by rory midhani

It’s hard out here for a queer comic book fan. Yes, for sure, things are getting better for women in the wide world of geekery representation. Much, much better. Also, though, it’s hard to forget that straight white dudes are running the world like Lex Luthors most of the time.

Take Batwoman, for example. She was the only lesbian superhero in history with her own title, and DC ran the original creative team off by refusing to let Kate Kane get married to her girlfriend; then, when the new creative team introduced a disgusting rape storyline and readers complained, DC just pulled the plug. Consider Renee Montoya on Fox’s Gotham. She is a Latina lesbian, the first openly gay character in DC’s cinematic universe, and the show just stopped writing her into the story when straight fanboy backlash over her relationship with Jim Gordon’s fiance broke out.

Those high profile memories are way too fresh for me to get too excited about our recent nerdy strides, but, as always, I can comfort myself in the glory of fan fiction. Here are ten of my favorite Sapphic Superhero Stories.

yeah, we run this by girl0nfire

Pairing: Carol Danvers/Jessica Drew, Sharon Carter/Natasha Romanova, Kate Kane/Renee Montoya
Plot: “The undefeated Gotham Girls face the New York Dolls in the Eastern Roller Derby Championship – old grudges are settled, punches are thrown, and entirely too much fun is had by all.”

Carol’s got a cheeseburger hovering halfway between the plate and her mouth, and she’s glaring at it like it owes her money.

“Come on, Carol, it’s not that big of a deal,” Jessica wheedles, reaching across the table to snatch a french fry from Carol’s plate as the blonde continues to glower at her sandwich, her brow furrowing from the effort.

Dropping it back down onto her plate disgustedly, Carol props her elbows onto the table, resting her chin in her hands and letting out a heavy, irritated sort of huff.

“Really, Jess? Not that big of a deal?”

Jessica reaches across the table again and taps the tip of her finger against Carol’s nose, drawing a brief, small smile from her before Carol’s face settles into worry lines again. Jessica steals another fry, dragging it lazily through the pile of ketchup on Carol’s plate for a moment before she looks up again.

“It’s just a fractured ankle, it’s not even a deal at all, really. Dr. Foster said it should be mended in four weeks, max.”

The Last Time Barbara Wore That Costume by seriousfic

Pairing: Poison Ivy/Harley Quinn
Plot: “Harley likes to dress up as Batgirl. Ivy likes to defeat and ravish Batgirl. It’s nice when couples do things together.”

“Hark, evildoers!” Harley said, trampling through Ivy’s greenhouse with her hands locked on her svelte hips. “Poison Ivy, your reign of herbal hijinx ends tonight!”

A week ago, Harley and Ivy had captured the Dominoed Daredoll, and had far too much fun testing out a new batch of sex pollen out on her. She’d gotten away, but fortunately she’d left her costume. Since then, they’d had a lot of fun playing dress-up. With a little sewing, the costume fit Harley like a second skin, one Ivy was eager to help her shed.

She waited, watching Harley’s swept-back pigtails bob behind the cowl. Then she stepped out of hiding, lassoing Harley with a mental command to one of her vines.

“Eeek!” Harley cried out melodramatically, her entire body sagging in defeat. “Help me, Batman! I’ve been captured!”

“No one will help you now,” Ivy intoned. She strutted toward Harley, letting what few leaves covered her breasts drift away in the breeze. “You’re in the clutches of Poison Ivy!”

The Lady is a Tramp by maggiemerc

Pairing: Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli
Plot: Angie doesn’t know what Peggy does with her life, but she’s going to keep her safe while she does it. (“Loyal Idiots” is one of the tags on this story and I love it so much.)

The big dumb ape her boss calls cook stubs his toe and just goes “splat” right into the griddle. His hand gets burned so bad the other waitress says she’s gonna be sick and the boss kicks all the customers out with an apology and a weak smile and Angie gets clean up duty and closing duty because the other girl is as green as their uniforms and the boss wears a tie and no fella in a tie is gonna sack up the trash or wipe down the griddle. No siree.

Angie glances at the entrance more than she maybe should while she cleans up. She hadn’t seen Peggy at breakfast that morning and was kind of hoping—as stupid as it maybe was—that she’d stop by for a slice of pie after work. Angie’s even left the slice out and the boss has already left for the night so she could let Peggy in and everything.

She gets all these pictures of how it’d be. Her cleaning and gabbing and Peggy sitting on the stool by the window, framed in the light of the city, legs crossed at the knee and lips pursed in thought as she considers the slice of pie and whether or not it “really is too large for just one person Angie.”

Then maybe Peggy’d smile at her.

Gosh golly Peggy has a nice smile. The kind that just warms a girl up from toe to top.

The Iron and the Spark by lilacsigil

Pairing: Kate Kane/Maggie Sawyer
Plot: Oh, it’s an Elementary/Batwoman crossover, all right.

“I want to hire you to find a missing person. I’m coming to private detectives instead of the police because this needs to be done with absolute secrecy.” Bette looked her age for a moment as she leaned forward and emphasised the last two words.

Sherlock stuck out two fingers and spoke briskly. “On two conditions: firstly, if this missing person is engaged in conduct harmful to others we must not be constrained from notifying authorities. Secondly, if this missing person is in imminent danger of his or her life we must not be constrained from enlisting the help of whoever may be able to save him or her.”

Bette thought for a moment. “Okay. Does that go for both of you?”

“Miss Watson is training at my directive,” Sherlock said as if that was the end of it, but Bette kept her eyes on Joan.

“Yes, it goes for both of us,” Joan told her. She hadn’t failed to notice that Sherlock had specified “conduct harmful to others” rather than “criminal conduct”. He must already have some idea about Bette, though Joan wasn’t sure what.

“It’s my cousin, Kate Kane. I last saw her on Friday night and it’s Monday now, and we’re pretty close. We talk a lot.”

If You Keep Me Next to You by presentpathos

Pairing: Kate Kane/Renee Montoya
Plot: A Batwoman/Question one-shot.

Kate slowed and pulled over as soon as soon as the she saw the lights flashing behind her. Fifty-two in a thirty-five didn’t seem like a hanging offence at this hour of the night, or was it morning? She fumbled around in the glove box for the registration, fished her license out of her pocket and stared straight ahead.

“Yes, I know it’s posted, it’s thirty-five. I was doing all of like, forty. You trying to make your quota?” she asked. She was in the wrong and she knew it, but it wasn’t going to stop her from arguing.

“I clocked you doing fifty-two, ma’am. License and registration please.” It was a hell of a voice.

Kate passed her IDs over the door without looking and continued to belabour her innocence. “No, I wasn’t, I was not— I was doing forty, tops.”

When she finally looked up at the cop that belonged to that voice, she immediately reconsidered her tack. It’s the uniform, Kate thought. Women in uniforms were her kryptonite. It’s why she never would have made it in the service. Too many capable women in too many uniforms.

“Uh-huh,” said the cop as she glanced over her license for a few seconds before continuing. “Have you been drinking this evening, Miss, uh, Kate?”

The cop was so buttoned down that Kate could hardly help herself.

“Why, you offering to buy me one?”

“I’m just,” said the cop, blushing furiously, “maybe some other time.”

“When?”

The Scheme of Things by QuickYoke

Pairing: Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli
Plot: “Angie manages to cross the pond to England during the last years of the War. But she soon finds that helping with the war effort isn’t all that cracked up to be.”

After cleaning everything off and tightening the wire connections as best she could given the current circumstances, Angie dropped the hood with a clang and waved as she made her way around the car. Lady-Officer turned the key as Angie slid into the passenger seat, and the engine purred to life.

“There!” Angie smiled broadly, ineffectually wiping water from her cheeks with her forearms – the only part of her that was clean in any shape or form, “All better!”

Lady-Officer scowled at the muck Angie’s overalls were imprinting on the genuine leather seats. Immediately Angie felt that this whole good Samaritan thing was overrated. She should have just left her in the rain and gone to her own quarters down the road.

For a moment they sat together in silence while the car idled, rain hammering against the rooftop, Lady-Officer’s once fastidious curls limp and dripping. Cherry red nails dug into her palms around the steering wheel as Lady-Officer clenched her hands. Finally she said, stiff, “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Angie breathed into her cold wet hands in a vain attempt to warm them, “I should go. Enjoy your evening, English.”

Without a backward glance Angie clambered out back into the rain and slammed the door shut behind her, sprinting for cover. Once she was safely beneath the hangar eaves once more, she did look back. The car was still there. Then it pulled smoothly away and drove off into the night, tail lights vanishing behind heavy sheets of rain.

this is no modern romance by stitchingatthecircuitboard

Pairing: Kate Kane/Renee Montoya
Plot: A Kate/Renee drabble about Kate and Renee’s DADT-induced breakup.

The call comes in the middle of the night. It always does. Renée wakes with a groan, fumbles out of the blankets, and picks it up.

“Montoya here,” she says.

Silence on the other end, which is how she knows it’s not Gordon or Bullock, not even Helena; GCPD would barely wait for her to answer the phone before filling her in, and Helena would tease a moment to make sure she was awake before launching into the latest case details. But now, there’s nothing, and that wakes Renée up more effectively than any murder ever could.

She waits, quiet, evens her breathing. Other times, other places she’d chalk it up to a misdial, a prank call, but this is Gotham City, and there’s no such thing as coincidence.

“Don’t hang up,” the caller says, and Renée nearly does on instinct because everything associated with that voice is marked a very firm do not enter.

“Please,” Kate Kane says; “please, Renée.”

Renée closes her eyes. “What do you want, Kate?”

Dry Bones by Medie

Pairing: Kate Kane/Maggie Sawyer
Plot: Kate meets Maggie and falls so in love.

The change is just what the doctor ordered. She likes Gotham. She shouldn’t, but she does. It’s gritty, hard, and the adjustment is more difficult than she would have imagined. There’s a lot living in Metropolis has made her forget.

Metropolis isn’t the shining beacon of perfection the tourist bureau would have people to believe, but it’s easier to be out there. Easier to be safe with someone like Superman a cry for help away. She’s seen the population stats, but she didn’t need them to know that Metropolis has a higher percentage of gay and lesbian citizens than any other city in the country.

The irony amuses her in a twisted sort of way. She can feel the tension at work, knows that Montoya is seeing even more of it than she is, and sees it for herself when she and Toby go out.

Or did.

The break-up isn’t easy, but reporters in Gotham are a different animal than their Metropolis counterparts. Maggie knows it’s over long before Toby gets a job offer from the Daily Planet.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, but even she knows it doesn’t hurt the way it should and maybe that’s why almost no one in the MCU even notices the absence of Toby’s name on Maggie’s lips.

Montoya, she thinks, notices, but to her credit, also says nothing. Instead, she seems to open up, become more willing to ask Maggie questions about being a gay cop (and, worse, a female gay cop.)

of the rocks and the nails by Medie

Pairing: Kate Kane/Maggie Sawyer

Plot: “Four times Kate lied to Maggie and the one lie Maggie is always telling Kate.”

It’s not something she thought of, going in. She should have, Kate knows that now, but she didn’t. She can’t even say she thought it was impossible. She just didn’t think about it. It wasn’t on the radar.

Then there was Renee and, Renee had been drawn into Kate’s world. She wasn’t ready, she thinks. Not like she is now. She wishes there were someone to talk to about this, but Batman doesn’t seem the type for heart to hearts and neither is she.

Still, she has a feeling Batman’s solved this particular problem by avoiding it entirely (rumors about the Justice League aside) and that isn’t possible for her. She reminds herself that Maggie isn’t Renee and whatever happens, it will be different this time.

With Maggie standing in her kitchen, skin sleep-warm and tempting, Kate finds herself in the unwanted position of doubting that when Maggie’s fingers ghost over her shoulder and the bruise left bare by her robe. Her eyes fix on Kate’s face and Kate’s stomach sinks.

“This isn’t from last night, is it?” Maggie asks. “This looks about three days old.” Kate remembers the fight, slamming her shoulder, but it’s the realization that this is just the first unexplained bruise. If her career as Batwoman is anything like the Batman’s, it will be joined by many more like it. And that’s if she’s lucky.

“I’ve taken up boxing again.” The lie falls easily from her lips. She’s prepared for this, she’s done this before, but that doesn’t stop the rush of guilt or the fear as she waits for Maggie’s reaction. She tries not to fidget, not to give anything away to the detective standing before her.

Living Arrangements by Netgirl_y2k

Pairing: Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli
Plot: Sometimes you fall in love with your roommate. It happens. There’s nothing you can do to stop it.

By the time someday rolls around, Angie is living in a broom closet under the 3rd Avenue El.

As far as Miss Fry had been concerned, inviting a wanted criminal and traitor to stay at the Griffith was almost as bad as trying to sneak a man above the lobby.

At least Angie had gotten out without having to listen to the Houdini speech again.

There’s no room to swing a cat in Angie’s new place, and what furniture there is ain’t nothing she wants to invite Peggy Carter to sit on, so they stand awkwardly just inside the door.

“How d’you find me, Peg?” Angie asks.

Miriam didn’t exactly ask for a forwarding address, and even if she had, Angie can’t imagine her handing it over to Peggy.

“I have my sources,” says Peggy, a flash of satisfaction crossing her face.

“I bet you do, English.”

“Angie–” Peggy looks around the apartment in dismay “–you shouldn’t be living somewhere like this.”

“Aw, Peg, it’s not so bad…” Angie is about to say that between the automat and the audition carousel she’s riding she’s hardly ever home anyway, when Peggy interrupts: “You should come and stay with me.”

Starting this week, Fan Fiction Friday will run biweekly instead of weekly. I’ve got some exciting projects I’m working on for you, and I need the extra time to get them finished up! So, I will see you in two weeks when we shake down the best Buffy fan fiction!

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