Back at the soiree, Amy’s still unable to get Liam to promise not to tell Karma, so Amy decides to yell at him and make a scene!
Let’s have a toast for the douchebags, Let’s have a toast for the assholes, Let’s have a toast for the scumbags!
Try this one, it’s poison
Yup, Amy slaps Liam in the face and tells everybody that they met at a Skorkle protest and that he slept with her best friend, finishing her performance by tossing champagne in his face.
Lemme just get that little piece of hummus off your cheek
I can’t believe I had hummus on my cheek, I’m so ashamed
AND THIS IS FOR THAT GROSS THING YOU DID WITH THE SUNTAN LOTION LAST WEEK
Look, I’d like to see Liam ground into whatever it is that goes inside chicken nuggets and served to hungry schoolchildren in the hinterlands as much as the next guy, but JESUS CHRIST AMY, there’s no excuse for humiliating somebody in front of his family and ruining somebody’s engagement party, even if it is somebody evil! That’s just manners.
And the Emmy goes to the extra in the green dress
Liam’s father wants to see him in the other room and Amy stands there, looking proud of herself for being an awful person. Also, after this scene went down, what motivation will he have to keep her secret now?
Cut back to The Audition, where Shane’s talking about watching Project Runway with his father and Margot is sleeping while sitting upright, which is a quality I really admire in an airplane seatmate.
Margot: Sorry I fell asleep and went back to 2009 when that still felt fresh. Tell me something nobody knows!
Getting a nice face tan
Shane says he’s one-quarter Filipino and struggles with it every day and she kicks him off the stage and says it’s difficult to take such trite struggles seriously when Oliver over there — who’s still wiping away his tears — showed us such real raw emotion. Ugh why didn’t we get to see Oliver’s Real Emotions? Now it’s Lauren’s turn.
Awww look at those legwarmers
Margot: You’ve got talent, Ms. Cooper, but I’m worried that you’re just another pretty blonde white girl who’s biggest struggle is whether to have a latte or a cappuchino.
Lauren: Fuck you, I’ve struggled!
Is waiting for the dunk tank
She’s about to reveal that she was born intersex when Theo drops a paint can on the ground and the sight of him dazzles her back into deciding not to tell the whole truth, instead claiming she’s a perfectionist who takes vitamins. SNOOZE.
Back at Chez Skorkle Booker, Liam’s getting yelled at by his father about ruining his sister’s engagement party. Liam says “don’t call her that,” re: “your sister,” which I think is a CLUE.
Do you have any idea how many #KARMY fans out there have you on their hit list?
Why do you think I closed my twitter account, DAD?
Dad: I have indulged this little defiant phase. Now this company needs this marriage to happen, so go out there and make things right.
Liam: And how am I supposed to do that?
Dad: You’re an artist. Be creative!
That’s like when someone gives me an idea for something we should do to make Autostraddle rich and I’m like “okay, but how could we make money with that?” and they’re like, “you’re the CEO! Be creative!”
Cut back to the theater of broken dreams, where Karma’s whining about the juice truck not making money. Margot’s unimpressed because she lived on graham crackers and slept on throw pillows for two years before getting a job on a Carnival Cruise.
Just close your eyes and pretend everybody in the audience is naked and one of them is Amy
Margot wants to know about her recent breakup.
Karma: You know, people split up! Taylor Swift pretty much said it all —
Margot: KARMA! What kind of empty life will you lead if you don’t know yourself? What can you bring to your characters? Tear off your mask!
Karma: I am heartbroken. But not for the reason everyone thinks.
WELL WELL WELL. What have we here?
She did not just say that Bethany has a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina
Karma: Okay. I know this will probably make everybody hate me, but I’m not really a lesbian.
Margot: Go on…
Karma: Someone mistook my best friend and me as a couple. It got us attention and popularity which were two things that I always wanted. I said we should go with it and Amy agreed. I made you believe that I’m somebody that I’m not and I’m sorry. I can be a really insecure person and I hate that part of who I am. I’m desperate for approval. Like me, like me, like me. ‘Cause if you like me then maybe I’ll like myself.
Margot stands up and gives some big ‘ol claps.
But we still don’t know who killed Jenny? What a devastating story!
It’s really special that Karma decided to tell these kids about her and Amy without Amy’s permission, what is wrong with everybody this episode!?!?! It’s a good thing Gossip Girl doesn’t go to this school.
Back at the Fancy Lunchtime Soiree, Amy’s offering Liam a peace donut and apologizing, but Liam tells her not to worry about it ’cause things were bad long before tonight.
Liam: A part of me admires what you did. You rocked the boat, something that I’m too chicken to do.
Really? This is what you want me to stick up my ass?
So then Liam decides to make a toast! Where’s Reagan. This shit has gone on long enough! Liam announces that he’s sorry for being a disappointment to his family and pursuing art instead of money and power, expressed with the #sorrynotsorry disposition of a person who’s never lacked access to money or power.
Liam: I guess I’m sorry for even being born.
Robin: Liam, please. Not now.
Liam: Right? MOM?
GOTCHA!
EVERYBODY GASPS! WE’RE ON MAURY!
Liam: That’s right folks. Robin my sister is really my mother. She got herself knocked up at 16 and those two? My grandparents? They got her shipped off to boarding school in Switzerland and then they raised me as their son. They’ve all been lying about it for so long that they actually now believe it. Oh! L’Chaim!
Even though I wrote “L’Chaim,” because I’m a Jew and I know what Liam was getting at and I have a chai tattooed on my thigh, he actually said “L’Haim.”
Also I’m done with this if anybody wants it
So there you have it. Liam embarrassed everybody by pronouncing a word wrong. Amy goes “great party!” and then SCENE.
Back in the auditorium Shane tells Karma that he admired her honesty earlier and wouldn’t be surprised if she wins the crown and becomes the best top princess of the ultimate drama club in the sky. Karma wants to know if they’re friends now, but Shane “wouldn’t go that far.” However, he has empathy for her and “her situation.”
Shane: But if you’re so desperate for people to like you, maybe you shouldn’t be an actress.
MMMOOOmmm just TAKE THE PICTURE ALREADY
Elsewhere in this airy auditorium, Theo tells Lauren he admires her for getting up there and signing and dancing, because he is a terrible singer/dancer.
No for real, third nipple. Right here on the breastbone. Kinda awesome, if you ask me.
Margot returns to the set, crosses the room and hangs that one special name on a chalkboard.
Top Model Challenge
AND COMPANY!
Lauren: Who the fuck is Oliver?
WHY DO CARTOON CATS WIN EVERYTHING
Back at the Engagement Party Of Every Momsister’s Dreams, Liam’s riding high on the thrill of having told everybody that his sister is really his mother. I hope he feels proud of himself for ruining her engagement party. Unfortunately I suspect he hasn’t learned the lesson he was supposed to learn, which is that revealing things other people wanna keep a secret at inopportune moments is actually just really selfish and not really something to be proud of.
WHO’S THE MAN??!
Liam says it’s a big load off his shoulders, much like the load that lifted off my shoulders when Liam clarified that his mother had been a teen Mom who got shipped off to boarding school rather than what I’d initially assumed regarding the relationship between Liam’s father and his Momsister.
Ok fine you can have the computer chip back, I don’t want Christian Grey tracking me all over town anyhow
Amy says that now she understands why honesty is so important to him. Liam tells her his sad story about how he found his birth certificate and his whole world turned upside-down. He also says that he doesn’t want Karma to “know something she can’t un-know” because he cares about her too much, which I guess means he’ll keep the secret. Amy says she feels the same way. HOW NICE WHERE’S REAGAN
You can’t have any.
Unfortunately, the episode ended there. Many questions remain unanswered, like “where’s Regan?” and “what’s up with Oliver?” and “did Amy just miss a whole day of school?”
Next week, Amy is going to pine for Karma and Karma is going to disappoint us all in our hearts:
http://youtu.be/zYHtt71Xnl4
Pages: 1 2See entire article on one page
Why did they put her in a closet with a very attractive girl and have her not even respond at all?
Seriously, she had to go talk to Liam?
I just think this show is pretty ridiculous. Faking It does have some social responsibility to not gaybait, and to portray queer characters as actually queer because of its audience in my opinion.
They show her gawking at boys, but no response to that? It seems like they’ve decided to not even portray her as at gay at all.
They’re prolonging Amy’s “I still love karma” phase which seems really forced at this point.
Last episode, she responded the same to the boy and the girl. I don’t like that she’s bi and not a lesbian, but I don’t expect her to flirt with every girl that flirts with her and it seemed to me that she did notice her, but was otherwise distracted.
Totally agree that the Karma thing feels forced, but maybe that’s just wishful thinking because I’m so totally over it but high school Amy isn’t?
She seemed to have really great chemistry with Reagan for the, like, 10 seconds they were on screen together and then I swear I have no idea what Reagan said that made Amy be like, “That’s a great idea–let me go ruin this engagement party now.”
Fingers still crossed this all turns around–and that Reagan returns–but next week looks like more moping about Karma, my favorite.
I think it was when Reagan referred to the party as a “soap opera,” and Amy became inspired to make a scene (ie the comment about winning a daytime emmy)
ohhhhh i had no idea what that was about either!
(I watched that scene like five times bc Reagan was so cute, I didn’t pick up on it the first four either)
Are you serious? Do you really have no sympathy for Liam’s character that all you see is that he spilled a secret. For one I absolutely believe it’s a secret he’s able to tell and shouldn’t have been burdened to keep as the child in the first place. The pressure and the way his family treats him is abhorrent. Money doesn’t make up for emotional hurt. That kind of privilege doesn’t just make it okay.
Sometime the writers on autostraddle come off as a bit man-hating. It’s repellent to see the stereotype perpetuated. He’s no worse character than anyone else on this over the top show.
No I absolutely think it’s a terrible secret for him to have to keep. But it’s not his moms fault, it’s his grandparents fault, so it’s kinda shitty to ruin her engagement party over it. He shouldn’t have to keep it, but there’s a time and a place for dealing with that and a party isn’t that place.
I agree, I’m getting tired of the crapping on Liam attitude. Karma is the most self-centred character in the whole show but she doesn’t get crapped on as much as Liam. Liam is still just a teenager, and to have to keep that big of a secret when everybody in your family treats like crap is horrible. Since Amy ruined the party and Liam got blamed for it anyway, why not just go all the way and let it burn? I know I would. His mother also had the responsibility to tell him the truth but she chose to keep the lie going, she’s an adult, not a teenager anymore… Personally I feel like if the author hates Liam so much, she should just stop talking about him and ignore him, ’cause the hate is becoming uncomfortable to read.
I mean, I also took Amy to task for ruining the party? I’m hyperbolic about how much I like a thing/person as much as I am about how much I dislike a thing/person.
Liam has homophobic attitudes toward lesbians and according to the show he apparently fulfilled his dream, since Amy suddenly craves men sexually now after sleeping with him.
Gee, I wonder why he isn’t popular among lesbian women and their allies…
He doesn’t seem happy about having “fulfilled his dreams”… If he was such a douche bag he would have been celebrating and shouting about it all over the school. To me he comes across as ignorant as a product of his environment.
And that’s exactly the problem – they made him a lesbophobe but they don’t portray it as a big deal. By trying to make the audience like him, without ever calling out his attitudes toward lesbians and make it clear how ignorant and damaging they are (which would be hard now, since Amy after being portrayed and gaybaited as a lesbian suddenly craves men sexually, which happened right after she had sex with Liam – so his attitudes have only been validated), they justify it.
But that’s mainly writers’ and showrunner’s fault.
“Sometime the writers on autostraddle come off as a bit man-hating. It’s repellent to see the stereotype perpetuated. He’s no worse character than anyone else on this over the top show.”
Perceiving lesbians as a “challenge” to “conquer” really isn’t according to you that bad, and disliking such character is a sign of “man-hating”??
It’s pretty obvious that he’s actually in love with Karma and doesn’t just want to “conquer” a lesbian. He even got pushed into the threesome idea, how many times exactly did we hear Liam say that all he wanted was to turn a lesbian? It seems you’ve already made up your mind to hate him so go ahead if it makes you feel better. I’m taking myself out of the equation.
Good day to you.
Gregg, do you think part of Liam’s attraction to Karma is about the fact that he thinks she’s a lesbian?
GS: Definitely. I mean, realistically, with straight guys in school, I think if you ask a bunch of guys, do they think it’s hot? They’ll say yes.
MJW: Well, it’s hot and it boosts your confidence, right?
GS: It’s like a challenge, you know? Everyone wants what they can’t have. So Karma, to me is…
MJW: I conquered the lesbian.
GS: Yeah. Conquered the lesbian. She’s mine.
BTW, I see that one of your favorite TV shows is “Sherlock”, where they made Adler a lesbian only to show how cool main character is because she couldn’t help falling in love and lust with him.
“Sometime the writers on autostraddle come off as a bit man-hating. It’s repellent to see the stereotype perpetuated.”
Tabling the misandry thing for a second, real people aren’t stereotypes. Period. But that’s not what you said, you didn’t say that Riese *was* a stereotype, you said she was *perpetuating* the stereotype — causing the stereotype to persist by confirming it in the minds of people who hold it. Stereotypes aren’t perpetuated by individual members of a group fulfilling expectations someone else has about them based on a stereotype. They are perpetuated by the people who would see those individuals as confirmation that they were correct to have those expectations, who would hold that individual up as a representative example of all members of their group.
It’s incredibly frustrating when people assume things about you that aren’t true. It’s tempting to get mad at the people who seem to be the basis for those assumptions. I’m writing this because I think it’s really important to not do that.
Picking up the misandry thing again — if someone thinks lesbians hate men, they are failing to think of lesbians as complex, complete, and distinct people. Which, obviously, is a shitty thing to do. Except it’s not obvious. “Lesbians hate men” is a belief that is common and mostly formed just by existing in society, so it’s easy to think of it like bad weather: an annoying, unavoidable fact of life. You don’t blame the sky for rain. It’s immediately apparent how lesbians who don’t hate men (and indeed think that hating men is fundamentally terrible) are wronged by the stereotype. But those who do hate men? How can you be hurt by people thinking [a thing that is true about you] is true about you? Well, for example, the varied personal and political reasons people hate men are flattened, reduced, and declared equal. People go from having a point of view to having a trait.
tl;dr Saying that autostraddle writers or anybody else perpetuate (i.e., cause or contribute to the continued existence of) the stereotype (that lesbians hate men) 1. blames people to whom a shitty thing is done and 2. fails to hold accountable the people who actually do the shitty thing.
I really, really like this comment and want to carry it onto my shoulders.
Whoa wait how did I miss that Heather Hogan was coming to Autostraddle?! THAT’S FANTASTIC NEWS. OK, now I will finish reading this recap. Thank you.
She just announced it today on her social media presences!
HEATHER HOGAN IS COMING TO AUTOSTRADDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!
I kid you not, this feels like Christmas.
This is everything that I have ever dreamed and prayed to the queer lady internet god(desses) for.
Excuse me, I’m continue to flail about my apartment now.
——————–
(It’s such big news, I just went to my bank account. Tonight I’m figuring out how to rearrange my budget and *squeeze* that Autostraddle Plus membership. It’s really time now for me to put my money where my mouth is. Love you all and the work that you do.)
!!! I KNOW THIS IS ALSO EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER DREAMED AND PRAYED TO THE QUEER LADY INTERNET GOD(DESSES) FOR TOO!!!
http://heatherannehogan.tumblr.com/post/100076606638/big-announcement
(and thank you for rearranging your budget. it means a lot to us!)
Oh wow, thank god, because I was actually just afraid that you were just messing with us like “HAHA WE CAN ONLY DREEEEEEEEEEEEAM”.
First Roxanne Gay on The Toast, now Heather Hogan on Autostraddle? WE CAN HAVE NICE THINGS AFTER ALL!!!
She was the only reason I still check AfterEllen as regularly as I do. SO FUCKING EXCITED, Y’ALL. When I was a baby queer who didn’t know where to look or have much to read, I lived at AfterEllen. Then media production intensified and I got more discerning in what I wanted to read/what I expect from my queer media and moved mostly to Autostraddle.
I read that caption but thought it was a joke; so excited to hear it’s not!
I’m SOOOOOOOOO happy that HH is coming to Autostraddle, but I also want to know, does this have anything to do with TotallyHer Media’s acquirement of AfterEllen? Because Karman Kregloe is also stepping down as EiC.
But srsly Reagan was mad cute
RIGHT???!!!
SO CUTE, more Reagan please, Faking It!
I love how you kept writing “where’s Reagan?” because that was my thought process exactly. I am SO ready for Amy to move on from Karma to her, although I’m slightly sad Jasmine from season one totally disappeared.
Also I don’t really hate Liam at all after this episode, even if he makes me roll my eyes constantly.
I had the exact same feelings about Jasmine! I was so excited to see a lady-loving women of color on television. I thought it would have been so great if they had an interracial lesbian couple. I really want Jasmine back on.
This episode was a huge improvement from last week’s mess (mostly because of the cute girl that flirted with Amy.) Side note: How much longer will they drag on this whole unrequited love thing b/w Amy and Karma?
it looks like that’s gonna be the topic for next week’s episode, which is really really unfortunate. i’m ready for her to move on.
WHERE’S REGAN, MOAR REGAN PLZ
Also I don’t know if anyone has watched the scene from next week’s episode that they have online but it looks like Amy’s mother–while she’s still pretty much pulling for Amy to go “jk I’m straight”–has at least started making an effort to be supportive and understanding, in her way, which I appreciate. The “I’m supportive of you being this thing, I just… y’know… wish you weren’t” parent-child struggle is one I know well.
I can never decide if it’s better to watch the episode before or after reading the recap. This week I read 1st but I’m actually pretty excited to see this episode, anything is better than last week.
I am still 100% here for Oliver.
But I mean, his character is kind of like the closest thing we have on to an even-maybe-kind-of-coded-as-trans-feminine-young-person on television.
So yeah. Representation.
I have still only watched two episodes of this and I am just immensely enjoying the recaps. For this reason I have only ever seen screencaps of Oliver, but I know that I have a big old bisexual crush on him.
I really liked season 1 of this show against all of my own expectations, but so far I’m feeling let down by season 2. I dunno. For all we were promised no queerbaiting with Amy they are doing some pretty shitty stuff to her character. This week was a little better because it lacked the last episode’s ridiculous racism (why was that plot even a little bit necessary, seriously) but it also didn’t bring a lot to the table. Womp womp. At least your recaps are always hilarious, Riese!
“For all we were promised no queerbaiting with Amy they are doing some pretty shitty stuff to her character. ”
Never trust showrunners, honey. All they do is lie to try to keep you watching their show. The only thing I’m looking forward to with this show is if this season’s finale will be worst than the first one and how long it will take Carter Covington this time to run to the media to explain away why he wrote what he wrote and how it doesn’t mean that Amy isn’t not queer and we should still keep watching the show anyway.
Soooo true. I don’t know why I still get my hopes up. Maybe I need to make a new rule never to watch shows with gay characters after the first season? That’s the longest any show seems to be able to maintain before devolving into BS.
2014 has been my year of zero fucks in regards to tv “lesbians”. I have been burned far too many times to the point where I just have to get out of the abusive relationship I clearly have with these kinds of shows.
Riese, I absolutely loved this recap, and I think it was one of your best ones ever! “NOBODY PUTS AMY BACK IN THE CLOSET!” “HAHAHA. Don’t worry, I’d never not abort this guy’s baby.” The Gossip Girl reference.
If Amy and Reagan continue to have the sizzling chemistry that they had together in that closet, I’m completely onboard with shipping them together. The attraction between the two feels believable so far, and they haven’t even had a scene together for more than 30 seconds. And they’re both so hot too!
” The attraction between the two feels believable so far, and they haven’t even had a scene together for more than 30 seconds. And they’re both so hot too!”
AGREE
I’ve still never seen a single episode of this but read the recaps religiously.
Also I absolutely LOST it at “But we still don’t know who killed Jenny? What a devastating story”
Need more Laverne in my life always.
HEATHER HOGAN THAT IS FANTASTIC!
I really really need to find a job so I can join A+, you guys are so good to me.
Also, Oliver was reading Nietzsche, I’m starting to think that he is high-school-me… hiding out people-watching, crushing on unavailable maybe-lesbians, reading Thus Spoke Zarathustra (and hating Jenny Schecter even more), crying at drama club… Too real!
“Riese has written 1756 articles for us.”
Sorry, totally off-topic, but that just caught my eye. It is A LOT.
i know, right? and that doesn’t even count for the articles by “the team” that were actually by me or involved weeks upon weeks of my work to get them up
Should I suffer through the show for Laverne? Because I lobe her but I have my limits.
Obligatory: I hate Shane
Clearly meant love not lobe
Though I may lobe her too (Google’s lobe)
I mean, she has a pretty big role in this episode. You could just fast forward through the scenes she’s not in.
Gasp! I’m not the only one that doesn’t love Shane.
No, I can’t stand him either but you can tell he is the showrunner’s pet so I’m not going to hold my breath that he’s going to disappear. Same goes for Liam.
I was super disappointed by Laverne’s role in this. Not only was her performance pretty hammy (which could’ve been fine because humour and stuff), but I’m pretty sure that – by having her character choose Oliver for the club, etc – it means we won’t be seeing her again? This was probably already known by those who had read about how long she’d feature in the show but I was holding out hope that she’d have semi regular guest appearances.
Also Reagan. No more need be said on her. (Except that if she disappears from the show completely, it might be might last straw.)
Most of the characters on this show are all half-well-written, they all eventually fall on awful stereotypes or just never evolve. There is a handful of episodes in which ONE CHARACTER AT A TIME gets a chance to show another side to them or learn and grow. But that’s it, the rest of the season just seems to forget those moments and go back to their stereotypes.
Liam is the worst because his character keeps jumping back from teenage-ladykiller, to I-Wanna-Conquer-A-Lebian, to I-have-no-idea-why-I-fell-for-Karma-but-I-did, to mommy issues, etc… For example, with the big reveal from this episode you would’ve thought he wouldn’t be sleeping around so much or at least über concerned with contraception. But no, it has yet to be seen. So as a character with apparent potential to have deep and emotional development and growth, he fails… just like most of the characters.