Santa Claus is coming to town and hopefully he is bringing Carol! If not, though, Karly has added another webseries to her recapping mix, so you can spend some time with some queer women on your very own laptop screen this Christmas. Also, if you still haven’t watched Jane the Virgin, you can get caught up on the best TV show of 2015.

Jane the Virgin

Mondays on The CW at 9:00 p.m.

It’s official: Jane the Virgin is my favorite TV show of 2015. In my adult life, I’ve never watched a drama that earned my laughter and tears as much as this one. Week after week, it effortlessly weaves together half a dozen ridiculous storylines with half a dozen so-real-it-hurts storylines and wraps them up in the most hilarious narration I have ever heard (sorry, Arrested Development) and waters them with Gina Rodriguez’s tears. This week’s midseason finale was everything. And I don’t mean “everything” the way The Kids These Days say it; I mean “everything” in the sense that it was sci-fi, historical fiction, mystery, telenova, family drama,  over-the-top comedy, romance, and Very Special Christmas episode. It sounds impossible that something so eclectic could be so good, but Jane the Virgin has aired 30 episodes at this point, and not a single one has been a miss. It’s not a fluke. These writers are masterful.

Luisa is on the search for her mother in “Chapter 30,” after finding out last week that she is both: a) still alive, and b) a mob boss. (Best narration of the episode: “Speaking of telenovelas, we have not one, but two crime lords on the loose!”) With the help of Michael and his new partner (who Luisa has a crush on and probably will shag at some point this season, to be honest), they track down Luisa’s mom, Mia, to a nursing home where she was taken after she was shipwrecked, but surprise! It’s not Mia at all! Mia is Crime Lord Mutter and she’s out in the wild doing crime stuff! I’m glad this is a big plot this season because it means more of Luisa’s hijinks.

The Very Special part of this Very Special Christmas episode is that Alba finally gets her Green Card. I cried. Good grief, I cried. This through-line has been really important to the entire series, and especially important in understanding Jane’s abuela, and to see it resolved in such a heartwarming way (and on Christmas!) was exactly what my Grinchy heart needed this holiday season.

Jane is on hiatus until late January; plenty of time for you to get all caught up!

Top Chef

Thursdays on Top Chef at 10:00 p.m.

I started watching The Great British Bake Off, and I’ve got to tell you: every American cooking show (even my beloved Top Chef) is like a light bulb compared to the sunshine of amateur British chefs baking their stoic little hearts out. I do love Karen on this season, though. This week our favorite queer chef made Citrus-marinated halibut with kumquats, passion fruit caviar and avocado mousse. The judges thought it was very refreshing, which was good because it was ten thousand degrees in Palm Springs and they were on a golf course. She and her cooking partner Jeremy won the day. Grayson was sent packing, which seemed kind of inevitable, honestly, and I hope wherever she goes, no one ever forces her to cook vegan food ever again. It was a torture for her soul.

Couple-ish

Wednesdays and Fridays on YouTube

Written by Karly

On Couple-ish, Rachel pleads her case that she needs their help to stay in the country. Dee and Amy are the only friends she has, which is really sad because she’s been in Canada for all of university. Dee is pissed at Rachel for lying and would totally kick her out or have her deported. Dee is a person who chugs black coffee: there is no time for shenanigans like lying to the government. But after serious convincing and a major laugh-cry freak out about it, Dee agrees to go along with the lie. Amy says making Couples YouTube videos should do the trick. Amy assures them no one but immigration will watch their videos and I bet she’s terribly wrong about that. I’m already sensing some subtext between Amy and Rachel, but I’m not sure if it’s an attraction they don’t want to admit to, or if something has already happened between them. But I ship it. I know Kaitlyn Alexander and Sharon Belle are close in real life, so it’s amusing seeing Dee kinda hate Rachel. Now that the plot is set up, I’m excited to see what happens next.

‘Til Lease Do Us Part

Monday through Friday on YouTube

Written by Karly

This week in Til Lease Do Us Part, it became very clear that the show was created by major gay fangirls Adrianna DiLonardo and Sarah Rotella. Exhibit A: Jess, Elliot, and Lexi watch all of Lost. Exhibit B: “There is a new lesbian couple on Vampire Diaries so I had to binge watch 6 seasons to catch up” was an actual line of dialogue by Elliot, who is fast becoming a big fictional crush. I’m just saying, when Elliot and Elise Bauman’s Mackenzie become love interests in their movie, it will probably make our hearts explode. Exhibit C: they mention Pretty Little Liars almost every episode. Exhibit D-E: Jess is in love with Lexi even though it’s been a month and adopts a gender fluid kitten from neighbors.

Later, some real feelings come out during a game of Never Have I Ever. Elliot and Jess are a big BroTP, but even that bond was tested a little when Lexi revealed that she has had feelings for an ex. She refused to name her but it’s obviously Elliot because Elliot is a ray of sunshine. Jess feels the tension and decides to help Elliot find a fling, since Elliot doesn’t have a lot of experience with girls. This can only end well. The season ends next week and I’m already missing it.

Disengaged

Fridays on YouTube

Written by Karly

This month another pilot went online called Disengaged. Sydney and Jules, a very attractive couple if I do say so, have been together for 7 years and same-sex marriage has just become legal in all 50 states. But they are in a bit of rut: Jules is the spontaneous one and Sydney is much more inhibited. As Sydney prepares food for their friends to celebrate the landmark decision, Jules wants to have sex right now in the kitchen. She jumps on the counter and slips off her underwear. Then Jules tosses her underwear right on the food Sydney has been chopping. Gross.

The moment is ruined: Sydney is grossed out by Jules and Jules is “stifled and bored” by Sydney. Yikes. Of course their friends, another lesbian couple and a straight couple, arrive at that moment. Later, during dinner on the patio, their lesbian friends say it’s gay people’s responsibility to get married and if they refuse to marry it’s like refusing to vote. Double yikes. But Jules forgets being stifled and bored and asks Sydney to marry her. Sydney chokes on her wine in a panic for a minute but says yes. Immediately, their pushy friends set the location, food, and even the date. What could possibly go wrong?

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