“Blue Crush 2” Is a Horrible, Wonderful Movie

Intern Grace’s Team Pick:

The original “Blue Crush” premiered in 2002. It’s this awesome/terrible movie about three girls who are good at a) surfing, b) wearing very little clothing and c) being extremely fit. The most important thing is technically the surfing, which is pretty incredible and shot beautifully, but the plot and the dialogue and generally the things that make a movie watchable are simply not there, rendering it horrifyingly bad while also disturbingly good.

The girls are badasses, as we have pointed out, and that’s largely why the movie was successful. Also, breasts were a thing that people liked about it, I am told.

Here:

WA-BAM

OK PREPARE YOURSELF: There is a sequel. It’s ok, I don’t know why either. You cannot fathom the majesty of “Blue Crush 2” without seeing it. It circles around from “bad” to “good” and then back to “bad” before landing at “upsettingly entertaining.” You guys, they literally do a road trip montage to “Life Is a Highway.” At one point, someone actually says, “The love of the ocean brings different spirits together.” What does that even mean I don’t even. I am accruing library fines on this movie as we speak. Here is the trailer:

I’m glad Hollywood is investing in projects that really challenge audiences and bring something new to the table, you know?

If the stellar writing and acting aren’t enough to draw you in, this is also relevant to your interests because it features presumably heterosexual girls doing heterosexual things with amazing/hysterical/overt subtext. I usually hate shit like that, but it’s just so bad. I can’t even.

Also, breasts:

Also also, there is a heavily suggested polyamory situation occurring:

There was surfing as well. There are probably enough lesbian moments in it to support at least one Tumblr, though. That is how you know you have found movie greatness.

Have you ever seen “Surf Nazis Must Die”? Because that is another quality cinematic experience.

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Intern Grace

Grace Ellis has been writing and making hack-job graphics for Autostraddle since 2011 and is a co-creator and co-writer of the comic book series Lumberjanes. She is mostly an intern in name only. (Mostly.) She lives in Columbus, Ohio because why anything. Also, she wants to write the Black Widow movie and feels like if she just keeps telling people, eventually she will be allowed to do it. She has a Twitter and a Tumblr, both of which are pretty above average.

Grace has written 89 articles for us.

24 Comments

  2. Surfer girls are my #1 summer snack.
    ..or it would be. If we had summer.

    This is incredible and I’m embarrassingly excited. THANK YOU, INTERN GRACE!

  3. i never really understood my love for the first blue crush movie before…this makes it all very clear. of course it’s the breasts, not the surfing.

  4. My old man owns the first one on Blu-Ray. When I asked why he owned such a presumably awful film, the response was something like “it was really cheap!”

    I’m not sure I believe him?

    • I would put it somewhere between “Rubber,” which is the story of a homicidal car tire, and the music video for “Who Let The Dogs Out,” if that’s helpful.

  6. I love the original Blue Crush just as much as I love Stick It (managed to see both at least 4 times in theaters) and I am stoked to see this one. I don’t care if its awful I will pay $9 to watch girls in bikinis surf and make “not gay” advances on eachother any day!

    • omg — Stick It — yes. *puts it on right now* ahhh…I’m such a queermo and have a weak spot for gymnastics. They managed to make the brutality of the sport hilarious and sometimes sexy. I like the little bitchy one the best. I think I say that about a lot of movies.

  7. Oh my god. I vividly remember seeing Blue Crush in the theater when I was 12, and having to pee really badly the whole time but holding it in because I COULD NOT. LOOK. AWAY.

    Gonna have to watch this, probs with my surfer mom over some magical brownies.

    • +1 for the brownies. Also, this movie works particularly well if you imagine them saying, “dude, I’m high as fuck right now” after every line.

  10. Watching Blue Crush when I was 12 made me realize I was gay. Seriously.

    So I might need to watch this sequel :)

  11. I freaking loved Blue Crush (give me a break, I was 12). And actually, the acting in the first movie wasn’t terrible. There’s Michelle Rodriguez, and I thought Sonoe Lake was pretty good, who is a for real female surfer for Billabong (the only one in the movie I think lol) and who I met and surfed with once at a surf camp and who signed a book that I still have. There was also an undeniable gay vibe from everyone except for the lead girl.

    Blue Crush 2 doesn’t look nearly as epic, though………not gonna lie. But when are sequels ever as good as the original, especially when you’re no longer a preteen? :P But this was still hilarious/relevant to my interests (and I’m sure almost every early 20 something lesbian), so thanks for that Autostraddle haha.

  12. Is anyone bothered by the fact that the love interest magically fixes the surfboard? What the fuck. You can’t “fix” a surfboard like that!

  13. This movie was better than expected for a straight to home video release and considering they didn’t bring back any of the stars from the original…still, I really liked it, and I think Sasha Jackson was especially good as Dana.

    Also, great music in this one, hope they release an official soundtrack…really dug how they incorporated music into the beach bond fire scene (watch at http://vimeo.com/27919300) – The Dirty Heads were the perfect band to use for that surfer/beach party vibe, and “Stand Tall” is one of my favorite of their tunes.

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