen the HSM movies watch them. (Their reactions were priceless, but) HOW DID WE MISS THAT?!?!?
Thank you for pointing out that extremely crucial piece of movie trivia!
Your friends should be grateful to have you in their lives.
Oh, nail biting. My parents tried the nasty taste stuff too, and I LIKED it. I eventually disallowed biting of one nail at a time until I was left with only my right thumb. Took awhile to let that go, but I finally, after years and years, quit. Good luck!
I’m the world’s worst and starting projects and not finishing them. I’m not even sure how much partially-completed stuff is around here. It’s not even all big stuff; a lot of it would take no time at all to wrap up. I have no excuse.
This isn’t exactly a habit, but I can’t cook one single tiny bit. I’m not kidding when I say I can’t cook an egg. No one taught me, and I had a severe ED going by the time it would have been reasonable to teach myself. I am waaaay old enough (er, more than old enough) to not burn the kitchen down by now. It’s a hassle, you end up eating the same stuff all the time, and it’s expensive. If anyone knows if there is a place you can generally find a basic kitchen class (tech schools? community college adult ed?), I would really appreciate the help. This is just sad.
I have 12 unanswered texts. I think that speaks for itself. Weirdly, I check and respond to email every .05 seconds.
I spend far too much time on the Internet. It usually involves having a crazy number of browser windows open because I’m thinking in 20 directions.
I write mean tweets about the guy who lives about me and what I imagine he’s doing. The fantasy life I’ve concocted for him is probably a lot richer than whatever is really going on.
I have a YouTube playlist planned out for my brother’s divorce party. He’s not getting divorced. I just wish he was.
I have a super-bizarre eccentric older neighbor who refers to himself in third person. We talk smack about the other people in the complex. Then we complain about our health problems. Actually, that sounds like the Golden Girls when I write it out.
And I take pictures of things I find inappropriately funny. In public.
And I sometimes cry at scenes of literary/historical significance, because I am a nerd. This would be the Thomas Wolfe House in Asheville, NC, site of me sobbing in the room where “Ben” died. If you know what I’m talking about, please be my friend forever.
I take pictures of bathroom stall graffiti. If you hear a camera click in a stall, that’s me. Don’t call security.
And I have the sense of humor of a small child. A really immature small child. Again, this involves public pictures (a decoy distracted the booth vendor so I could get this one).
http://imgur.com/PB6WA7z,3bD7Yed,WJu1u6X,Dw4nV5Z#3
I cook, but I never knew how to make scrambled eggs until a few months ago! You literally just put an egg in a pan with some butter. Who knew. My rec would be to check out Budget Bytes, Beth’s website has so many easy recipes and she breaks down the cost of everything so you can decide what’s affordable for you. I had never cooked at all until I found that website and tried a couple different things. It’s actually a lot easier than I thought. Baking is too precise for me, cooking you can change things up a lot and still come out with something tasty in the end. I don’t even measure ingredients anymore.
Budget Bytes has just the ring to it I was looking for– I’ll study that. The cost breakdown will be really helpful. Thanks for the website and the encouragement!
Budget Bytes is legit one of my favorite recipe blogs ever. It practically singlehandedly taught me how to grocery shop on my sad freelancer paycheck. Plus the step by step photos are SO HELPFUL and I need all recipe websites to do that forever.
The picture I have is terrible, but my favorite graffiti is from Elliot Bay’s bathroom (a Seattle bookstore/cafe):
Person 1: Sometimes I feel the need to express something. I don’t know what it is, or how to express it.
Person 2: it might behoove you to practice your ways of expression in a private diary than a public restroom. This store can probably help you out!
That’s great. Pseudo-philosophical meandering followed by common-sense sales pitch. I couldn’t find the picture I was actually looking for– someone quoted Ayn Rand (in the women’s room), and then someone else went off on a diatribe/feminist critique (pretty spot-on) that practically covered the stall wall. This was in the back-backwoods of SC– I remember that the phone didn’t even pick up a location for the picture.
Do you ever call the number just to see if it’s anything interesting? I did once a decade ago when in high school. Turned out to be the number to the school nurse.
Oh, yeah. Guilty. I haven’t ever gotten anyone who knows what I’m calling about– even if they (apparently) put the number there.
I probably need a hobby. One that doesn’t potentially involve jail time.
advice re cooking: just look up a recipe with good directions and give it a shot. if you fuck it up, try again. a lot of cooking is just direction following and being willing to keep trying even if it doesn’t turn out how you want the first time you try. practice makes perfect and all.
Very true. I’m inpatient, and that’s the problem. I want to do it right the first time. But you’re absolutely right, of course. I just need really simple directions– sometimes I don’t understand what they’re telling me to do (guess I don’t know the terms). Obviously need to do a bit of googling here and gather up some possibles.
Too much internet. Yes. Guilty here too.
“I take pictures of things I find inappropriately funny. In public.” Not a bad habit at all! A very amusing one. :)
Also, I can relate to the not-cooking thing. It’s not so much that I can’t cook though; it’s that I’m lazy about it. I would seriously recommend a crockpot, it’s the best thing I ever got for my kitchen. You can get a small one (3.5 qt) for $10, and crockpot meals are so easy! Just throw stuff in, heat for a few hours, and come home to savory-smelling apartment (unless you’re cooking broccoli or brussel sprouts, in which case it stinks a little but still tastes good).
Someone else told me to think about a crockpot for starting out. I thought they were more expensive (not sure where I got that idea)– that’s good to know. I also get a little overwhelmed if I have to drag out the prep process too long, so that would be really helpful.
This list makes me want to be your friend. Also, I second everything being said about Budget Bytes. I make one of Beth’s recipes at least once a week. Her crockpot bean recipes are tops. I always have several containers of her (Not) Refried Beans and Kick the Can Black Beans in my freezer.
A bad habit that I have is that I keep buying books despite having a pile of unread ones. It’s really not a good thing because I already have access to a great library nearby and also despite the number of unread books in my place, I just can’t seem to resist a sale at the bookstores (physical or online) and it’s becoming clutter of piles of books around the bedroom, not to mention a noticeable strain on the wallet.
I discovered this word that describes it awhile back; so I’m glad to know I’m not alone.
I think part of the issue is a weird anxiety that if I don’t get a book, I might not find it later (which is a bit silly with internet bookstores) and also that I don’t ever want to not have books to read.I have been actively trying to slow down on the buying but not totally stop it (still need to support authors and artists!) and also work on reducing the to-read pile.
2015 has been nice so far~ Hopefully it goes on like this slow and steady~
Thank you for finding the name for the irrational urge to BUY ALL THE BOOKS.
That word (with that picture) was my FB banner for quite awhile. I’m trying to slow down and working on a heavy move-related weed (got to stop hauling all these around), but I still can’t stop. I really like to mark up books so I can find passages later, and I have a weird anxiety that I won’t have just the right thing to read at some unspecified time in the future. And I have been a librarian until recently, so I have no excuse whatsoever.
*whispers* Can I introduce you to this neat new trick I just found for marking quotes or lines from books?
http://blog.highfivehq.com/posts/a-little-known-hack-from-japan-to-get-your-notebook-organized
It’s more for quotes or shorter bits but I have similar problems trying to backtrack to parts of books I want to look at later. Also actively trying to use up a stack of notebooks around; I had a stationery buying problem too… (=_=);;
oh my god, I’ve developed such a huge book buying problem this past year and I seriously can’t afford to buy books all the time… I feel your pain!!
But I just love books, ya know? Hopefully I can slow down on the pile of unread books that have been quickly accumulating these past few months as well. Good luck!!
Yes, the books. So many books. Now, though, about half of the books I buy-but-don’t-read or on a Kindle, rather than physically stacking up. I guess that’s a good thing.
Oh so many books, such piles of shame… I will read them all this year…oh look I just bought another book to add to the pile.
Thanks for naming the above compulsion. It’s not going anywhere but at least it now has a name.
I’m an awful nailbiter too. I also just discovered Trivia Crack yesterday so I ended up coming in to the office later than planned today because I couldn’t stop playing. I haven’t spent money on it… yet.
I feel so good knowing so many of us are nailbiters. Who knew?
What is this Trivia Crack? I have a bit of a problem with getting hooked on games on my phone… This could be bad.
Only the best app ever for recalling things you might have learned in 5th grade
Oh wow, I feel like I’d suck at that. Haha.
Remember that show, “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? I wasn’t. I wasn’t smarter than a 5th grader…
Trivia Crack is so addicting, I’ve literally lost sleep over it
HITTING THE SNOOZE BUTTON. IT’S A REALLY SERIOUS PROBLEM, Y’ALL.
that being said i do not plan to stop letting eli bark at other dogs indiscriminately this year
I plan extra time for snooze button when I set my alarm and I’m STILL late getting up.
I think we need this:
http://www.amazon.com/Clocky-Alarm-Clock-Runs-Raspberry/dp/B0013CTFQ4
“When alarm sounds, Clocky leaps from your nightstand and runs away”
I was so late for work today…my first day back after the holidays. Dammit snooze button.
My bad habits: I smoke and if I don’t have to go to school or work, I can’t wake up early. I hate it because I wanna be a morning person so bad, but I. just. can’t.
Also I don’t think that it can really be considered a “bad habit” but I can’t argue with anyone (except my mother. Years and years of practice.) without crying. It sucks, it makes me feel like I’m 7 and because of it I tend to avoid any type of confrontation. But sometimes you just have to fight it out, you know? I need lessons.
Unrelated: I just watched Pride, I laughed, I cried, I’m in love with Steph and I want this woman to adopt me.
I refuse to be a morning person. Sleeping til 2pm is self-care, right? Maybe?
Ugh the arguing/crying thing is so real.
it’s so annoying too cuz in my experience, people act like you’re trying to manipulate them. like, nope, sorry, just having feelings but please let’s carry on.
Same, I can’t get into an argument without crying, and it doesn’t help that most people that I’d argue with would start mocking me for crying which makes me more upset because I fucking hate crying to start with. So I just don’t confront people ever. It’s a real problem.
I gave up trying to stop biting my nails. I realized that for me it was all other people who wanted me to stop. I don’t actually mind biting my nails, I don’t feel the need to stop right now.
I try to be a really positive person but I realized that I am still pretty negative about a lot of things. I complain a lot and I hate feeling so negative. This year I’m going to be conscious of when I am being negative and if it isn’t important then I’ll stop myself.
I think that’s a great resolution!
Up until recently, I haven’t cared much about it, but lately I’ve been feeling more self-conscious about my nails and, also, I am so jealous of people with cool nail designs.
Jamberry came on the scene and I was so sad I couldn’t partake because they look so cool!
My bad habit is nail/cuticle/etc. biting, like so many of the people above.
My resolutions are to kick ass at student teaching and to finally ask the girl out who I’ve liked for the past year and a half! (In my defense, she studied abroad last semester, so I didn’t want to ask her out right before she left. But we did have a thing going, so here’s to hoping she’s still interested.)
Good luck!!!
Hello straddlers. My bad habit is procrastination and I have procrastinated telling my dad I’m bringing a friend who is a girl to a family wedding up until the 11th hour. I am 29 and have been on my own for three years and I’m cranky that my cousins just got to show up with dates and not have a big to-do. (Extended family knows, doesn’t care, loves me.)
My dress is friggin awesome though: http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/ava-swing-turquoise-taffeta.html
That dress is so cute! I love the bustline.
Does it help if I say I think anything is possible in that dress?
Holey MOLEY! Are you planning to wear your hair like it is in your picture? Because you have amazing hair.
I’ve been a cuticle picker/ripper since I was 10. I do bite my nails too, but constantly wearing nail polish has seemed to cute that. I drink too much. I sleep in whenever I get the chance. In the last year or so I’ve developed a punctuality problem. I also smoke sometimes (tbh any amount is too much for me).
This is weird but I have a bad habit of throwing toliet paper in the bathroom trash instead of flushing it down the toliet… It comes from a childhood fear of toilets overflowing. It was fine when I lived alone but now I live with someone who doesn’t appreciate overflowing the overflowing trash situation.
Living with another human changes many things. Because we all do hella weird things when we are alone. LOL. Thanks for sharing!
I partied in New Year’s Eve, but I was asleep by the time dawn broke. However, that was because I did indeed get a kiss from a sexy stranger (and then some, woo hop).
I have a nervous habit of drumming my fingers. I”ve made peace with it, but it bugs some people, so I try not to when those folks are around.
Looking ahead for 2015, I am currently full of sour gummy worms, so I’ll have to get back to you on that one.
Happy New Year’s, indeed!
I’m a foot-tapper, myself.
I spent my NYE on the vegas strip mostly trashed and talking about toast for literally hours. Also I kind of lost yesterday, I think? idk. Happy 2015, Autostraddle!
Happy 2015! Hope you found some toast when you sobered up!
You were on the Strip for New Years? You brave soul!
I just need to love myself and appreciate all the compliments on my looks. Also hoping for another great school year
You look great!
^^ I mean it, but also for practice on your resolutions!
I’m late on commenting, but legit you’re a sweet slice o’ cake!
Does anyone have a job where they work outside? I like to hear about people’s jobs now that I’m entering the workforce (ahh).
I am of no help. I have all inside-jobs. My doctor says I have a Vitamin D deficiency, seriously, probably because I don’t go outside ever. It’s common in this part of NYS, apparently, tho. We sit indoors most of the year! :/
I dont’t work outside but I do have to travel often for my job and my office looks after all of Western Canada so I have been able to see some pretty remote locations that I would never travel to see on my own which is kind of neat.
Congrats on starting a new Life chapter! I have an outdoors job. It’s awesome because I generally can’t stand being indoors/at a desk/in front of a computer.
thanks :) what is your job?
I pedicab. It’s not a forever job but it’s tons of fun right now! What kind of work have you been looking for?
I have an outside job!! Despite the frequently terrible pay, I love it. Unfortunately though, it is only seasonal (because for some reason, people don’t want to go rafting in the winter? Also, there’s this problem of rivers freezing over), but I’m looking for another guide job elsewhere for winters (probably Central/South America because the cost of living is much lower there than NZ or Australia and also because I have connections in the Americas).
Being a rafting guide has always sounded like an awesome job to me! How did you get into it?
This is a weird question for me because the first ever family vacation me & my parents did was a whitewater rafting trip on the Green and Yampa rivers when I was 5. I pretty much fell in love with that and all other outdoorsey stuff right there, and actually making money while doing that stuff was the stuff of impractical daydreams until I was 18 and realized that it was actually a job that real people have, so thusly I could also have it? And I was fortunate to be located close to a company that did some class II/III stuff. Since then, I’ve moved companies and rivers and run some class III/IV+ stuff guiding and I run class V+ stuff for funsies in my kayak (or with friends in rafts/shredders, as you can fit a lot more beer in a shredder or a raft than in a kayak).
And honestly, a lot of rafting companies are always looking for people. Both times I applied for jobs I was showed up as was like “hello I would like a job here please; look at my recommendations they are great” and once I showed that I knew what I was doing and got the mandatory state licenses bullshit taken care of I was a real-life raft guide! It depends a bit on the company and area, though. Some companies do more formal training (more like hazing tbh), and the rivers that are more renown and widely trafficked are less likely to want to take rookies who have no experience. If you’re looking for a job that’s outdoors that’s a ton of fun and you’re in an area that has rivers, I’d say it’s worth looking into, even as a weekend gig. I will throw in a warning that raft guides are mostly dudes, and most of them are pretty sexist and dealing with them can be a major downer at times, and that as a non-dude, you’ll have to do more work to prove that you’re capable than a dude ever would.
Over the last couple of years I got into the worst bad habit (if you can call it that), which is that every time I’m drunk I cause a so much trouble it’s unbelievable (I spent my nye convincing the fire brigade there was no fire in the house). Other things that happened last year: I accidentally stole something worth 50 pounds and was too afraid to return it, I smashed 20 beer glasses against a wall and got kicked out of a bar and I accidentally took home the wrong bike and had to go back to find my own. I swear to god I’m trying to be a decent human being! But to be honest, sometimes I do quit drinking but then my life gets boring, so I’m afraid nothing will ever change. Happy new year!
Oh my, let’s brainstorm some hobbies that will alleviate boredom that will not result in chaos. How about knitting? Does that sound fun? Scrapbooking?
I have some things I do because I tell myself I’m bored otherwise, but they are kind of just excuses to keep from actually having to be present.
My bad habit is spending too much time at work. I get paid for a 40-hours a week, but I’m spending like 45-50 hours a week there along with being a full time student. It would be great if I could stick to the 40, but I’m afraid I’m going to miss something important, but it is also making me hate my job. Any suggestions? Oh, and I also don’t clean the litter box as often as I should.
I hear you. I’m much the same. I would say, uh…I don’t know. Any workaholics with tips?
One thing I do better now than I used to is that when I unplug from work, I really unplug. So if it’s a weekend and I don’t have any things for work that I HAVE to do, I will not check my work email, etc, and only respond to urgent messages.
Also, I have come to terms with the reality that I’m never going to be 100% on top of my to-do list. There will always be more to do. I will be late getting something done more often than I’d like. But the world will keep turning. As long as I’m not actually slacking at work, everything will be OK. I think of my list of things to-do now more as a never-ending guide than as something I’m ever going to get to the bottom of.
Others have tips for work/life balance?
My bad habits:
1. nail/cuticle mangling like so many others
2. telling lies for no reason (the A+ essay about lying hit so close to home)
3. spending too much time in front of the mirror itemizing my flaws, and
4. canceling plans last minute (telling people I’m too busy when really I just want to stay home and watch bad tv, see #2).
I also lie for no reason! I know, it was like @internrachel was speaking to my soul. My partner thinks it’s so weird. Like, why do you just randomly lie about things of little importance.
No shame for #4. We’ve all done it! Somehow, saying, “I just don’t feel emotionally ready for outside contact or to get off the couch” seems rude/weird.
My bad habit is definitely overthinking everything. Did I just have a 2 minute conversation? Yes. Will I spend the next 20 minutes dissecting it in my head? Yes. The same applies to emails, text conversations and Friday open thread comments.
My NYE was pretty fantastic. Hung out with a few friends and we all laughed a lot and had fun.
Also, I am posting this from the massive blanket fort that I built in my apartment. I think I like 2015 so far.
So relate.
Do you ever recreate scene outloud, including what you would have said differently? I definitely don’t do that…
Happy New Year’s!
Out loud? Nope. In my head? Maybe…ok I do it out loud too.
“Did I just have a 2 minute conversation? Yes. Will I spend the next 20 minutes dissecting it in my head? Yes.”
YES. THIS. I can relate so much. I’ve really tried to make a point of consciously (even out loud) telling myself to STOP ruminating because it is entirely pointless.
Also, blanket forts are the best. :D Yay for a happy start to 2015.
Oh the constant brain whirring horror of over analysing into the small hours that prevents me from sleeping. If anyone has a solution to this habit I’d love to know what it is!
Also Blanket forts five ever.
Bad habit to get rid of this year: road rage. I’m sorry y’all, but when someone’s in the left lane and they aren’t going the speed limit, it drives me INSANE.
My New Years was (almost) ruined by a sinus infection, but luckily I have you guys to keep me company! :)
Hope you are feeling better!
I gnaw at my nails like they’re made of fuckin’ cheddar cheese. I have a crazy oral fixation (cue lesbian jokes), and I constantly have stuff in my mouth (cue more lesbian jokes)…finger nails, pen caps, gum, pencils, bits of plastic. Maybe this year I’ll find either a) a new, healthier habit or b) something new to chew on that I haven’t yet discovered in my 20 years…
Good luck! If you find the secret, let me know!
I feel your pain on the nails. I reformed a bit about five years ago but I still sometimes do it out of anxiety or restlessness. SO DIFFICULT.
stay strong you can do it!!
Thanks! :)
One of my bad habits is buying music. Every Tuesday I’m on iTunes checking out want new albums have come out and buying a couple. It is so bad that if I where to have an actual cd for all of the music I own my living room walls would be covered. I also have a compulsion to touch things. When I see a texture that I haven’t felt before I have to touch it. My friends have learnt early on in our friendship to be ok with the fact that I might want to feel their clothes.
I kinda wish I was more inclined to buy music. I’m so, so into music, but these days I’m almost always wildly behind on new albums. it makes me kind of uncomfortable / concerned I’m getting old.
Lip-biting all the time always.
Also happy New Year! :)
Lip biting can be so cute, though!
Happy 2015!
I also am a nail biter/cuticle chewer.
I’ve managed to…mostly…stop thanks to also having a smoking habit and I may be the only person, let alone lesbian, to get a tongue ring not for, ahem, intimate reasons, but in an attempt to have something else to toy with rather than nail biting.
And my NYE was okay. I find myself irked at myself as the person I had been occasionally sleeping with is maybe going to be dating someone else so I can’t sleep with her anymore. I’m annoyed not because she is, cause I’m whatever the female equivalent of confirmed bachelor is (confirmed butchelor?) and she wants a relationship, but mostly because I want to get laid. And she’s in town all this week. At the house.
If your life is ever made into a sitcom, it should be called “Confirmed Butchelor.” Like Two and a Half Men with less misogyny.
My new year’s was spent with an awful stomach virus that kept me up until 4:30 that morning… Nearly 3 days later and I’m finally feeling like I’m not dead. *throws confetti* Hopefully that was just a shitty way to end a somewhat shitty year and that 2015 brings in less stomach virus gross-ness and more good stuff.
I seriously feel you on the nail biting thing. Sometimes my nails are just absolutely perfect and great to show off, and other times they’re just gross jagged monstrosities. I think I bite them when I’m seriously bored or seriously stressed, but that’s just a guess.
I guess my big bad habit is how I kinda shut down possible friendships and relationships because I’m too busy with work and school to have enough energy for friends and social stuff too. Gotta find the balance there somewhere!
Glad you are feeling better!
I wish I had the answer to work/school/social balance! Tell me when you figure it all out. Or write a book.
Thanks KaeLyn! And you’ll be the first to know if/when I figure that out!
Haha man, I thought I’d never stop biting my nails. I got over the habit when I started high school, cuz I noticed that my teeth were crooked because of it. I hated the idea of braces more than anything. (funny thing is I have braces now, but I am actually p cool with them)
Another weird old habit of mine was biting the inside of my mouth?? Like on the sides, and I’d try to nibble off all the dead tissue. Inevitably I would often make my mouth bleed. I dunno why I was doing that, I think it was a weird “teething” thing for when my adult teeth were coming in? I was into biting, I guess. ;p Eventually I got over it by eating a lot of gummy worms.
As for New Year’s Day, it was pretty chill. Hung out with dad, ate rice, watched a movie. The only bad thing was that I had to turn down a friend who has this huge crush on me. Sucks even more because she has already been going through a rough time. Unfortunately a relationship just wouldn’t have worked out, not yet anyways. (I’m too old for her…)
But on another note, another good friend of mine is now dating someone!! (The person asked them out on New Year’s, so cute) So like, 98% of my friends are dating someone now. XD
I know I shouldn’t feel bad for writing a lot on here, it’s just that my posts always turn out WAY longer than expected. Anyways, I hope you all had a nice start to 2015!
Honesty is the best policy. Good on you for being upfront!
Did you know my favorite food is rice? Because it is. I feel like that’s a really terrible Asian stereotype, but it’s true. I could just eat rice–any kind of rice–all day, every day. So, therefore, your NYE sounds FANTASTIC.
Yes, thank you! I know it would’ve been even worse down the road if I had done the opposite.
Well it’s a fact of life that rice is one of the best things ever!! Hehe, thank you!
Casually mentioning in conversation that you had an adult teething phase might be interesting . . .
All my posts are too long. If I speak, I say about two words (unless I know you). If I type, I don’t know what happens.
Oh yes, the things I share on Autostraddle. :D Guess I’m just super comfortable around y’all.
I’m the exact same way. And yeah when it comes to speaking, if I know you it’ll seem like I’m the most social person in the world! Sometimes I believe it, too, until I talk to strangers again. So yeah, I totally feel ya. Thanks for responding to my post!
My pleasure! Since you’re technically a non-stranger, since you’re on my computer screen, and no, I don’t understand that works.
Yay for a positive start to the new year spent with family!
Don’t apologize for your long posts, I always enjoy reading them. That’s what open threads on here are for. :)
(Also, I ate 4 different rice-containing dishes today. Definitely going through a rice phase lately.)
Aww, thank you! You’re absolutely right. c:
Rice-phase, haha. I think I am, too. It’s just so good and versatile…!
This is kinda embarrassing to tell but it worked for me. I used to bite the hell out of my nails. Until one day, in my senior year. I was sitting outside on a lunch bench waiting for class to start when I started to bite my nails. Then I got lost in thought. Daydreaming of something. When the bell rang and snapped the hell out of it, I realized that I was gnawing at my finger and drool was running down my arm.
I mean, really. That did it. I stopped. It’s been 15 years.
As for what I’m looking forward to in 2015? New music by Björk, Sleater-Kinney + tour, and PJ Harvey’s new album which was announced today to be recorded in front of an audience as a part of an art exhibit and if you are lucky enough to live in London and snag tickets, I envy/hate you so much right now.
That PJ Harvey thing sounds so cool!
And PJ Harvey fans on this side of the Atlantic wept, seeing their chances of watching this recording diminish. Or at least that’s what I did.
I’m still crying. It’s so not fair! I missed seeing her perform live with Patti Smith. Now, this?! *sobs*
I guess my worst habit is that I don’t give myself breaks to take time for myself and do something enjoyable. I’m in grad school and have a hard time distancing myself mentally from the never-ending succession of tasks I need to complete. I do better now than when I was an undergrad, back when my friends had to make ultimatums to force me away from my books. Three years working in a small non-profit broke me of that level of perfectionism.
So far my New Year has been great. I’ve spent time with good friends and tonight I watched both seasons of Unicorn Plan-It. So thanks to Autostraddle for making that exist.
Yay Unicorn Plan-It!!!
I thought instead of listing my bad habits, which there’s not enough internet for, I should list my good ones. Nope, still haven’t come up with one.
But your profile pic is of the worst cat, so you must have good qualities!
Unfortunately, good qualities do not = good habits.
But since it’s a new year, which is apparently an awesome time to talk about all the ways we fail as humans. I decided to develop a good habit. So I washed my wine glass after dinner, with scotch.
Also, I too thought that if spent enough money on my nails I’d stop biting them. Wandering into a nail salon screaming, “Fix me! This disgusting!” is something I would recommend with a great deal of caution to most people, most masculine of center folks in particular. It was an experience, I’m still not sure if it was a good or bad one though.
You’re witty in Autostraddle comments. That’s totally a good habit.
Awwww, sweet human! You’ve just made my day!
I suspect that you’ve single handedly saved me from waking up covered in scotch, after falling asleep trying to spoon the aforementioned wine glass full of scotch. One bad habit, gone! I can’t thank you enough. Changing my sheets every day was getting really old!
I’m serious though. There’s never enough sweetness in the world. And I’m not talking about the delicious hint of sweetness in scotch. Though, there’s not enough of that either.
“I suspect that you’ve single handedly saved me from waking up covered in scotch, after falling asleep trying to spoon the aforementioned wine glass full of scotch”
Ah, I see you also have my Wednesdays mornings.
And have also made me go get a glass of scotch. Which is what my night needed! Thank you in return!
You two are just warming my heart in the cockles area. Cheers!
KaeLyn…doll, one person’s bad habits are another’s personality quirks.
Really needed to use that gif because it’s great and I’ve figured out how to talk like Mae West. >D
Biggest bad habit of mine is the escapism thing, I don’t seems to cope I seem to try to escape. Into fiction, music, sex or digital games. Some of the fiction and digital games I think help me process or deal a somewhat.
As a “tween” I tried to numb myself out to feelings and other things that I thought would make me weak. Like crying out because of pain. The only access to feelings I had or allowed were anger and satisfaction when people were noticeably scared, intimidated or distressed in some way by me.
So the shitty coping skills thing makes sense.
I’ve got access to the rest of my feelings now, obviously cause I list my feels here all the fricking time, just uh the thirst to mess with people still exists and sometimes bubbles up to the surface in uh ways.
Awkward bad habits:
How much I explain stuff or feel like I’m suppose to explain stuff. Also my conversational and social skills are below par leading to the bad habit of dominating conversations. Can’t get help for myself but will go battle axe getting someone else help doing the same damn tasks I would have chickened out doing for myself. Oh and letting stuff blow up like C-4 on a fucking methane tank before getting myself help if it’s something I can’t scrap my way thru alone. Thank you kindergarden teacher and other adults who abused their power for that.
Gross habits:
Popping pimples, blackheads, white heads, blackhead even if they are not mine and gettin whiny when denied. Fall asleep without brushing my teeth on da couch, rarely wash and moisturize my facelike I’m supposed ta.
Bad language habits:
To avoid slipping into ebonics I sometimes overcompensate and find myself speaking the most proper English one can manage on the American side of the Atlantic. High falutin diction makes people think you’re talking down to them ya know, na good y’all.
Additionally bits of Spanish will sometimes creep into my vocabulary and I’ll panic when that happens around people who are fluent or a part of a culture. Panic like I’m purposely stealing something when like ebonics it’s just something I grew up with on the playground that became a part of my fabric.
Still it’s appropriation of sorts because the languages of my heritage(français cajun y siciliano) are lost to me and are dying dialects. Spanish doesn’t fill that hole but I think it’s unconscious attempt to do so, maybe.
Ooh cussing, I cuss way too fucking much.
Almost forgot.
Bad eating habits:
Getting my sour fix with sea salt and vinegar chips, sour candy instead of yummy bitter fruits that are actually available and in the fridge at the moment. Eating Reese’s mini’s like popcorn or any other small chocolate candy I can pop in my mouth real quick like.
Zapp’s Potato Chips aka one of the reasons I might not be able to survive outside of Louisiana. What was life before Voodoo recipe? I don’t know mon amies but what ever it was I don’t what to go back.
Weird shit that might be a bad habit, but fuck if I know:
The Deadpool shirt, it’s like my very own grown up version of Allie’s dinosaur costume. I’m an obnoxious hyper little shit when I’m wearing it. Doing the little voices and making quips like Deadpool and physical stunts like sugared up 8 year old. Also will joke about Death seems to want to cuddle with me does that mean with have a relationship. Manslaughter, depression brain, that time a lazy river developed into class 3 rapids while I was in an innertube, the time with the stuck candy and the bystander effect, that time I was on fire with bystander effect again. She seems like she want to get close to me, Death does. What do you think ect.
Associating with MCU Bruce Banner and James Barnes.
Thinking in tactical sense where ever I go and getting fidgety when I can’t sit in a seat with a good vantage point for watching.
Stuff I refuse to consider a bad habit:
Porn, self love, kink, my imagination, loving and trying emulate the fashion style of villains, using music from Dracula by Coppola as sex soundtrack, having sex soundtracks, using dancing as foreplay or time to play again play, finding humor in mistakes and missteps, kissing people where they need it most, giving starfish hugs in bed, singing half remember songs when the mood strikes me, pulling out salsa move when I can’t figure out how the fuck to dance to something, only cutting my hair for the dead.
Hm I think that’s about it I’m a weirdo that craves veggies, hates bacon, shares too much and survives their ridiculous life like the beloved main character of a franchise.
“one person’s bad habits are another’s personality quirks”
AGREED! Thanks for sharing and celebrating your quirks!
Oh a thought I forgot to share about or for nail biters.
Finger armor :D
Would that help any?
The only reason I thought that of is the styling like villain quirk of mine which is in “I am a vampire lord mode” lately but no way I’m growing out and painting my nails on my good hand so I dug out my finger armor that covers just my fingertips for the +10 of genteel menace feelings.
On my messed up hand I’ve grown out veritable claws before.
See what I mean about the need to needlessly explain and the oversharing?
I didn’t read any of this, because that seems super personal for someone you’re inevitably going to probably be friends with. Well, I did read the last paragraph. It’s right there! And I’m wondering which franchise. There are many.
But either way, I’m trying to organize a brunch making mushroom taking thing for tomorrow. Either at my place or at a friend’s place in the quarter. I’m voting for mine because, nature. So if tripping with strangers or watching strangers trip sounds like a thing and you’re free, text me! If not, don’t text me tomorrow! But pretty much any other day I’m probably guaranteed to not be tripping and making brunch. Eggs disgust me. But I could be making something else! It’s also entirely likely that nothing will happen.
Lex, will you please just write in my diary for me? Kthx.
Lolwut?
Okay, but I hope you can read Elder Futhark runic gibberish. My Egytpian hieroglyphics are so rusty I doubt I could even manage gibberish.
BAD HABITS. I have many. Some are a little unhealthy, some are a lot unhealthy, and some are just silly. I will keep it light for this thread.
I apologize too much. “Stop apologizing so much!” “Oh, oops, sorry!” But the thing is, when it becomes such an automatic reaction, it loses its sincerity. And most of the time, it’s not even anything I need to apologize about. Hell, I’ve been apologizing my whole life for things I don’t need to. Sorry for taking up physical space in this world. Sorry for not being attracted to men. Sorry for crying. Sorry for arguing. NO. I AM NOT SORRY ANYMORE.
This is probably a common one, but I worry constantly. It’s almost a form of self-flagellation. Like, my brain seems to think that if I ruminate on a worry enough, then the worry will resolve itself. Actually, no, brain. It doesn’t work this way. So stop worrying so much, it’s pointless.
I eat while I’m driving. I eat food that shouldn’t be eaten while driving. In the dark at 4:30 am. I spill food. I don’t always pay enough attention to the road. I never text while driving, but I am often more distracted than I should be.
I fidget. I swear, I’m like a squirmy 7-year-old kid if I have to sit in place for too long. I don’t think I’d be able to survive if I had a desk job.
I always scrape up against the curb while parallel parking. Sorry, car.
Anyway, happy 2015! My new years holiday was quiet but happy. I actually think 2015 will rock, and I’m normally a pessimist. I feel like life is starting to stabilize and I actually feel more hopeful than I have in a while. I don’t have to be weak or alone or stuck. I’m free to do whatever and give the middle finger to my worries and demons and anybody who might judge me.
I’m pining for spring already. I went to Chambers Bay (the one with the bridge with all the “locks of love” that I mentioned in the last thread), and everything seemed so bright and green and blue, but it was FREEZING and my hat nearly blew off into the Puget sound.
My rich relatives are posting tropical beach photos on FB. I can post my chilly beach photos with snowy mountains and sun and the occasional completely-not-native palmtree and jellyfish blobs that look like whale snot. There’s this beach with white shell fragments all over a section of it, with full exposure to the bright afternoon sun, which makes the water warm-ish in the summer, and I sometimes like to pretend it’s a little tropical paradise. But not really.
Also, a pretty rainbow photo.
Those photos are gorgeous, gorgeous! I feel calm just looking at them.
Thanks for sharing!
Here’s to 2015!
Thanks! :)
A roommate and I both apologized all the time. We had a stress banana (long story) and threw at each other every time we caught each other apologizing for non-apology stuff. It kind of worked.
I don’t know how to kill the constant worry thing. I don’t sleep much anyway, so when I’m awake in bed worrying, I make up random lists of stuff (anything– facts, people I used to know, cars in the parking lot) and go over them until I deaden myself with boredom. It’s the best thing I’ve come up with.
Ha – the stress banana sounds like a wonderful invention. :)
The list making sounds like a good idea as a way to distract your thoughts. I think distractions are my best (healthy) coping mechanism. For me, it could be something as simple as looking for sea glass at the beach, staring at the sand like a treasure hunt (Of course, this only helps if I have free time to go to the beach, not if I’m in bed or at work for example). I think anything to re-direct your thoughts helps – like thinking about something you’re looking forward to and focusing on that.
Never ever ever ever ever EVER stop posting beautiful photographs!! I love the second one, especially. Such gentle hills. Also, is this your 2nd rainbow in a row? ;)
Good luck breaking those bad habits. I’m glad you got over the apologizing thing, I think I still deal with that sometimes. Also, very glad that the year looks promising to you!
Thanks for the compliments on the photos! The funny thing is, I’m using an ancient camera that I got for my 17th birthday. My brother (who does photography at more of a professional level) keeps telling me I should get a new one… but hey, it works for what I use it for!
The second photo is actually of a golf course that was built on an old quarry. If you go there, you can see some cement quarry ruins along the beach. It’s very wide open with unobstructed views of the puget sound – great for clear days. And yeah, that rainbow photo was taken on the same day as the first one. :)
Thanks for the kind words. Can’t say I have gotten over the over-apologizing, but I’m trying to change my attitude about it at least.
No problem! And yeah, I’d say it works just fine. c:
Whoa seriously? That’s so cool!! Your town is very beautiful.
Anytime, anytime! A change of attitude is a good start, probably the most important step.
I totally get the fidgeting thing so much. During my final presentation to get my Graphic Design degree (5 million years ago), this very important lady that was interviewing/grading me on my performance literally slammed her hand on the table and told me to “stop it”. I’ve been so self conscious about it of it ever since and it always crosses my mind when I’ve interviewed for a job as a result.
Oh, and your fotos always remind me of Neko Case (she’s from Tacoma and I LOVE her music). #random
That sounds like a rather unpleasant experience.
I’m guessing the fidgeting is another anxiety-related thing. Or the result of having so many thoughts running through my head at once that they MUST be translated into bodily movement.
I can definitely relate to the over-apologizing and fidgeting things. I work in an office, and I think I drive everyone around me crazy. I’m constantly getting up to go talk to other people about nothing (and then apologize for wasting their time), and I do all my work while turning my chair back and forth or tapping my pen or jiggling my leg. I do the same thing in all my meetings. I should probably work on that…or get a different job.
Also, your pictures are wonderful!
It’s physically impossible for me to sit in a swivel chair without actively swiveling it back and forth while sitting.
Oh my god my worst habit is that when people (read: anyone who is not my girlfriend) message me on Facebook I will refuse to check it for a LONG TIME because I don’t want it to show that I read the message if I can’t immediately respond. And then I will leave it for like DAYS. Even though the person who messaged me can clearly see that I’ve been on Facebook in the meantime. I do this ALL THE TIME and I always run myself into the ground with guilt over it. GUHHH
Also my only concrete New Year’s resolution is to buy my very first bottle of lube…? So…a good way to start off the New Year ;)
Oh, my, where do I start.
These are the easy ones:
I won’t brush my teeth before bed or in the morning when I very obviously need to be doing that. Ew.
I bite my nails and cuticles. It’s gotten better, but when I become stressed all bets are out the window.
I grind my teeth. Not sure if I can really help it much, but it’s a bad habit-type-thing?
I stress eat sugar. Ayyyeeeeee.
I cancel plans, or am super slow at getting back to people. I blame the introvert in me, but am trying to be more mindful about how this affects other peeps.
A little rougher:
I’ve struggled with self-medicating myself with drugs (prescription and not), and have been working really hard on being happy and sober. I’ve had my fair share of relapses, and that’s a habit I want worked out of my life. It’s going pretty strong right now, and I’m super optimistic about it. It has left me a little lonely and down on myself for a long while now though.
Bad habits include:
1:Procrastination
2:Knuckle cracking
3:Being generally messy – this is less a habit more a lifestyle choice. Like I can paint a whole room in my best clothes and stay clean but last week’s pizza boxes are still on the side and so are all my uni books/letters/paper work/plastic bottles for recycling. And I mostly look like I just got dragged through a hedge backwards. Oh and I’m an academic/artistic perfectionist which feels wildly at odds with all this.
4: Also I frequently make a cup of tea, forget I’ve made it, go to make one, find the first one, drink it cold and too strong and repeat.
Resolutions include: less procrastination…after I watch this cat video in my other tab…and make tea.
Obligatory cold strong tea drinking is a thing. I have been known to try watering down over-steeped cold tea with more hot water in a sad attempt to salvage it, which does not work all that well.
I keep reading that creative types, left-brainers, are more likely to have messy work and living areas because we feel confined by sterile spaces. So maybe you’re just really really in tune to your muse!
I love the idea of being really in tune with my muse and not just a grebby pack rat. I’m claiming it! There is no way to save stewed tea…no way.
I’m a nail/cuticle biter as well. I don’t plan to stop anytime soon though. What I do resolve to stop, however, is my bad habit of running away from my problems and pushing my loved ones away. I have a new girlfriend. This is the longest committed and monogamous relationship I’ve been in (coming up on 3 months! Wooo!), but I can feel myself getting scared and trying to sabotage it by refusing to talk when I’m upset or we have a disagreement. I don’t want to fuck this up because I really like her. So, I resolve to break my bad habit of isolating myself. Wish me luck!
I got a fabulous present on New Year’s! A queer gym in my city had an open call for broke queers that would benefit from their gym but do not have the resources to pay for a membership. My wife and I won and our first class was amazing!
I’ve never heard of a queer-specific gym; that’s pretty cool! What city is this?
THAT IS SO COOL!
Also, this is a badass picture. Work all the muscles!!!
Very cool!
This looks to be in Oakland? Is this queer women specific or can other identified queer people join?
Spent the NYE drinking wine in my pj’s,alone, introspecting on a wonderful year that was and getting a tad bit fuzzy then (*sun rises*)found myself awake in 2015! Procrastinating, overeating Chinese food and cracking my knuckles has to be the worst of my bad habits! and add ,not caring enough and acting all distant, some compulsive behavior and definitely sarcastic humor. okay, maybe some of these are not habits but they’re equally baaad and i want to rid of them all except sarcastic humour maybe i’ll just dial it down a little. and oh! Happy New Year you guys!
Chinese fooooood! I could eat it every day.
Just don’t lose your sarcastic sense of humor, ok?
Happy New Year!
Never been a nail biter.. I do pick my nose shamelessly. I should probably stop that.. I also smoke a bunch of ganja and eat raw cookie dough.. Trying to limit that, but I live in Humboldt so it might take a min.
Those all sound like fine hobbies to me. :)
I spent new year’s with my not-girlfriend, and she told me that she would be completely okay with dating me if she were attracted to me but she isn’t. The heck?!
I feel ya on the nail-biting thing. Also, saving things I don’t need now and deluding myself into thinking I might need them in the future, and the things end up just sitting around cluttering up my house. I need to learn to let go.
Happy 2015 everyone! Happy b-day Kaelyn! :)
Uh, was that a weird back-handed compliment? Ha. Ok, then. Thanks?
I was raised by a self-proclaimed “pack rat” and I also struggle with letting go of “stuff,” but I’m getting better. Frequent trips to Goodwill to donate old/used/unused-and-just-taking-up-space stuff helps and a partner who says things like, “Be honest. Are you really going to need that?” It’s a process!!!
Thanks for the b-day wishes and happy new year to you!
Well there’re, ya know, the drinking and sexing things. Those aren’t bad habits so much as coping skills which are destructive to my mental, physical and emotional health. Let’s go more general:
I leave the milk out all day. I still use it.
I will pour a bowl of cereal and add milk and not eat it, and then eat it when I get home. I do the same with coffee. I also leave food out and eat it the next morning cold.
I keep a brick of cheese in my backpack at all times. I don’t always eat it all before it goes bad. I don’t always remove it after it goes bad until a few days after I notice a funk.
Yogurt doesn’t go bad, it turns to cheese. Yogurt cheese, however, can go bad. You’ve gotta chill that shit.
I leave my dishes unwashed for a week at a time. This is an improvement on my past life of using every single dish in the house, including yogurt container lids, before looking at the Palmolive.
So really, a running theme here of disregard for sanitary food. And I have the stomach of an iron elephant. I also eat shit off the ground. Like, I spilled chocolate eggs in the entryway of Wal-Mart recently, and picked them all up and popped them in my mouth. My fellow nursing friend who was with me threw up in her mouth a little. Now that’s gross.
Oooo Walmart floor… You’re living your life dangerously ;)
Sounds like you know the joys of eating cereal out of a measuring cup with a plastic knife you wiped off on your pants that you’d been wearing for a week.
Sounds like my dad and food.
He can eat week old fried rice or old jambalaya with last week’s sausage.
Bacillus cereus? His stomach doesn’t stoop to acknowledging it’s existence.
Oh, also I spent New Years mainly at the Alkathon, where I met She Who I Shall Not Get Involved With and incidently have spent half my time with since. Yes, I know. Yes, really. Yes, I called my sponsor. No, I won’t do it. Yes, we talked about attraction. Yes, she drove me home. No, she didnt come inside. Yes, she probably will eventually. Right now I am gonna keep doing the next right thing. :)
And I can’t believe I didn’t say this – Happy New Year, friends! I rang in the new year with my sister, because of everyone I love, she knows it the least, and if I had to be with one person when the world ended, it would be her, so I want to be with her when a new one begins. Here’s to new chapters!
To new chapters! :)
Happy 2015!
Ugh, my New Years Eve was the worst. I’m still at my parents house for winter break in this tiny town I grew up in, and I’m at this awkward age where half my friends are being dragged to “family” new years eve parties still and half are driving to other cities (or live in other cities outright and are going home) to go get drunk with friends that they haven’t known since they were five. And my parents wanted to go out with their friends, so I spent New Years at my parents house, by myself. It was really depressing, until I got a migraine and then I was very glad the friends I had invited over actually couldn’t get away from their family NYE obligations because I wanted darkness and silence to prevent the migraine from getting worse.
I could go on forever about bad habits, but a good portion of that’s because my brain’s being a jerk and all depressed and reminding me in all the ways that I’m failing right now. I’ll just say that I am the worst at remembering to floss. Which isn’t great on it’s own, but my mom is my dentist. And she always (fairly) comments on how little I floss when I go in for hygiene appointments. The kicker is that I’m better at flossing than her, but I can no longer get away with sticking my tongue out and reminding her of this fact like I could when I was like 12.
I have zero in the realm of photoshop skills, so I’ll just not even try and instead show you the fruits of my like half-hour long attempts to get a decent picture with my cat Win with the solid one picture where you can see something that’s not the back of her head AND she doesn’t look royally pissed off.
Also, you can’t really see it but the sweatshirt I’m wearing has all these paddles on it and while I’m 90% sure it’s the type of thing you’re supposed to wear “ironically” I saw it at Target and got really, unironically excited about it and am entirely unironically thrilled it’s now part of my wardrobe (like, okay, it’d be better if it were kayak paddles instead of canoe paddles, but maybe this can be the impetus for me to convince my friend Stan to teach me to C1 this spring/summer because I’m so in awe of all whitewater canoeists, but especially open boaters).
Well that sounds like the pits, Hollis. I didn’t stay in touch with anyone from my HS, really. School breaks back home were always weird. I hope your migraine didn’t keep you up all night!
Happy 2015 to you and your adorable kitty!
Mine is trying to prove to all of you a “truth” intellectually whose validity can only be “known” emotionally!
That “truth” is, ….my being transfemale and lesbian.
I am going to stop doing that!
So to clarify, your resolution is to stop trying to validate your existence through others? That’s a really tough one, I’m working on it, too. We can do it!
And personally, I have no problem with the concept of transfemale lesbianism. Cisgendered bodies are overrated, and so is heteronormativity. Long live alternative lifestyles and the haircuts they so generously inspire!
Lolau, I meant that any lesbian would have to have a friendship and emotional connection with me to feel in their heart that I am female and a lesbian.
It is just the way one knows such things about a person. Of course, exchanging thoughts like here on AS helps to form the beginnings of friendship and emotional connection.
Cheers to that, Sarah! And congrats on the resolution you shared in the NYE Open Thread! I hope 2015 is full of wonderful things for you!
Thanks Kaelyn! As a female having been loved by another woman…..those girl-girl feels….in the heart and the body . I have felt its truth about me.
Thanks for making my first-ever Friday Open Thread fabulous, ya’ll!
I just wanna say, as we reflect on resolutions made or not made, on the excitement and trepidation of a new year ahead of us, that I am so grateful for the Straddleverse! Going from long-time-lurker to contributing editor to straddler-for-life was the best thing about my 2014, truly!
Thank you for sharing your “bad habits” with me and with each other. We are all perfectly imperfect humans and I’m so grateful that we can see each and welcome each other other exactly as we are. Stay bad!
P.S. Love to all my nail biters! Whether you don’t really care (which is how I felt about it for a long time and I think that’s totally valid–it’s not that bad, actually, IMO) or are planning to quit (I’m going for it in 2015! I want cool nail polish designs!), I’m glad to know I’m not the only one with nail nubs. :)
<333 We are all more than excited to have you as part of Autostraddle!