Before this chat can exist for one more second, Lauren and Shane interrupt.
Look I’m sorry but the thought of you both alone in this room made me throw up a little bit in my mouth
They’re concerned because there’s a lurker on the lawn! WHO COULD IT BE?
IS IT THIS GUY?
The lonely life of a lesbian lawn dinosaur
Nope. Could it be THIS GUY?
I love this movie
NOPE! IT’S KARMA!!!
Sorry I forgot my spare key can you throw it down
And she’s written a song!! Here’s how that goes:
I wrote this really nice song to see if I could make things right
I know you’ve been avoiding me but I just wanna end this fight
because you’re the salt to my pepper you’re the moon to my sun
we’re like Batman and Robin when we’re out having fun
and we’re gonna be together ’til we’re old and gray
so all I ask of you is please don’t pull away
Eh, as lunar eclipses go this one is pretty meh
Everybody watches, confused, until Tommy the Captive is spotted trying to make his escape across the lawn, which is quickly foiled.
JUST LIKE I TOLD THE OTHER DANCERS, WAIT FOR YOUR CUE!!!
Back in the temporary Sex Dungeon, Karma has arrived to declare this intense kidnapping of Tommy totally off-the-wall, but Lauren insists it’s totally innocent and VERY fine. Meanwhile, Amy’s trying to intercept Liam’s desire to speak to Karma and Tommy just wants FREEDOM, like George Michael.
LAUREN! I told you that you were only allowed to let GIRLS borrow my leather bondage gear!
But before Lauren can finish her sentence about ripping out Tommy’s tongue, a not-adequately-gagged Tommy busts out with “WHY WOULD I TELL ANYBODY THAT MY GIRLFRIEND IS A DUDE?”
Oh, this is gonna be REAL NEAT.
oh?
um
oh!
After going “EX-girlfriend,” which was fantastic, we get down to brass tacks. Lauren isn’t “a dude” (only self-identified DUDES are born dudes, y’all) Lauren was born intersex, and the pills she takes are hormone replacement pills. At this moment I felt two things: 1. disappointment on behalf of our dearest Mey, who has been praying to the teevee goddesses that Lauren would turn out to be a trans woman ever since Tommy made a comment about Lauren never getting her period in Season One and 2. Excitement about an intersex character on our television set!
Anybody got a kleenex?
If you’re one of the ten trillion humans who don’t know what it means to be intersex, we very much recommend you read everything Claudia has ever written for Autostraddle BUT FIRST you should read her very first article (which is under a different member profile for some reason), Claudia Is Intersex, Let’s Talk About It. Unfortunately Amy hasn’t yet read any of Claudia’s articles on Autostraddle and would like to know exactly what it means, but Lauren is too busy storming out to link her to inter/act.
Then who should show up AT THAT VERY MOMENT but Farrah, who lifts the garage door to illuminate Adam Lambert’s back-up dancer chilling in the garage with her gay daughter.
Ohhhh boy, nope, this lighting is way too harsh for the shoot, we’re gonna need some floor lamps pronto
You tell me this now when I have JUST COME FROM IKEA?
Cut to the living room, where Farrah’s refusing to give a fuck or even ask questions about the glam rock sex dungeon situation in her garage. Why? Because…
Amy’s a bit confused, but Farrah isn’t — she tells Amy that she saw Liam leaving this morning and tells her not to worry about it, it’ll be their little secret and now they can talk about it like girlfriends!!
Amy: So I can have an S&M dungeon in our garage, but I can’t fall in love with my best friend because she’s female?
Farrah: We don’t have to rehash all that. You’re done with that phase!
Amy: It wasn’t a phase, mother!
Farrah: But that boy in the garage —
Amy: That’s a whole other story and it’s not what it looks like.
Farrah: And that boy this morning?
Amy: That was what it looked like…
Farrah: See, you slept with a boy! That means you’re straight.
Amy: No, that means I’m confused!
Now stop pushing, we all sat down as a family and made the decision that the “Family Garden —>” sign has a decorative value regardless of the fact that there is no Family Garden in that direction.
Well, Farrah’s got The Worst on lock, but let’s talk about Amy for a second — is she truly confused? After sleeping with Liam — an event which seems, on all accounts, to have been thoroughly regrettable, and motivated by sadness and hurt rather than lust or desire? An event she might not even remember well enough to qualify as good or bad? Perhaps she isn’t sure who she is or what she likes or if she’s all-the-way gay, that’s fair and wouldn’t be unusual for somebody who’s just had her first gay awakening. But it’s also quite possible that Amy, as a freshly out-to-herself queer with zero lesbian friends, might just genuinely wonder if the fact that she was able to sleep with a boy and not hate it, in and of itself, means that she’s not all-the-way-gay. (It doesn’t.)
Sees a mouse
Oh, heads up: Farrah is ALSO confused:
Farrah: That makes two of us. If you could be with a boy, why wouldn’t you? It’d be so much easier.
Amy: For me, or for you?
ZING!
What about this? Does it seem creepy when I smile like this?
Farrah: Let’s focus on the positive here, you’re not sure you’re a lesbian and I’m late for my flight to the Yucatan!
I’m just gonna focus on the “I’m late for my flight to the Yucatan” part of that sentence.
Meanwhile, Tommy’s still tied up and Liam and Karma are having a heart-to-heart about their feelings. Karma apologizes for doing such a terrible thing by lying about being Amy’s girlfriend, AKA lying about being AWESOME.
Liam: We both did fucked up things.
Karma: “We did”? What did you do?
Don’t do it, Liam! Don’t tell her!
I mean it’s not like I need the $3, but if Riese REALLY wants this shirt than I guess it wouldn’t be a big deal to sell it to Buffalo Exchange
Liam: I… I… I only noticed you because you were a lesbian. But then… then I saw so much more.
Karma: I may have lied about being gay, but I never lied about my feelings for you.
Liam: I know.
But before they can smash their lips into each other’s faces, Amy shows up and announces that Farrah’s gone. The photo shoot can commence! Shane begins lining up the dildos.
We then cut to Lauren hitting up the inter/act website with an advice question. Her self-loathing is so sad and so familiar and someone should probably give her a hug. Even though she’d probably push them away.
Ugh why isn’t the “Faking It” recap up yet?
I obviously paused the show to transcribe her question, so here you go:
I told my boyfriend that I’m intersex, and we broke up. He thinks that means I’m a man. I think that means he’s an idiot. But seriously, as if moving to this town wasn’t enough, he’s going to ruin my life and I don’t know how to fix it. He just blurted out to EVERYONE that I’m a dude! It was horrible. I explained it to him like, three times! I’m just so… scared. I’m scared they’re all going to judge me and make assumptions about my body when they don’t even know me. How do I even explain —
But before she can finish, Shane bursts in to announce that Tommy’s mouth is on lockdown.
Please tell me you have Hand Sanitizer I just ate a hot dog and my hands smell like ketchup
Furthermore:
Shane: You know, I’m not gonna tell anyone, Lauren. None of us will, I promise. I told you, no more outing people!
Lauren: You say that now but one day you’ll want to humiliate me.
Shane: And I will. But not about this. I don’t think there’s anything humiliating about what you told us. But clearly you do. You’ve gotta work on that if you wanna be happy.
:-(
Everything is winding down for the night, including Amy, who’s trying to brush her teeth in this very cute raglan shirt/nightie situation but her dental hygiene is interrupted by Karma, who’s on the bed in her Contempo dress with her guitar eager to continue playing that weird song she wrote.
Gotta wash that boy right out of my mouth
Amy tells Karma that she’s gotta stop it with these romantic gestures because it’s like she’s waterboarding Amy’s heart. This is like when [redacted] used to come into my room and rub lotion all over her naked legs while I was on my laptop just to drive me insane, except more acoustic.
Karma: Oh… oh. Okay. No more of that, got it. I just don’t wanna lose you. We’re gonna grow old together remember? We’re gonna sit on the porch and drink Iced Tea and talk about —
Amy: You’re doing it again.
Karma: Dammit. I just never thought that anything could come between us and then last night I rejected you and now you’re pulling away, and I’m worried you’ll end up hating me.
Amy: It’s not your fault that you don’t feel the same way. Even though I wish you did! (looks at Karma) You still don’t? (Karma gives her a look) Just checking!
AW!
And then I was like, why just get a six-inch sub when I could get a footlong for just a dollar more?
Amy: And I could never hate you.
Karma: I could never hate you either.
BFFs FOREVER!
Damn, Karma’s penchant for not wearing a bra at night is also waterboarding my heart
Of course, Lauren’s in the bathroom, snooping. And, because nobody on television is capable of strategically throwing out their Plan B or their pregnancy test or, for the love of goddess, SKIPPING THE BIN ALTOGETHER AND RECYCLING THE CARDBOARD BOX IT CAME IN, Lauren spots Amy’s Plan B box chilling at the top of the garbage can. I would’ve wrapped that sucker in duct tape and then tissue paper and then a boring magazine and then a plastic bag and then probably a burlap sack before disposing of it in a garbage can 25 miles out of town.
SERIOUSLY???
She didn’t recycle this OR the toilet paper roll?
Welp, that’s the show! What did you think? Also I swear there is stuff with Amy and another lady this season, despite the fact that this trailer seems to be shoving that situation backstage:
Pages: 1 2See entire article on one page
“I would’ve wrapped that sucker in duct tape and then tissue paper and then a boring magazine and then a plastic bag and then probably a burlap sack before disposing of it in a garbage can 25 miles out of town.”
My girlfriend and I were laughing our heads off the whole time we read this! I’m not sure if I am more excited for faking it to be back or for the recaps!
I think this might be my favorite recap you’ve ever done! Truly, it is a masterpiece.
Well thank you!
FINALLY! I was seriously waiting for the recap all day. I tried watching an episode last season and just couldn’t, so for now I’m settling for your recaps and my best friend’s immediate reactions.
I hated the cliche tv lesbian ending they gave Amy last season, but I am happy where they are going with it. I can relate to her for this, coming out to yourself and self-identifying as gay all on your own with no point of reference or advice is a fucking roller-coaster, and if any one fucking boy gets in the way the bridge you’ve been building can burn to smithereens just like that. So it’s a delicate road to tread through, and I hope the show does right by showing us Amy’s whole journey. I just wish there was more time for a little introspection.
that is a very apt metaphor
I was about to post a comment saying basically the same thing. Why cringe through an entire episode when the AS recaps are SOOOOO much better?
As for Amy I think full blown “what have I done? O.o” rocking in the corner is the only way forward but this is MTV.
Wait is Buffalo Exchange a real thing?? Sounds like an extremely important establishment that I should know about.
Yes! It’s like a resale clothing store, the first one I went to was in Williamsburg (Brooklyn) and now I live in Berkeley and there’s one here too. In Michigan they had the same kind of store but it was called Plato’s Closet and also there was a Rag-o-Rama once. So you sell them your lightly worn clothes if they are in perfect condition and brand-name, except they are picky about what they will buy, and then other people can buy them!
i am sad to report it is a real thing, i was employed there for like two months and it was the fucking WORST
0/10, would not recommend
Aw, Riese, I love how much you care about me and my trans headcanons.
Also, I just want to make sure that people know that:
1. Even though I’m embarrassingly sad that Lauren isn’t trans, I’m extremely happy that there’s what so far seems like positive representation for intersex people on TV.
And 2. I’d actually been praying that she was trans since Episode 5 when she wore that amazing floral dress and said that Amy’s mom was her best friend. I just started suspecting that she might be actually trans a couple episodes later when her suspicious period habits were mentioned.
“But it’s also quite possible that Amy, as a freshly out-to-herself queer with zero lesbian friends, might just genuinely wonder if the fact that she was able to sleep with a boy and not hate it, in and of itself, means that she’s not all-the-way-gay. (It doesn’t.)”
Amy, sweetie, it took me a couple years (or maybe like 7?) to figure this out. It’s okay, bebe.
I want a show all about Lauren and Amy. And also, I feel like Karma and Liam have aged 3 years over the summer? What’s up with that?
Liam also ~mysteriously got a haircut while in bed with Amy? I hate myself for noticing.
I thought his hair looked different!
this show says lesbians so many times. maybe if it was on when I was in high school I wouldn’t have winced every time I heard the word.
PROGRESS
Somebody needs to do a ‘lesbians’ supercut a la Samuel L Jackson and ‘motherf*cker’…
The only way I can get through Faking It episodes is because of the fast forward option. I’m so glad I can skip past Karma’s singing and any scenes with Liam.
Is there some place online to watch season one for free?
ProjectFreeTV
Ch131 or WatchSeries is where I watch everything.
Yay recaps! I’ve missed these!
Am I the only one that actually likes Karma? I see a lot of 15 year old me in her and I think aside from being a bit hair-brained and not really knowing what she wants she seemed like the most normal/least horrible person in this episode. (Pablo doesn’t count, he’s there to be Lauren and Shane’s shoulder angel and force them to be friends). What’s the deal?
Riese, just, thank you. So much. Thank you so much that I can know what’s happening without having to watch this.
WHY DONT PEOPLE IN TELEVISION EVER TAKE CARE OF THEIR TRASH??? IT WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL.
I’m just relieved someone else shared my outrage re:the plan b box situation
Don’t engage in filmed content – but have been doing these recaps all evening. Riese, you make great television!!
“But it’s also quite possible that Amy, as a freshly out-to-herself queer with zero lesbian friends, might just genuinely wonder if the fact that she was able to sleep with a boy and not hate it, in and of itself, means that she’s not all-the-way-gay. (It doesn’t.)”
I think that would be really damaging message given the popular homophobic stereotypes about lesbians. To suggest that lesbians, when their inhibitions are down, can experience sexual attraction toward men and enjoy having sex with them would work as confirmation for all the myths that “deep down, lesbians just need d***”, which stand behind sexual harassment and even corrective rapes.
It’s already shown in preview for the whole season that Shane will kiss Karma just to say no, still don’t get it. So you see, gay men are really gay, while lesbians are in fact bisexual apparently. Beautiful confirmation of Liam’s (or his actor’s, hard to say) ideas about “conquering” lesbians.
I’m not sure what it is in my statement that you’re disagreeing with? where did i say that sleeping with a man would make somebody not gay? i said that amy could very well be 100% gay but could ERRONEOUSLY believe that being able to sleep with a guy is evidence that she’s not 100% gay. i said amy might ERRONEOUSLY believe in the statement you’re accusing me of endorsing because she has no lesbian peers to tell her that being able to sleep with a guy doesn’t mean she’s not a full-blown lesbian. it just means she had a shitty night and did a stupid thing!
Riese, I’m sorry for offending you. I meant that if she ends up as a lesbian (and after Rita Volk’s statement that Amy is gay, anything other would make it the most vicious example of gaybaiting), and it would be implied, or just left unanswered, that she enjoyed sex with the Lesbian Conqueror, then it would suggest what I wrote, perpetuate homophobic myths about lesbians.
Okay sorry for misreading!
I think a lot of what Amy is going through in terms of being able to have sex with a guy and not HATE it reflects a lot of what I (and probably many) went through in discovering my sexuality. In a society that doesn’t really talk about how sex should feel emotionally or even physically in a POSITIVE way, I had no idea that my ability to have sex with a guy and like it didn’t exclude me from not being actually sexually attracted to him. And that’s what Amy is probably confused about, because we expect sexuality to be so innate to understand. “Wait but if I can have sex with a guy and I didn’t burst into flames, does that mean I’m actually attracted to a guy?” It’s fucking confusing, and it’s not in any way invalidating lesbian identities. Nor is it automatically saying that to engage in sex with a guy must mean that a woman is bisexual.
I’m not really sure why or from what you’re accusing Riese, but I think most of us (who have slept with people who fall outside of our sexual attractions) can relate to the tumultuous feelings that Amy is dealing with which doesn’t discredit our identities as homosexuals.
I agree (and we also don’t know if she liked it or not, but I can’t help but remember her Season 1 metaphors comparing kissing Liam to something pretty good [maybe there was bird involved? I’m blanking] versus the 1000x even-better-than-that kiss with Karma — that resonated with me a lot).
And I sympathize completely with the need for more (or hell, ANY) representation on TV and film of lesbians who never did hook up with a dude while trying to figure things out. But this is just not that story. This was a story about two girls who very much considered themselves straight pretending to be gay, and one of them falling in love with a girl in the process. It hasn’t been but a couple of months since it first even dawned on Amy that she might be into girls, or at least one girl. She still has questions.
In other news, I’m psyched about Lauren. I love the transcription of what she wrote, I had no idea!
I wonder, if it’s “not this story”, then what makes Faking It better than such NBC Dracula?
“I agree (and we also don’t know if she liked it or not, but I can’t help but remember her Season 1 metaphors comparing kissing Liam to something pretty good [maybe there was bird involved? I’m blanking] versus the 1000x even-better-than-that kiss with Karma — that resonated with me a lot).”
That was the exact dialogue:
Amy: It was like… you know when you’re outside on a sunny spring day and you see a butterfly and you go “ahhh” and then the world stops for a second, and then it’s gone? It was like that.
Shane: Wow.
Amy: Wow, no. Not wow.
Shane: Not wow?
Amy: No. Wow was kissing Karma. If Liam was spotting a butterfly, Karma was spotting a soaring eagle and oh my god I was with her and it was magical and I wish it could last forever.
Interestingly, to keep lesbians baited, IIRC Covington retweeted interpretations of people saying that Amy felt like that with Liam because she was turned on by the soon-to-be making out with Karma, etc.
Almost the exact same plotline, of lesbian hurt by woman she loved and sleeping with her man, happened not long ago in NBC Dracula. The difference is that Dracula’s creator apologized and said something very important – the lesbian was supposed to look traumatized by the sex, instead during executution of the episode, against the intention of writers, she was portrayed to enjoy it tremendously and had strong orgasm (in British version, it was censored a bit in America).
This example shows that this type of portrayal of lesbians, confirming homophobic stereotypes, is pushed even against the writers.
We had 7 TV shows with lesbians sleeping with men just since the end of last year, most of those lesbians looked like they enjoyed the sex, and in movie reality, Riddick converted a lesbian and Al Pacino is going to turn a lesbian into his wife in “The Humbling”.
Considering such situation, I think that we shouldn’t put the cart before the horse and legitimize this kind of portrayal just yet, when 90% of lesbian characters in television sleep with men and like it.
I honestly doubt if it’s done out of respect for the struggles of gay women who happened to not hate sex with men.
I guess it’s just hard for me to really come down too hard on it since the show hasn’t told us that Amy liked it. And Amy herself has not yet identified herself as a lesbian, so it feels like we’re judging it based on a comment by the showrunner rather than the story we’re actually seeing, which is that she hasn’t come to that realization fully at all yet.
Again, I can see why it stings in the face of other stories. But this isn’t those stories. Amy, as defined by this show, does not know that she is definitely gay. I hope a show happens someday that isn’t about coming out or isn’t about self-destructive reactions to rejection that just promote the whole “lesbians aren’t really lesbians” trope.
Weez, but if she is lesbian (and since Rita Volk said she is, it would be slap in the face if in the end she would turn out to be anything else), then the fact she hasnt’t yet figured it out doesn’t negate anything that happened to that point.
AE has close relations to the show’s cast since they and MTV belong to the same parent company and AE’s writer did an interview with the showrunner, in which there was brought her concern about how the sex scene was portrayed – with soft lighting and sexy music (and I might add – Amy kissing Liam very passionately and digging her nails into his back).
Covington addressed that and blamed the director of episode, saying that he wanted them to quickly go through it, but the director wanted the scene to look “very sexy”.
So what does that tell about people who work behind that show? The director intentionally wanted to portray sex scene of confused lesbian with a man who wishes to conquer lesbians as very sexy and enjoyable, and the showrunner didn’t have much of a problem with it, he let him do that (it’s also noteworthy that Covington thinks Liam is very gay-friendly and open-minded, so he doesn’t consider his attitudes toward lesbians, wish to convert them, as homophobic).
I really hate how when you have gay men talking about their sexuality versus lesbians talking about their sexuality, the lesbians have to go above and beyond to validate men. Like they’ll have a gay man kiss/have some form of intimacy with a women and hell be all “Ew.Nope. I’m good. I like the mens.” Whereas they’ll have a lesbian be intimate with a guy and before her “I like the womens” moment she has to be all “It wasn’t bad. He was a good kisser. I don’t hate men. They’re cool. etc.” I’ve noticed this in different forms of media and its super annoying every time.
Why can’t lesbians just “Nah fam, I’m good” to men without feeling the need to coddle them? Especially when gay men get to treat women that way.
i totally agree with you and i feel like the existence of that double standard is just straight-up misogyny.
And pandering to the male gaze, too. It’s easy not to turn off your straight male viewers by having conventionally beautiful feminine lesbians who also don’t think men are gross. Caters to that fantasy, big-time.
But they’re sitting pretty with their female viewers, so they can totally have their gay boys be grossed out by the ladies and not lose anyone. (And they won’t. Marketing research shows that female viewers will stay engaged in a story about gay men without any pandering.)
My most pressing concern: why doesn’t anyone ever call these things Riese-caps?
Darnit! Now all I can think about it peanut butter cups *drools
i actually really like this show? how it oscillates between really campy and weirdly true to life.
Totally agree. With the whole kidnapping thing, at first I was thinking “Ohhhhh no, that’s not okay” and then I remembered I was not watching realism. Despite many realistic emotions and character arcs and relationship in the larger sense.
(I mean let’s face it, the very premise — “just be a lesbian and you’re automatically popular!” — is a fantasy that requires a tremendous amount of willing suspension of disbelief.)
yeah i like it! it’s funny and cute.
Can we talk about how Amy’s “I have a softball bat under my bed” is the gayest possible response to her mother’s suggestion that she “use protection”?
Oh my God SO glad for the recycling joke – my first thought (before WHO is daft enough to leave that kind of thing in the bathroom bin?) was “BUT…BUT…BUT recycling!” :p I think that irked me more than anything else in the episode…
Also AfterThought is SUCH an ugly name for emergency contraception :(
Does Amy’s mom know that Lauren was born intersex? I’m assuming her dad told her but I don’t know.
1. Baby killer? Srsly???
2. That PLL picture. Golden.