Because life is nonstop melancholy, Anthony’s gone all-out turning the art warehouse broom closet room into like a flea market / romantic bistro for Lauren to have prom the way she deserves to — with Anthony looking spiffy in a white suit, a salvaged record player, and lots of twinkly lights.
Holy shit how much money did you spend on twinkling lights?
Well I took my Mom’s advice and went to that IKEA shop she’s always talking about.
Lauren’s awed and inspired but more importantly, has a Promageddon to deal with. She rushes out, leaving Anthony alone with all his gold lame and impressive decorating skills.
Karma takes matters/Wade into her own hand, Bachelor-style, pulling her date aside for some one-on-one time.
When we break eye contact and I rub the top of your hand, you will be under my spell. You will remember that you are a loving caring person who respects others. You respect for others is a reflection of the respect you show for yourself. Your respect for me will show in the way you dance with me and not with Shane. You respect your tongue and you will keep it in my mouth and not on Shane’s mouth. Now come with me.
Liam drinks virgin punch in front of an Under The Sea shower curtain, glowering at Karma like Titan watching his daughter walking around with Eric on her FANCY LEGS.
Mhm. Yes. Just gently graze my derrière. Yes sir. Mhm.
Sasha and Liam do another round of flirting / not flirting.
Stop looking at me like that, I told you that I’m not A.
Liam convinces Shane to go get his guy back because he doesn’t want Wade to be with Karma.
Look I’m just sick of coming to these adopt-a-fish-or-sea-mammal events and then having you reject every dolphin I fall in love with!
Shane proposes a threesome. “Just ’cause I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I wanna have sex with both genders at once,” says Wade! Butttt, also, Shane is hot and Karma is hot and so maybe just this once he’s willing to crunch into a handful of red hots and really live his best/worst life. Why not?
Hey have you been able to find a copy of the Nashville Grizzlies 2016 fundraising calendar?
No! And I mean, last year’s “rolling around in the mud” theme was hot, but I hear they’re gonna be “freshening up in the locker room” for 2016 and I cannot WAIT to get my hands on it!
What’s happening
Welp, Amy and Liam will tell their best buddies why not! Liam and Amy present identical cases Against the Threesome to Shane and Karma, respectively. Amy doubts Karma’s insistence that Shane’s just playing chicken and Liam doubts Shane’s that Karma’s gonna bail at the last minute, as has been her way in prior orchestrated threesomes.
Stop talking about the Gilmore Girls revival, you know I’ve never seen that show!
Liam is particularly opposed to Shane boning Karma or being in the vicinity of anybody boning Karma, which inspires Shane to re-iterate his opposition to Liam boning Sasha, which Liam promises is not a thing.
How am I not supposed to feel insecure when every time we go out together you spend the whole night looking at Teen Wolf gifs on tumblr?
Meanwhile, the sweet sweet skeleton that Liam took to prom hangs out in their suit, alone and adrift in this sad sad world. The good news is that Mary Lambert is here, she’s queer, and she’s signing a song at Lauren Junior Sea Beast Prom. Mary Lambert would be the best thing to ever happen at any prom, anywhere, since “Just Say Yo,” The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air prom episode in which Carlton takes uppers instead of vitamins and does the running man a lot. (Heather interviewed Mary Lambert last weekend and it’s adorable and you need to read it)
I wanna be where the people are, I wanna see, wanna see them DANCING!
Apparently Baldwin High got the Lauren Junior Prom decorations and Hester got their Under the Sea decorations, and I mean, I’d like to see how that’s playing out at Baldwin but hey! Tommy learned how to dance and wants to take her for a spin!
Ta-DA!
Tommy wanted tonight to be perfect, after all — which just reminds Lauren about that other perfect night hanging out in the warehouse with twinkly lights.
Heh heh heh you know I always win the staring contest
Liam, as we all knew he would, takes Sasha behind a conch shell for some tongue-twisters.
Alright FINE I’ll show you my Lego Castle, but you’re gonna be jealous!
Meanwhile, Felix waits nervously for Amy, who shows up with shrimp-pops. Felix says this was a mistake — not the shrimp-pops (although certainly those were also a mistake), but this date, this going to prom with Amy thing! ‘Cause he actually likes her and it seems like the feeling isn’t mutual, and maybe it’s ’cause she’s not ready to date or maybe it’s a rebound thing or she doesn’t like guys or maybe AW FUCK IT then Amy just goes ahead and kisses him right on the mouth.
welp
Reader. Oh, reader. How do I begin to tell this tale? This tale that has been told so many times before, this tale as old as time, this song as old as Ryan Murphy, Beauty and the Boy. Must I summon the ghosts of tales long gone by? The ghosts of Emily Fitch and Tea Marvelli? Well, here’s this: I wrote a few paragraphs about lesbian and bisexual representation on television and ret-conning and annoying tropes… but my rant didn’t quite fit, and the reason it didn’t fit is twofold.
1. My primary complaint doesn’t require a few paragraphs, because it can be summed up thusly: this is boring storytelling and it doesn’t say anything new and it has been done. On this show, even, already! We’re only in Season Two! There are so many stories left to be told — like, JUST AN IDEA, there being, oh, I don’t know, another lesbian or bisexual woman at this school? Like maybe just ONE OTHER LESBIAN OR BISEXUAL WOMAN in this ENTIRE SCHOOL? IN THIS ENTIRE G-DFORSAKEN SCHOOL IN AUSTIN LIBERAL BLUE OASIS IN THE HEART OF RED BLOOD BEATING STILL NOT ONE LESBIAN???
2. Maybe Rita Volk and Katie Stevens have gone rogue but the story being told right now is the Karmy story and Rita is playing Amy as a lesbian and Katie is playing Karma as bisexual and Rita is playing Felix as a person Amy can kiss instead of Karma. She likes his company, like she liked Oliver’s company, too. This is supposed to be a story about a girl who’s not sure about her sexuality, but from here it looks like a story about a girl who’s not sure about how to smash her feelings for her best friend — and apparently boys are the only humans in the general vicinity willing to distract her from that ache. Especially when she’s just found out that Karma’s gonna go have a random threesome. She probably doesn’t like boys, but she’s not ruling it out. She probably wouldn’t rule out a root canal or The Holy Land Experience if she thought it’d help her forget about Karma for one second. And, to return to “1,” I just wish they had a more creative and less historically overdone method of telling this story.
I don’t think Amy wants Felix to be her boyfriend and Karma to be her best friend. I think she wants Karma to be her girlfriend and Felix to be her best friend.
Karma is appalled to see Amy’s lips on Felix, just appalled! When Karma was all wrapped up in Liam, she practically hurled Amy into Reagan’s arms or the arms of any boy Amy didn’t throw up on, but now that she’s single, she wants Amy all to herself again, you know? Shane says they’ve got more pressing matters to attend to…
What does she think she’s doing? She’s supposed to pine after me in a sexless stupor for the rest of our lives on this planet!
…like walking right by where Liam and Sasha are sucking face.
She was about to fall! I had to catch her! I’m saving lives here, bro!
Now that both of Karma’s love interests are hooking up with tertiary characters and Shane’s sister is making it rain with Shane’s best friend, the twosome are even more determined to make this threesome happen. And Wade, like everybody who enters the lives of these ethically questionable humans, is about to be stuck in the middle of two people doing things for lots of reasons that used to be about him but really aren’t anymore.
At least Anthony and Lauren are living their best lives — but not for long, as Lauren’s gotta return to 10,000 Leagues Under the Deep Blue Sea and real life, the kind of life that doesn’t happen in five-minute intervals.
You can’t possibly need all of the twinkly lights for yourself! I don’t see why we can’t split them!
Anthony says it’s okay, they won’t have to keep their love a secret forever ’cause she’ll graduate in two years and then it’ll be okay! But Lauren can’t wait that long. She’s tired of keeping secrets, even for Anthony.
Lauren: “As much as I love you. either we go public, or —”
Anthony: “You know I can’t do that. I’ll lose my job.”
Well, this is a night to remember for all the wrong reasons, eh?
Back at Free Willy Prom, Mary Lambert announces the prom king and queen — it’s the pig and the ficcus! I had a feeling they’d take it this year. Felix and Amy laugh uproariously.
I’m so happy to be here today to speak to you about queer identity and what inspires me to be a beacon of kindness and beauty on this planet —
Yo, Mary, I’m really happy for you, I’m gonna let you finish —
But “Twilight” had the best prom scene of all time
Karma informs Amy that a sleepover at Chez Fawcett is her cover story for the Very Important Threesome she’s about to attend, and then scolds Amy for kissing Felix after Karma specifically instructed her not to lead him on. Karma keeps changing her mind about which sexual orientation she wants Amy to have! Amy scolds Karma for letting go of her magical prom dreams in favor of a threesome with “two guys who are into each other.”
Okay, fine, you can touch my boobs
Karma turns to go and Amy, just like that, comes out with “I FORBID YOU.” Y’all. Amy. Says. I FORBID YOU! She opens her mouth and the words that come out are these words:
I FORBID YOU.
It’s amazing. It’s desperate and illogical and transparent, but Amy panics and this is her best idea on short notice for stopping this thing from happening.
Karma: You FORBID ME?
Amy: (unsure) Uh-huh.
C’mon, can’t we just swing through Kentucky Fried Chicken on the way home?
FINE, BUT THIS TIME WE’RE GETTING EXTRA CRISPY
Karma: What RIGHT do you have to FORBID ANYTHING? You get to happy with Felix, Liam gets to be happy — when is it my turn?
Okay wow. Hold up. Karma Ashcroft! Liam wanted to be your boyfriend, and you said no. Amy wanted to be your girlfriend, and you said no. I mean, first you fucked with them a little bit, and then a little bit more, and then you said no. And then you said yes, and then you said no, and then you said yes. Again, and again.
Hey how can we get this chick to smile, huh?
Amy asks Felix to take her home and Liam goes home with Sasha, who is a terrible dance chaperone.
Out of the sea… wish I could be…
Part of that worlddddd….
Wade leads his two nightmare dates to the hotel room, where they have last-minute panics and then promise to leave the lights off.
Look I was doing a lot of crafting in here earlier so I’m just gonna clean up some of my double-sided tape and y’all can come right in!
THE END!
Next week on Faking It, Karma and Shane will lie about their threesome and all will be revealed! If anybody in your house stuffed their head in a bowl of cream-of-wheat earlier in this episode, you can tell them to come out now, it’s over!
Pages: 1 2See entire article on one page
Meanwhile, lord and savior Emily Fitch, hangs her head in disappointment. And rage. But like, adorable rage, since she’s a majestic red-haired squirrel pony.
Well, that was depressing just to read about. Think I need to unsubscribe from my Amazon tv pass now.
Seriously though, has MTV done okay with any scripted show it’s done in recent years? I know there was a big hubbub about their version of Skins, but I haven’t really seen any of their other shows (being old). Is there anything queer in Teen Wolf or was there anything in Awkward? Are all of their shows as shiny plastic-hued as Faking It?
US Skins was a travesty… i haven’t watched any of their other new shows honestly besides this one. i think i aged out?
LOL is it possible to age out of MTV without aging out of ABC Family? I mean whatever you crazy kids are calling it these days?
Freeheld? Formtree? Hashtag F something?
Finding Carter got off to a promising start but has already fallen apart completely (and was yet another show aimed at teens that portrays teen/adult authority figure sexual relationships as hot and fun).
“I know there was a big hubbub about their version of Skin”
Yeah, they turned gay guy from original UK Skins into confident out and proud gay girl, only to make her fall for a boy and have sex with him numerous times.
Is there any MTV show that treats lesbians with respect?
Teen wolf had gay boys, but they were very tertiary. I stopped watching a while ago though so idk how they’re doing. But the plot lines on that show were a tangled mess by the time I gave up.
lolololol this was great. I feel you really strongly on the idea that the actors are playing Amy and Karma as lesbian and bisexual respectively. I hope to hell that the plot reflects this, but fear in my heart of hearts that it won’t. In which case I will descend into a pit of rage and misery, but no doubt will appreciate these glorious recaps yet more. I maybe need to be a tiny bit less invested, haha.
How could it be any more evident that they “de-gayed” (I use the term because they promised Amy to be lesbian and as turns out, they lied) Amy officially for good already?
On AE Carter said in a podcast that we will find out this season whether Amy is Kinsey 2.5 or 5 and stressed out that “Sexual Hulk” moment from previous season and the fact her body reacts to men sexually. So she has sexual attraction to men, and therefore the only way she could (barely) count as Kinsey 5 would be if she had absolutely no emotional feelings for them.
And this episode confirmed that she has emotional feelings for men. The writers even said on Twitter that “they have unique connection”, and called their scene together as “Subversive & funny & romantic!”
WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO MAKE AMY AND FELIX HAPPEN
why
why
why
whyyyyy
why
I am not sure that subversive means what the writers think it means.
Or romantic.
Maybe these writers are writers who don’t know words.
Great recap. It’s always sad when the recaps of a show are more entertaining than the actual episodes but what can you do.
I honestly don’t know if Katie is playing Karma as bisexual or if Karma is simply so used to being the center of Amy’s universe that she’s having trouble with the idea of that changing.
Amy is 100% gay tho and having the writers insist that she isn’t is dragging the show. Half of everything to do with Amy’s character seems fake and awkward these days but according to the writers her and Felix were supposed to come off as romantic? Uh-huh…
The episode was uninspired all around. The bi guy is totally not a stereotype but just like last week, he’s gonna walk right into the stereotype just this once anyway.
The ladies everywhere are still all over Liam’s D. Lauren and her cop was probably supposed to be dramatic but given how they literally broke up so Theo wouldn’t go to jail because of their relationship that kinda fell flat.
Random observation #1:
This show was supposed to be about queer girls and there wasnt ONE lesbian couple at prom? Even on the devil show glee it was at east easy to spot Brittana background cuddles. On Faking It you don’t even get background moments from extras these days because the entire prom population was straight. Such a waste.
Observation #2:
The show about queer girls with a f/f relationship front and center did once again not pass the Bechdel test because the
leads were too busy talking about boys. Sad, sad days…
This show was supposed to be about queer girls and there wasnt ONE lesbian couple at prom?
YES THANK YOU EXACTLY YES. THANK YOU SO MUCH YES THIS.
this was the thought that kept going over and over in my head. like seriously? really?
i’ve also been confused about the lack of queer women at that school since last season, when no real lesbians expressed righteous outage about the fake lesbians. like fake lesbians were apparently the only kind of lesbians the school had ever seen?
also i agree with everything you said. amy’s gay, they need to just cut to it. i don’t know if karma is bisexual or if she’s doing that thing that straight girls have done to gay girls in high school for years where that possessive high school friendship thing just gets amped up by the fact that one of them has a crush on the other and the straight girl can play into it to win loyalty overall. but karma keeps claiming to be aware that she shouldn’t be messing with amy’s feelings, only to once again mess with amy’s feelings?
A year ago, I would have said, Karma is bisexual but at this point, I honestly don’t know anymore.
I guess I’m just disappointed and disillusioned overall because given the premise of the show and the reassurances from the writers I thought I’d see some positive lesbian representation or at least positive portrayals of relationships between girls.
Instead, the only lesbian character gets written off as intolerant and biphobic while the straight guy is deliberately shown to be super sweet and open-minded about the same issues.
Amy, who basically screams LESBIAN and who lots of lesbians heavily identified with in the beginning, is spending half this season reminding people she’s into guys before starting the most boring and cliché romance with the most boring straight, white guy.
Karma keeps teasing Amy and the viewers by acting as ambiguous as possible while constantly repeating how straight she is. Sometimes even getting whole episodes where she is being celebrated for it.
I tuned in to see queer girls and stories/characters that usually aren’t front and center but this episode alone featured around 5 or 6 hetero hook-ups while the last genuine, non-faked affection between girls was ages ago. So much for celebrating the “unique relationship between girls” as Carter once put it…
Signed in just to love this whole comment as a good articulation why I stopped watching.
Riese, you have exactly summed up my feelings about this show and its broken promises. So much RRRRGHH right now.
Reading these recaps makes me feel so much better about all the feelings I’m having tho! So that’s good.
I’ve just realized how extraordinarily meta it is that Faking It faked having a lesbian character to try to become popular. It’s almost impressive.
This is brilliant
Omg. I want to tweet that to the writers.
The writers room actually has an official twitter! I’m tweeting them these recaps from now on. https://twitter.com/FakingItWriters
This show would be so much better if Felix just replaced Liam as the only Straight Cis White Guy on this show (since we couldn’t possibly not have one), he dated Lauren, Wade leaves to date Duke and recover from their personal victimization by Shane Harvey, and then that leaves Karma and Amy as two single gal pals.
I… liked this episode. I don’t know, maybe because I know someone who is Felix. Or maybe because I’m a (very very very very) good audience. Or maybe because I’m so in love with Karma ? It’s one of my favorite characters on TV right now (with Callie Fosters Jacob), because she’s so… Teenager/realistic. Anyway, it was funny to watch, because I was “look, Karma is sexy. Look, Felix is cute. Look, this episode is cool” and my girlfriend was “Can’t you see that this is insulting/lazy/horrible writing ?” and she was really desperate of me at the end of the episode.
(and Karma is sexy)
As a bi teenage girl myself, it bothers me that you’re upset about Amy “sliding down the Kinsey scale.” Bi women are constantly told that we’re not queer enough, that we’re actually just straight girls who thought a celebrity was hot once or faking our attraction to women to attract straight guys. Most gay-positive media is just as biphobic and sapphobic as straight media, so being angry about bi women possibly gaining more representation – hell, maybe even decent representation eventually – is really hurtful to us.
Go watch Orange Is The New Black. Or The Fosters. Or any other lesbian show that erases the possibility of bisexuality or just outright hates bi women. Because I’m really tired of lesbians shitting on women like me, as Riese did in this article.