Chappell Roan and Hayley Williams Are Rightfully Fed Up with Parasocial Relationships with Fans
Photos from Chappell Roan’s tiktok and Hayley Williams’ instagram, feature image photo by Stephen J. Cohen/Getty Images
Paramore’s Hayley Williams says she’s glad Chappell Roan is speaking up and setting boundaries about “superfan” behavior, often brushed off as acceptable. Williams also rightly points out that this happens a lot, specifically with women.
A few days ago, Chappell Roan made two separate TikTok videos saying that she’s allowed to set boundaries with fans, especially when she’s “off the clock” and not at a fan event. Just because someone has seen her videos online or bought her album or been to her concert doesn’t entitle them to her time, space, or anything else. She said that just because it’s been “normalized” doesn’t mean it’s right. She says people will say it’s the price of fame, but she posits that it shouldn’t be.
To some extent, this kind of thing has always been a problem — Jodie Foster had a terrifying stalker incident in the 80s, for example, and I’m positive it wasn’t the first instance — but it has become increasingly problematic with the prevalence of the internet and social media. People develop parasocial relationships with celebrities and don’t know how to act around them. Reneé Rapp has had to repeatedly request people chill out with the sexually explicit signs they bring to her concert. Chappell Roan has even gone so far to explain why she has a specific drag persona for when she performs, but people are still finding out where her sister works and harassing her family. I’m not sure what they think it will accomplish, but it has to stop. It’s especially embarrassing that this keeps happening within the queer community; we of all people, who have been asked invasive questions by straight and/or cis people about our sex lives and bodies upon first meeting, should know how to respect these lines. We’re a community who often touts the importance of physical and emotional boundaries and consent of all kinds, so why do some people seem to forget to apply that to celebrities? Why are people saying outlandish things to them, or launching into a hug without asking first? It’s baffling.
In her follow-up Instagram post, Chappell Roan rightfully pointed out that this is dangerously close to the kind of victim-blaming we see happening when people, especially women and LGBTQ+ people of all genders, are assaulted in any way. Most musicians and actors aren’t doing their craft to get famous; of course, fame helps them get sales and jobs and awards, but it’s not typically the reason they’re doing it. They’re usually doing it for the love of the art.
Chappell Roan wasn’t saying don’t go to meet and greets. She wasn’t even saying you can’t politely ask for a photo if you happen to walk by her on the street. She’s asking you to a) not touch her without consent, b) be polite and respectful if she turns you down, c) leave her friends and family alone, and d) respect her boundaries. Musicians and actors do not owe you their time, their bodies, or anything else. If you buy tickets to a concert or a play, they owe you a performance. That’s it. End of list.
I hope this is a turning point in the way we treat celebrities. I hope people will stop interrupting family dinners at restaurants and trying to gain access to people’s lives in a way that must be absolutely terrifying. I hope people learn how to just enjoy the art and the artist and remember that they are real people who you don’t actually know. Appreciate the parts of themselves they are sharing with you, and be respectful of the parts they are not.
Information about Celebrities They Consented to Us Knowing
+ Blake Lively’s next movie is going to be a sapphic horror movie, though after the PR cycle for It Ends with Us, I’m not sure this is good news
+ Drag Race’s Detox has come out as trans, and uses she/they pronouns
+ Lady Gaga seems to have new music up her sleeve, and is fantasizing about releasing it all at once
+ Emilia Perez, starring trans actor Karla Sofía Gascón alongside Zoe Saldaña and Selena Gomez, is being described as a “queer crime musical” – which is all the information I need to ensure I’ll be seated for it https://
+ Season 3 will be the last for Bridget Everett’s Somebody Somewhere
+ Rotten Tomatoes is taking steps to help avoid review-bombing, which we all know is often targeted at LGBTQ+ films, and other movies that feature or highlight marginalized communities
+ I didn’t know who this TikTok lesbian was until she was being canceled, but apparently a petition is calling for Sedona Prince to be cut from her college basketball team
+ Someone rudely trademarked Jools Lebron’s “Very demure, very mindful” phrase before she could
+ Tilda Swinton and Julianne Moore’s new movie The Room Next Door drops a trailer devoid of dialogue, excepting a bit of screaming
Megan Thee Stallion will be hosting the MTV Music Video Awards https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/megan-thee-stallion-2024-mtv-video-music-awards-host-1235085545/
+ Ted Lasso might be coming back for another season?? To be honest, I didn’t know this was an option, I thought the best we’d get was a spin-off, but I’m a cautiously optimistic even though Season 3 wasn’t my favorite of the show’s history
+ Drew Barrymore is going to try to not do interviews from her guests’ laps anymore
+ Reneé Rapp’s performance at the Reading Festival was interrupted by bad weather, which she was none too pleased about
“Chappell Roan wasn’t saying don’t go to meet and greets. She wasn’t even saying you can’t politely ask for a photo if you happen to walk by her on the street.” Just so you’re aware I think this is contradictory to Chappell’s written statement. She wants to be left alone when not in work mode. She gives herself to fans during album creation, on stage, work events and in interviews. Any other time, including when you see Chappell on the street, she shouldn’t be asked for photos, autographs or for her time. Just don’t want to spread the misinformation. We should accept her understable boundaries.