But before we can dwell too long, FAMOUS SUPER POP ICON STARS I’VE NEVER HEARD OF FIFTH HARMONY take the stage to perform a rousing rendition of The New Kids On The Block’s “The Right Stuff.” Honestly I performed this song for my Mom on my futon in 1990 and it was way better than this. They’re much better singers and dancers than me though, so I’ll give them that.
Amy: A girl band that performs vintage boy band covers? That’s pretty cool.
Lauren: That’s pretty loud.
Lauren goes off to find ibuprofen while Shane scores real DRUGS from a DRUG DEALER and brings them over to Amy. Shane insists that despite typically being strictly “an herbal man,” he’s pushing drug pills tonight because this drug pill might break Amy out of her “rut.” Amy’s doubtful.
It’s a magical bean, okay? I had to become a wizard and fight eight goblins to get this so just take it, okay?
Shane’s holding the pill with an open palm in a crowded club so I already wanna scream but then suddenly Lauren shows up, sees the pill, goes “oh great, you found one!” and pops it, thinking it’s ibuprofen! This is gonna be like when I accidentally took a Ritalin instead of an Ambien and couldn’t figure out why I was up all night.
LAUREN DON’T SWALLOW THE MAGIC BEANS WE NEED TO SAVE THEM TO FIGHT THE GIANT
Back at the art show, an “art blogger” is telling Liam she’d love to feature his work, which she thinks is about “guilt.”
Have you ever heard of Jodi Lerner? Your work is just so reminiscent of her mixed-media sculpture-related explorations, I truly believe you’d have so much to learn from each other.
Then Karma pops up and he introduces her to the “art blogger” but he still can’t say the word “girlfriend.” So he says “wife” instead. This is why we shouldn’t be giving straight people special rights.
Back at The Underground Party, Lauren IS HAVING A BLAST. She’s got her blazer off, she’s got her dancing shoes off but her dancing body on, she’s got her candy necklace on, she’s got a candy pacifier hanging out ALL up in her mouth, it is PARTY TIME.
I JUST GAVE A BLOW JOB TO A PUSH-POP AND IT WAS AWESOME
Also, she’s thirsty as hell and wants to tell Amy and Shane for the 15th time just how much she truly loves them!
OMG Lauren you can’t slap my ass in public that’s just for private time
Reagan’s beckoning Amy to the DJ booth and Shane’s encouraging her to hit it up, but Amy says she’s not feeling it.
C’mon, come up here and give the kids at home a nice lesbian storyline to curl up next to
Shane’s had enough:
Shane: Just admit it, part of you wants Karma to storm in here and grab you and say “I wanna be with you and I don’t care who knows it!”
Amy: I have put those feelings behind me!
Shane: Okay, if that’s the case then get back up to that DJ booth!
Amy: You said tonight was about having friends with friends. You’re my friend! Lauren’s my friend when she’s on ecstasy!
You guys, Lauren is A. It’s official. Because LAUREN HEARS EVERYTHING. Including that thing Amy just said about Lauren being on ecstasy, which sends Lauren and her pacifier into the coat room, clutching parkas in fear.
Lauren: How long does this last? Am I a drug addict? What if I get arrested and they take away all my pageant crowns and I’ll never be the second female president! YOU TWO ARE THE WORST!
At first I thought the stripes went better with my necklace, but now I honestly don’t know!
Shane tells Lauren that she needs to return to her happy place and step into the light. Lauren decides to stay in the coat room like B613. Then Karma calls again, this time to tell Amy that Liam just called her his wife! What does that mean? What should she do?
Seriously Karma, you just have to stop reading the comments.
Amy’s got an idea for what Karma should do: stop talking to Amy about this shit ’cause she can’t handle it. Anyways, Amy’s at a super cool party so she wishes Karma MAZEL TOV on her wedding and hangs the fuck up. FINALLY.
But it’s not fair! They can just hop onto my blog and say things about me that aren’t even true and I’m just supposed to stand here and take it?
Then Amy climbs up to the DJ booth. With all the social grace of, well, Amy, Amy introduces herself gamely with a “Can I have your number I think we should go out.”
Hi I want to have sex with you are you busy
Like so many lesbian DJs on television before her, Reagan puts her special DJ headphones on Amy as a gesture of affection. Does Jennifer Tilly read lesbian erotica into Lesbian DJ Headphones? What magic happens when a DJ puts her headphones on the head of a prospective paramour? I can only dream.
Here, now you’ll never have to hear a man speak ever again
Meanwhile, our dearest most perfect Lauren is falling into pieces in a pile of coats worrying that her drug-induced jaw grind is gonna make her develop a manly jaw.
Dear yellow track jacket, I loved you most of all
Then, Theo finally calls, and Lauren picks up because even in a moment of duress she is a WOMAN who knows her WORTH, DAMMIT. Lauren has some choice words for Theo:
Lauren: The very last thing I should be doing right now is talking to you but I’m not about to let you get away with calling me on a Friday night when you probably thought you could skate by with leaving a voice mail and not actually have to talk to me since all you do is avoid me and you’re being super confusing and I can’t deal with this right now because my friends drugged me and I’m 95% sure I’m dying.
Theo is like WAIT WHAT WHERE ARE YOU YOU’RE ON DRUGS WHAT HAPPENED. Looks like somebody besides Yvonne is gonna save the day today!
I can’t believe you took ecstasy without me! We always said we’d never do it unless it was with each other!
Back at The Art Show, Liam accidentally wanders into somebody’s art piece, which consists of a guy asking him the same question over and over again. Liam tells the artist that he thought he feared commitment, but what if he’s really just feeling guilt, like the art blogger said?
Wait, you’re the guy from the bathhouse, right?
Will Liam ever be able to say that Karma is his girlfriend? Welp, apparently he can say the word to the artist but not to Karma, so maybe Karma needs to spell out the word “girlfriend” using pixie sticks and cardboard swords and then we’ll be in business.
Karma: If you can’t say it, then maybe your mouth knows what your brain doesn’t want to admit.
Look this girl is super into me even though originally I only wanted to sleep with her ’cause I thought she was a lesbian! Dreams really do come true!
Karma and Liam’s heart-to-heart is happening right in front of the art, so everybody thinks they are the art and they clap at the end of Karma and LIam’s fight! Karma clears that up:
Karma: WE ARE NOT THE ART.
Wait, was everybody looking at me when I was showing Liam how one of my breasts is bigger than the other ?
Liam tells Karma that he wants to make it work, but is worried that he can’t because he is a bad person. He said that. I didn’t say it, he said it! They kiss and hook pinkies or something.
Okay I promise to never go nipple clamp shopping without you again
Theo rescues Lauren from her Palace of Coats. She says his voice is so velvety it’s like the ocean! Also, she wants him to admit that he likes her, so he does. Then he carries her out of the party on his back and it’s kinda adorable.
Hello? Are you the magical dragon who has come to retrieve me from my palace of coats?
Meanwhile how is anybody gonna find their coats. Also why are there so many coats at a party in AUSTIN TEXAS? Regardless, Amy’s chilling with the sexy DJ, hopefully plotting to blow up the joint with some Amy Grant.
That’s right, I’m up here with a hot girl who’s already got her Rodeoh on
Well played.
Duke keeps sending Shane sexy pics and finally Shane is like OK I’LL COME OVER.
This is also a great way to get me NOT to come over
Alas, we’re unable to witness whatever happens next with Amy and Reagan because the world is a cold dark place. Instead, we cut straight to Amy and Karma in separate beds in their tank tops and necklaces having Girl Talk on the phonepiece.
What if I just wrote back like two sentences that made it clear the commenter was wrong without making it seem like I cared too much?
Amy and Karma make up and then Amy tells Karma that she met a girl and the girl is a DJ and she is 19 and Karma is INTO IT. FRIENDS FOREVER!
The good news is that next week they’re going to actually make out, which means you’ve all been spared the rant I was about to go into about how everybody except Amy gets to make out. I can’t wait to find out if Amy knows how to move her limbs and kiss at the same time!
http://youtu.be/gMgKXy1oNoU
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“Have you ever heard of Jodi Lerner? Your work is just so reminiscent of her mixed-media sculpture-related explorations, I truly believe you’d have so much to learn from each other.”
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
This show though. Thank god for Lauren. I’m still going to complain that it’s taking til episode 7 of the second season to get Amy some decent make-out time.
Literally, almost every episode I cry for Amy’s life except this one. It’s a nice change to see Amy finally “meet” Reagan. Damn, she’s hot.
And cheers for Lauren.
Hands down Lauren was the best part of this episode. A-dorable.
MAKE OUT AT LAST!!!! (almost…)
My predictions for next episode:
– Karma will see Amy & Reagan together and realize how shallow her relationship with Liam is.
– Karma will be jealous of Amy’s affection for Reagan.
– Karma will vie with Reagan for Amy’s attention. She’ll attempt to show how much better she is for Amy with things like the epi-pen.
– Liam will be jealous of Karma’s jealousy.
YES!
GET IT GIRL, GET SOME REAGAN MACKING!
I can’t process anything else about this episode other than Lauren’s outfit in the beginning of the party reminds me of Sherilyn Fenn in Two Moon Junction.
Lauren on ecstasy is my favourite kind of TV.
A+ grey gardens reference
BLESS YOU
Lauren is definitely my fave. Also I’m sooooo not here for Liam and Karma taking up screen time. Show, you promised us gay. Bring us gay.
I somehow missed the promo clip of Fifth Harmony so when the first notes of “The Right Stuff” started I flailed so hard I almost dropped my laptop on the floor. Then I realized that these kids would not have even been born yet when that song came out, like not nearly. And NKOTB is officially vintage now, I guess? I am so old.
Also: Amy is 16, right? And Reagan is 19. Is this a problem? I mean, I briefly dated a 17-year-old when I was 19. But I read an article once about terrible homophobic parents who pressed statutory rape charges against their teenage daughter’s 18/19yo girlfriend. And I think technically, under the law, they had a case. I can’t remember what happened with it though. (Not that I think anything like this would happen on the show, but in general – do y’all feel differently about the age thing when it’s two women?)
On another site someone looked this up. Texas has a Romeo/Juliet law that allows people within three years of each other to have a sexual/romantic relationship.
Thanks for the info! I can now rest easy that two fictional characters can legally date each other. ;)
Unfortunately I think that only applies to opposite-gender couples; Texas specifically has a stipulation that the two people cannot be prohibited from marrying each other in order for the Romeo/Juliet defense to apply, and gay marriage is banned in Texas. Probably not for very long – you know it’s only a matter of time – but as of right now, a sexual relationship between Amy and Reagan would indeed be illegal. A homophobic parent could definitely take advantage of that loophole.
Knowing Covington he’s totally going to use it for “groundbreaking” finale.
I feel differently about the age thing when it’s between two women, honestly? maybe because i know a lot of people who had relationships with women over 18 when they were under 18… but also i knew a lot of 16-year-old girls with 18 or 19-year-old boyfriends when i was in high school, too, and nobody found it odd. i thought 16 was the age of consent? (okay i looked it up and in texas it’s 17, but it’s 16 in 31 other states)
but i also feel like age is less of a factor in general between two women, partially because there aren’t as many lesbians out there to choose from to begin with, but also ’cause the correspondence between our age and the stage of life we’re in is a little weaker than it is for straight people.
Lauren is amazing!!!! I really want to know what Theo’s deal is. He has a secret and I can’t wait to find out what it is.
Also I can’t wait for more Reamy! *sigh* your first real girl hook up who is a person who is also really attracted to girls and not just messing with your head. It’s a beautiful thing.
i kinda want theo’s thing to be that he’s a trans man
I had this thought too!
Once I was out with this girl I had a girl crush on and we went to the second hand music store to thrift some never-heard-of-indie albums.
At some point she was digging some synth-alternative-pop-new-age band and she said : “Here try!” and she put the headphones on my head.
Forget nipple clips, I have a headphones fetish.
“here now you’ll never have to hear a man speak ever again”
lololololol
I’m really trying to understand why there was no post with cats and kittens in tiny costumes for National Cat Day…I’m a little disappointed and don’t know where else to air my grievances :)
So Rita is oficially bactracking now from her words that Amy is lesbian which is something she and Covington talked about and they “don’t want people to feel like they can relate to this vulnerable process that she’s going through, and they can relate to this girl because she’s a lesbian and then have that taken away, like, “Oh, never mind, you know, I’m into guys now.””
Interviewer: Amy is clearly on a journey of discovery. At this point, she may not know where she falls on the spectrum. But do you think she might decide she’s bisexual and identify as such? There’s so little representation for bisexual people.
Rita Volk: That’s a great question. It’s important that you bring it up because we have this tendency, when something is not known to us, to either push it away or define it. There are two extremes and there’s no middle ground. Throughout this process people either wanted to label her as straight because she slept with Liam, and lesbian girls don’t do that. Or, she’s automatically gay, and you can’t say that either because she doesn’t know. So, the word bi doesn’t really come up, but absolutely. I think that’s definitely a possibility and that’s really rooted in reality. I know some people that have known since they were however young that, “I’m a lesbian, or I’m gay. I knew that I had these feelings since a very young age.”
But then, some people don’t know. It takes them a while to figure it out. The whole concept of bisexual — I think that’s definitely a possibility. And I don’t know. I’m just exploring this character as much as everybody else is, so we’ll see. If that’s what she is then I think that makes sense
http://www.shewired.com/television/2014/10/28/exclusive-faking-its-rita-volk-female-friendships-bullying-and-bisexuality?page=full
BTW, according to GLAAD report bisexual women have only slightly less representation than lesbians. And they counted as lesbians characters that had enjoyable sex with men, like Margot from Hannibal, so in the end lesbians who aren’t sexually attracted to men have very little representation.
I agree. A show that pretends to positively portray queer teenagers can’t have a truly gay female character… :/
Whoa, back up. Did you mean to say that the only people who are “truly gay” are those who never HD sex with the opposite gender?
(I mean, I’m also sick as shit of the “lesbian sleeps with a dude” storyline… But yeahhh.)
I can’t speak for Natalie, but I just wanted to say that after Amy saying (after being showed to be clearly sexually attracted to Brazilian guy) that guys make her body react against her brain and turn her into “sexual Hulk”, and Covington confirming that was the reason why she had sex with Liam, unless you want to argue that lesbians crave sex with men, yeah, she’s not gay.
It has nothing to do with sleeping with Liam on itself. Rita Volk initially provided more or less convincing explanations that didn’t involve sexual attraction to men, but it’s all in the past. Now we know beyond doubt Amy is sexually attracted to Liam and guys in general.
So it’s hard to call it positive representation when we’ve been gaybaited and lied to, and considering that the show with main premise of girls faking being lesbian for popularity didn’t bother to give us lesbian lead.
Yeah, but a lot of that is sort of not-actually-representing-bisexual-women. Like, a girl being bi for the sake of male fantasy (as I feel many bi female characters are), is not what I’d call representation.
Though, even being bisexual, I’m getting a bit tired of every lesbian character ever having a fling or sleeping with a guy…
There are so many screencaps in this recap that I would class as Junior Mint Imperative (JMI), yet no mention. What do these poor kids have to do to get someone to chuck a miniature, chocolate-enveloped mint treat into their mouths?
soo random observation:
Lauren seems to have the same shitty attitude she always has had, but now it’s cool and awesome because she’s intersex?
nahhh.
It’s cool and awesome because she’s got great comedic timing and is genuinely a funny character. I don’t think people are suddenly seeing her as some kind of perfect being – she’s got depth now, and she’s funny as hell as the “complicated antagonist”.
Bailey the best actor on the show by a long shot. I know that’s what I respond to – you’re right that her comedic timing is great. I also thinking viewers enjoy ‘mean’ jokes. That’s why so many people also love Shane just as much, and he’s done/said plenty of crap too.
This episode made me outraged because it was a Friday night and Amy said she still had time to catch Colbert. COLBERT IS ON MONDAYS-THURSDAYS.
It’s like MTV doesn’t have a fact checker. HOW DARE THEY.
My boycott starts right now.
‘When I had my first boyfriend it was more like I got my first car and I knew it was a stick when I got it and I can’t drive stick but I got it anyway and then was like, damn, I can only go like ten feet in this car.’
This comment made my whole week. Thank you :)
Amy is being so selfish. That’s what friends do. They talk about their boyfriends/girlfriends to each other. It would be different if Amy complained about Karma ruining her night with all of those calls, but she didn’t. She said she couldn’t “handle it.” She told Karma she was okay and wanted to go back to the way things were. We, as viewers, know she was lying, but Karma didn’t. Instead of blaming Karma for everything, she should just talk to her.
I think that it would be better for Karma to find a straight
friend who’s not in love with her to talk about the Liam
drama. I’m pretty sure that would solve the problem. I’ve
had straight girl crushes and had to keep from rolling my
eyes everytime they talked about their bf’s.
Uh, and Karma is not being selfish? Karma knows Amy would do ANYTHING for her, and she keeps using that to comfort herself. Amy might not be the best at being honest with Karma, but I think friends should do better than simply listen to what the other person is saying. Sometimes you need to think for yourself when it comes to protecting your friend’s feelings. If one of my friends admitted to being in love with me, I sure as hell wouldn’t spend the next couple of weeks putting all of my dramatic love crap on their lap, no matter if they claimed to be ok with it.
For the record, I am a DJ and I have never ever in my life taken my headphones off my head to put on a cute girl’s head. Maybe that’s why I am single? Or more likely, maybe that’s why I am actually a good DJ. :P
I’m finally catching up on the rest of this season, so I’m really late with this comment. But I just had to say that Karma’s outfit at the art show was totally giving me vibes of Princess Fiona from Shrek, with the green dress and the braided red hair.
Every PLL reference in the Faking it recaps makes me smile.