Happy New Year, my dear friends; I hope you used your holiday break wisely and caught up on all the TV shows you’ve been missing. The winter hiatus is almost over and you’re running out of time to figure out what the heck the big deal is with Root and Shaw, and Clarke and Lexa, and why Jane the Virgin is the best thing on television. TV comes rushing back in earnest next week, and so I have compiled a handy list of shows that feature queer women and the exact date when they will return to your open arms.
TV Intern Karly has also recapped our TV hibernation saviors, webseries Couple-ish and  ‘Til Lease Do Us Part.
But first! I read every comment you leave for me in this column and ruminate on every suggestion you make, and these are my two main takeaways from 2015:
+ You want a real recap for a queer show for grown-ups, because not everyone is into Faking It and Pretty Little Liars.
+ You want more standalone critical thinking pieces about queer TVÂ things immediately after they happen.
I am going to make sure you have both of these things in 2016. I’m working on a plan in my brainspace now and I will tell you about it soon!
When Your Shows Are Coming Back
January
Grandfathered, Jan. 5
Pretty Little Liars, Jan. 12
Code Black, Jan. 13
Younger, Jan. 13
Arrow, Jan. 20
The 100, Jan. 21
Legends of Tomorrow, Jan. 21
Black Sails, Jan. 23
Jane the Virgin, Jan. 25
The Fosters, Jan. 25
The Vampire Diaries, Jan. 29
February
Fresh Off The Boat, Feb. 2
Grey’s Anatomy, Feb. 11
How to Get Away With Murder, Feb. 11
The Walking Dead, Feb. 14
Broad City, Feb. 17
Blindspot, Feb. 29
March and More
Rosewood, March 2
Once Upon a Time, March 6
Empire, March 30
Scream, April 20
Couple-ish
Wednesdays and Fridays on YouTube
Written by Karly
Dee and Rachel debut their couples channel, explaining/lying about how they met and fell in love. It’s awkward and cute. They even kiss, and yes it’s been gif’d on Tumblr. Dee and Rachel do a lot of couples challenges. I don’t know a lot about YouTube or couples, but this looks like a lot of fun. Especially when you can make up terrible trivia about each other because you aren’t actually dating, like Dee loving Kidz Bop (but the original gang, not the new hooligans). In real life though, things are tense. Dee and Rachel fight all the time, while Amy tries to keep the peace in the middle. Dee is still angry at Rachel for lying, so they revenge-bang strangers all over the apartment and poor Rachel has to hear it.
So, Amy and Rachel hold an intervention and Dee is ready to explode. Dee is scary when they’re angry. But later, in a sweet scene with Amy, it’s clear Dee is so mean to Rachel because they’re still angry at their ex for lying and cheating. But Amy assures Dee that Rachel is not that bad. I agree. In fact, I’ve forgiven her for lying to immigration already, haven’t you? Of course Amy’s one famous follower reblogged Dee and Rachel’s first video and now they have a bazillion subscribers. So it looks like Dee and Rachel are stuck doing the couple thing. Dee and Rachel’s couple videos are uploaded by themselves, so it’s like a show within a show! It can be frustrating that Couple-ish is taking its time introducing characters, plots, and backstories but it’s ultimately rewarding because I feel like they’re actual people. Every new episode is becoming my new favorite. They’re taking a short hiatus, but will still be uploading 6 new fake-couples videos in two weeks.
‘Til Lease Do Us Part
Monday through Friday on YouTube
Written by Karly
Til Lease Do Us Part wrapped up the season last month and I’m sad. If a whole series can be a cinnamon roll, this one would be the best and most pure. Right after we left off, Elliot skypes with her mom and her mom cuts to the chase: she wants gay grandbabies and Elliot is not getting any younger. Elliot is 21 by the way. Lexi overhears the nagging, so she naturally sits down on Elliot’s lap and introduces herself as the girlfriend. My one issue is that Elliot’s mom has no idea who she is, even though Lexi and Elliot were best friends in high school. But sure. My mom knew who my best friend was in high school, especially if I had a crush on them. Anyway, Elliot’s mom wants them to kiss. Me too, Mom, but why do you? Either way, Lexi obliges and obviously this was a huge mistake. After the skype call, Lexi wants to talk about her feelings and also make out, but Elliot refuses to kiss her again because Jess is her best friend. Her tiny, cute best friend.
Later, Elliot, Jess and Lexi go out on the town but only Elliot and Lexi come back home. Whoops, they left Jess behind. They are alone together, drunk, so they immediately start making out [in a very well soundtracked scene]. A few minutes later, Jess comes home with pizza and they try to play it cool. When Jess and Elliot wake up covered in pizza crusts at 4 p.m., Elliot wants to tell Jess what happened but they keep vomiting every few seconds. Lexi comes down the stairs with her bags: she likes Jess but it’s not working between them. Elliot blurts out that they kissed. Lexi admits she likes the both of them, but doesn’t want to hurt their friendship so she decides to leave. After she’s gone, Elliot apologizes profusely but Jess says she loves Elliot (“no homo” LOL) more than she did Lexi, and they’re still best friends as long as Elliot doesn’t hit on an her next girlfriend. They also fist bump because Elliot finally got a girl to like her. It’s the sweetest moment, even though the entire dialogue was interrupted by vomiting every few lines. I hope you don’t have a strong sympathy-gag reflex.
God I’ll miss this show. More Elliot, more Elliot!
You called til lease do us part “til death do us part”! Hahaha I thought it was a new show! Danggg
Ha, whoops! Fixed. :)
I’m excited for the possibility of more stand alone think pieces and a full fledged recap of “grown up” queer show! Thanks, Heather.
On top of the already STELLAR work that the Boob(s) article does, obviously. I know this takes a lot of time. Heather +tv recapping crew, you are all so appreciated.
Stand alone think pieces are going to be great
I’ve never heard of Couple-ish or Til lease do us part. I’m going to watch it right now!
The Walking Dead mid-season will come back on Feb. 14th (please, pretty please, keep Dr. Denise Alive).
Still no date for PoI 5th season premiere? Hello, CBS, I’m talking to you!!!!!
Thank you, Heather for the grown-up consideration.
Damn, I forgot about Black Sails. That show will premiere on January 23.
Will add! Thank you!
Don’t worry about it, there’s too much going on. My own TV schedule is a mess.
Ahh, and it seems there’s gonna be a bunch of tears in the fandom world: Rizzoli & Isles will end after this season.
I used to like Rizzoli & Isles (and the Dorothy Snarker recaps) a lot but I quit the show when the soldier boy pregnancy thing happened..
Ms. Dorothy was mad as hell about that announcement.
Honestly, Rizzoli & Isles was never my kind of show because I always knew that this ship was never gonna sail and besides July 2010 was a little late in time for me to be watching subtext (two months later Lost Girl premiered and that was my subtext confirmed death).
I am worried about Dr Denise. I really hope she makes it. And Tara too. Being a lesbian named Tara on TV is bad for your health
are you guys going to recap transparent? i’m sorry if you already addressed it, just wanted to ask because i really enjoyed the previous recaps!
Very good question
Same!
Black Sails comes back January 23rd for the Starz-owning lady lovers (and lovers of pirates)! (I only noticed it was absent because I was reading the list and I was like ah yes I recap that show and that show and that show and…wait I think I’m up to 4 a week by the end of January…)
Thanks, Punky! <3
Heather, you seem to be doing a lot! Thank you for that! We are all greatful.
And I’m excited for more stand alone “think pieces” about lgbtq television. Because while some shows may have LGBTQ characters, it doesn’t mean they are good characters or good storylines or healthy couples at all. But on the other hand, there can be a show with minor LGBTQ characters, but they are minor so gay communities don’t pay much attention to them but they are written better than the “big” lgbtq characters on television, if you get what I’m saying. So I like that we’re going to get more indepth with some things.
Y’all, should I watch Jane the Virgin? I started, I kinda hate it, but maybe if I persevere?
You’ll know right away if it’s for you! The tone of the show says the same from the pilot on!
I’m feeling the same, I started it but only watched a few episodes. I thought it was okay but didn’t love it. I really want to like it though!
Not even for Luisa and Rose? Their chemistry drew me in at first, more than the rest. Then I fell in love with the wonderful Villanueva family.
Yes obviously I did like Luisa and Rose but then they disappeared and I wasn’t as interested in the rest of the family. I wasn’t sure if they were just going to be tiny, tiny, minor characters.
Yes! It is great, Jane and her whole family are the best. Keep watching. :)
I needed this. Thank you for putting in the legwork.
“You want more standalone critical thinking pieces about queer TV things immediately after they happen.”
I am so excited for more writings on TV! Especially more critical thinking pieces, since I still sporadically re-read the essay Heather wrote about Bering and Wells and the importance of subtext because it puts so many important things into words so so well.
Thank you for putting all of this together, Heather!
I am SO EXCITED for the standalone recap for one of the adult shows. If I had a tail I would be wagging it. Fingers crossed for The Fosters. Love me some Stef and Lena
And I say that even though I’m sensing that we will have a Brallie pregnancy scare this season.
I didn’t know that “Scream” already had a premiere date for their second season. Please for Emrey.
I LOVE THE FOSTERS because I really love TV where I can watch and laugh at ridiculous teen drama and bad music and I don’t have to think. I’m also in love with Stef. I’m so glad it didn’t get cancelled.
What about “Lost Girl” on Syfy? :O
It ended after season 5 :-( I feel sad for you that you that you didn’t realise at the time
Uhm, actually, I already knew O.o
I just didn’t know when Syfy was going to air the next half of the season.
Syfy is just now getting to the end of Lost Girl? The Canadian finale was a while ago. By the time it aired I was pretty over the series due to how bad the writing had gotten but I think people who haven’t seen it yet will at least be really happy with the ending even if the rest of the season has kind of been shit.
Yup, Syfy really took its time with Lost Girl.
The mid-season premiere on SyFy is set for February 1.
Thank you :)
Maggie and Sydney on Saving Hope had another short two-episode arc in 4×10 and 4×12. Very emotional, great acting, and left open for Stacey Farber to come back when her schedule allows. You all should check it out on YouTube if you like adorable doctors being gay and in luv.
There isn’t a date for Call the Midwife yet in the States, but it’s back 1/17 on the BBC and there is a trailer with a split-second of relevant footage I’m sure Tumblr has dissected. Eeee! I just love that show to tiny bits.
YES! Call The Midwife is such a gem – Can’t recommend it enough :)
Heather you are the hero we need (and deserve tbh).
Also CBS get your shit together! At LEAST make an anouncement if you plan on airing POI in the Summer only.
Have you read spoilers/interviews about PLL, Heather? Are you excited about the new episodes or apprehensive?
Does anyone know where I can watch The Fosters online in Canada?
Download TVAddons to a device and enjoy!
Heather, you’re a gem.
If anyone’s interested, the BBC ran ‘Home Fires’ in 2015 and YES there is a queer story line!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4015216/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
Also, ‘Boy Meets Girl’ is EXCELLENT. It’s a comedy series about a couple who find love across the transgender age gap. Extremely well written and acted, I can’t recommend it highly enough.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5000634/?ref_=fn_al_tt_4
I JUST STARTED THE FOSTERS and it’s so wonderfully dramatic and lovely and sweet and every single episode makes me cry and every time Callie makes a bad decision I pound my fists on my chair and shout “WHY!!!!!”
Anyway I can’t wait to be fully caught up with it so I can talk about it on here with all of you lovely individuals!