Guess who’s on Autostraddle today? Your MOM! JK! New York Magazine published this story called The Gay Generation Gap, and it was pretty cool, except that there were no girls in it. So we wrote our own in the Autostraddle Roundtable: Is There a Lesbian Generation Gap? With special guests Grace Chu, Haviland Stillwelly and … Riese’s MOM!

Also, um, hello, your Tuesday Televisionary gets funnier every frackin’ week. Our fave closeted lesbian (we kid, we kid!) is featured today (she was on SYTYCD) as well as shows like Better Off Ted, Nurse Jackie, Weeds and the new open-season Hot Girl of the Week.

#MICHAELJACKSON: The Ten Most Important Moments of the Michael Jackson Memorial Mess: In a chilling final moment, Jackson’s rarely-seen daughter Paris tearfully said she loved her father and that he was great. In a haunting evocation of a cycle continuing to grind on, her aunt Janet fixed her hair and dotingly but firmly told her “Speak up, honey. Speak up.” It was pretty much devastating. (@defamer)

CELEBGAYS: Everyone is so wrong, it’s like, maybe not even funny. That being said, so many gays are ding way better at slipping under the radar than we thought! I mean, why talk about the Pinkett-Smiths when you can gay-theorize  … A.C. Slater? The straightest dude EVER? The Celebrity Crowdsourced Gay List. (@gawker)

WATCH FOUR-FOUR’S I’M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS VIDEO ’09: A year ago today, I posted my supercut of people saying various iterations of “I’m not here to make friends” over and over and over again on reality TV. So much has changed since then — Obama became president, the sinking economy went belly up, Sarah Palin became queen of her own ass, then sank, then went belly up, etc. And yet, as the video (containing examples of my most favorite of televised cliches that have been uttered in the time since the first video) proves, they’ve also stayed much the same. (@fourfour)

ALSO WE ARE ALL MADE OF STARS: We’re all intersex: The persistence of intersex reminds me that there’s a continuum, that we isolate people in the middle and say they have a problem because they’re reproductively incompetent or don’t look right or whatever. None of us meet the criterion of being the perfect male or the perfect female. We are all intersex. (@salon)

BISEXUAL MURDER MOVIE! Yes, this is exactly what we need. A movie about a hot bisexual who kills people. Enough already with all those movies about kind bunny-like bisexual vixens, that’s so 90s. Here’s a preview:

SUNNY CAME HOME WITH A GIRLFRIEND: When Gay Comes Home:  For many parents, it is the realization that this child – loved and accepted though he or she might be – is somebody, at least in one big aspect of their life, different from who those parents thought they were. For many children, it is a test of whether the love and respect of their parents withstands the news, or now carries an asterisk. What happens from that moment on says a lot about families, the times and the tricky personal navigation between opinion and belief; between what we say and what we feel. (@huffpo)

THE JOURNAL OF DOUCHEBAGGERY: NARTH Publishes Fake Study in a Fake Journal Focus On the Family has issued a breathless article claiming that a “new study” has proven that sexual orientation can be changed. The problem with all that? Well first of all, this isn’t a study at all. (@boxturtlebulletin)

WATCH: Just like dinosaurs existed before Jurassic Park, gay people existed before Stonewall! Don’t believe me? Here’s a video!

↓ Make the Ask: In all of this, nothing is more infuriating than Obama’s refusal to act on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. It is true that the issue affects a relatively small number of gays and lesbians. But discrimination in our armed forces carries a potent symbolism: It tells an entire class of people that the country is not interested in their service. (@thenewrepublic)

↓ Saskatchewan seeks same-sex exemption: Saskatchewan marriage commissioners should be allowed to refuse to perform same-sex unions if it violates their religious beliefs, the state government says. (@UPI)

↑ O’Malley open to recognizing gay marriage in MD: ”I think that it’s very difficult to deny equal rights to people when it comes to rights that are disbursed by a government rather than a faith or a church” (@WTOP-FM)

↑ Teachers Say Yes to Marriage Equality: The National Education Association, the nation’s largest labor union, has endorsed marriage equality, with a couple of slight dodges. (@joe.my.god)

Auto-Straddler(s) of the Day

from Intern Vashti: I’ve tried about 17 different ways to introduce my team pick. Obvs I didn’t like any of them so I’m just going to be straight up about it. I love My Milk Toof because photo comics that track the everyday adventures of Ickle and Lardee, the most adorable clay tooth models I’ve ever seen, make my heart sing.

from Stef: Oh hey, is that Zooey Deschanel as Sid Vicious and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Nancy Spungen? Yes, yes it is. File under: WTF?

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