Cut to the obviously already insufferable open mike, where Soleil’s delivering a passionate spoken word piece about Big Brother and her lungs bleeding.
Last night I had a dream, I found myself in a desert called Cyberland. It was hot. My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty.
Liam tells Karma how sexy Soleil is and Karma attempts to talk shop about tits but Liam insists it’s Soleil’s PASSION that really gets his rocks off, not her hot bod or deconstructed t-shirt.
When you’re hooking up with a girl, do you ever feel the urge to like, grab both her breasts and go “BEEP BEEP”? Asking for a friend.
Then Soleil and Liam say gross sex things to each other about sneaking off to the supply closet while Karma, determined to beat Soleil at this Passion Play, makes her way to the stage…
Please let me bite your hair please let me bite your hair please let me bite your hair
Back in Oliver’s Control Station, Oliver poignantly notes that “this school prides itself so much on celebrating everybody’s differences, but everyone is so desperate to fit in,” and then he and Amy say “I can’t wait for college” at the exact same time. Me neither, let’s have a spinoff called Amy Does The Seven Sisters!
Okay, yes, I can see how someone might mistake you for a young Ira Glass, okay? Can you sit back down now? You’re making me nervous.
Oliver tells Amy that he’s “noticed her before” because “it’s rare you find a girl who’s so pretty and she doesn’t even know it.” Seriously though how could she not know it? Then they almost kiss, but they don’t kiss, because before they can kiss, Oliver pulls away and is like, oh it sucks that I finally meet a girl I like and she turns out to be a lesbian!
Be honest with me, did you eat a bag of Funyuns recently
Amy starts waffling and prepares to tell him the truth but before the words can be spoken, she spies out of the corner of her eye, Karma playing guitar for a bunch of girls and guys! Amy’s so excited she dashes right out of the lair to see the wonderment for herself.
Like babies, lies grow bigger. Then they start talking. When will YOU? -A.
Amy dashes out into the Open Mike, flushed with happiness that Karma’s finally playing for an audience of fellow human beings, and FUCK it just breaks your fucking heart how happy Amy is to see her!
Bye Bye Miss American Pie, drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry
Definitely throwing my boyshorts on the stage for this one
Amy waves, she smiles, she squeals inside, and for one brief sweet moment before Amy realizes that Karma is obviously singing a song for a dumb piece of pot roast named Liam McIHateYourFace, everything is good in the world.
This is how many fingers I’m putting inside your butt later!!!!!!
The lyrics of Karma’s little tome include:
When I’m with you I don’t have to hide
When I’m with you I can be myself
Something changed the moment we kissed
I never knew it could feel like this
We keep it hush hush undercover
but it’s a rush rush being your lover
and if it’s not too much could you have a crush on me
We keep it hush hush and discover
and it’s a rush when we’re together
yeah I have a crush and I just want you to see
That you were never a secret to me
Gradually, it begins to click in Amy’s mind exactly what is happening here.
durrrrrrr
eeeeerrrewwoooo
wha?
hmmmmmm
hm?
Amy, obviously grossed out, hits the road. Shane watches Liam, listens to Karma, sees Amy jet — and Shane knows the fucking score, right away.
OHHHHHHH
Here’s the thing: Sometimes I look back on high school and think, was it normal for me to care so much about who my female friends were dating, or was that a sign of latent lesbianism? It doesn’t help that so many of my best friends in middle school also turned out to be bi or gay. So I’m not sure if I’m actually 100% familiar with The Proper Way To Feel About Your Female Friends Dating Asshats, but I endeavor to suggest that even if Amy was 100% straight and had zero interest in Karma, she still has a case for being really fucking furious about this situation.”When I’m with you I can be myself?” Really? Seems like the entire premise of Karma and Liam’s relationship is pretty much the exact opposite of that sentiment.
Just wait ’til he sees the thigh dildo I bought for our post-protest consciousness-raising session, we’ll see who gets a round of applause THEN
As the scene comes to its noted end, Lauren & The L Words show up in head-to-toe Fake Google swag, carting a shit-ton of pizza, attempting to entice them to abandon their principles in favor of pepperoni.
Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George!
Liam tells the students that they have a hunger inside of them but it’s not for food, it’s for justice and righteousness. The kids are like, nope, we’re definitely just hungry for food, let’s eat some motherfucking pizza. And thus the protest is over!
That’s right, it’s not vegan and I don’t care!
ANIMAL PROTEIN HERE I COME
Elsewhere in this fine educational institution, Amy’s stuffing shit into her bag from her locker when Karma rolls up full of giddy excitement about her big performance! Isn’t Amy so glad that Karma didn’t pee in her pants?!!!
Omg Amy I just read on the internet that Kristen Stewart might be dating a girl!
Obviously Karma quickly learns that Amy isn’t super thrilled for her after all. It’s a specific kind of sadness, and a familiar one, the sadness you feel when a person you’ve loved and believed in and encouraged and supported for so long to do [thing they’re really good at] suddenly is willing to do [thing they’re really good at] for somebody brand new, even though they’d never have done it just for you.
Amy: “It’s too bad you didn’t, I hear Liam finds that to be a real turn-on.”
Karma: “Wait, are you mad? I thought you’d be proud of me. You’ve always said that I should sing in public.”
Amy: “Yeah, and you never have — but the second it impresses some boy you’re out there belting it like Adele.”
Karma: “I don’t get it.” [pause] “You really think I sounded like Adele?”
Oh I don’t know I can think of like 25 songs you could’ve sung that would’ve been better than “Hey Soul Sister”
Amy: “I am SO sick of the way you’ve been acting lately. Chaining yourself to doors, calling out hunger strikes, and for what, so some boy you hardly know will fall in love with you? What do you even know about Liam except that he’s the hottest guy in school?”
Karma: “I know that he’s into protesting things. And he fights against corporate greed, and he has integrity -”
Amy: “Maybe he can lend you some.”
Karma: “You need to eat. You’re always bitchy when you’re hungry. And so WHAT if I like the hottest guy in school? I’m a fucking teenage girl.”
And just for the record, nipple clamps DON’T intensify my orgasm, I was just wearing them because YOU wanted me to!
DAMN. No but really, nobody’s mad at you for liking the hottest guy in school — she’s mad at you for acting like a dumbshit about liking the hottest guy in school. Karma stomps off to go be an idiot somewhere else and, as if on cue, Oliver pops around the corner with pizza for two!
Why yes I would love to attend a sci-fi convention with you this weekend!
Amy, obviously very upset, immediately lays a smackaroo on his cheeky mouth and then is like, oops, that was gross. Sorry byeeeee
Wouldn’t it be funny if somebody ran by and stole that pizza
You just ate a peanut butter sandwich, didn’t you
Fluffernutter? I didn’t know.
I think this scene is supposed to mean that Amy doesn’t like boys? Because usually on television all you need is one kiss to know either way, e.g., when Amy kissed Karma. It’s magical!
Meanwhile within the hallowed halls of Hester High, Lauren and Principle Penelope Deliah Fisher polish out their deal — Lauren threw a pizza party in everybody’s pants, therefore Principle Penelope Deliah Fisher’s gonna give Lauren better bathroom lighting, chair of the prom committee and handicapped parking passes 4 lyfe. Poor Penelope Deliah Fisher.
Here you go, an official printout from The Lesbian Mafia of every known homosexual in the West Hollywood area
Clea Duvall better be on this list or I’m cracking skulls
Meanwhile outside the hallowed halls of Hester High, Karma’s being a creepy stalker watching Liam and Soleil bid one another adieu for the evening. Clearly she’s hoping that Liam’s rejecting Soleil’s desire to get a hot beef injection later in favor of playing tonsil hockey with Karma.
How do you feel about having ice cubes dropped down the back of your shirt
But ALAS (not really) before Karma can get too giddy, a dark car pulls up next to Liam, the Fake Google Girl emerges from the vehicle, and invites Liam inside. He enters. She follows. SOME INTEGRITY LIAM.
Oh, I’ll make you my digital slave alright
Is reconsidering her most recent Snapchat to Liam
Cut to Amy’s bedroom at night, where Amy’s in her cute lounge pants and her cute henley shirt when Shane busts in to tell her that her girlfriend is hooking up with Liam. Amy pretends to be surprised for like a minute and then is like, yeah oops I know.
What do you mean having a post-it mannequin is weird
Shane: “Wait wait so you knew she’s also into guys?”
Amy: “I had a clue.”
Shane: “Ah, the elusive bisexual. They are a tricky beast.”
Shane pulls Amy in for a squeeze of brotherly love.
It’s okay, I cried for two days straight the first time I saw the episode where Dana died. It’s totally normal.
Shane: “I’ve been down this yellow brick road before. Dating someone bi is a lesson in insecurity.”
Amy: “Yeah, I wish she was bi.”
Shane: “Trust me I saw the way her and Liam were eye-humping, I felt like I should break into the chemistry lab and [something I can’t make out despite watching the episode four times].“
I don’t mean to be rude but do you think it’s possible that maybe the reason you felt so insecure dating a bi guy was because he was so insulted by you thinking he was going to leave you for a girl all the time that he never really figured out how to open up to you and trust you and be real?
Amy, who I believe has already forewarned us that she is a terrible liar, cannot manage more than ten seconds of lying to Shane, so here we go:
Amy: “If I tell you something super secret, you promise you won’t tell anyone?”
Shane: “Gay Scouts Honor!”
Okay fine I read that Effing Dykes article and now I can’t unclench my vaginal muscles even just to pee! I can’t even PEE anymore!
Amy: “Um, Karma and I are faking it.”
Shane: “What like orgasms? Because my Mom sells adult toys from the trunk of her car. Long story, but I can get you a discount.”
Amy: “No, we’re faking being lesbians. Karma is. I’m not so sure.”
Shane: “You have my attention.”
AND MINE JESUS FUCK WHAT HAPPENS NEXT??!!!
I guess this means you won’t be teaching me how to scissor later.
Next week on Faking It, Amy tries to get a girlfriend who also likes girls!
http://youtu.be/oAPCVFvCLjo
WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS EPISODE, CHIPMUNKS?
Pages: 1 2See entire article on one page
I am sooooooo glad Karma got to see what a total piece of shit Liam really is. I mean, it’s building. And it’s good that the show is actually showing how dumb Karma is, even if the girls were both straight (which they’re not) and weren’t pretending to be in a relationship, Karma is still acting like a terrible friend.
I also didn’t want to stick scissors in Oliver’s eyes! I’d be on board if he became Amy’s lesbro but not okay if it’s another cliche trope about straight guy falls for lesbian and we’re supposed to feel bad for him.
(p.s. I obsessed over boys when I was in Jr high, but that doesn’t mean I had crushes on them. Big. Semantic. Difference.)
yeah i OBSESSED over boys in junior high but it tended to involve a lot of policing of who my BFFs were dating, and vice versa. now we’re all gay, so that whole period of time is very confusing to me in retrospect.
ugh oliver would be the best lesbro. i hope he sticks around just to be a bro, but i feel like he served his purpose and now might be gone. but who knows, this show continues surprising me, so!
My obsession with guys was a desperate attempt to fall in-line with coded femininity and since I failed to look like a proper feminine girl, I compensated socially by obsessing over how I could get a guy to express interest in me (but I couldn’t give a shit about actually wanting to kiss him or anything, ew).
Ugggggghhhhhhhhh how did it take me till adulthood to figure out why I never felt compelled to kiss boys why why why
omg you just described my teenage years, YOU JUST DID
This!!! I was fat in school – still am actually – and I said I had crushes on guys to fit in and I sorta did (hence why I thought I was bi at one point) but thankfully with the fat thing they were never interested back (a couple of guys faked interest for a joke but I wasn’t bothered – didn’t realise why then) and I always thought kissing them would be weird. Then I got close to my best girl friend and we became a thing and it slowly dawned on me (bi thinking included) that I was gay.
Ugh it is hilarious/painful how much this show reminds me of my freshman year of college.
Also, this line is perfect and explains a lot of things about my life: “middle school, a time in the male lifecycle when he either resembles an actual swamp monster OR a tomboy lesbian.”
Haha yep! I read that line and was like “Oooohh! That makes sense!”
Shane: “Trust me I saw the way her and Liam were eye-humping, I felt like I should break into the chemistry lab and use the eyewash”
maybe my ears just weren’t accustomed to hearing the word “eyewash” because IS THAT AN ACTUAL WORD and can i get one in my bathroom for when i get shampoo in my eyeballs
My feelings about this show are basically, Amy’s face breaks my heart and Karma is an idiot. (But I’m really glad the show is calling Karma out on being an idiot!)
Shane’s lines about bisexuals were stereotype-perpetuating bullshit, though. And the fact that there are almost no POC is baffling. But other than that, I’m so here for this. Mostly because of Rita Volk’s face and general everything.
Oh, also, I love that they use the fuck word but bleep it out. (Don’t know if that just happens for me because I’m watching the stream on MTV.com or what, but it amuses me.)
Yeah on the press screeners there is no bleeping, so i noticed the bleeping big time when the show aired!
I’m actually glad they left in the fucks and then bleep them. It fits in with the campy tone of the show, which makes it funny instead of annoying.
Thank you for validating aaaaaaaaaaall of my feelings about this episode. Like, all of them. And it bleeps out fuck and the “God” part of Goddamn and the “hole” part of asshole (I’ve never understood the last two) on On Demand also…and it is pretty much always funny.
I felt like Shane’s bisexual comments actually make monosexuals look silly for having those exact insecurities about bi-partners.
Can I just say that I love you and your Newsies references and your Rent references and your hilarity. Because I literally laughed out loud reading this.
And yes me too– so much about this show reminds me of my high school days, except that I still took another 5 years to figure out I loved my best friends a lot more than other girls loved their best friends.
I did really hate the ignorant comment about dating bisexuals, but hopefully they will stop with that.
And I don’t know how they make me not hate every trop they trot out, but they manage it and I kind of love it.
Can I just say that I love you for getting all my musical theater references
Amy’s facial expressions that Karma doesn’t see keep giving me highschool flashbacks in a terrible/awesome kinda way
SAME. Their fight in this episode made me remember fights I had with my best friend in high school, which were probably not the kinds of fights that straight girls have with their friends.
oh god this so much. I sort of want to watch this show with my best friend from high school (with whom I was painfully/unknowingly in love) and be like LOL REMEMBER WHEN THIS WAS US
I would die of embarrassment if I watched this with my high school best friend. Mostly because I don’t know if she knew how big of a homo I was (because I sure didn’t at the time).
I have not seen the show, just your recap, but your recap makes me think that my reaction to seeing this episode would be “Aaaahhhh die forever!” Biphobia and tired stereotypes about protesters all in one go? I might start throwing things at the TV. Or start arguing out loud with the writers the way that I do with certain episodes of The West Wing.
Y’all seem to like the show, though, so I guess there are some hidden depths there!
I don’t think it’s “tired stereotypes” about protestors, i think it’s “tired stereotypes” about idealistic privileged liberal high school students who protest things without really understanding the situation… which I can relate to as well!
The musical references just make my theatre geek heart flutter! Might have started shouting “no!” when I was reading the Newsies caption. But anyway.
Rita Volk and Amy are the new loves of my life, so I now will probably follow this show anywhere it leads as long as she is here delivering heartbreaking face and adorableness.
This show is ridiculous. I think I might be in love.
It’s trope-y, it’s flat out playing with stereotypes, but messing with them in such a self-aware way that it’s hard to yell “OFFENSIVE!”. Instead I’m going, “OFFENSIVE, but hilarious because you’re aware those lines are offensive but you’re showing why they’re offensive instead of just being offensive for the sake of being offensive or because you’re ignorant. I think.”
And also it came off a bit less biphobic to me and more Shane’s issues of insecurity, that is, the problem with dating bisexuals is you feel insecure because we are all little insecure people with wild and self-demeaning imaginations not because bisexuals CAUSE insecurity through their philandering. Also also, so far Karma is straight, and so that line falls flat w/r/t her – she’s not being a mess and causing pain because she’s bisexual, but because she’s just incredibly blind to how much Amy adores her. Obviously, the show could avoid offhand statements like that and not be potentially gross, but also in context, it’s not that bad? And also, the showrunners are aware and seem to be heading in the direction of addressing these issues, at least they’re responding to accusations on Twitter semi-not-defensively, which is better than pretending they didn’t see the remarks calling them out.
Also every single episode has shown those two adorable faces kissing and it just makes me so happy to actually have that to look at? And it’s sort of mainstream because MTV? And the fact that they’re just KISSING all the time and it’s HAPPY? Happy kissing lesbians? Hard to hate.
TLDR; I thought I would hate this show because FAKE LESBIANS HAHAHA WHAT A GREAT PREMISE but actually I hate it so much because it’s killing me because it’s kind of fabulous.
I am super on board with all of this.
I agree, I didn’t interpret Shane’s comments as being biphobic as much as just reflective of his own insecurity.. but I dunno. I might be being a little too optimistic about the writers’ intentions there.
I totally agree with your interpretation of Shane’s comment about bisexuals. Plus, they’re teenagers, it’s completely understandable that they’d be afraid someone would be abusing the identity of bisexual (at this age!!) as an excuse to experiment and then break someone’s heart.
1. I have a huge crush on Amy.
2. Shane’s comments about bisexuals hurt a lot.
3. I think I like this show but I’m desperately hoping the biphobia doesn’t rear its ugly head again.
Is it just me or does Shane look like a younger gayer Keanu? And that Charlotte York whatsherface can totally be Karma’s mom.
I really hope they eventually have an actual bisexual character on this show so they can talk about how people create their own insecurities when around bisexuals.
Also I laughed when Amy licks her teeth in the preview for next week. It reminds me of how little I knew about how to be sexy when faced with a pretty girl.
God I really like this show! And I think that that’s why Shane’s comments about bisexuals bummed me out so much.. I hope they adress this issue eventually, maybe adding a bi character?
And my crush on Amy/Amy’s face is already getting out of control. After just 3 episodes.(ok jk it took like 5 minutes)
I was pleasantly surprised that it only took three episodes before Amy admitted that she and Karma aren’t actually dating and that she might actually be attracted to girls. I was fully expecting it to be dragged out for however many more episodes there are supposed to be in this season.
I’m also pleasantly surprised that they’ve shown Amy and Karma not only kissing in every episode, but kissing for longer than two seconds. The one at the beginning of the episode gave me serious Spashley flashbacks, before Karma whipped out her phone of course.
I know! THEY KEEP KISSING!! it’s magical i love it.
I don’t get the Karma hate, throw a bomb at someone it’s too much. She isn’t the most deep of the ppl, but that doens’t justify. And What is a “male lesbian”?
Karma’s song should’ve been my high school theme song, except less country/folkish and more alternative rockish.
“I don’t mean to be rude but do you think it’s possible that maybe the reason you felt so insecure dating a bi guy was because he was so insulted by you thinking he was going to leave you for a girl all the time that he never really figured out how to open up to you and trust you and be real?”
Yes Autostraddle :p You win.
I officially have 5 friends that owe me $20 each. Before the show even aired I bet that there would be at least one shot at bisexual people within the first 3 episodes. Just made it!
Also, did the bisexual community get together and do a drive-by on everybody? Everywhere I turn they’re getting crapped on from people of varying genders and sexualities. Let them live for Christs sake.
I’m not doing anything today so if anyone needs a hug to heal their wounds, I’m over here
“I don’t mean to be rude but do you think it’s possible that maybe the reason you felt so insecure dating a bi guy was because he was so insulted by you thinking he was going to leave you for a girl all the time that he never really figured out how to open up to you and trust you and be real?”
<<< THIS
“Mooo with me!” Loved the Rent reference!!
Also, this show is really tearing me up at times.
You know,we have been bitching about lesbian/queer/bi/youknowwhatImean representation forever.
No leading characters, no real storylines.
When and if we were represented it was about the old Lesbian pregancy trope,or the character’d end up dead or killing people or both.
But this show,this show is getting something right.
It’s the queer stereotype, that we joke about with a heavy heart.
Falling for your best friend.
Not knowing where love starts and friendship ends.
And it’s so well done despite the absurdity of satire, that this show often slips into.
My heart really fluttered for Amy when Karma kissed her, and it hurt,and it beat with hope,despite knowing, that it can’t be.
And it ached for my younger self like a bitch.
“Here’s the thing: Sometimes I look back on high school and think, was it normal for me to care so much about who my female friends were dating, or was that a sign of latent lesbianism? It doesn’t help that so many of my best friends in middle school also turned out to be bi or gay. So I’m not sure if I’m actually 100% familiar with The Proper Way To Feel About Your Female Friends Dating Asshats, but I endeavor to suggest that even if Amy was 100% straight and had zero interest in Karma, she still has a case for being really fucking furious about this situation.”
This episode made me feel so many high school feelings, because same same same. Even if I was not romantically interested in my female friends (to my knowledge, but I was extremely repressed in high school so who knows), as high school wore on and we got into college, it became abundantly clear that they didn’t value our time together like I did, and I took it very personally. Was I being the delusional asshat with the “creepy” sexuality who was the only BFF in the world begrudging her friend of the time she spent with dudes? BUT KARMA SAID SHE’D SING THE SONG TO AMY FIRST AND THEN SHE DIDN’T, and then Karma didn’t understand why it was such a big deal and ugh, don’t even touch me.
There is no part of me that is proud to have seen all 3 episodes of this show. Never the less, I am very excited about the possibilities of seeing what happens when Amy actually deals with liking girls. It might all crash and burn–MTV, amirite?–but I’m still holding out for something not so terrible? Low bar.
All I have to say is damn, Amy in those suspenders. Yes, thank you. The costume designer also does the clothes for Pretty Little Liars, which explains why I want to steal all the outfits from this show. Also, I’m pretty sure she’s gay, so that’s cool…
This show, with all of its flaws and shortcomings, is so important to me. As someone who is still in high school and who has very recently gone through what Amy is in the process of going through on the show, it’s amazing for me to see that kind of story being told on a channel like MTV. I see myself in a lot of how she feels and what she does, and I relate to her in a way that I have never before with any other character, gay or otherwise, I’ve yet encountered.
When I heard about the show, I was rolling my eyes about the premise of two straight girls pretending to be lesbians to attract hot guys and popularity. But, once I saw autostraddle had given the show its blessing, I decided to give it a chance and check it out; and I could not have been more pleasantly surprised.
I love your recaps, Riese, as always.
Side note: I used to live in Texas and, while I’ve never set foot in Austin, I feel like Shane wears way too many sweaters/scarves not to sweat like fucking crazy in that climate. But I guess the cooler weather would be consistent with the whole “blue oasis in the red sea” thing.
As someone who lives in Austin, I can confirm that there are very few months that qualify as sweater weather (December, January, and February to be exact). Right now it’s like 90 degrees and humid as always (but not as bad as Houston). If only being more liberal than most of the rest of Texas also meant having better weather…
Aw, thanks Rachel!
And yeah I have been really confused by how many scarves that kid is wearing, and I’ve only been to Texas once (for SXSW obvs), but I do feel overheated just thinking about Texas and looking at Shane’s scarves.
Oh, I even relate to Amy’s predicament right down to having my own personal Oliver, the totally cute/dorky guy friend who shows painfully sweet interest in dating me which I am fundamentally incapable of reciprocating. Tuff Stuff
Anyone else found themselves fast-forwarding through this episode? I couldn’t with the protest story line. I just couldn’t.
I’m trying to give this show a shot, but it’s not wining me over. Perhaps watching it around the same time as “My So Called Life” is not the best of ideas.
Lastly, it was bugging me as to where I had seen the actress that plays Lauren before.
Then I finally remembered, she was on Bunheads! A show that should have never been cancelled.
<3 Bunheads!
What Shane said was “…break into the chemistry lab and use the eye wash.”
Putting my science degree to great use!
All I could think about during this episode is the actor who plays Liam (I can never remember his name)’s horrible American accent. For those of you that don’t know, he’s British. His accent slipped up so many times. I kept wondering, didn’t the director or producers or other actors notice this? They had to have considering how many times he did it. It’s so distracting.
Also, Karma, being a teenage girl is not justification for being stupid or loving a douchebag because he’s “hot” (he’d be hotter if he used his real accent). I’m a teenage girl and I would never fall for a guy like Liam. When I was in high school, the guys like him were the ones I couldn’t stand. The guys I liked were more like the guy Amy was hanging out with or gay.
“I don’t mean to be rude but do you think it’s possible that maybe the reason you felt so insecure dating a bi guy was because he was so insulted by you thinking he was going to leave you for a girl all the time that he never really figured out how to open up to you and trust you and be real?”
*loud applause*