Coming Out as a He/He Lesbian: I Started Doing Standup

Coming out isn’t always easy, even if you have a great support system around you. There can still be judgements made, relationships altered, and some real trauma risks created. Not only are you coming to terms with who you are on the inside, you’re also having to communicate this externally to friends, family, coworkers, and strangers everywhere you go. This should be a joyous time in your life but, for one reason or another, it’s proven to be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done! That’s why I’m here to help you tell your loved ones one of the scariest things you’ll ever say aloud: I’m a standup comedian.

There will be people who doubt you or question you, they’ll tell you it’s unnatural or part of the “woke virus,” but mostly they’ll just be asking you to prove it. They’ll demand evidence to your face and in frightening circumstances, will make you do it in front of a crowd. They’ll ask you if you know any other standup comedians that they went to high school with despite having nothing else in common. They’ll start comparing you to famous standup comedians like Ellen.

What’s going to hurt the most, and you’ll likely hear it often, is people will insist to you that it’s just a phase. They won’t know how long you’ve actually been thinking about becoming a standup comedian. They won’t know about all of the friends you experimented with in middle school (telling them jokes and seeing what landed). They’ll tell you that you just haven’t found the right job yet and so you’re panicking. They may even try to insist that your standards are too high for desk jobs! “Just give corporate a chance!” they’ll say. “Your Aunt Deb went corporate and now she can finally afford rent with her roommate Barbara.”

The best you can do while you come out is just remember what you have waiting on the other side for you:  room full of women either yelling your name with excitement or shaking their heads in disappointment.

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motti

Motti (they/he) is a New York born and raised sorority girl turned writer, comedian, and content creator (whatever that means these days). Motti has been featured on We're Having Gay Sex Live, The Lesbian Agenda Show, Reductress Haha Wow! Live, the GayJoy Digest, and even played the role of "Real Life Lesbian" on Billy on the Street. In 2022, they wrote about how clit sucker toys are a scam, sweet gay revenge, chasing their dreams, and getting run over by a pick up truck in their now-abandoned newsletter Motti is An Attention Whore. Motti has a Masters in Public Administration and Local Government Management, you'd never know it from the shit they post online (see previous sentence), but occasionally he'll surprise you with his knowledge of civic engagement and electoral processes. They live in Brooklyn with their tuxedo cat, Bo, and their 20 houseplants.

motti has written 41 articles for us.

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