Hello, my pretty tiger lilies, but not the racist character in Peter Pan, like actual tiger lilies! Welcome to the Friday Open Thread, the alternate universe Glee Club where Jane Lynch is your white savior and nobody has to share their feelings and you never sing any songs by Journey and Big Freedia is your twerk teacher. I’m so glad you’re here!
I’ve been working on my LinkedIn profile. No, scratch that, someone requested to connect on LinkedIn and then I went to my LinkedIn page and became obsessed with updating my headline. That’s the real truth.
I’m one of those people that gets off on updating my resume. I’m not sure what that says about me… probably that I am succeeding in playing the long game on my quest for fem(me)ocracy world domination. This is just a thing I do. Whether I’m looking for a job or not at all. I like to obsess over font size and adverb selection and scannability. And now that we have LinkedIn, which is like an extended resume more than anything else, I can obsess about my profile. Here are the headlines I tried out on my LinkedIn profile today:
This ridiculous exercise got me thinking about all the hats I wear and all the skills I’ve picked up and how to summarize this in four words or less. What comes first? The nonprofit administration stuff? The community organizing stuff? The writer piece and, of that hat, the lapsed poet or the Autostraddle contributor? This may sound like torture to some of you, but I love overprocessing everything. That should be my headline. “I love overprocessing everything.” Hire me!
Anyway, it got me thinking that I have lots of skills, some of which pay the bills and some that pay in life satisfaction and some that just don’t pay that much at all. Like I’m pretty great at parallel parking.
This is not how you parallel park. Do not try at home.
I can’t put it on my resume, but that is a fact. I’m pretty damn good at parallel parking. I took my road test in a purple mini-van, so I kind of had to be.
I’m also pretty decent at taking photos of my cat that capture the very essence of his existential weirdness.
What is with today, today?
So that’s a marketable skill I have. New LinkedIn headline: “Expert Parallel Parker, Weird Cat Fancier.”
What about you fine folks? What are you really really good at? What are your many skills? The skills you’d actually put on a resume and the ones that you are just kind of boss at? Tell me, tell the world! What would your 4-6 word headline be? Are you updating your resume? Do you even have a resume? Are you like, “F*ck the man, f*ck resumes!”? WHAT IS YOUR DEAL, YOU MASTER MADAM MYSTERY OF THE UNIVERSE?! No pressure.
Also, do you have any pet pictures or life updates or funny gifs you’d like to share with the class? Now accepting all of the things. Get in here, darling dearest, and let’s obsess over life together!
How To Post A Photo In The Comments:
1. Find a photo! This is the easy part. Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL” and then…
2. Code it in to your comment! Use the following code, and use a DIRECT LINK to the image. Your image link should end in .JPG or .GIF or .PNG or .CallMeWhateverYouWant even. I don’t care, but it should be an image suffix! KINDA LIKE THIS:
If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur. To learn more about posting photos, check out Ali’s step-by-step guide.
How To Post A Video In The Comments, Too:
1. Find a video on YouTube or Vimeo or WHATEVER and click “embed.” Copy that code, but first make sure it’s for 640 px wide or less. If your player is too large, it will not display properly.
2. Copy the code and paste it directly into your comment.
3. Go forth and jam.
I’m one of those people who don’t really know what they’re good at, unless we’re talking negatives. I’m great at having breakdowns! That will not get me hired by anyone. I’m great at rambling about lithography! Who even cares. I’m great at oversleeping! Well, maybe I can test mattresses…
I’m v excited to be a tiger lily. Eee.
What’s lithography?
Hehehehehe
Litho is a type of printmaking where you use blocks of limestone as your base. You have to use different levels of grit and something called a levigator to first grind the block of stone into being smooth and level. If it’s not level, it can break when you run it through the press.
So then you typically use grease crayons to draw onto the stone, then do at least two etches with different strengths of acid, which eats into the stone where the crayon is. So that when you roll ink onto your matrix, the etched parts catch the ink. Then you can put paper on top of the matrix, put a timpin down on top, and put this weird squishy greasy stuff on it, which will help it move through the press. And the timpin is just a sheet of thick plastic of some kind.
And when you run the stone through the press, you have to mark where you put the pressure and where you take it off of the stone. If you don’t, your stone could go shooting off the press and hurt someone. And you get to adjust all the variables, like how much ink, how wet the stone is (bc water’s involved), how much pressure you give it, to try and get good prints.
It’s such a process, but when I took the class, I eventually got the hang of it. Grinding the stone after running each print edition is tedious, and once I had to do three etches because my image wasn’t showing up, and I had to ink all my prints in an apparently dangerous way that could’ve destroyed the image, but overall it was a fairly satisfying class. Though it ate up a ton of my time, and I was also taking a film photo class at the time, so I had to divide time between the print shop and the darkroom. I skipped classes for my litho class, so I could get things done.
Intaglio is another story; I never got the hang of it and it drove me to tears. Evil, evil thing.
THIS IS SO COOL
Hehehe! I’m glad you think so c:
Tiger lilies are my favorite flower! Ergo, you are my favorite flower!
Um, I think having a high level of empathy and emotional response could be a skill. Let me write you a resume. I’ll spin that shit!
And please do ramble about lithography. I’m into it.
Heee,yay! :D that is happy making.
Please do, I’m hopeless at trying to market myself. Though I don’t know how I could market being a sad person haha. Please hire me or I will cry a river that floods your house?? Or I could hire myself out as a sprinkler system.
Oh, litho. I actually really kinda miss it. I don’t miss the late nights and blisters, but Im missing the process and the camaraderie of the print room. That feeling you get when someone doesn’t scrape the ink out correctly…. that feeling when you’re so tired and sucking down coffee and giggling to yourself because you just want the edition printed…
Man. I miss shared art -making spaces.
I sometimes make a list of all the types of public transportation that I’ve cried all over. I’m just missing boats and trains I think (which is more a reflection of my geographic area than my ability to control my feels). I choose to see this as an accomplishment because I’m still here on the other side? there’s definitely a spin for it somewhere…
I feel you. Shared art-making spaces are the best.
Hey, I’m great at having breakdowns too! :D But us high-anxiety people can still survive and even contribute something worthwhile to society. I’m pretty sure you’re good at more than you give yourself credit for. And that lithography stuff sounds really cool!
Here is a thing I am NOT good at: finishing a certain research paper about the prison industrial complex/global capitalism/racism/foreign policy/immigration detainment/racist suprastructures within the legal system/sovereignty/prison labour/third world exploitation/etc. See also: very good at making things too complicated.
I am also gifted in the fields of sending my girlfriend increasingly more terrifying tidbits about private incarceration so that I don’t suffer alone and assembling ikea furniture without the instructions.
Woah I hope that is a thesis paper because that is A LOT to fit into a set number of pages. But I’d read it!
Private incarceration is terrifying. Your GF is right to be afraid.
Also, assembling Ikea furniture is a real marketable skill. People pay other people to do that. I’m serious.
It’s only supposed to be a 1500 word paper!!?!?!?? It’s like I picked the topic, blacked out, and came to literally buried in research and spouting prison facts. The prof gave me an extension because I showed up in his office the day it was due and brandished my half-finished behemoth with crazy eyes. This is out of control send help.
Do you have any other information regarding this paper? Like a name, date, where it was published, possible title? Finding things on the Internet is a superpower of mine.
I can list my sources if you’re interested! Some of them are on limited access academic servers, but I have a smattering of publicly hosted sources as well. Shoot me a message and I can round up some links and titles :)
What a paper that will be! I want to read it.
I am really good at roasting a chicken! I am good at getting 7 hours of sleep a night! I am good at framing most things as strengths! (Bc social work) I am pretty good at boundaries! I read a lot and I really like it that’s like being good at a thing! I’m good at simplifying complex things at work! I’m good at knowing when I need to eat/drink some water/ go cry somewhere/ talk to my girlfriend about what I need and tell her in words that are mostly concrete and n
Fuck my phone. Anyway! Tell my girlfriend what I need in ways that are not like, accusatory. I can change a tire like a boss on a car and change the brakes on my bike and fix flat tires, I used to Hi dear! Good memory! I could be decent by like 10 tomorrow, what are you in the mood for? I used to get flat tires like once a week. Annnnnd what else. I got better at saving money this year! I have a pretty good memory but I’m good at writing things down bc I know my brain can’t remember everything. And I am a solid knitter, and I can knit tiny adorable stuffed animals, I made a hedgehog one time. I’ll find a picture later!
And then my phone added a text I sent my friend. So anyway, autostraddle. Hi dear. What are you in the mood for? Tell me about it. I am not good at typing on my phone. But. I have other qualities.
Ha, I saw that and read it like it was part of the comment. I guess I’m pretty good at pretending awkward things never happened.
Ha but it did!
Your battles with your insubordinate phone made me laugh harder than they probably should have. I apologize.
I’m so sorry, but I’m at work trying so hard not to laugh because I’m picturing your phone just cheerily inserting that text in the middle of everything and it’s not working, I’m laughing out loud.
Ha! Well good.
You are seriously winning at life. Keep it up, champ!
And I hope you are decent by 10 tomorrow because it sounds like you have big plans. I know you can do it.
I’ve discovered that I’m pretty good at helping teenagers work through difficult emotions and behaviors! I work with teens that have Borderline Personality Disorder traits (difficulty regulating emotions, thoughts of self-harm and suicide, difficulties in interpersonal relationships) who have also experienced trauma. When I talk to the kids I work with, I have a running commentary in my head saying, “this isn’t working, they’re not going to take anything from this, I don’t think I’m saying the right things, etc” while I’m “coaching” them. When I hear them tell me that I’ve helped them, it’s the best feeling in the world.
I’m also really good at finding things on the Internet and organizing coordinating outfits for my femme self and tomboy-ish girlfriend. These skills will definitely come in handy for looking stylish with my girlfriend at Coachella in a couple weeks!
Aww, I imagine that feels really great, when someone tells you that you helped them. :)
Good luck with your Coachella outfits!
I’m good at tutoring. At least, I’m good at tutoring college students, when I’m teaching math or engineering.
I’ve got a fantastic memory for little details. I am a details person. I’m good at burying into piles and piles of data and nitty-gritty factoids and finding what I need. The problem is remembering what I need… aka remembering the big picture. I’m not good at that.
Hmm… I make really good fried egg sandwiches. And really good hot chocolate (not hot cocoa, though I make good hot cocoa too).
I’m good at telling stories, though I’m terrible at lying. I’m a good writer.
I’m good at organizing spaces.
I’m really, really good at hip-checking people when doing roller derby drills. And I’m really good at shrugging off hits. I am extraordinarily proud of this. But roller derby, and HITTING PEOPLE, is so much fun. I am slightly not-proud of how much I enjoy knocking people to the floor.
This comment inspired me to go make a fried-egg sandwich, and it was delicious. So thank you.
My work here is done.
I’m awful at nitty gritty, great at big picture. We would make a kick-ass consulting team.
I just recently returned to eggs in my life and it took me a good month to figure out how to make a decent fried egg. You’re doing life right!
I always see roller derby and think “that would be awesome to do!”
But I think for me I mainly like the costume and pageantry. I don’t think I’m that tough!
It sounds like a good fit for you!
I’m REALLY good at convincing taxi drivers to let more than the legal amount of people ride in the taxi if ‘one of us ducks down’. If we ever need this to happen after a night out my friends instantly get me to ask. It’s not that useful at other times of day.
Have you tried it at other times of day? How do you know this for sure?
There are areas where taxis care about that???
It’s probably just because I go to a college in a large town/”city”, so there’s not a ton of cops and taxi drivers DO NOT GIVE A FUCK. If you call a cab for 4-6 (sometimes 7) people, you get a car that can legally fit 4. I’ve fit 8 or 9 (I think–there were at least 6 of us in the back and at least 2 up front?) in one of those 4 person max cars before coming back from a house party.
I am good at folding fitted sheets.
LIFE ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
How the fuck do you do this it always ends in years for me and I wad mine up in shame and shove them under the flat sheets to trick my girlfriend
I’ve watched every Martha Stewart video and pinterest tutorial on the whole thing, and just last week I managed to make them into a slightly less crumpled ball that I shoved into the linen closet.
Fitted sheet + me:
I don’t know how I do it, I just seem to have a knack for folding laundry in general. My… (former partner / currently still cohabitating person that I am close with but no longer dating… I need a word for this, help) hangs her cotton t-shirts on hangers (I know right?) because the way she folds them makes them go all wrinkly. Whereas I can take t-shirts that have been lying in a wrinkled ball in the dryer for two days, and fold them in such a way that when I later take them out of the drawer they are no longer wrinkled. I am led to believe that this is some kind of superpower.
Roommates? Rent pals? Gal pals not in the media sense of the word?
I’d be jealous, but this just goes right over my head cause I can’t even fold sheets of the non-fitted variety well. Or towels or clothes or paper or anything really. You’re like a star formation in a galaxy far far away.
I have two questions for this weeks open thread humans!
1) Where did I leave my phone charger?
2) How do I mash together Cuban beach wedding style with the more formal dapper polish? I have a sweet tiffany-blue guayabera shirt and I want to get a fedora, but not so sure about pants + shoes, esp because my budget is small, so I want something more like khakis rather than linen drawstring pants that aren’t something I would wear on other occasions.
Is there a Pinterest for queer MOC machismo dapper wedding or something that you could link below? Or any related links+advice would be awesome.
Thank you! Ilu have a great weekenddddd. <3 :^D
Khakis are a nice choice. Go for something lighter in color or if youre up to it white pants. Tiffany blue sounds like a really pretty color. Not so sure about shoes though….
I’m sure tree is such a Pinterest board! Otherwise shoes: are boat shoes off the mark? Otherwise, I wonder if you can get a light colored men’s loafer? I am envisioning something shiny, though you may not be into that. Also, I think linen pants are so great, and would advocate for those in a tan shade over khaki. I’m fairly convinced khakis ruin everything, though.
I thought about boat shoes or canvas shoes, which are also good because I would get some use out of them after the wedding too. I do have some brown leather men’s dress shoes, which could be a good way to be more formal and dapper, since typical formal accessories like bow ties + vest don’t work with a guayabera, at least not that I can picture. I guess fancy shoes and fancy hat would read pretty formal without a tie, for example.
The pants are gonna be tricky. Is there some kind of linen/cotton hybrid fabric that they make tailored trousers out of? I DON’T KNOW.
I hear you on not wanting the drawstring linen pant look. I think a white cotton or cotton-linen blend that’s more tailored would look great with a blue guayabara.
This seems like a site built just to drive Amazon affiliate traffic – but the looks they’ve put together are pretty good! I like the pants in the “Casual But Smart” section – and they’re a blend.
http://www.beachwedding-guide.com/beach_wedding_attire_for_men.html
Did you check out tommy bahama and LL bean? The pants they have are pretty nice.
I dunno about your phone charger. Have you looked in the fridge? Sometimes I leave things like wallets and phones in my fridge.
This sounds like it’s gonna be a really pretty wedding! I dunno much about dapper fashion, but I have seen some bois and butch women pull off the white pants look. Also, depending on how formal you want to go, I’ve also seen dress khaki or linen shorts with a light jacket and it looks pretty great. Like…uh… (rummaging around in the internet) …like this guy:
I vote white/light dressy pants and brown oxfords with that shirt.
Seersucker!
A full 3 piece suit might be a bit much but a jacket or vest with or with out a tie would dapper things right up.
With khakis or just the guayabera shirt and seersucker pants, seersucker top and bottom seems over much to me regardless of a person’s price range.
Shoes I vote boat shoes.
You knowwww the shorts thing doesnt sound bad. For your shoes…im still not sure. But if you find some laces that are just about the same color of your guayabera then you could use those. Is your guayabera short or long sleeves? A bracelet could tie things up nicely. Or if your fedora has a linen/khaki colored band around it?
These are all awesome ideas; thank you all so much! I feel a lot better prepared to shop for this wedding now.
Hey everyone! So how is all the people in the universe?? Are you all plowing through Friday like the tiger lilies that you are!!! #power
There are a couple of things I think I’m pretty good at that don’t necessarily have to do with my job. I can detail my car (which is black) well enough to make swirls go away. Wash, clay, polish, wax and sealant. I do that every 4-6 months. Isn’t it great? Getting to smell like all sorts of wax for like 3 days! =p I’ve been lifting heavier weights at the gym, which is good especially when you think about where you started. Little car mods like wrapping vinyl around the grille surround/trim etc. Maybe I should do computer parts next? LOL. Also my Metal Earth things. Speaking of which…
It’s an Apache =)
Uh…IDK how to parallel park..? How did they issue me a driver’s license? LOL. Cooking is an area I want to improve in also. Although it got a liiiiiittle better this year i.e did not burn down house.
The cats are well. I was doing facetime with Jessy earlier this week. My wife said I talked to the cat for a whole minute before actually saying hi to her. HAHA.
It looks like Jessy is looking at me when in reality there were birds outside the window. Jessy ended our face time shortly after those birds appeared.
Jessy and Andy cudddling.
This is when my wife’s mom brought out Andy and she started climbing the tree. You guys. I LOVE THE TREE said Andy.
I also never learned how to parallel park. It’s a hard life.
YOUR CATS. So squee. Especially the one where they are snuggling.
Also your Metal Earth stuff always blows my mind. I am kind of awful at car care, so I am very impressed that you take such good of your ride. I would love to learn how to change my own oil. I learned in driver’s ed, but I was 17 and I didn’t really care or pay attention. I feel like knowing car stuff would really up my game.
I want to learn how to change my own oil too and change the tire! I think it would be helpful
I feel like @shmerdyberdy would be able to teach us how to change a tire.
Definitely would! I can change oil too, though I haven’t in awhile. I had to help my dad with car stuff when I was a kid and I thought it was the most boring at the time, but yeah. I like learning how to do shit with power tools and I might take a how-to-shoot-a-gun class, because dorky urban social workers (me) clearly need wilderness skills.
I’m good at photoshop/weird art/collaging. Also poaching eggs, falling asleep, and movie/tv trivia. I’m a magician at finding things in our house. OH! and recently an eight year old described me as “the best swing-pusher I’ve ever had.” SOOOO with all that PLUS my art degree, you can imagine I’m preeeeety hirable.
NOOOOOOOOOO I didn’t mean to post this here! I was thinking about saying something about changing your own oil and I’m so sorry.
ANYWAY changing the oil/filter is super easy, but I can’t understand how it’s worth it? Because the oil itself costs as much as an oil change and then you have to dispose of it? Maybe someone who knows more about cars can correct me on this? I was SO PLEASED with myself when I learned how, but I haven’t figured out how to make it worth it/ useful
Hahahahaha. Been there!
Also, I love your skills! “The best swing-pusher I’ve ever had.” You should put that testimonial quote on your website. SOLID review.
If you have a backup camera, it really makes parallel parking(and backing up) way easier. Our Infinti FX35 came with it standard(with front and side cameras optional, yet my dads MB GLK suv it was a price option and only rear camera is offered), and it’s even usable at night. I think this should be standard on all cars, seriously.
Your cats are brilliant. Especially love Andy in the tree!
I wish I could reach to fully detail my van! How easy is the clay to use? I keep looking at it and then freaking out. A billion years ago I used to do everything on my car, changed the clutch, oil and filters, replaced the wiper motor +++ but now the vehicle I have is too big and awkward to attempt that stuff and as Allison says what do you do with that used sump oil?!?! Easier to take it to a pro, and no more expensive (at least that’s the case here). I wish I could do everything myself though, makes you feel closer to the mysteries of mechanics. Adorable kitties :)
Theres a new thing I found its called Nanoskin. Basically replaces your clay and clay lube. Heh heh. Lube. Okay focus. So it has a microfiber side and a rubber like side. Wash the car like you would normally do then rinse then use the same car wash soap w.e but this time use the rubbery side. Youll hear the contaminants with a kind of a scratchy sound. Just keep going back and forth slowly til the scratching goes away. Rinse and dry.
Thanks for the tip :)
I think the hardest part is polishing if you have heavy oxidation/heavy paint damage on the vehicle..if oxidation is light..like small amount of swirls that are somewhat thin etc polishing is a little bit better. Detailing can be a little time consuming and you have to do all applications out of sunlight. So youd have to work in the afternoon most likely into the night or early morning.
Aw, your cuddling cats are the sweetest!
At my best, I’m good at bridging worlds — physics and theology, software users and developers.
I’m also pretty good at telling funny little stories about myself or things that have happened to me. At any one time, though, I only have about 6 at hand, so I can get a little repetitive if you spend a lot of time with me. Unless you stick around long enough to make new stories, I guess.
Physics and theology? I want to know more about that!
Tell us a story, please!
So, academic career #1 was physics. Towards the end of my time in grad school, my heart really wasn’t in it, and I just couldn’t see myself spending the next 40 years doing it. Meanwhile, I’d gotten turned on to theology and seriously considered becoming a pastor, to the point that I moved to a different part of the country and started an M.Div. program – academic career #2. By that time, though, my inner gender-identity conflict was starting to come out in some fairly ugly ways. Around that time was when I first consciously considered that I might be trans. But I got scared and ran away from it, got married, got a kid, got divorced, got (very gently) asked to step off the path-to-pastorhood, and lucked into a career in software development. 18 years later, I’m finally accepting who I am and becoming who I’m supposed to be.
That’s a story, maybe not “funny” and “little” but I like to tell it anyway! I’m pretty happy with the more recent chapters.
It’s your story and it’s a good one. Stories without conflict and tension in the middle aren’t very good stories. I’m glad the more recent chapter are bringing you joy!
Joy, yes, along with “physically healthier than I’ve been in years” and “more comfortable in my own skin than … ever.”
I admire the brain that bridges seemingly disparate worlds. Physics and theology are both fascinating disciplines. One of the hardest parts of college for me was choosing a single field to go into – this world has so much cool stuff and I just want to learn about all of it!
“Robyn – hair enthusiast and avid Canadian tuxedo wearer. Also skilled in disproving Freudian theories.”
Employers, like what’cha see? (;
I’d hire you. Unless you are hysterical. Are you one of those hysterical women?
May I preface this by mentioning how I had to navigate a headline featuring a g**d***** spider, just to make it to the safe haven of this thread?
Since I’m on my ipad I’m now suppressing the urge to go and wash my hands.
This quest has made me realize, that maybe I’m more of a Gryffindor than a Ravenclaw after all.
And that’s what I would put on my resume:
amidola, M.D.
House of Gryffindor.
And of course my O.W.L and N.E.W.T scores, and a letter of recommendation by Professor McGonagall.
What was your office Pottermore quiz result? The sorting hat knows…
A Gryffindor doctor sounds like a good person to have on your team. I suggest you update your resume immediately.
I don’t, my computer keeps crashing every time I take it.
Sometimes, a tinny voice whispers an “It’s your choice.” while I stare at the blue screen…
But speaking of resumes, I am, actually, revising my old one for job applications and whenever I ask someone, I get a different opinion:
Does one still list their extracurriculars on a CV?
I’d love to put Quidditch to show how compatible I am for teamwork, but am afraid that listing my position (Chaser) might make me seem overly ambitious and not focused enough on my studies.
And then languages, I feel that putting Parsel Tongue always seems to put people off, somewhat, even though it’s a hard acquired language.
(Interestingly enough, I *am* studying Arabic for fun in real life, but I might as well substitute that for Parsel Tongue.)
It depends on the job, the company, and how much room you have on your resume. If the company culture is uptight and majorly corporate, I wouldn’t put those very awesome things on your resume. If it is a more laid back workplace where people would probably appreciate the humor of including some more intimate details about you, go for it.
On an actual C.V., like that you would apply to academic programs and jobs with, I don’t think most people include extracurricular activities. BUT if you think it is fitting for the program/job or if you had a leadership role, you might find a way to squeeze it in. I have a section on my C.V. for volunteer work, where I list volunteer leadership roles I’ve taken on. If you’re just out of college, though, you might not have a lot of other stuff to put on your C.V. and, especially if you are in the social sciences where things are a bit more liberal, adding a little personality on a grad school C.V. might be a good thing. No one right answer!
Today I learned that I am excellent at falling down the stairs while carrying a large tray of assorted cheeses. The more you know!
also also omg i just remembered like 3 and a half years ago I was at Australia zoo and there was a person wandering around the gift shop wearing an autostraddle t shirt (the one that said straddle this on the back i think?) and i went up to her and said something like OMG AUTOSTRADDLE and she looked slightly terrified and said no one had ever recognized her shirt before. so anyway I was too afraid to comment back then so I could never connect with whoever it was and apologize for being such a creepazoid. buuuut I just randomly remembered that moment so on the off-chance that you are that human and you are reading this…Hi! It’s me! It was nice to meet you and I’m sorry for being such a weirdo!
(ps oh goodness, if you are that person i am very sorry if you don’t use she/her pronouns! i didn’t even think about that and that is totally on me and my stupidity. I’m still in the process of unlearning all the bullshit that we are taught and i’m very sorry. i will do better next time. okay carry on!)
Oh no I don’t think that sounds creepy! Though I have been that person many times who is like SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU and people are like “…………oh god.” Lately, In those types of situations I am usually like “hi!!!! I like your shirt!!!!!” And then see if people are willing to talk to me. But you sound charming and not like a creepy weirdo.
See that was the only time I have ever had an encounter like that! I wear my you-do-you shirt probably a bit more than is socially acceptable and I am constantly and deliberately reading AS in public places and no one has ever approached me or even given me a knowing nod. Should I walk around with a big ‘I’M QUEER AND SO CAN YOU’ sign around my neck?
I don’t think you sounds creepy at all, either, unless you said it all creepy, like, “Hello, my pretty. I see you are wearing an Autostraddle shirt. It really looks great on your body.” That would be creepy. But probably you just caught them offguard. I’d be so excited if someone recognized my Autostraddle shirt!
i really hope that AS-shirt wearing person sees your post here and replies.
Me too! I will not feel complete until they do. I mean I’ll probably never feel complete because I am a walking ball of anxiety, but this would be a start!
For actual usable skills I am good at using a computer, understanding how the parts work, and doing some trouble shooting. I am also pretty good at searching google, and the like. Skills that aren’t really usable in the work place, locating interesting graffiti, eating(I don’t think eating a pound of cheese sober is useful anywhere, but it was really good English cheese), & being paranoid about weather people liking me if that counts.
A few weeks ago I made post on the Friday open thread that I chased a thief down the street shouting, “this angry queer will take you down(or was it get you, I’m blanking out atm).” Well the thief since then as stuck our store(and a few other stores in the area), by doing his regular craw into the store and grab stuff and crawl out. Well this week I caught him, almost. I notice he was on the floor again grabbing stuff again and he jumps up real quick and I grab his bag. He starts complaining to me that he needs his bag because that’s where he keeps his toothpaste. I told him I need my merchandise, but he seemed to forget that he took other stuff too, cause he kept mentioning the current stuff he dropped on the ground. He also harping about the toothpaste in his bag. Then finally he spat in my face, and my dad threw his bag into the street. The guy runs and grabs his bag, and runs with his tail between his legs laughing. It was too late to call 911.
Also, it’s been few days of record-breaking heat and all I wish I could do is sit down by the beach in a sports bra and bathing shorts. Thankfully, though I have plaid short sleeve shirts.
No nature shots this week, as I have been enjoying the media center pc I made and like most Americans have been glued to Netflix. I saw GirlTrash All Night Long and it was solid, a lot of the interesting characters from the L Word, like the adorable Rose Rollins, and Kate French. I am also starting season 2 of Portlandia, because Carrier Brownstein is just amazing, plus she sings in the show and that makes my queer heart melt. Plus, Fred is great in his own right. Eepp I can’t wait to see Sleater Kinney live next month!
This alley is always artful, but why is there a sail boat on the balcony like this? I’d be concerned about it falling?
I saw this on my walk to the bank, it looked better in my mind.
Thank you for reading & viewing my post.
Woops image was posted wrong, can you fix that for me AS. This should have ben the fist image. Thank you!
I was playing “Where’s Waldo” with the first post. This makes more sense. Beautiful urban landscapes. I’m very concerned about that boat. How did they even wedge it up there?
I had the same thought. Thank you.
btw if you or anyone else, can you put the boat picture in the correct spot please?
And I feel bad for putting my bike on the balcony..
The picture with the shadow play is really good! The composition of baby blues reminds me of Trenton Parke! Well shot!
Thank you. I don’t think you need to worry about a bike on the balcony as many do that. Unless, you are in an area with lots of earthquakes or strong winds and your bike isn’t secured?
Oh no, none of that, I live in Germany.
I love my bike and feel bad about the rain and the rust.
When I got my first decent bike, I lovingly stared at it for hours, the day I bought it.
It “slept” in the hallway of my old apartment because I was too scared it might get stolen on the street, because it was so pretty.
Two years later, it did get stolen (despite a 5 pound, massive steel motorcycle lock).
Right after I put new tires on it, too.
Now, my new bike is actually a better fit,and I do love it,too.
But sometimes, I know I’m not treating it right.
The rain and the rust and the cold isn’t good for the gears, but you know, I’m just not ready to let a new bike back inside.
Maybe one day, I’ll have wall mount in the living room.
Until then, there’s WD 40.
Maybe put a plastic cover over it when it rains? Or do a fun project with some plastic bags and make a queer bike umbrella for it?
Beautifully shot! A real treat. :)
Thank you!
I love both the pictures you posted. A LOT.
Glad you, enjoyed it. And thank you for autostraddle for adjusting the image.
I’m good at hitting targets with my nerf gun! BEWARE PEASANTS (Pretty Tiger Lilies)!
Ooh! I bet you are fun/dangerous to play laser tag with.
Yes! Except am I the only one who lives in a place where you aren’t allowed to run, crawl, or kneel in the laser tag arena! I mean what is that?? How are you supposed to dodge the little beams of light if you can’t exercise your inner ninja??
A friend just had this convo on her FB wall!
I am really good at organizing peoples’ libraries and coming up with simple cataloging systems. I am passably good at doing the same with their files.
I am friggin fantastic at saying all the things other people want to say, but have morals and scruples holding them back.
This week in lieu of the fun and much-anticipated but problematic book I read, I would like to recommend a couple of collections for genre-fiction lovers who tire of the same old tropes in steampunk lit.
Steam-Powered and Steam-Powered II do precisely what they say on the clockwork tin: worldy steampunk with lesbians in, in worlds beyond Victorian England. Exciting and adventurous and entertaining.
I wish I liked steampunk it looks like so much fun it just reminds me of kids speaking in nasally faux British accents in high school anyway hi rie not to yuck your yum you have lots of good suggestions for things and give good advice about what I should make for dinner and telling me cheeky stories about your life. It’s very amusing. Maybe someday I will invent an amusebouche in your honor.
I had literally never read anything steampunk before, but I recently read Karen Memory and loved it to pieces.
But looking at those anthologies, I see N.K. Jemisin as one of the authors and now I’m super interested.
Karen Memory ++! Loved that book. These two steampunk collections look delicious. Will read!
We all need at least one friend who just speaks the truth, you know? Thanks for being that person.
I do really kickass astrological chart interpretations. Just sayin’
Coooool! I have always wanted an astrological chart, but I’m adopted and don’t have a birth history, so I don’t know my precise time of birth of even if my day of birth is exactly right. :/ One of my ex’s mom was into astrology and she had this great book on astrological charts. I’m a cap, but I like to pretend I’m an aquarius rising. I have no idea, tho!
That’s what’s great about not knowing – you can choose freely ;)
I’m /really/ bad at parallel parking, personally. I make a boss mac cheese, though, so that has to count for something.
Wait, can you edit comments? I can’t find the button anyway, but I want to say that I looked fine as HELL today. I dyed my hair bright purple yesterday (I may be in the midst of an identity crisis) and I wore a homemade skirt and doc martens and a leather jacket and it was awesome.
My new hair clashes with everything and I love it
Pictures of your new look, please! I love purple hair!!! It was my fav when I used to dye my hair.
Making good mac and cheese is really a marketable quality. Do you make it from scratch or from the box?
It’s sort of pink or purple or red depending on the light and it is definitely patchy in places but my friend said it looks a bit intentionally. Minimal bathrooms staining, too!
I have never made mac and cheese from a box, I’m not even sure if you can buy it in a box in the UK. It’s ridiculously simple, to be fair, it’s just pasta, milk, mozzarella and herbs because I have very basic tastes, but it’s my ultimate comfort food.
Ugh. That color is everything. It looks great on you!
They don’t sell gross/delicious boxed mac and cheese in the UK? I had no idea…
Normally it takes me a few days to get used to a hair colour and start liking it but this one it was about… ten minutes. I want this hair FOREVER. It clashes with everything I own and I could not be more delighted.
I just googled it and apparently they do but it looks like the kind of food they do as gimmicks because it’s really famous overseas rather than because people… actually like it.
Your hair is obviously awesome, but also those docs are AMAZING!
Affirmation week! Love this one!
Non-resume things I am good at (with mixed reactions from friends and loved ones):
1. Being a super morning person.
2. Being righteously indignant on behalf someone. #teamloyalty
3. Planning overly ambitious fitness adventures (A.k.a. How the freezing cold rainy half-marathon happened) And roping other people into them.
4. Scheduling my life so full that my girlfriend laughed at me last week when I told her May was filling up and we should schedule some date nights on the calendar.
5. Finding great parking spots.
These are all fantastic!
I’d go on an overly ambitious fitness adventure with you, but I’d probably die, because I’m not very fit, but I’d go because you make it sound so fun!
Yay! You would be fine! My favorite thing ever is roping in new people who don’t think they like fitness because i started these adventures when I was extremely out of shape and super heavy and thought I couldn’t do it so I am a intense believer in being outside and having fun with everyone. Weird fitness-y adventures my group of friends have created include:
1. Run to Brunch
2. Roomine runs (where our whole apartment goes on adorable morning runs together to find new neighborhoods near us)
3. The accidentally mostly-queer hiking & snack group.
Sign me up for snacks and hikes. I like both of those!
I am jealous of #1. My job requires that I get up at 4:30. I don’t think it’ll ever feel natural. I’m with you on the freezing cold rain adventures though.
I am really good at making sunny side up eggs and I am certified to teach archery lessons to children.
Both excellent qualities in a human being. Can you teach archery to adults, because I’d love to learn! I am pretty good at archery on the Wii, but I don’t think that translates to aptitude IRL.
I can teach adults! I just don’t get the opportunity to do so very often. Usually it’s rowdy groups of Girl Scouts
I love the idea of rowdy Girl Scouts with bows and arrows. I hope they all grow up to be Katniss Everdeen.
I love this so much. I know a Muslim acitivist near me who runs a Girl Scout troop and got herself and her co-leader certified to teach archery. She is one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. All girls scouts should learn archery along with their general bad-assery. You are creating an awesome future!
I feel like this could be an excellent A-Camp activity!
If I ever have the money to go to a-camp, I will offer my services haha
I am superlatively fabulous at the art of over-excitement!!!!
I have also reminded myself that I can make clothes – I even used to make ones that people wore on stage/screen. Therefore I am reconnecting with my excitement about fabric and starting to make clothes again. For myself to start, as I will be uncritical of something that is being worn by only myself.
My first item is a flared skirt in Thai silk fuchsia/gold, alternating with a shot fabric in fuchsia/blue. I will post a photo once I’m done!
Next I have a beautiful Indonesian batik to make into a shirt for my lovely wife. I’ve made a pattern for the main body, done a toile which fits well, but got nervous/stuck on the sleeves as I haven’t made a sleeve pattern in forever. The skirt is me boosting my confidence and then I’m just going to go for it!
I love love love this idea KaeLyn! It’s so interesting reading/seeing all the wonders that everyone creates ( and yes it is ALL creative, including the parking).
Definitely post pictures! I love that you make clothes! I have always been impressed with people who have sewing skills and design skills. My mom really wanted me to be good at such things, but it’s just not in the cards. That detail work takes such patience and I just want to do everything FAST FAST FAST.
Do you have pics of any other clothes or costumes you’ve made?
I made the wedding dress for a friend <3
So what you do is: 1. Take measurements. 2. Take a tailor's dummy smaller than the person. 3.Pad up dummy with foam to measurements (Like making a funny foam sculpture of the person's torso – really fun!). 4. Take calico (cheap cotton) and put it as a tube (or half tube from centre back to centre front) around tailor's dummy. 5. pin where you want the seams to go. 6. Try on person. 7. Adjust seams lots. 8. Cut out n correct pieces. 9. Use as pattern for real fabric. 10. Baste (loose sewing) together. 11. Try on person again. 12. Alter if necessary (with quiet teeth gnashing). 13. Sew together for real 14. Curl in corner with cup of tea.
Voila!
Just a helpful note- I did not magically know this. It involved two years full time training. If you can sew a button on, you're doing great!
That is gorgeous! I love the cut and draping of the bodice. You have a lucky friend!
I’m really jealous of your clothing making super power! I can’t sew at all, have zero eye for form.
Sometimes, I imagine myself with mad sewing skills, then I picture all the fantastabulous Cosplay costumes I could parade to a Comic Con.
That’s a wonderful skill to have. I admire people who can quilt/sew skillfully, especially when they use their talents to brighten others’ lives. One of my favorite possessions is a quilt my mother gave me at graduation – each block is unique, and there are lots of batik fabrics. Batiks are so beautiful. I’m sure that shirt you’re making will turn out wonderful and your wife will love it!
Living in Capitol hill in Seattle made me a master parallel Parker. You literally cannot go a day in Seattle without tight parallel parking, often on a hill. (Also, Seattle appears to be the smart car capital of the U.S. to me.) I have since moved to Tacoma, which has much better parking availability, but I still parallelI park daily at my apartment.
I actually didn’t learn to drive until I was 22, in Carmel Indiana, with zero hills and lots of roundabouts (according to Wikipedia, it’s the roundabout capital of North America.) But despite my late start, I’m an expert at a number of driving skills: parallelI parking, roundabouts, and steep hills. Just no snow, please.
Other skills:
I can juggle the diabolo.
I know the periodic table by song.
I have synesthesia (not really a skill, just kind of an odd trait.)
I can cut my own hair.
Your skills are phenomenal – I would be delighted to attend any cabaret act you would care to create.
How does the periodic table song go?
Is it this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUDDiWtFtEM
Actually, it’s this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGM-wSKFBpo
But I love your version too!
my old roommate was synesthetic! ‘s neat. she mostly strongly correlated numbers with personality qualities. monique truong has a neat book with a main character with synesthesia.
That’s really cool. For me, numbers, letters, and days of the week are correlated with specific colors. Speaking of books, I really enjoyed reading “Wednesday is Indigo Blue” by David Eagleman and Richard Cytowic. Thanks for the recommendation – I’ll check it out.
Hill city parallel parking solidarity! Glasgow made me excellent at it.
I’m just lucky I didn’t have to survive it with a stick shift. I admire all who drive stick in Seattle.
My two superpowers are:
1. Finding things on the Internet. Leave me in a Google research hole and I’ll come back happy and with 932482394 resources.
2. Fairy Godmothering by connecting people to the right networks and resources. I’ve kickstarted a bunch of successful careers this way.
My main problem now is that I can’t seem to Fairy Godmother myself -_-;;
I’m not really updating my resume, but I am trying to revamp my website to better reflect the things I can do and want to do. Trying to find a throughline is hard – I had one, and then it got taken away from me :\
Hmm… sounds like you’re at the crux of a change in life path and that’s always a little challenging to navigate because the course isn’t clear. Hopefully it’s a little exciting, too!
Ugh. Personal websites. Mine needs love, too.
These are also things that I love to do, and I’m good at. I really enjoy connecting people with jobs, homes, opportunities, new friends. I feel like we could create a kick-ass consultancy firm of some kind!
I love this synergy! Make it happen!
LET’S DO IT
i am good at housekeeping. it’s a skill that not everyone has, as living with a series of room mates has taught me. i hope i can start a trend of being masculine and also out and proud of my good housekeeping skillz. it’s pretty metal u guize.
It is definitely not a skill everyone has. I’m staring down a pile of laundry and a million piles of crap that have to disappear before my sister-in-law and her BF come visit next weekend. And I never dust or do the baseboards. I’m just not that into cleaning. So I think it is very awesome that you are!
Rock on with your hygienic self.
lol i mean my room is messy for sure, so i’m not claiming the trait of actually *being* tidy. but some people don’t know stuff like how to mop (like my good friend, bless him — i was amazed the first time i saw him try to mop, poor guy). or know that if you remember to squeeze out the kitchen sponge when you’re done, then it won’t start to smell bad, like a soggy sponge will. simple stuff that i assumed everybody knew until i went out into the real world and realized they didn’t. thanks mom and dad for teaching me. hopefully i will learn the skill of actually being consistently tidy at some point.
Ah, yes, this is truth. It is surprising how many people don’t know how to do really basic things around the house.
I’m with you on that trend! I (usually) have the cleanest kitchen you’ve seen AND my ass looks good in boxer briefs.
on second thought, it would be even better if feminine people were proud of their housekeeping skills too. housekeeping is rad. all the genders. let’s elevate the status of this under-appreciated skill. rawr!
I am a cleaner and I work on a team of all ladies and this morning I did such a BOSS job of making those beds I am so proud of myself.
My wife shares this skill. =)
I was readings the comments, wondering what the hell I’m good at, and then I saw this. I am great at making a comfy home. Too bad the world doesn’t pay me for it.
This is a good exercise for me today.
I am good at:
Inventing something tasty to easy out of the random odds and ends in the fridge.
Getting places intuitively when I don’t remember the actual directions.
Napping in weird places/positions.
Not so sure about actual resume skills though… Oops.
Macgyver Meals! That’s what we call it in my house when you make a meal our of whatever random things you have on hand.
I think these are all highly desired skills in a person. Here, reformatted for your resume:
Inventing something tasty to easy out of the random odds and ends in the fridge.
Synthesizes varied and confusing information into an easily digestible form.
Getting places intuitively when I don’t remember the actual directions.
Excellent ability to note and recall information.
Napping in weird places/positions.
Flexible and highly adaptable, unafraid of unconventional challenges.
Kaelyn, I think I have a crush on your resume wording skills. (And, ha, my phone just autocorrected that to resume witching skills – that could work, too!)
I once tried to get people to pay me $25 to review and improve their resumes via a craiglist ad, but no one wanted to hire me off of craigslist. Ah well…
Next time I need to use my resume I would hire you off autostraddle to improve it!
<3
Brb adding this into my actual resume so I can have a giggle next time I have to look at it.
Hi everyone…on a beautiful sunny Spring Day in Texas!! A day that makes you have to grin!
Well, I have a Texas Nursery Professional Certification from the Texas Nursery and Landscape Assoc…… so I guess I am a plant girl who loves to help others succeed with their gardening with knowledgable info, as well as just loving the awesome beauty and intricacies of flowers….. and planting as many flowers as possible!
Cool! What kind of plants do you like to work with most? I wish I was better with orchids. They’re so beautiful and so hard to care for and I always kill them! Succulents fare better with me.
I have a lot of orchids….some are easy to grow, but there are SO many varieties, and some are very difficult to get to bloom. I love “profusion” zinnias for an all summer color plant. Pentas for the heat, and salvia greggi(Autumn Sage) to attract the hummingbirds. I am a total push over for yellow blooming flowers…..like Esperanza(Yellow Bells). :)
Sounds like you have some gorgeous gardens!
Happy for the good TX flower recommendations!
Those all sound beautiful. I love orchids and zinnias. It’s impossible to be sad in a garden of brilliant zinnias.
I’m a theatre brat and have learned to organize entire shows with precision. I have become really good at instant decision making that doesn’t get anyone injured or prevent the show from flowing smoothly. Sadly, I am terrible at translating this to a resume for anything other than theatre. I am also really good at fixing buttons and making pajama pants. I have the desire to make shoes but have yet to find the funds with which to do so.
Um, organizing a show is an incredibly high level endeavor that takes lots of organizing, multi-tasking, communication, and interpersonal skills. If you ever want to do anything other than theatre, I feel like you have a lot to draw on. But why would you want to anything else? It sounds like you’re awesome at what you do.
Is there a way to be good at fixing buttons? I just sew the crap out of a button in random stitches until I’m pretty sure it’ll hold. Is there a better way?
This may sound bizarre, but (assuming you are working with 4-hole buttons) if you do 2 sets of crossed stitches through the button and then come back up through the fabric but not the button, wrap the thread twice around the stitches under the button, and finish it by only doing a single cross through the button holes before tying it off on the backside of the shirt, it shouldn’t come off and you will guarantee the button will be loose enough that you won’t have to fight to get it through the hole again. If that makes any sense at all, I will smile.
Thanks for this hot tip!
If it’s on something that will get tugged a lot, or on a delicate fabric, you can also put a button on the reverse. Sew through both buttons (one on either side of the fabric), and then when you pull on the button, the pressure will be on the other button on instead of ripping the fabric!
College has taught me some great skills. Or terrible habits. I’m not really sure.
I am very good at writing long research papers in one night and getting a good grade. I market this as being able to adhere to deadlines.
I am fantastic at planning and executing events for organizations I’m involved in like 5k fundraisers, but only if I’m on my own. For some reason I think it’s more work to try and plan something with other people. Maybe I am a control freak. Some self-discovery is happening right now.
I am great at making my resume look impressive, but I am AWFUL at writing cover letters. On a similar note, I am awful at getting hired for a summer job.
I’m a pretty clutch parallel parker, but I can’t drive stick. I’ve driven a firetruck a few times and I’m pretty boss at that.
I have incredible stamina for watching Netflix. And reading fanfiction. And reading Harry Potter. I read the entire sixth Harry Potter book in one go a few days ago.
I can write enough code to make a passible Tumblr theme, which is a cool newly acquired skill.
Uhhhh…tell me about this firetruck situation. SO jels.
I work part time as an EMT at a fire station and every Tuesday we take all the trucks out to test them/ clean the garage and I occasionally get to tool around town in a truck. It’s pretty cool.
Now that I’m thinking about it, the first thing I ever drove was a 1930s firetruck in a cow pasture on my grandpa’s farm. Oh, Iowa.
Pretty sure “can drive a firetruck like a boss” is the only item you need on a resume.
I’m going to try this instead of cover letters.
Good plan!
HARRY POTTER FOREVER
I’m really good at being nice to people and listening to their needs. I’m also good at making vegan cupcakes, slowly knitting scarfs, and playing magic the gathering.
How does one become your friend to have said vegan cupcakes? I can bring the almond milk and vegan coffee and vodka.
I just noticed I made a reference to booze and my bad if that offended or was rude.
I’m just imagining you playing Magic while calmly knitting a scarf and passing around a plate of cupcakes. Your life sounds delightful.
MTG!!! Hooray for another straddler who plays :) what are you colour/style prefs? If I may be so bold.
1. Good at cutting things down to fit a word count
2. Good at hyper-focusing on things I’m very interested in for hours/days
3. Good at traveling by myself and just generally being by myself
As far as headlines go, I like the second and last, KaeLyn :)
I LOVE TRAVELING BY MYSELF. I’m glad I’m not alone. There’s something relaxing about the anonymity of it and the fact that so much is out of your control (for better or worse) and it’s one of the few times it’s 100% socially acceptable to do things by yourself (drink, eat, sit in a corner staring into space). Except when it’s horrible. When I have a horrible travel experience, I really have a hard time finding the joy.
Also, this is good feedback. I went with the first one, so we’ll see how that goes! I’m actually not looking for a new job, though, I am just weird and like to update my headline. Lalala!
I’m actually not good at anything =/. I don’t really have a talent so i just pretty much do a little bit of everything. Everyone considers me a political junkie
I might even be the next Rachel Maddow ;)
based on past open threads, I’d say you are extremely skilled in the art of bowtie selfies.
LMAO!^ yeah? Ha i didn’t anyone noticed
Co-signed!
Grace under pressure. For some reason, while other people are running around like headless chickens, I’m able to pick up the pieces, tell everyone what to do and get the situation under control. Doesn’t matter if it’s a traffic accident or last-minute party preparations, when everyone loses their mind with stress, I’m calm as a cucumber.
Sounds like an awesome superpower, right? Only the rest of the time, when everyone else can take care of themselves, I’m pretty much an emotional mess. I guess that’s the price of having an awesome superpower.
This got me thinking, Anna. I operate in a similar fashion. Could we perhaps translate this skill of temporarily shelving extraneous emotion/information into non-emergency everyday situations? Because that’s how we stay calm under pressure, right? By focusing on the priorities. Perhaps we’re emotional messes because we allow ourselves to be flooded with all kinds of thoughts and feelings, unless there’s some sort of an emergency going on. Maybe we could be more disciplined on a regular basis… what do you think?
I am like this, too! I think we are big picture thinkers. Lots of stuff going on all the time–lots of over-processing the world and lots of empathy. And when it comes to an emergency and everyone is sweating the small stuff, we’re able to see the path out clearly.
I am like this too!! I have horrible anxiety, but somehow in a crisis, particularly if a friend needs help, it’s like all of that falls away and I am the calm one who sees what needs to be done. I wish I could access that ability at other times, but it feels like it’s outside of my control.
Oh this topic is timely. Next week I’ll be starting a class project where we are building ourselves a website and when the assignment was being announced ect. I actually said, “Oh nooo.”, outloud. Okay more like groaned oh no rather than speak oh no like a grown human.
I’m terrible at discussing myself in a WSF professionalish manner and really good at clamming up. I think that maybe it’s not just I didn’t learn how to be a person, but the core of who I am is unacceptable in a professional environment and I don’t know how to be WSF without becoming the an ice monarch.
It’s the struggle I’m still having internally, being a whole person not inhabiting a facet of myself like it is me. The two facets that are the most prominent in this struggle are the I’m A Normal Human Don’t Notice Me Please and the thing I can’t really name be I’d describe it as a desire to be ferocious, to be feared again.
It’s the facet that makes me want to copy this character’s hairstyle
Even if it cost me a job and respect because fuck their respect they are but worms. Destructive and haughty is not who I want to be.
Skills I have that are not the never ending struggle between Creator and Destroyer monologuing vary enough to def pick up Jehanne of Many, Master of Some.
Metal smithing, which covers alot
Wire wrapping delicate bones like say a chicken’s is something I am a master at
Getting under people’s skin
Finding weaknesses, from humans to rocks and lots in between
Going without sleep but that’s more a misfortune than a skill
Typography and packaging design, and I daresay layout
Keeping detailed notes when designing that I can look back on and totally understand
Dancing like serpent
Dancing like a woman transforming into a beast
Dancing like I took burlesque lessons but never have
Finding a way to wiggle my butt to even the most mundane of music
Wiggling clothes back up onto my butt
Kicking joyously and high enough to nail people in the face
Taking pants, legging and even pantyhose off with ease during a striptease type dance
Making up characters and worlds I never forget even if I don’t write them down
Cartwheeling in heels
Eating a whole pizza solo with nary a fuck given because hungry is as hungry does
Listening and letting music flow through me when I dance to it or with it
The process of baking and cooking
Getting what flavours meld will well
Breaking up with people firmly without being vicious
Detaching my feels is a skill, but it used to be my SOP
Taking control and doing what’s needed in a crisis
Singing to 60 in Spanish is not a skill it’s just weird
Holding long notes when singing
Singing Iron Man and other songs from the Paranoid album
Singing Nightcrawler by Judas Priest
Doing that growl Joan Jett does when I sing her song
Finding humor even in my bad place without going to into scary hysterical laughter
Making up a jillion nicknames for my dog and foster pup
Maneuvering the balance of my body to reach stuff without falling down ect
List making :)
Picture time
My dog in her halloween costume, she was the Devil and I tried to be Faust but everyone thought I was a GOT character. And below is the foster pup during her recovery period looking way too sedate and innocent.
I considered adding this picture of me where I can’t be older than 5 years old doing what is kind of almost a pin-up pose in a Disney’s Pocahantas beanbag chair, but I think Imma save that up for a future ‘hey lets all share what we looked like as kids’ posts. Also it it’s minorly disturbing right now as I consider my lack of self and ability to inhabit a facet like it is a self, but switch it off like a light.
Organizing pictures brings stuff up >.>
Well this is pretty much your website. Copy and paste. Assignment DONE.
Lawd no it’s suppose to be profesh, and ass shaking is not my intended profession. Even if I have been tempted to become burlesque performer for real.
I can’t even write an artist statement for a grant. Not even one that I really really wanted and if I had gotten would have learned glass blowing which combined with my metal smithing would have given me a chance at being an artisan.
If I was still doing metal smithing the website thing would be a non issue just charm a photography oriented person in program into helping me photograph my stuff. Then just bit of “copy” and wah-la website.
But this is suppose to be about us as designers/artists, or something covered by “graphic arts” and portfolio worthy. It has to have words about ourselves because the product is ourselves and I am shit at things like that. Selling someone a thing is easy selling myself is a barrel of neurosis and sweat stains.
I dun wanna freelance evar. I want to work for a company and hide behind a giant computer screen dealing with other humans as minimally as hopefully doing something layout related or focused.
hey! if you ever need to write an artist statement again, i’m your girl to encourage and proofread and tell you what i learned while obtaining art school debt.
also, i audibly aw’d when i saw the photo of your dog in their halloween costume.
I will try to catalog this offer even I doubt I will be trying such a thing anytime soon.
She is adorable and that costume is the right amount of ridiculous and people need silly animal pictures like sunshine and vitamin D.
I’m the best cuddle monster in the world!
Or so my girlfriend says. :D
I’m sure y’all are the best cuddle monsters in the world too.
Actually this is a real skill. Some people are bad at cuddling. It is a fact.
I’m good at being level-headed during stressful situations and cracking jokes during said situations. I was on a business trip a few weeks ago, and our group almost got kicked out of our hotel (You’d think I’m the lesbian Axel Rose)for literally nothing. We didn’t do a single damn thing…but that’s a story for another time. I was able to calm my business partner the hell down and we settled things professionally.
I had a crazy, yet amazing week my fellow Straddlers (is that what folks are called here? I’m new to posting.) I connected with a potential client/creative collaborator who could really change the game in LGBT TV/Film. A horror film my production company is working on got financing and we’re heading to do location scouting next month in MN. I’ve never been there so what should I expect? I’m single and ready to mingle! I also started to do my taxes (Boo!), but I did it while listening to the new Sleater-Kinney album (Yay!) I also found out that a girl I recently had a tryst with is now stripping and she told me she’s considering a career in porn. (Ummm…)
Yes, you are a straddler. Welcome to the straddleverse. We straddle things: worlds, lovers, sofa cushions. Welcome home.
I dunno about the single life in MN. If you’re going to Minnesota, we have this: http://www.autostraddle.com/queer-city-guide-minneapolis-mn-154866/
Thanks! I’m long time creepy lurker…like 4-years-long. Finally feels good to be on the horse. You know, straddlin’.
I don’t know about the dating scene in Minnesota, but I hope you like t-shirts because that tacky souvenir shit is everywhere. I’m pretty sure you can buy a t-shirt and shot glass in every single town, and there’s statues of Paul Bunyan everywhere. I spent last summer up there and it was a riot.
I am good at cooking delicious dinners and breakfasts for my fiancée and me. I am an office coordinator, so I’m good at typing. I am also pretty good at staying in touch with friends in different states/countries/hemispheres. I am very good with directions, except the NYC subway system.
Nobody is good with the NYC subway system. Literally no one. Everyone seems to know how to get from point A to B in their daily life, but ask them about C or D and they’re like, I dunno. Check Google Maps.
I always come up the wrong staircase and end up walking around the block. #theworst
Do you know they don’t even teach typing in some schools anymore? What is the world coming to?! People are sometimes surprised at how fast I type, but I learned the “home row” method in high school and that’s all it is… Anyway, being a good typist is a dying art!
And google maps never works down there! #thestruggle
I can flutahoop, play flute and hula hoop at the same time. It doesn’t pay bills except that one time google paid me to hoop at an 80s party!
WHAT?! I did not know that flutahooping is a thing. Are there videos of you at the Google party? How long did you have to hoop for? Was it like go-go dancing?
Haha it’s definitely not a thing but I’m sure some other human has done it. I did see a video of an amazing aerialist goddess playing violin on silks! There is no video of me but I have photos. Alas, posting photos is not a thing I’m Jilling! Our google gig went on for about 2 hours. We wore tacky and fabulous 80s clothes (mine included silver leggings) and hooped to beats amidst hair spray clouds!
That is a long hoop sesh! It’s OK if you can’t post pics. I am imagining this now and it is GLORIOUS. Or I guess I should say, “Totally wicked!!!”
As a fellow hula hooper, I am impressed and amazed. So cool!
Thanks! Hoop dAncing is a dream! I couldn’t keep it on my waist for 2 hours straight! I’m too clumsy.
I’m good at fending for myself when my friends ditch me to go on dates.
I’m also exceptionally good at binge-watching/reading and becoming overly attached to fictional characters
I relate! Screaming, “Nooooo!” at the TV is a thing I do a lot.
I am really good at doing random social experiments.
I am good at applying business world career logic to my social worker career (which has gotten me where I wanted, but leaves people scratching their heads a bit).
I am good at creating community in my classroom of students from such wildly different backgrounds, which I attribute to my ability to be self-aware and speak in the moment about what I’m experienced (or have experienced) in an authentic and relatable way (usually using the F word repeatedly).
I am a really good mom who only rarely has a freak-out meltdown.
I’m excellent at cyber tracking people down (stalking is so loaded). Case in point…reuniting my adoptive brother with his biological parents in only 24 hours of internet searching with the facts of just their first names and the fact that they were married at some point. Skillz.
I am great at making the house appear clean in the 30 minutes before guests arrive.
These are all wonderful qualities!
I don’t know why we all try to clean up before people come over. 95% of us have messy houses. Would the world end if we let each other see our less-than-pristine homes? I do the same thing, though!
Yeah, I’ve heard of the concept of drop-by parties, where friends vow to not clean before their friends come over. And they make food out of whatever random stuff they have lying around in the fridge. I don’t have a huge need to keep my space spotless, but there’s this line from ‘comfortably messy’ to ‘burn this motherfucker down and start over from the foundation’ that I straddle is very thin and so the whirlwind cleaning for friends keeps me from being locked up for arson.
I’ve tried to pretend that every day is friends coming over day (to just maintain that crazy clean), but so far that’s not one of my skills.
I feel you. I feel you so hard.
I am really good at: remembering things I read, sleeping, reading maps/having a sense of direction, and inventing meals out of the weird foods I find in my fridge.
I WISH I was good at parallel parking. It takes me so long to park that I might as well have just walked wherever it is I’m trying to go. I can drive stick though! Thanks Dad!
This is so fun reading everyone’s things they’re good at. We are all so awesome and talented!!!
You can drive stick! That is pretty cool. I can’t and I think it’s pretty badass when someone can.
Parallel parking just takes practice and lots of trial-and-error. I learned by necessity. On the other hand, I’ve never learned stick. Nor have I learned to drive anything larger than a compact car.
Hello Autostraddle! This is my first post here, but I’ve been lurking for a year or so. I’m currently working on being more positive about myself, so this thread couldn’t have come at a better time. I am good at…
Bird and plant identification
Reading, understanding, and summarizing complex writing
Music
Procrastination
Making Kraft Dinner
I look forward to getting to know all the wonderful people here =)
Hey! Welcome to your Straddler coming out! Step into the sun, babe! TBH, I lurked for years….YEARS…until I started writing for AS. I literally did not comment on anything until I started writing here, so don’t feel weird about lurking. A lot of us do it!
Being good at procrastination is a real thing. Look at us all here in the FOT, probably procrastinating! I know I am!
How did you get into plant and bird stuff? Do you do nature walks?
what you never commented until you were HIRED by AS? Well, you’re a wonderful writer and also hostess for this Open Thread KaeLyn. Glad you de-lurked and we have your words here regularly now.
I know! I’m the worst! But I’m here now and so are you and everything is great and nothing hurts!
*waves* Hi!!!
Welcome to Autostraddle where we fulfill all your autostraddle dreams *throw confetti in the air*
I may need you to read my thesis then! No, it’s torture. These are amazing qualities
Thanks, everyone =)
@kaelynrich I was lucky enough to grow up in a town with lots of parks, trails and woods, so I spent a lot of time wandering around outside. Interestingly enough, one of my motivations for taking up birdwatching was to impress a cute girl. She was the one who finally made me admit my gayness to myself. And yes, I do nature walks. Anyone up for an Autostraddle meet-up/nature walk?
@sheryl Cool! What is your thesis about?
Hmmm. I’m good at predicting bad turbulence on airplanes, if my flight Wednesday is any indication. I’m good at preparing taxes. I am good at screaming at bad Houston drivers and putting away a plate of enchiladas.
On the other hand, I am bad about actually going to a lesbian bar. I drove past the bar in Houston THREE TIMES and couldn’t screw up the courage to park and go in.
On another note, I think I might move back to Houston after I finish my Master’s degree in July. Eeeek!
Love it! All great skills. How do you predict turbulence? Are you psychic? Do you feel it in your bones? Do you have future vision?
Also, GO TO THE LESBIAN BAR. Just go in. It’s OK. Maybe if you could find a friend to go in with you it would be less intimidating.
I was flying from Houston to Kansas City and there were storms right in the flight path. The plane was rockin’ and rollin’ for 15 minutes.
Well I served 4 years in the Army, so I picked up a lot of skills there. I am armorer certified, combatives level 1 certified, and CBRN (chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear) defense certified. I held the MOS of 14E, which is patriot air missile defense. I spent 1 year overseas in Kuwait.
I am currently a nursing student at Miami University (in Ohio). I play Tetris competitively. I am top 50 in the world at competitive Tetris.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1lZFBooSdU&w=560&h=315%5D
I am currently speaking out at my university against transphobic material being included in the curriculum.
Ugh, combatives… I remember doing a short version of that in OBC at Camp Bullis outside San Antonio. I hope to never see a tire pit again. Props to you for being good at it!
Well I wouldn’t call level 1 “good”. Just enough to know what you’re doing. I would be happy to never ever do it again though.
I only kind of know what all that means, but it sounds damn impressive!
Also, THERE IS COMPETITIVE TETRIS?! I had no idea. BRAV-F*CKING-O!!!!!!!
And good for you for speaking up and speaking out. Get’em!
Thank you for serving and thank you for speaking against transphobic material.
this made me think of all my good + positive traits. what a nice self-confidence boost/thank you.
okay, i am a person who gets off updating their resume because i’m an artist and updating my cv means i showed work or someone bought something or i got a grant. not much of that pays the bills, but i like to think i have some good creative/conceptual thought ability. i pay the bills with unglamorous gallery work, meaning i can hang a mean painting, paint your walls without needing drop cloths or tape, and keep my cool when a semi-famous artist wants me to move their sculpture over 3 inches to the left for the 5th time.
I’m also good at making exact right amount of smoothie for the glass i’m using, and rope tying.
Dude, those are all way badass skills. There is always too much smoothie. HOW DO YOU DO IT?!
And I think I also like to update my resume and CV because it is nice to reflect on where I’ve been and where I’m going, what to add and take away. It’s a good self-confidence boost.
What kind of art do you do?
i truly have no idea. i have ‘eyes bigger than my stomach’ syndrome in every other food area of my life.
for sure, it can be a good time to take stock of things.
i make performance and installation work. i can’t imagine doing anything else, art or otherwise.
If you don’t mind me asking, how do you reconcile the parts of art you love with the parts that are not so good, like the exasperating diva big-name artists making you move their statue 3 inches to the left? I am working in a field I thought I loved, at an institution I used to love with my whole heart, but the job lets me see the sausage being made (so to speak) and it is breaking my heart, and I’m finding it hard to compartmentalize the parts I still love with the parts that are demoralizing.
i am really good at binge watching things. for example, my current project of re-watching the real l word. it is so terrible/amazing. but its also such a like time warp, remember when wearing a single feather earring was like the height of hipster fashion?
Oh, man, that’s a trip! Down L Word Memory Lane! I have the box set. I’m kind of afraid if I watch it all my feel-good memories will be ruined by how actually cheesy it is. Who knew that less than a decade later there would be a million lesbians on TV on practically every channel? Maybe that’s a good reason to watch it. To remember what it was like and where we were. Because sometimes if feels like we’ve got a long way to go IRT representation, but damn have we come a ways, too!
Also, I hated that single feather earring thing. Sorry to anyone that liked it. I hated it about as much as I hate feather hair extensions. Ugh.
I feel really confident on my short bios/taglines on twitter and tumblr because they do a great job of summing me up. Unfortunately “queer whitewater junkie and scientist” isn’t the most professional thing to put up on LinkedIn (uggghhhhh professionalism).
I’m a great cook, even (and especially) when I’m improvising. I’m not so great with only a camping stove though (except chocolate chip pancakes–I’ve got that shit down), but that should improve this summer.
I’m great at managing my time so I can go kayaking.
I rock at traveling long distances in a car by myself, particularly in mornings before anyone else is awake.
I’m not too shabby at kayaking too. Here’s a few pictures of me dropping a ~10 ft waterfall near my parent’s house:
Hollis, look at you! Look at your kayaking in the cold, cold water! I SEE SNOW.
You are a total badass. Put that on LinkedIn. “Queer Whitewater Junkie, Scientist, Total Badass.” I’d hire you.
Are you going on some sort of epic camping/hiking trip this summer?
I mean “epic extended camping trip” is one way to phrase things. The other way to phrase things would be “wow rent is expensive and getting up at 5am to drive three hours to work several times a week (or getting up at 6:30 every single day to drive an hour and a half to work) sounds like no fun, so why deal with that when you can live out of a car for three and a half months?”
This is valid. Also, I love it.
A 10-ft waterfall in the snow?! Very badass, very cool.
Hey Humans!! Ok so if I could update my resume to be totally accurate, it would say something along the lines of “I am very skilled at avoiding large crowds. Also, computer stuff. Also, really good at un-jamming printers. I’m great with dogs and accidentally good with kids (they love me). Your mom would probably love me, as would your grandma. I’m pretty good at figuring out whodunnit on those cop shows. I have a degree that I don’t use. I learn quick, so please hire me. Please?”
Ok so this week has been awesome mostly because I am in Bermuda. This is the view I wake up to each morning from my cousin’s home:
Right!?
We’ve gone on tours and gotten drunk with locals and today there was a spa day complete with a massage and fancy robes and a hot tub. This was the view from the spa:
This beach…I want to live on this beach.
Like… I don’t need a house. Just drop me on this beach and let me live.
It’s been a bit too chilly to actually get in the water, which is the saddest bit of it all. But these views; feeling sand between my toes and breathing in salty air has been just so freakin awesome for me, mentally. I needed this trip after the month I’ve had, and couldn’t be more thankful that I have family that can provide these things. Like my little cousin doesn’t want me to leave, ever, and is working on finding me a husband (yeaaa, we haven’t had that talk yet (also same-sex marriage isn’t recognized here, so..)) so I can stay here on the island forever with him. It feels very good to be wanted and to know that I’d be missed. That’s important to me right now. And now I know I have another place to come when shit gets too real. I don’t want to leave, tbh.
Oh, jeez that didn’t work at all. Help! :(
I can’t do you nuthin to your post, but I can tell you bbcode isn’t gunna work here and this is the html thing that will:
Oh blergh, it’s:
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Also the OP of every FOT has directions.
*Flails*
http://www.w3schools.com/html/html_images.asp
I’ve got ya! All fixed now.
NEVER LEAVE.
Oh bless you.
AND I DONT EVER WANT TO LEAVE EVER.
“I don’t need a house. Just drop me on this beach and let me live.” YES. This.
Beautiful photos.
Okay, speaking of cats and talents, I would like to say that my cat has mad skills as being the most vocal purrer in the world. And now that I am home from work, I can upload a video of it. She CONSTANTLY purrs like this – she’s literally been doing it for the past hour ever since I stepped in the door. (Though, the video really doesn’t do her justice).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pvd6-5bXlw&w=420&h=315
OMG SO PRECIOUS. She’s going to break her purr box with that adorable noise.
Thanks! :D Her purring is very soothing when I’m trying to fall asleep (as long as it isn’t TOO loud).
Adorable! I didn’t even know cats could make noises like that…
Thanks! At the shelter I adopted her from, she was known by everyone there for her loud purring. I think she’s trying to sing, sort of like a dove cooing.
I am super jealous of everyone in this thread who can parallel park. I can finally do it without ending up 5 feet from the curb but it ain’t pretty
I actually had my employee evaluations a few weeks back (yeah, my company always does them late) so I actually have something to contribute to this thread! oh boy do I have something to contribute.
1.) THE DARK POWER TO CONTROL MY COWORKERS EMOTIONS.
This was actually something that came up in the evaluations. My boss actually thinks that I can affect the whole mood of the lab through mechanisms she does not understand. it was listed under leadership skills on the eval.
2.) THE ABILITY TO TELL IF SOMEONE IS A DRAMA-SEEKING MISSILE WITHIN 30 MINUTES OF MEETING THEM.
Have you ever just looked at someone and was like, nope? yeah. Didn’t specifically come up in the eval, but it lead directly to skill #3.
3.) THE ABILITY TO ACT LIKE A MATURE ADULT IN THE FACE OF BULLSHIT MIDDLE SCHOOL WORK DRAMA.
As much as I love my job, my workplace can be a seriously toxic place. my department had been sheltered from the worst of it, however last year my boss transferred a employee from another department into our own. Employee caused my drama-senses to tingle, so I acted professional but cut off any attempts to be friends outside the workplace. coworker proceeded to prove my feeling totally right by pulling a bunch of passive aggressive bullshit and on one memorable occasion, cornering me at work when it was just us and demanding to know why I didn’t like her. Each time I documented the incident, took pictures if pictures could be taken, shared them with the senior-most coworker in and reported them to my boss. After a few times getting reprimanded by she stopped trying to be ‘friends’ with me and we have a professional but distant relationship. She’s the head gossip of the company and I’m sure she talks all kinds of shit about me but idgaf. I was worried the situation would be held against me but my boss actually gave me a commendation for how I handled it. So yay for that.
BRAVO! You win the award for least drama in the workplace!!! Seriously, though, you obvs have a high level of EQ (emotional intelligence) and it is AWESOME that your boss notices and gives you credit for it!
This is pretty timely for me. I’m starting a new job next week (super excited) and I’m applying for some freelancing gigs so I updated my resume last week. It was hard! I went to college for English, Nonprofit Management, and Philanthropy Communications. Now I’m an organic farmer and a freelance writer. So there’s that.
If I had to make a serious tagline it would say something like:
“Freelance Writer, Farmer-in-Training, Change Maker, & World Traveler”
If I had to make something not serious but super true it would say something like:
“Badass Road Tripper, Kale Harvester Extraordinaire, Winner of Dance Offs, & Generally All Around Crazy, Brave Lady”
And for fun, I hope in the next five years I can add these fun things to my toolbox:
“Amazing Car Mechanic! Super Long Distance Runner! Spanish Speaking Person You Can Actually Understand Sometimes! & Super Awesome Girlfriend!”
That last one might just be a dream.
But you never know. :)
So I also went to school for English and nonprofit administration (and women’s studies)! I ended up picking “Change Maker” for my updated headline. I like the way it sounds, that it feels “active” and that it can mean many many different things.
Good luck with the new job! And with life goals, in general! World = your oyster!
I think that my main skills are learning quickly and analyzing processes for efficiency. I love Love LOVE improving on processes! I am quite fond of excel macros and access. All of this is good because I’m a systems analyst.
I’m also learning that I like people. I like dealing with and helping people! I want to do more of that!
Gals, I’m volunteering at The Trans 100 on Sunday!!!! I’ll be greeting my beautiful/handsome and glamorous trans siblings as they enter. I’m so excited. I think it’s going to be amazing!
OMG HAVE SO MUCH FUN at the Trans 100!!!
I’m good at identifying new opportunities
I’m good at coming up with a plan on how to tackle them
I’m really, really good at making mix tapes. Like, in 9th grade I was known to make THE best mix tapes.
I’m good at making cornbread and blueberry pie.
I’m good at playing piano.
I’m good at Physics.
I’m good at Calculus.
I also want to add I just listened to Perfume Genius’s Put Your Back N 2 It in its entirety. This had previously been impossible for me since it brings to mind my ex-boyfriend’s death and other scary things I don’t want to face. So, this is a milestone for me.
You are crushing it today! :) Sending hugs.
Oh, man, mix tapes. I still have a couple mix tapes and nothing to play them on. The last tape player in my possession kicked it years ago.
I am very good at doctoring box mac and cheese. I am also very good at…setting up props in a timely and single minded fashion. Also good at talking about any thing but the bad thing that is happening. Or making jokes about it.
What’s your favorite addition to mac and cheese?
My go-to is diced tomatoes and sriracha
Mmmm. I also like to mix in sriracha, but I also like to put hot sauce on everything ever. I like to add frozen peas while the mac is cooking!
I am good at noticing when people don’t feel included. I am good at drawing the same person again and again even when I’m trying to make them look different. I am good at not being sick (or, my immune system is). I am good at churning out essays when I want to. I am patient when teaching people things. I am good at finishing assignments when I enjoy them. Some of this will help with my resume, some…not so much.
All great things! The first one is really, really significant! Not everyone has that level of emotional empathy!
I parallel park a VW bus with no power steering Like. A. Champ.
Apparently I’m good at “being a voice of calm” when I’m actually attempting to do nine things at once whilst on the phone dealing with another thing… Or so a very sweet thank you message about a stressful situation from a client said today.
I’m good with tools/DIY manual stuff.
My missus tells me I’m an omelette making queen, as long as we have eggs and cheese we have a dinner.
I’m a layout perfectionist, I will spend hours adjusting kerning and placement for even the smallest piece of work…which may or may not be a good thing.
I’m the best at getting so lost in what I’m reading or researching that I lose track of time and possibly space…which isn’t so much a skill as directed procrastination.
I would love to know how to apply any of this and my MA if I ever pass it to my CV and get a job that pays money and that I like! I think I need a spin doctor.
Teach me your ways! The last time I had to parallel park it took me ten minutes and four attempts and when I finally parked the car and got out the construction crew across the street gave me a sarcastic round of applause. It’s possible that was the day I became a Bike Person.
In terms of applying your skills to your MA may I suggest that you drive to your thesis defence in said VW, and somehow manoeuvre it into the tiniest parking space you can find while calmly explaining your thesis. If at any point you get overwhelmed, hold up a preprepared and beautiful-designed sign that says “I do what I want” and cook everyone omelettes on the stove you rig scrap metal fueled by the engine of your beautiful behemoth of a vehicle. BAM automatic pass.
Well that ought to do it! :)
Also, mean construction workers! It doesn’t matter how long it takes as long as you get parked in the end. My reversing lights broke so I was hindered parking at night due to rear visibility issues (cameras are cheating folks) and it was hell…so much inning and outing and waiting for vehicles to pass. Ugh. I swear parallel parking is 40% spatial/vehicle awareness 40% accurate driving and the rest is a fluctuating combo of dumb luck and grim determination. Usually, barring aforementioned technical issues, I park on the first try. My mother refuses to park her car if I’m her passenger because she thinks I will judge her… No joke.
I have always been pretty good at parallel parking. My new car has the rear camera, though, and it is pretty much idiot-proof for parallel parking. I imagine the cameras are going to become standard eventually. They probably prevent a lot of fender benders.
Now, though, people sometimes honk at me because they think I’m going to hit them when I’m backing up because I don’t have to crawl inch by inch and they think I’m not looking.
Aaaanyway, I will be your spin doctor:
Apparently I’m good at “being a voice of calm” when I’m actually attempting to do nine things at once whilst on the phone dealing with another thing…
Strong customer service skills, excels at multi-tasking when working under pressure
I’m good with tools/DIY manual stuff.
Self-starter and innovative problem solver.
My missus tells me I’m an omelette making queen, as long as we have eggs and cheese we have a dinner.
Resourceful and careful project manager.
I’m a layout perfectionist, I will spend hours adjusting kerning and placement for even the smallest piece of work…which may or may not be a good thing.
Keen eye for detail, always delivers high quality work
I’m the best at getting so lost in what I’m reading or researching that I lose track of time and possibly space…which isn’t so much a skill as directed procrastination.
Dedicated to the task at hand.
I’m pushing myself to comment because it’s been a rough day/maybe this will help a little. Uuuum I passed the practical and written tests to get my motorcycle license with zero deductions (and totally smoked the fellas in my required riding course). There’s more but it’s not super articulable atm.
congratulations on passing those tests! I find it super impressive, particularly because motorbikes are heavy and only have two wheels and how do you get it to balance?? Also, I hope your weekend gets better.
Badass alert! That is awesome! You are awesome!
Oh I love reading all the comments, you’re all making my hangover a bit more bearable. Last night I was actually doing my own beer taste test and had great chat with a friend about life and what we’re good at. Conclusion, I’m great at bossing people around and looking very confident when I’m actually dying of social anxiety. And drinking, probably my best skill.
I never felt as close to and loved as I did when my lesbian gf penetrated me with her strapon. Those feelings of closeness as her girlfriend and having her inside me made me truly know I am a lesbian. They were very wonderful, and loving feelings more than simply sexual, if you can understand. When I put the8 photos of my body and parts on my tumblr, I wanted everyone to know that these female feelings of closeness can come out of male parts if that person knows she is transfemale and likes women.
I know this is off topic, but I just had to say this. I hope all of you know those feelings of “closeness” that I mentioned! Thanks for understanding.
I’m not good at resume things, as I am a baby college student who can’t seem to get an internship to save her life. What I AM good at, though, is rambling about and freaking out about and generally knowing too much about theatre. All of this is really to say I saw Fun Home on Broadway last night and HOLY SHIT everyone needs to see this show. Lesbian protagonist? Female composer and writers? ALISON BECHDEL?
The best part was that since I was at the first preview, a shit load of people there and guys. GUYS. I MET ALISON BECHDEL. SHE WAS SO SWEET AND SIGNED MY COPY OF THE NOVEL TO ME AND WAS JUST GENERALLY A PRECIOUS ANGEL I told her her story changed my life and she seemed very touched and just. AHHHH ALISON BECHDEL. ooookay I’m done I JUST NEEDED SOMEONE TO UNDERSTAND.
This is the best I am so stoked for you and also a tiny bit jealous but only in a good way because oh my life that book is just the best, I’ve referenced it in my MA quite a lot there’s a great paper on it which I also read. Ugh so much love for Fun Home! Also Alison Bechdel’s Dykes to Watch Out for was one of my first visions of lesbian pop culture in strips as a kid. So many Bechdel feelings.
WOAH REALLY COOL BIZ! I can’t wait to see Fun Home! Though I doubt Alison Bechdel will be there every night. LOL. You are super lucky!!!
I am really good at making things awkward. All the time. But luckily I’m also good at making jokes about anything and everything, and they usually don’t come at anyone else’s expense. That usually helps with the awkward stuff.
In more exciting news, I’m getting a puppy! I went and picked him out today. He won’t be big enough to come home for a few weeks, but I will most definitely post photos of him once he does.
WHAT KIND OF PUPPY?! SO EXCITE!
My resume spin for you is that you are “Frank and to the point and you approach all things with a sense of humor.”
So, I knowi already posted, but if anyone is still checking this:
I had a crazy day, mostly good!
Our local Secretary of State’s facility closed, and it’s that magical time when I get to update the gender marker in my driver’s licence! I went to a nearby town which turned out to be insanely busy. The wait was so long, I ended up driving to another, less nearby town. I got to the counter and they had to make a call because I must’ve been the first trans person coming in to change the gender marker. That was fine, they figured it out. But then, they needed to confirm my address. I didn’t have anything with me for that. They couldn’t just print me out a new license with the address on my current license.
I drove home (40 minutes, state highway) grabbed a utility bill and some other pieces of mail, and went back. THIS WAS THE DAY I WANTED TO HAVE THIS GENDER MARKER CHANGED, D*MN IT!
You can see by my resting bitch face that I was not amused. But once it was finished and I left, I started to get very happy about it!
I stopped by my favorite place in for food and drink here in town, Big Grove Tavern, and had a celebratory cocktail and meal. I didn’t get carded!
I also decided to wear this dress for The Trans 100:
The angle isn’t great in that picture because I had to use a mirror that should be hung, but apartment living…
I actually bought this dress a few years ago. It fits much better now after a year on HRT!
Also, can I share that I love my legs now?
I had to capitulate to my training and get those heels today. My legs are too tired from running to handle the amount of time I’ll be spending on them tomorrow in any shoes taller than those!
I had to skip my run today. I think I did a dumb thing and just didn’t take in enough calories, so I started feeling really poorly after being out and about.
A younger gal in the shoe store approached me and said “this might sound creepy, but you have a cute walk, like a runway model or something.” So that felt good.
But no one asked to see my I.D. today! So ironic, it finally matches!
Yay that’s so exciting to get your new ID!!!
I’m also glad you love your legs now bc those are legs that deserve a lot of love.
I’m still so excited! I want to show people my driver’s license, and it feels silly, but darn it! It’s a big step!
Thank you for the kind words. : )
Yay ID day! But sorry it was a much more stressful day than you’d planned. At least you looked great for the Trans 100! How was it? I watched some on livestream, but I’m sure it was much more awesome in person. Did you fangirl over anyone?
I will say that I didn’t have the greatest time at the trans 100, but it was totally on me, and I learned a lot.
I live downstate in Illinois. I Drove up and was caught in Chicago traffic for an hour on top of a three hour drive. I didn’t eat enough as well. Basically, I didn’t set myself up to succeed. My role was supposed to be greeting, and I did this, but I felt a little tacked on.
But, that’s just me. The event itself was amazing. I briefly met Angelica Ross, Jen Richards (really more just said “Hi” to Jen) and Laura Jane Grace. They were all very gracious. Angelica was just as beautiful and sweet (and really tiny) as you can imagine. Geena Rocero was there, but I didn’t get to speak with her. She was far tinier than I expected, too!
All of the people involved were very sweet, and very driven to help in the community. Such great people. They make a downstate gal like me feel way outclassed!
It was pretty amazing to be JUST surrounded by so many other trans people. We come from so many backgrounds, and express ourselves so differently in so many ways. It was really incredible to be surrounded by that much variety in a place where we all knew it was safe to be ourselves.
Also, I looked pretty amazing, if I say do myself.. : )