In this week’s Batwoman recap, Ryan and Sophie’s frenemies-to-lovers (headcanon) journey continues! 

Previously on Batwoman, the team took down a corrupt prison CEO who was behind a series of attacks designed to flood the prison pipeline with at-risk youth, Commander Kane started his journey down a path of drug addiction, Enigma hypnotized Julia into transferring to Berlin, and Ryan helped to get Angelique out of prison but her girl got immediately kidnapped by False Face.

It’s Fast and Furious: Gotham Drift this week and while I know fuck all about cars, I do know that the cars we see speeding around Gotham in this opening are sexy AF. Members of False Face load up the cars and send them on their way. Meanwhile, Black Mask has Angelique and confirms what I thought last week; they need her to cook up more snakebite because Ocean claimed the drug was toxic if not made to his exact specifications. And since Ang was his assistant, Black Mask threatens to dissolve her body if she doesn’t get the formula right.

Sophie is power walking in a Power Pony through Crows HQ updating Ryan on the Angelique situation. I shit you not, Soph is literally snapping at random agents who aren’t doing their jobs and for the first of many times this episode, Sophie rendered me speechless. Ryan wants every single detail about her girlfriend’s (?) capture, but Sophie essentially tells her to leave it to the professionals. When the two hang up the phone, Ryan straight up refers to Soph as “Crowphie” as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. I love these frenemies-to-lovers (headcanon) so much, y’all.

“I said NO PICKLES”

“Okay babe but maybe I can just have the pickles instead, please don’t yell at me.”

Luke realizes that False Face grabbed Angelique so she can make more snakebite, and the group is stocking up on supplies by raiding pharmaceutical companies. They have everything they need except fear toxin, so Ryan figures they’ll need to run another heist to get it and that’ll give Batwoman the perfect excuse to intercept them when they try.

Meanwhile, Alice is chillin’ at Dr. Rhyme’s office when Rhyme’s 5:30 patient, Jackson, arrives. The most natural next step is for Alice to impersonate the doc, and boy howdy does she do that. She checks out Jackson’s session notes and responds with a big “Yikes” and asks Jackson who hurt him. The impersonation doesn’t get much farther because Dr. Rhyme arrives and Alice unceremoniously throws a knife at poor Jackson’s jugular. Again, it’s time for my regular ARE YOU KIDDING ME RACHEL SKARSTEN?! yelling, because the command that woman has and the emotions she’s able to convey in 30 seconds is unmatched.

I’m just saying, if my therapist reacts this way to my trauma, I’m walking out.

Enigma assumes that Alice came to her to get her Ocean memories back and admits she helped turn Alice into who she is now. Alice informs her that she doesn’t care about those memories, but she does need Enigma to help her forget her sister.

Back to Fast 22: Electric Boogaloo where the cars are lined up for the next heist. They have 4 minutes to get to the pickup before they’re burned. They don’t get very far before Batwoman cuts them off and pulls out a driver and y’all. It’s Sophie. It’s Sophie undercover. It’s Sophie undercover in braids. It’s Sophie undercover in braids driving a fast car and hey Meagan Tandy, I just want to talk for no reason at all. Both Batwoman and I are shaken to our cores, but Sophie is pissed because she got burned from the heist and lost all of the False Face intel on the burner phone. Batwoman’s “wait you’re in the middle of the heist?! Go back!” got me good like, sis, this one’s on you. Sophie says as much before walking away.

“I had ONE SHOT to audition for the queer Fast and the Furious reboot and you ruined it!”

“That’s okay. I can still make it to the ‘Baby Boy’ reboot auditions before I need to take these braids out.”

Meanwhile, Alice tells Enigma that she’s been hallucinating Kate and it’s been Kate at age 13. Enigma explains that the fact that Kate appears as a child is exactly why she shouldn’t erase her. Alice is not here for a therapy session though, and is an entire mood when she asks the doc to skip the diagnosis and get right to the treatment. Alice is so afraid to feel the emotions burning up her insides because the pain of trusting and being let down is too excruciating. Anything other than the “fix” of removing Kate from her memory would mean confronting those feelings. I say “fix” because Enigma then warns Alice that if she goes through with this, Alice would become a completely different person. Kate and Beth were literally as close as two people can be; they shared a womb, they shared a life, they shared memories, they shared traumas. Kate’s imprint is etched into Alice’s life in a way that was meant to be inextricable. Kate is Alice’s last moral compass.

“Moral compass? I don’t know her.”

And with a perfect delivery, head tilt, and glance in the direction of the man she just killed for no reason, Alice says, “well, I’d hate to lose that.” *FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: EMMY FOR SKARSTEN* As Enigma takes in the woman before her, she calls Alice a monster and for the most fleeting second, Alice looks like she gets close to having a feeling. No sooner does that happen does she immediately shut it down and lunge at the doc with her butterfly knife. Enigma suggests that Alice needs to confront Kate and make the visions disappear so they can maybe get rid of the memories without completely fucking up her psyche.

At Crows HQ, Commander Kane and a new (?) white dude are sitting in his office but honestly the only thing I got from this scene is that Sophie looks absolutely incredible and white men gonna white men. Sophie gives Kane an update on the mission and new dude says Black Mask murdered 3 of their agents. Hehe some Crows got murdered…and group of crows is…lol never mind. Kane puts Tavaroff (fine, I’ll use his name) in charge of Sophie’s mission despite the fact that he’s known to go in guns blazing. Color me SHOCKED. Kane screams at Sophie to get out when she calls him out for being “off” lately.

“I swear, if you bring one more incompetent white man in here…”

I barely recovered from Sophie’s lewk in the previous scene when we are treated to her at The Hold Up looking the absolute queerest she’s ever looked. I’m talking full slouch, blazer sleeves rolled up, pounding shots like there’s no tomorrow. *fans self* Oh, and did I forget to mention that Ryan is sitting next to her also looking gorgeous queer as all get out?! How do I send the Batwoman writers, wardrobe, and cast an Edible Arrangement because GOT DAMN. Ahem. I digress.

Sophie updates Ryan on her cover being blown and for once, Ryan calls her “Soph” instead of “Crowphie” and I’m not saying this means anything, but WILDMOORE LET’S GO! Soph tells Ryan that the new guy is going to burn this whole thing down and that she needs a new undercover asset who knows HER way around a car because False Face is running a new fear toxin heist as soon as they can find a new driver. Obviously Ryan volunteers herself with the biggest and most endearing smile I’ve ever seen. Sophie’s exasperation is hotter than it has any right to be, but she knows she has no other option, so she shakes Ryan’s hand and then I pass out.

“Does that combination of earnest smile and ungodly good looks actually work for you?”

“I don’t know Soph, you tell me.”

Funnily enough, I came to just as Enigma was starting to put Alice under. Enigma asks what Alice feels and before Alice can give a smart ass retort, the doc tells her not to be a smart ass. She learns quickly, that one. Alice feels a warm hand and is immediately transported to the backseat of the car on the day of their accident. Kate takes a polaroid selfie of them and reveals the photo to be 13 year old versions of both sisters. Alice knows that this Kate is a paradox because she’s the one who gave her the idea to erase Kate but she also is Kate so Alice asks her to leave. HalluciKate begs her sister to really look at the photo because maybe she’ll see what she does; that Beth has so much love to give. The walls that Alice built are strong though, and she breaks her sister’s heart and tells her she only pretended to love her because that’s what sisters are supposed to do, but she actually felt nothing. Alice believes she was born with a bad brain only capable of hate and bitterness, but Kate believes in Beth. And I do too. Alice uses the camera to snap Kate out of existence, Ocean appears in the driver’s seat, and Kate returns. When Alice wakes up, she accuses Enigma of toying with her.

“Just because I’m not real doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings, damn.”

Back on the Gotham streets, Ryan and Sophie inspect Mary’s car because she’s lending it to them for the heist. We don’t actually see Mary in this episode, but her presence is felt in Sophie’s warning that even one scratch on the car would result in Mary throwing them both in the trunk. Ryan is taking this all in stride and cracking jokes about not knowing how cars work, but Sophie is all business. She tells Ryan she’s going to need to execute serious street racing moves and ace an interview with False Face before they let her drive for them. And then Sophie says a bunch of car jargon while wearing leather and I don’t know, I blacked out again. Once Ryan’s hired, she’ll follow the coordinates, pull over, and put a tracker in one of the canisters so they can find Angelique. Since they no longer have anyone on the inside, Sophie enlists someone to help them set up an interview.

It’s Luke! For some reason I assumed that these three had been in a room together previously, but they haven’t and both Ryan and Luke masterfully pretend they don’t know each other. Luke sets Ryan up with a new license and a new name, Robyn Wilde, and spoofs a text to False Face recommending Robyn for the job. Once Sophie bounces to gas up the car (I think she’s trying to kill me with this line delivery), Luke gives Ryan comms for the two of them, the tracker, and a portable Batmobile AI. Ryan adorably thought her driving had gotten better, but it was actually the new AI Luke installed. Luke goes on the record as saying he doesn’t think it’s a good idea for Ryan to be lying and working with Sophie because she’s going to figure out that she’s Batwoman.

It’s the slouch and the leather jacket with the pride flag in the background for me.

Meanwhile, Alice is doing a lot of pacing and stressing for someone who claims not to have any feelings. She doesn’t understand why Ocean showed up in her dream if she wasn’t thinking about him. You see it turns out, HalluciKate was right, Alice is actually capable of emotion and attachment. Alice doesn’t buy it though because she felt nothing when she killed Ocean.

Ryan’s got a fast car and a ticket to anywhere. Well, at least she’s got a ticket to the next heist because she aces her road test and interview, and gets a cool dragon mosaic mask for her efforts.

No joke, I would give her anything she asked for.

As she waits for the heist info, Ryan gets a call from Sophie and SHE HAS HER IN HER PHONE AS “CROWPHIE” and I have never been more delighted. Apparently there’s a False Face drone flying over the heist route, so they need to audible otherwise they’ll know something’s up as soon as Ryan pulls over to plant the tracker. Once the goods are loaded into the cars, Luke drives remotely while Ryan successfully plants the tracker and Crows show up and start shooting at them.

I can’t wait to see what emoji Ryan gives Crowphie in her Contacts.

Ryan gets back to her apartment and is all smiles and tooting metaphorical horns for a Sophie who is nowhere to be seen. Quick pause to note that Ryan yells “come bow down to YOUR GIRL!” thinking Sophie is there. Just noting that. Anywho, Soph asked Luke for the tracker data and told him to meet Ryan at her place and the two realize that Sophie is going to take down False Face on her own.

Back at the offices of Safiyah’s fancy out-of-network lobotomist (shout out to the Batwoman writers for this GENIUS), poor Jackson’s dead body is just chillin’ while Alice asks Enigma to cut even deeper to get rid of Ocean. In her dream, she’s making out with him in that subway car. Dream Ocean wants an apology and explanation for killing him, but before she can respond, Alice is pulled back to reality by the current of the real Ocean (I’m so sorry). He’s alive and he is very pissed off. I mean, same, bruh.

He calls out Alice’s subpar assassin skills for not noticing that Safiyah insisted Alice use a very specific blade to kill Ocean. A blade that she dipped in Desert Rose so Ocean wouldn’t actually die. Sidebar, I wonder how Tatyana’s doing? How long is Safiyah going to keep her “dead”? That’s a question for another day because Ocean asks Alice again why she killed him. She tearfully tells him it was the only way to get her sister back, and then she immediately hits him with Enigma’s cane. The doctor says “Mockingbird Anew” and gives them their memories back.

It’s been awhile since I’ve had in-person therapy but I feel like this isn’t it…

Sophie apparently has not seen one TV show or movie because she’s at the False Face hideout ALONE. She manages to take out one guard before Black Mask catches her and calls out the lack of coordination between Batwoman and the Crows. Just as Black Mask is about to shoot Sophie, Batwoman throws a batarang and the two fight. In the scuffle, Batwoman bleeds all over the place which I’m sure is fine. Batwoman and Sophie demand to know where Angelique is so Black Mask brings up a live feed of her where one of his goons is instructed to shoot her if Wildmoore doesn’t let him go. I saw a lot of this on Twitter last night but come on, y’all had Black Mask with his guard down and you didn’t just…unmask him?!

“Okay, you might have a point about our lack of coordination, but we make up for it in style.”

Black Mask checks on Angelique’s process and tries to give her the first new dose of snakebite with zero regard for her sobriety. Plus, she tells him that Ocean never gave her his full technique so she had to guess and there’s a chance this formula could be deadly. She buys herself some more time and offers to help Black Mask find Ocean.

Speaking of Ocean, he tells Alice that he’s in town on a mission from Safiyah to find the last Desert Rose plant. Alice asks the question on all of our minds, “Y’all didn’t have a seed bunker or nothing?!” Poor planning aside, Safiyah thinks Batwoman has the plant and Ocean’s going to try to get it back. But Ocean also wants to know how Alice feels about him now what with her stabbing him making her intentions a bit murky. She deflects his question about whether or not she regrets it by saying Enigma called her a monster. Alice keeps doing this thing where she takes others’ assessments of her character as truth rather than face the discomfort of seeing a version of herself she’s afraid of. Many people would be afraid of the monster inside them, but that monster is safe for Alice. That monster protects her from getting hurt. But there are moments when she starts to let her guard down and you can see Beth peeking through. It happens here right before Alice kisses Ocean; she gets a soft and vulnerable look in her eyes before letting herself feel something, if only for a moment.

Sophie goes to examine Mary’s car and notices the bullet holes that surely won’t be covered by insurance. She also notices the communication device Ryan placed in the car.

At the warehouse, Tavaroff looks over the security footage of Batwoman and Black Mask fighting and takes her blood from the scene which could be very super not good for our girl Ryan.

Back at Crows HQ, Sophie hooks up the comms to her laptop and hears Luke talking to someone about the Batmobile. And that someone replies that they could really use their Batsuit right about now and it’s in that moment that Sophie realizes that she has yet again fallen in love with Batwoman. Just kidding, but she does discover that Ryan is Batwoman and I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see how this plays out.

“I’m starting to think I DO have a type…”

No Mary this week, but still an incredible episode with more Meagan Tandy goodness than I could have hoped for! Personally, I’m ready for Ryan to find a focus other than Angelique, and I’m hoping that comes in the form of more Wildmoore team-ups! We’ve got another break next week so I’ll see you all here on May 2nd!

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