Back in Karma’s bedroom, she’s crawling through the balls like a ravenous beast in a lilac dress Jenna Von Oy sold on eBay in the Blossom Memorabilia corner. Amy’s like, well, why don’t we just call Erma and ask her what it said? Karma’s surprised Amy has Irma’s number but Amy reminds her that before last season, Erma was their only friend. GOTCHA. I wish they were calling my Grandma, Erma Jean, because Erma Jean would talk some sense into these girls right quick.
Karma for the last time these aren’t giant bath beads and soaking your hands in them won’t give you softer skin
Hence, Karma must admit the letter was from Liam, and Amy must admit she’s known all along and has been using it as a butt warmer.
Karma: You had it? I can’t believe you kept this from me.
Amy: Well, now you know how it feels. Today was supposed to be about us, but here he is, Liam Booker, just when I thought we’d moved past all that.
Karma: Are you serious? We just spent four hours revisiting our past!
Here, take it, I think the anthrax was giving my butt a rash anyhow
Karma insist they’re not banging behind Amy’s back, as Amy suspects, and exclaims “I CHOSE YOU!”
Amy: Chose me? What the hell are you talking about?
Karma: I knew I couldn’t be with Liam and keep our friendship so I chose you.
Amy: Well, it doesn’t feel that way.
Karma: What more do I have to do to prove it to you, Amy?
Karma rips up the letter and huffs out of the room. This is not going how Amazing Amy had decided it would go two years ago when she started planning this plan, y’all.
Back at Chez Fawcett, Farrah’s shocked to find Amazing Amy looking so glum and home so early from Karma’s Birthday Scavenger Hunt! Amy admits they had a nasty quarrel.
Well, I guess I’ll just have to save this You Do You pin for her next birthday
Farrah: Was it a friends fight or a “more than friends” fight?
Amy: Mom, Karma loves guys.
Farrah: And you?
Amy: I love Karma. That’s the whole problem.
Farrah: Oh honey, I once fell for a guy who shall we say didn’t catch me. Hurt like a bitch.
Amy: How’d you get over it?
Farrah: I bought new boobs, which helped, but mainly it just took time, and I had to give up my fantasy of us being together. Want me to set up a consultation with my plastic surgeon?
Amy declines the offer. I would’ve been like YES NEW TEETH NOW PLEASE.
Oh you’re right, that IS a scary face! Well done, baby!
Back at Mixed Marital Aristry of the Riverdance, Duke is dry humping Shane while barking about chokeholds or something while Lauren’s drilling Liam on what exactly Theo knows about her secret. Liam’s not said a word. Then Lauren demands Liam flirt with her to make Theo jealous, but he refuses, insisting that lies and schemes are THE WORST.
Liam: You’re lucky that the only thing standing in the way of you and what you want is you.
That’s real.
Come on let me just see what size cock ring you wear!
Meanwhile, Duke is teaching the children how to wrestle people and also how to have gay sex. Shane is serving as his all-too-willing volunteer sparring partner.
Duke: Now when you find yourself on all fours and a guy is coming at you from behind —
No I’M the bossy bottom!
Shane tries dirty-talking Duke as they wrestle, making gay innuendo regarding Duke’s alleged grindr profile, even going so far as to pull down the corner of Duke’s pants to locate the tattoo Shane knows he has. BUT IT’S NOT THERE. Theo wins the bet!
On the backlot of Kids Incorporated, Amy and Karma have reunited for the final stop on the scavenger hunt: two dollhouses representing where Karma and Amy will live when they’re all grown up! IT’S NOT CREEPY AT ALL.
To be honest I’d always imagined myself in more of a like, by-the-lake cabin-style home, but this is a really interesting take on the proposal
Amy feels guilty for trying to manipulate the day away from Liam’s Manmeat and towards her balls and tea leaves and unicorns and dollhouses. She also says she now realizes that they probably will be living in their houses with other people, like when Amy marries one of the readers of this recap and Karma marries Oliver.
Amy: I should’ve never kept that note from you. I’ll be honest, part of me wants to keep you all to myself. But another part of me wants to see you happy. It’s a real struggle in here! The good side won out.
Amy hands Karma her last clue — it’s Liam’s note, all taped back together! Isn’t that nice. Actually she has an even bigger, more gelatinous surprise for Karma — it’s Liam himself!
Wait a second, these are the same girls I tried to have a threesome with last time. Damn you, craigslist.
Amy: Look, you two are clearly crazy about each other for whatever reason and you can’t stop your feelings any more than I can stop mine. The only thing keeping you apart is me. So I’m getting out of the way.
Amy, teary, says that if you love something, you have to set it free, and she is so sad, and Karma is so sadhappy. Now Liam and Karma can look at each other’s faceplates and smash their lips into each others lips and be happy together forever, full of feelings and tongue!
blaaaaaahhh
Lauren is like hey Theo, what’s up, do you like me, and he’s like, um, yeah, I do, except, um, what, and then Lauren is like, FUCK THIS SHIT and kisses him. YOU GO LAUREN YOU SEIZE THAT CROWN. They kiss but then Theo says he has to go but doesn’t tell her why.
Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets
I think I know why but that’s only ’cause I already read like three pages of the finale script so I’m gonna keep it to myself.
Back at Chez Fawcett, Amy is sitting on her couch doing nothing, which’s totally unrealistic, she would be drinking Fireball out of a coffee mug, watching the Shane/Cherie scene from the Season One finale, reading the Best Breakup Advice You’ll Ever Get and crying softly into a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Then Karma shows up and says there’s only 15 minutes left in her birthday and she wants to spend them with Amy ’cause her and Liam made a date for Friday night so whatever!
C’mon admit it, you’re still looking forward to our nightly mutual masturbation ritual
There is one last present! Amy, who seemingly never has homework, spent many hours at the very same claw game at the arcade that sucked their savings dry circa age 13 and finally won the coveted Best Friends necklace!
This will totally match my nipple clamps!
It’s actually really sweet. But how do they move on from this, you know? How can Amy recover from having to fess up that she wanted her feelings for Karma to stop Karma and Liam from being together? Regardless of sexual orientation, that is some awkward shit for friends to go through.
Outside the MMA Fighting Workshop, Shane apologizes to Duke for mistaking him for that guy on the sex app.
I mean, just between you and me, MMA is fine but I’ve always dreamed of being a milkman
Shane: I just wanted to apologize, you know, what I did was uncalled for.
Duke: You know even if I was gay, what you did was completely out of line.
Shane: You’re right, you’re so totally right.
Duke: So are you.
Duke then pulls down the other side of his pants, revealing the secret dragon tattoo that unlocks the kingdom to his homosexuality — “the bathroom mirror flipped the image.” So Shane WAS right, he did recognize Duke from the app.
What can I say, I was 18 and I loved opium
Duke isn’t out, though, so they’ll have to keep this secret a secret. But when Duke goes in for the makeout, Shane recoils, insisting that he can’t date people are in the closet. Duke’s like, we are not gonna date, I’m just gonna blow you! And then he does, and SCENE.
What a happy ending!
Next week, an all-girl band will be singing boy-band classics, so that’s something. Hopefully it will end what is now a three-episode losing streak for this particular program.
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I loved the abuse of Amazing Amy references in this recap… Did someone just watch Gone Girl?
And yes, this may all look nice from the outside, but I can feel it being a ticking clock from the inside. That mid-season trailer didn’t help either!!
Haha no, I haven’t seen the movie yet! But I have read the book and I mean, a scavenger hunt run by Amy? THE PARALLELS ABOUND
I know! Kept thinking the same thing while watching the episode!
I avoided the book to keep the first time twist experience as clean as possible… but I read her Dark Places, so I trust this woman.
I would like to say if I put that much effort into my bffs birthday and she treated me like Karma did to Amy I would be pissed. We would no longer be friends after that!
On another note is the DJ from the preview hot waitress chick from Liam’s parents party? I hope so! There definitely needs to be more of her.
YES yes it is
I can’t like this revelation enough.
As someone who owns no TV and wouldn’t watch TV even if someone gave me one, I live through your recaps.
Don’t ask. I’d rather read the adventure while staring at poor quality screencaps than live the full experience on a large HD screen.
Yeah, Karma could have acted way nicer, but Amy’s behaviour was not nice either? If she’d just let Karma read Liam’s card, the whole day would have been a lot more enjoyable for the both of them.
Fingers crossed for some Reagan(?)/Amy action in the next few episodes.
Did you guys see the mid-season trailer? It looks good! (at least better than these last few episodes..)
Also, I vote for sending away Karma and Liam and keep Hot Duke and HOT WAITRESS.
That trailer does look promising. I just hope that the second half actually delivers some women loving/focused action because I’m a bit sick of waiting for this show to deliver queer women action – we’ve had all angst with none of the fun.
“we’ve had all angst with none of the fun.”
word
And a stiff-bodied kiss, guys! It must count for something? When we were 14 it counted!
I second getting rid of Karma and Liam and keeping HOT Duke and HOT waitress chick!
TBH it looks like shameless Karmy fans baiting – that ending scene which looks like Karma just ate Amy, which most likely is from two different scenes and if not – it could mean Amy fantasizes about Karma while having sex with Regan (the same pillow as when they kissed), which would insinuate that she can enjoy sex with men on its own, but she can only enjoy doing it with a woman if she’s imagining the person she loves.
Karma was monumentally frustrating. And Amy made me cry with her “if you love something set it free” speech. Gah, this show. I did like that Amy’s mum at least tried to acknowledge her, and also Lauren is increasingly wonderful.
yes i feel like farrah is softening and lauren is really growing on me, maybe because she’s getting more and more vulnerable and rounded out
Dude, the last few episodes of Faking It have been soooo dead. Nothing has happened! Shit, Shane has gotten so much gay action. And, none for Amy. That’s why Lauren is my favorite right now. I love her facial expressions and her HBIC attitude and also her frenemyship with Shane. I was sad for her in this episode. :(
Oh jeez what is Theo’s deal gonna be I hope it’s not super random/actually makes sense/is a logical reason for someone to run away from a makeout. There are so few reasons to run away from a makeout.
Oh Shane you sweet summerchild you didn’t know that MMA is just kinky, kinky soft core porn with no kissing.
I’m loving Lauren’s ponytail.
But the hell was with this birthday party thing? Where’s Reagan?
Wait, is that actually what happened at the end of the episode??? The video suddenly flickered while I was watching it online with my sis, so we jumped from abs guy leaning in to Shane’s face in the final shot. We just assumed they kissed and then abs guy left. I’m glad I didn’t witness the full scene with my sister.
I didn’t even get to see the Lauren and Theo kiss nor did i get
to see Amy give Karma that necklace, or the MMA guy and Shane
in the Alley. I was watching the regular way on Mtv @ 9:30 CST.
“I think I know why but that’s only ’cause I already read like three pages of the finale script so I’m gonna keep it to myself.”
UM COULD YOU….. NOT TEASE ME LIKE THAT, MAYBE??!?!!
So last night I had the option of Faking it series 1 on British MTV or Wentworth…So I picked Wentworth…because I can read the Faking it recaps here and based on the comments they’re funnier than the actual show…and because Frankie.
RIESE HOW HAVE YOU READ THREE PAGES OF THE FAKING IT FINALE SCRIPT I MUST KNOW!???
Man this show can be so bad and yet I love it so much. And that mid-season trailer. Yoh….
Can we pleaseeeeeeee hurry up and get to the Reamy lovin????
I love Karmy but I’m ready to see Amy get into a real
realationship with a women who really wants to be with her, and
that sexy Reagan is the one. Finally some real girl on girl
kissing scenes, and not that peck on the lip crap that Karmy
engages in.