Remember a few weeks ago, when Vogue ran an obnoxious profile of model/actress/eyebrows Cara Delevingne? In it, a smarmy gentleman suggested – through context clues that only he could see – that Cara’s bisexuality was temporary, caused more by a crisis of confidence than actual human desire. It was so ridiculous that outraged readers even started a petition demanding that Vogue apologize; as of this writing, said petition had over 21,000 signatures (Have Vogue ever apologized for anything??).
photo via Bryan Derballa for The New York Times
In a new profile by The New York Times, Cara says she found “nothing malicious” in the writer’s words, although she appreciated the sentiment of those who were offended. “My sexuality is not a phase,” she clarifies. “I am who I am.” Later, she gushes that being in love (with girlfriend Annie Clark) has helped hone her acting skills.
Like most gushing celebrity profiles, The New York Times can’t help but describe Cara in a ridiculous way (“a confident tangle of lanky limbs and messy hair, tattoos and ripped black jeans,” as opposed to Vogue’s “grinning and conspiratorial, all kinetic limbs and generous laughter, possessed of a demeanor that suggests that she has both seen it all and seen nothing at all”). Cara’s limbs are very striking to journalists. She’s very excited about taking over Hollywood and hopes to emulate the career of Charlize Theron, also a former model.
Explaining a private collection of videos of her wild, jet-setting lifestyle to Times reporter Logan Hill, Delevingne muses, “When I get older, I’m going to go through that footage and have the best time, because I probably won’t remember much of it.” Examples include “watching Lars Ulrich play a Metallica show from behind the drum kit! Or doing tequila shots with Whitney Houston just before she died!” – wait, WHAT?! Cara Delevingne has truly been living her best life. The reporter breezes right by this brilliant statement like it doesn’t even matter, but now it’s all I can think about. Forever.
Listen, we’re trying to teach the media to report respectfully about bisexuality, but clearly we’ve got a long road ahead of us. Instead of focusing on the hidden context of Cara’s smiles or what her limbs are doing, we here at Autostraddle would at least appreciate a journalist extensively covering Cara and Whitney’s tequila-fueled adventures of yore. The people have spoken.
New drinking game: take a shot any time an article on Cara mentions her “limbs” doing anything
But I don’t like getting that drunk!
Good point, we’d all have to get our stomachs pumped
If any publications mention her “hugging someone with her limbs (legs) in friendship,” you have to chug.
Can we start a petition to have Cara Delevingne interviewed by Stef?
FOR REAL
YES
omg please
I support this.
I think since alcohol or other drugs were a factor in Whitney Houston’s death it’s pretty insensitive to get excited about the fact that Cara Delevingne did tequila shots with her “just before she died”. It feels like Whitney’s being objectified for her fame, and it’s sad.
Totally. It feels icky. And for Cara to brag about it… makes me sad.
It seems like type of thing a dumb young person from the burbs with no exposure to substance abuse would say because it’s “so edge” but Cara’s mum…
Is this an RDJr-like thing then and bonding with some one cool before they died I wonder.
Can I just say I freaking love the Vapid Fluff posts? Literally everything posted in them makes me happy for some reason or another, and this is no exception!
thank you! <3
Yes! When hammered by hard news all day, seeing a Vapid Fluff post brightens my day.
Vapid Fluff forever
^new merch idea?
I’m definitely adding “confident tangle” to my everyday vocab, although I am unsure how a tattoo can get tangled in anything.
Anyway, congrats to Cara getting her sexuality validated by a mainstream media outlet! I’m sure she’s like a super-confident tangle now.
I really want to nickname her Cara Delemingne-eater, but I’m not sure if that sounds gross.
Thank you once again for this reportage from the fluff lines, Stef!
making a shirt for myself that says “CONFIDENT TANGLE”
Also starting a new pubic hair trend called CONFIDENT TANGLE
It could be the new nipple confidence. Strut brashly down the street, while all the girls turn their head and think she’s got confident tangle!
^THIS
I had to gargle and spit after reading that Vogue interview, but I’m glad she set the record straight either way. Also, what I wonder what the height minimum on being a “confident tangle” is?
I don’t think a height minimum is possible cause it’s all about the ridiculousness of one’s limbs.
Trust me on this, o stranger on the internet.
I feel like it was more setting the record bisexual, if you know what I mean ;)
I’m kidding, that joke was dreadful.
…..was that a 3 way joke?
Bisexuals & threeways, hahaha how original.
I am just slightly over 4’9″ and I refuse to believe I cannot be a confident tangle!
I didn’t read it as a three-way joke. *shrug* And chyeah, actually, who would want to set the record straight? I’m going to start saying “to set the record bi”. AND YOU GO, FERN. I think if you can be a confident tangle at 4’9″, I can at 5’6″. WOOHOO.
I’m glad both that she was confident enough to clarify and that the Times ran the clarification, overly descriptive as it is. Gotta pad those word counts somehow!
While I doubt either the previous writer or Vogue will apologize, I hope other magazines will be more respectful in the future.
I also LOVE the photo you chose for this, what an unrelenting gaze she has there.
Vapid fluff is always such a treat
whenever a new Vapid Fluff comes out, it’s like a free donut just popped out of nowhere.
Only it’s a magical donut that’s not unhealthy. Like I don’t feel guilty when I treat myself to regular donuts but I usually do feel like “I gotta eat a salad later.” But the Vapid Fluff donut requires no salad. You can just keep eating magical pastries. Which in this metaphor is just reading more Autostraddle.
Personally, I find Stef’s vapid fluff interviews much more hard-hitting than any vogue or ny times interview. Once again, thank you autostraddle…
I always get secondhand-embarrassment whenever I read articles about celebrities because they get way too descriptive to the point of ridiculousness. “A confident tangle of lanky limbs and messy hair, tattoos and ripped black jeans,” as opposed to Vogue’s “grinning and conspiratorial, all kinetic limbs and generous laughter, possessed of a demeanor that suggests that she has both seen it all and seen nothing at all” Yall are doing too damn much. This is straight up fanfiction.
YES!!! So frustration. Like why do they have to do this in every single article?
I’ve often thought that tabloids are poorly written celebrity fanfiction tbh.
but this is vogue and the new york friggin times!
Talking about her limbs like that is kind of gross anyway when you think about it. Like I get it, she has long legs. I have big boobs. Would the NYTimes call me “a confident ball of breasts and tattoos?” I don’t think so. We all know what she looks like. There is always a photo accompanying the story. Let’s stick with the interview and leave the weird fanboy descriptors to the less “professional” corners of the internet.
I consider my high school/early college heterosexuality a phase tbh
Saaaaame. So glad I grew out of it!
Cara sidles up to me, her limbs whirling, as she flashes me a puckish grin. Her devil-may-care teeth glint in the dark bar light as her eyebrows break out into a waggish jig. “Let’s get shots,” she shouts over the noise, her limbs growing so giddy at the prospect of tonight getting rowdy that her lanky legs begin to lift into the air above her. Before I know it, Cara is whirling around the bar, all tornado, just a cackling mass of tattoos and eyebrows and confused sexuality swirling around the establishment, upending tables and knocking over drinks in an effortlessly cool, ambivalent sort of way. I’ve always heard Cara’s thing is her undeniably magnetism, but watching her whorl through this bar, her sprightly limbs drawing patrons into her kinetic mass, it becomes clear that what Cara does is create a literal magnetic field around her due to her uncontainable, frenetic orbiting. Before I can ask her more about her seemingly planetary status in a culture of super stardom, Cara absorbs one last bargoer into her tornadoentourage and barrels out the window, leaving behind shards of glass and an air of mystery. Off to another party, of course. From the look in her eyes earlier, I could tell that this was the best interview she has ever had and that she’s secretly in love with me, but that she’s not ready to settle down. So here it is, my love letter to her, published in Vogue for her and all the world to see. I know I cannot tame the wild tornado that is Cara, but I write this knowing that one day her tempest of limbs will finally stop wrapping itself around women and safely harbor itself betwixt the limbs of a man. My limbs, probably.
Comment award.
You’re amazing.
Holy shit, this was amazing.
If I wasn’t laying down when I read this I’dve fallen down. xD
Brava.
I think my favorite part is “waggish jig”
wow I love you
This is my first comment!!! Yay!! Ok, so the reporter totally wrote icky things that made my head swirl. When I read it I wondered why male reporters (and sometimes female, too) often feel it necessary to “set the scene” which really means give their opinion on the entire presence of the person. I am totally not okay with all the icky things he said about Cara, too. But if Cara isn’t super bothered by it, should we be? I know it speaks to a general misunderstanding of female sexuality and so we can definitely be upset about that, but if Cara thought there was nothing malicious, can we really be that upset? It is her body, her life, after all.
And as always, the people who are wronged are the most forgiving! At least the article didn’t affect her too much. Still, it is a reflection of media’s terrible treatment of bisexuality.
I might’ve said it before, but whenever I see a queer women celebrity’s name “trending” I hop over to AS to see it reported right. AS never disappoints.
Thank you, Cara!
I will never be tall enough to be a “confident tangle” of limbs. More like a “halting bramble.”
But kudos to her for setting the record straight.
Yeah I’m a little late to the party. I meant to address that shit though. It was that last part where the dude (shoulda known it was a dude)was like agreeing with Caras mother that her liking girls is a phase because Cara and women in general apparently are “perennially troubled” etc. And Cara kind of agreed with him too! I know why though, she did say that its only ever been females that have been able to hurt her (beeatches!). Wonder why THAT is. Keep hope alive mouth breathing prick.