Upstairs, Lauren and Amy wipe lentil vomit from their bathtub while Lauren explains why she’s gotta lose her V-Card tonight to Tommy, even though he’s a jerk. She dumped Theo, Lizbeth has already had sex, and if she doesn’t have sex with Tommy this very evening, she will probably die alone. The good news is that we all die alone, so.
Listen to me real close, missy: I don’t want any toxic triclosan-containing cleaning products on my porcelain tub. This is a GREEN bathroom, okay?
Shit has quickly gotten out of hand at this particular party. Felix is killing it at Beer Pong. Liam bumps into Karma and spills beer all over her shirt. Apparently she’s not wearing a bra ’cause the chest-area of her body situation remains censored for the remainder of the party. Amy finds Felix, apologizes that they had to skip out on Scary Movie 4: Lesbians Sleeping With Men, and Felix says he’s not like all those other Sons of the Principal. He’s a Cool Son of the Principal. So Felix and Amy agree to spend the evening mocking their brethren, but Felix’s first pick — that girl dancing on the table, a cautionary tale — turns out to be Karma! And thus, Amy leaves Felix for Karma for the 18th time since the beginning of their two-day quasi-relationship.
I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKEDD ITTTTTT
OH FUCCKKKK SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW OFFENSIVE THAT SONG IS TO ACTUAL LESBIANS
Why arrereoufreaingking outttt, implores Karma to her dear friend Amy who is Just Trying to Help Her. It’s just nihijipples! Everybody has ’em! FREE THE NIPPLE! Karma reminds Amy of earlier that morning when Amy said that she didn’t think Karma was the “type of girl” who’d have a threesome. By “remind” I mean that Karma yells “What, you think I’m not that kind of girl!!?” Karma tells Amy she didn’t ask for her help and Amy can just leave her alone. Because Amy is wholly incapable of not freaking out about this situation, Karma’s basically just asked Amy to handle her freakout privately, maybe in another room.
Karma I’m so sorry to tell you this but I think your fly is unzipped
Amy catches up with Felix and says they can get back to her fave activity of making fun of people! It’s only a matter of time before she invites him over to hate-watch The Lizzie McGuire Movie and eat Chubby Hubby out of the container.
Felix: You wanna hang with me now? You see that’s probably not a good idea because I’m drunk and I’m bound to say something stupid like how much I like you—
Amy: I like you too.
Felix: Yeah but you see it’s not the same, you know, because ever since Prom all I can think about is our kiss but all you seem to think about is Karma.
Amy: Felix, that’s not true —
Oh I’m sorry, does nobody drink White Russians anymore? What do you want, huh? Malibu and Coke?
But before Amy can continue, Liam rushes in and yanks her aside to talk about what else? KARMA. She’s out of control! She’s a maniac, a maniac on the floor
And she’s dancing like she’s never danced before! Amy asks if this night could possibly get any worse, which is the universally recognized queue for this night to get worse: Wade shows up with a generic-looking wavy-haired blonde he calls “Honeybear.”
Well well well, what have we here
Babe, is that the really terrible installation artist you were talking about on our way over?
Amy and Liam berate him for showing up here after having a threesome with Karma and Shane. Honestly I’ve got no idea why that would make it inappropriate for him to attend a party at which they’re both in attendance, but let’s roll with it. Nobody’s called in a noise complaint either, so I’m already living in a weird space of uncertainty w/r/t realism regarding this episode. Wade says the threesome didn’t happen, but Liam and Amy don’t believe that for one second! After all, their eminently trustworthy best friends assured them that it did indeed happen, and that’s all the evidence they need!
Wade’s story goes a little different: Wade told Karma and Shane to kiss, and the two struggled to even get their cheeks in the same geographical area.
Is it just me or is somebody cooking brussels sprouts in here
…and amid this struggle, Wade announced I CAN’T DO THIS! I WAS JUST DOING THIS TO PROVE I’M OVER MY EX BUT CLEARLY I’M NOT.
I’m sorry, I tried to get over everything I’ve read about you in the Autostraddle recaps but I just can’t go through with it, I’m petrified of what you’ll say about me when it’s all over!
If only he’d known that everybody was just doing it to get over their ex! Alas, so now Wade has reunited with said ex, she thinks it’s romantic that he ditched a threesome for her, and here we are.
Lauren, the toppiest top in Topsville, yanks Tommy upstairs to her room and throws him on the bed, declaring it officially Time To Have Sex. Tommy can’t, though. He just can’t. Lauren doesn’t understand — he’d always begged her to have sex before… and then it dawns upon her: everything changed when he found out she was intersex.
I’m sorry! I masturbated in an apple pie like in the movies and now I have a yeast infection
Lauren: You planned this whole party just to avoid having sex with me?
Tommy: I’m sorry, I’m just a little freaked out.
Lauren: Because I’m a freak?
Oh, Tommy. Oh, dear dear terrible awful very bad no good Tommy! I would serve up a “we were rooting for you!” gif but the truth is none of us were rooting for you. We didn’t like you before, and now we like you even less. It’s time for you to go home. Also, Tommy, it’s Intersex Awareness Day! Maybe you should go educate yourself and then decide if you deserve to walk the same gorgeous green earth as Lauren Cooper, Inventor of Lauren Cooper Junior Prom and Esteemed Student Government Official.
I wish this show had a more positive message on today of all days
So she pushes him on the bed, stomps out the door, slams it, barrels down the stairs and announces, hoarse and angry and in true Lauren Cooper Style that THIS PARTY IS OVER. Nobody cares.
Liam’s furious at Shane for lying about the threesome, but Shane says he only did it ’cause Liam was gonna sleep with Sasha. But Liam was only gonna sleep with Sasha because Karma was gonna sleep with Shane. So basically it’d be best for everybody if they could all agree that they are terrible, petty, hopeless people, and go start a home improvement show where they accidentally hit each other with hammers.
You had your jaw wired shut? Really??!
ERRRRRRRRRRR
Shane says Liam sleeping with Sasha would be way worse than him sleeping with Karma! Really though? I feel like your friend’s siblings aren’t totally off-limits, but maybe I live in some weird ethical borderland of sin and despair (although for the record I have never dated a friend’s sibling!). Sleeping with your best friend’s ex for no reason besides spite and vengence, though? Yeah, that’s legitimately awful.
Shane: Just goes to show, you can never trust a Booker.
Liam: Hey, you know how you’re always wondering if you’re a bad person? You are.
Oh, so it turns out that Sasha’s ex Jake lived within a three-minute radius of Blue Oasis all ths time, ’cause just then he shows up with Sasha ready to kick Liam Booker’s ass.
Don’t blow my cover I didn’t want to tell him about Emily so I told him I slept with you instead just play it cool
Liam tells Jake he only slept with Sasha to piss off Shane! That doesn’t help much, it just makes Sasha as bloodthirsty as her boyfriend — but luckily Shane picked up some MMA from his ex, and stops Jake in his tracks with some fancy arm move only strong people on TV can do.
That’s right folks, I’ll be here all night
Liam thanks Shane for having his back and Shane says he doesn’t have his back, and Liam can find somewhere else to sleep tonight. SO THERE.
Back out at the Laguna Pool of Texas Twilight Danceparty Eveningswell, Karma’s chugging beer using a popular method that gives me really bad frat party flashbacks when Amy shows up.
MMMMM NATTY LIGHT, THE NECTAR OF THE GODS
Karma calls Amy “Mom” and says she’s not interested in being scolded. And as for the threesome, Karma says, who cares that she lied about it? It’s not like Karma is grilling Amy about whether or not she broke my heart by buttering her biscuit with Felix! (Don’t worry, there was no biscuit-buttering.) Then Lauren Cooper kills the electricty and yells at everybody to GTFO of her pool party, because Lauren Cooper. Nobody leaves, including Karmy:
Amy: Do you have a crush on Felix, is that what this is about?
Karma: What? NO!
Amy: You started acting weird after I asked him to prom.
[pause]
Karma: I thought he asked you.
Well, this is awkward.
Karma: So did you really want to go to prom with him or did you just not wanna go with me?
Amy: Both.
Karma: Typical Amy. Can’t make up her mind!
Karma gesticulates so wildly to demonstrate the act of Amy being unable to make up her mind that she promptly falls backwards into the pool.
That’s what you get for not wearing Crocs when you go running on a slippery surface!
It’s funny for a second and then it becomes scary ’cause Karma just hangs out down there for a while until Amy dives in to rescue her mermaid. Karma rises to the surface, and then Amy. Nobody’s paying attention to them or to Lauren, and they’re only paying attention to each other, drenched and gasping.
Yeah, sure, sometimes I pee in the pool, but I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal
“I’m sorry,” says Karma. “That last thing I said was a low blow.”
“I’m sorry too,” Amy says. “I just don’t understand what’s going on with you.”
“Well, that makes two of us,” says Karma, a little drunk still.
“MAYBE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH AMY!” I yell at the television set while hurling gummy bears at the screen.
But if you want me to stop peeing in the pool, I will. I’d do anything for you.
“You’re moving on and so is Liam, and I’m still here, sad, lonely, homeless Karma,” Karma says. She’s doing that thing we do, that unfair stupid thing, where we feel so lonely and hopeless that we blow everybody else’s happiness up into this big thing that it isn’t: Liam hooked up with Sasha. Amy and Felix went on one tepid date and get along okay. Neither of them have “moved on.” They’re just… alive, dipping their toes into the very earliest beginning of a potential thing and neither of those things are even going all that well, really. But forget all that, Karma’s sad and this is the story she’s telling about it. This is what feels true to her because she is young and the world is small and she’s lonely.
“I didn’t want to be her anymore,” she continues. “I thought that I would be ‘Karma who dates bi guys and has threesomes and gets drunk at parties!'”
“You left out ‘shows everyone her nipples,'” Amy responds.
“That part was oddly freeing,” Karma admits.
But Karma has never wanted to be Karma! She didn’t want to be unpopular Karma so she decided to be lesbian Karma but then she wanted to be Liam’s Karma but then she didn’t want to be Liam’s Karma and then she said she was gonna get a new haircut but she never did.
“Look, I know things are hard for you right now,” says her best best friend Amy, “but I just don’t understand why you’re always trying to be someone else when the real you is so fantastic.”
“Well, when you say it I almost believe it,” says wet wet Karma.
“Then I’ll keep saying it,” says Amy.
“Thank you,” I say to Amy. “Because I probably never will, but I trust you, it’s cool.”
“You’re the best friend ever,” says Karma to Amy, and they hug. And, then, as they release from the hug, Karma goes in for it, like for a real kiss, and then, as it so often goes when one person kisses another who wants very much to be kissed, she kisses her back, and this goes on for a brief moment.
Nope no feelings
Oh man, that moment when the straight girl kisses you like it was her g-ddamn idea. That moment.
Nope nobody it into this not nope
…and then the lights go on.
C’mon we didn’t invite the Lesbian Synchronized Swimming Team to this party just to watch you tread water and stare at us
But we forgot our routine
Everybody’s watching — Lauren, Shane, Liam, mouths appropriately agape / aghast — I mean, all things being fair, it is Liam who is The Most Aghast—
WAIT DID I MISS THE GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION
— and some extra goes “Yo, they’re back together!” and when Karma realizes all eyes are on her she gives a party whoop and swims off, leaving Amy caught in the headlights in a pool in her own backyard.
Oh yeah that was me who ordered the pizza, one sec lemme get my wallet
Good news: Felix got home in time for curfew! Also, he drove his car into a fire hydrant.
Ooof the weather got so weird all of a sudden
Next week is the Faking It finale! Maybe we’ll find out if Felix is gonna get a new car or if he’s gonna have to just ride his bike everywhere. Maybe we’ll catch up with some old friends!
Unfortunately this is not yet another threesome plot
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I sort of feel like Faking It is an art piece on the futility of trying to figure out What Is Even Going On with that one straight girl.
Riese, I want to thank you so much for these recaps. Lauren is my favorite character on a TV show that I can’t watch because I don’t get the channel right now. She’s fits right in with Santana Lopez and Mellie Grant in the Mean and Bossy Femmes That Secretly Have a Really Big Heart category that I love so much. And your recaps let me see what’s going on in her life and cry for her when things like this happen.
Can we just make this the Lauren show? Please? I mean, I feel like she is having the sexuality/identity struggles that I’m actually interested in.
I actually don’t mind the Felix/Amy plot.
I’m finding Karma a lot more bareable in 2B.
I have never watched this show, and probably never will, but I very much enjoy reading your recaps.
Same.
thanks y’all!
I cackled.
I can’t tell if I’m invested in these characters for who they are, or if I’m invested for the potential of who they could be and how your recaps reflect that.
SAME!
I am enjoying this season of Karma Tries To Figure Her Shit Out. She’s more tolerable this way, when we get to see the insecurities leading to her insane behavior.
Too bad Liam didn’t drown in the pool, he is not growing on me at all. Especially not when the show is trying to let him of all people be the voice of reason/moral center. Jesus take the wheel, I cannot with this. I cannot.
Someone should make a petition to the showrunners to kill off Liam.
Or would that be too mean?… Nah!
I don’t think Felix/Amy deserve all the hate. Yes it is frustrating that the writers seem to refuse to let Amy be happy with a woman, and feel the need to stick her with a guy. But especially after the show’s actual, real, acknowledgement of bisexuality last week, it’s possible they are actually going in the direction of Amy being bi/pan/etc. Which would be great in terms of representation, and explain Amy’s consistent reluctance to label herself a lesbian. On the other hand it’s unfortunate that the show only portrays Amy, who is still likely questioning her sexuality, and Reagan, a biphobic lesbian whose viewpoint unfortunately reflects a lot of straight and queer folks’. It would be nice to see a strong lesbian character who does not date men, who is open-minded and fully supports people of all sexualities.
hm, but despite acknowledging bisexuality, they still miss the opportunity to actually represent it. if amy is supposed to be bisexual (or pan or) with wade they now have two non-monosexual characters and yet none of them seems to end up in a same sex relationship. if they still want that amy/felix thing happen, they could at least have made wade´s ex a male person. (also doesn´t the whole bisexual person initiating a threesome because of confused feelings, then changing their mind thing play into existing stereotypes?)
also, riese, as many here before i have to say how much i enjoy reading your recaps, although currently not watching the show!
But they don’t want the Amy/Felix thing to happen Amy spent the whole time talking about Karma even Felix said so
It’s not like everything’s fine as long as a marginalized sexuality gets acknowledged on a show. I’m all for bisexual characters (more people for me to identify with!), but Amy reads like a lesbian. And Amy’s story arc on Faking it would NOT be a good representation of a bi woman. That’s what I think anyway.
Amy comes off as very, very gay to me (whether that’s a product of writing or Rita Volk’s acting, I’m not sure), but she’s also 16 and is still in the process of figuring it all out. I don’t really have a problem with Felix, cause it seems very unlikely that he and Amy are really going anywhere romantically as she’s still totally in love with Karma, and I know many women who now identify as lesbians who were still experimenting with dating guys at 16.
Karma seems like a much better candidate for the much-needed bisexual character, though it’s also very possible that she’s mostly straight and just really gay for Amy. Which doesn’t disqualify her potential bisexuality in any way, I just don’t see her dating other women besides Amy. Cause she’s so obviously head over heels in love with her.
“Karma seems like a much better candidate for the much-needed bisexual character.”
Yup, I agree 100%
*chorus of heavenly angels*
I finally caught up with the show and the recaps! This season has been interesting. I hope next season Karma figures herself out
Are we supposed to really consider Felix a viable candidate for Amy’s heart? She seems to ditch him at the first opportunity to go running after Karma and her latest crisis. She showed more interest in Reagan and even then Karma was still her first priority. Now they are having Karma and Amy kissing again. I mean, come on. They are going to drag this Karmy shit out through the whole series so I can’t take any of Amy’s love interests seriously until they can convince me that she still isn’t in love with Karma.
she needs a new viable love interest! WHERE ARE THE QUEER WOMEN AT THIS SCHOOL. kim eventually got saint on sugar rush, fiona eventually got imogen on degrassi…
Love these recaps. So much going on. Can’t they just find like one lesbian at all anywhere in Texas for Amy? I saw a lot of parallels between this and yesterday’s article on other TV lesbian kisses.
They’re in Austin. Of all the places in Texas where you could find a lesbian, Austin is #1.
As a very big appreciator of BOUNDARIES this messy-edged friendship with kissing and crushes just gives me so much anxiety. Friends are friends! Straight girls are straight! Don’t date your friends who are straight girls! End of story!
The name “Sharma” seems really close to either “shart” or “charmin,” which is entirely appropriate since that whole scenario is full of shit anyway.
I feel compelled to write a comment for the first time in my life to announce to anyone who will listen that I feel like Faking It is harassing me.
I have a sinking feeling, as this show progresses, that Amy and Karma will not end up together in any romantic capacity. What was I thinking? Hoping that would actually happen? Really, though.
And I don’t mean forever! I mean ever. For a moment. For more than an episode.
I realize this is a show about high schoolers, and, having been a high schooler, I recognize that one’s identity at this age is continuing to change at a rapid rate. To ask for any kind of boundary drawing would be antithetical both to the age of these characters, and to the project of television drama.
I am supportive of Amy’s evolving sexuality. And of Karma’s.
However. I feel like I’m in a sad universe in which executives at a major TV network approved a show featuring two women as leads, only to manipulate their friendship into something occasionally romantic for the sake of Faking It’s plot so that we are left (as queer women or otherwise), with any kind of lesbian behavior only as a narrative tool.
Maybe I would even rather they just be great friends. If Faking It can’t bring itself to portray queer women with any kind of happiness or success for longer than a three episode mini-arc, then can we at least have some really successful, platonic romance?
I really don’t want Faking It to be one gigantic practice in queer-baiting, but I have the sneaking suspicion that at the end, Shane will be happy with some great guy, Lauren will be happy with some great guy, Liam Booker will ascend to acceptance and love most likely of himself, Karma will find happiness and success with someone other than Amy, and Amy will look onto this scene with wistful grin, glad that her predilection for the female sex has allowed everyone else to find it in them to come to terms with themselves.
Grey areas are great, and extremely productive. But I feel like all the female characters I looked to as a teenager to provide some guidance for what a successful, and happy queer life look like were not present in exchange for the dramatization of a grey space. This lack of positive portrayals of queer women caused turmoil in my personal identity for longer than it should have. This lack continues to make it difficult for my relatives to imagine what a successful relationship might look like for me. Sexuality, regardless of gender, is fluid. But why are straight couples allowed to settle, while lesbians are left to faking it?
And don’t get me started with Regan. I can’t with her.
This episode’s kiss isn’t fair. This is a personal statement, and in no way a means to discount any of the other character’s experience. But like, this show is breaking my heart one episode at a time.
Let everyone have love that isn’t a secret, and isn’t a lie. This can be dramatized. I promise. Have you ever gosh-dang seen Friends?!
You know what. I probably just want some good ole’ Paige and Alex. Take me back to Canada, land where I’ve never been!
While I wish this was my official resignation from watching this show, I did watch all of season six of the L Word, and most movies on Netflix in the Gay & Lesbian category including but not limited to A Perfect Ending and Room in Rome, so let’s be real. It might be bait, but it’s bait I’m clearly starving for.
I agree with every golden word. You need to comment more often!!
“Sexuality, regardless of gender, is fluid.”
That I can’t agree with. My sexuality is not fluid. You can only say that about yourself, you can’t claim you know other people’s sexualities. Claiming that sexuality is fluid as a general rule is the same as insisting that we are all bisexual, which frankly, sounds exactly like some of the things homophobes say about gay people, erasing us because they can’t imagine that anyone can be different than them.
Goodness, that was not my intention at all.
I did not mean to insist that anyones sexuality was a general rule. Nor that everyone is bisexual?
I meant to insist the opposite–and commend Faking It for portraying queer characters in the midst of questioning their identities. In other words, a general appreciation for portraying queer characters in all states of identity making.
Apologies.
Every time I see the pool photo on Twitter/here I can’t help thinking that the writers must’ve been having some Cruel Intentions nostalgia.
Elaine Atwell’s recap on AfterEllen presented another scenario that resonated with me so deeply it made me go “WHAT” to myself.
It is possible that Karma is into Amy. It is also possible that Karma loves Amy deeply as her best friend and is into the version of herself that she can see in Amy’s eyes.
Having done this with multiple boys throughout my life (loving them deeply as close friends with very slippy boundaries between friendship and romantic/sexual interaction), I am kind of embarrassed because in general I find Karma annoying. But nope, in this scenario I am definitely her.
Aw, this was a very good post. Taking the time and actual effort to make
a top notch article… but what can I say… I put things off a lot and never manage to
get nearly anything done.