Nic is recovering from some surgery this week, so our TV Team is filling in on Batwoman for her while she rests up and heals up — she’ll be back next week! We couldn’t do justice to Nic’s work with the show, so here’s a super quick summary and a screencap recap for you!
On last night’s Batwoman, “Fair Skin, Blue Eyes,” Ryan is forced to confront a traumatic memory from her past. While the whole world was out searching for missing Beth Kane, going door to door and demanding answers, Ryan was abducted by this psychotic middle aged white woman named The Candy Lady who kept showing up at the comic shop and luring kids into her van with jelly beans. She always took Black kids, foster kids, kids that were always slipping through the cracks and that no one would go looking for. Luckily for Ryan, she’d made friends with a little leather jacket-wearing lesbian in her foster home, and her name was Angelique. When a young Black child goes missing in this week’s episode, Ryan knows just where to look, and finds herself facing off against The Candy Lady again! Only this time, she’s a fully grown adult with serious martial arts training and she rightfully beats the literal hell out of this garbage woman, talking ’bout, “Remember me? I’m the girl you couldn’t break.”
Sophie and Alice, meanwhile, are galavanting around town and staring at each other very intently and getting their faces awfully close together, as they search for Kate. Alice keeps being like, “Ugh, why don’t you just trust me?” And Sophie keeps being all, “Are you serious right now with that question?” Their investigating leads them to the lab of someone named Ocean, where they find a leather jacket-wearing thief with the exact amount of eyeliner that you know she’s queer. She escapes, but leaves behind a very obvious clue! It’s her hotel key! With her room number written on it!
Alice flashes back to a guy she knew one time named Ocean, back when her hair was brown like Kate’s and she presumably was not yet slicing off some people’s faces and putting those faces on other people’s faces.
Ryan’s flashbacks turn up Angelique in the present day. And guess what? She was the robber of the lab who got in that fight with Alice and Sophie! The one with the eyeliner! Well, and she’s like, “What do you want, jerk?” And Ryan’s like, “Well, for starters I took down the Candy Lady. And for seconders, to be honest, some smooching.”
“Wow, you’re beaut—” “Do not.”
Stepping out of the Batmobile so clean, even Batman neva looked this good!
I wonder, when Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird play one-on-one, who really loses?
You ever heard of Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy?
No name jelly bean?
I bet your house gets egged every year on Halloween.
Hey listen, no big deal or whatever, but, like, do you want to be my best friend in the entire world or nah?
A comic book/record store still in business in 2021? Obviously a front for something.
You love your little power games.
Yes, and so do you.
Why is “cannibal” trending on Twi—oh, gross, no, why did I click on that?
You ever read the Bible? I like Song of Songs: I will climb the palm tree and take hold of its fruit!
Fruit is a metaphor for boobs.
We’re not saying we ship it but also… nah, it’s too late! We ship it!
I am a gay tween, and in case you missed it, they put rainbow barrettes in my hair. The subtlety!
Every 13-year-old “bad girl best friend” in a leather jacket grows up to be a homosexual. And that’s on Jodie Foster.
Sophie just unbuttoned her shirt’s top button for the first time in her life; you need to go.
You said we were going to watch Buffy!
Say Joss Whedon’s name to me one more time!
Ryan Murphy presents American Horror Story: Murder House, Arrowverse Edition
How many times do I have to tell Anissa that if she’s going to tie me up, she can’t take a break halfway through for a Snickers and a LaCroix!
We told you! To stop saying! Joss Whedon’s! Name!
Ooh lab equipment! Wanna make some poison? Or a bomb?
I’ve gotta gay—go, I mean. I’ve gotta go.
Hello? I heard someone hear say Tom Brady, and not Serena Williams, is the GOAT? Come out, I just want to talk.
Ryan, Nic called, she said she still hasn’t forgotten about your Kryptonite wound!
“How about we do that 90s girl movies thing where we dance around in our underwear together and sing into a hairbrush?”
— Blushes —
Now. Where’s the person who wrote Tamsin’s ending on Lost Girl?
Thinking about her* (*the June 2020 Janelle Monaé cover of Gay Letter when she displayed just a hint of visible armpit hair)
You can’t possibly plan to win the hearts and minds of every Autostraddle reader just by standing there!
Can’t I tho? You’ve seen my face.
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That Song of Songs reference is *chef’s kiss*. I guess I have to watch Batwoman now.
I watched the ep twice and did NOT catch that the woman in the lab that Sophie, then Alice, busted into, was the later-seen Angelique. Argh, I’m slippin’…
“We’re not saying we ship it but also… nah, it’s too late! We ship it!”
Damn [those who claim Mary is] straight!
This show gets better (almost, like Ep2 better than 3) week. And can we say something about that haunting closing song? I used my missing-Angelique second viewing to note the song in the captions, and then find it on YT. It’s here! “Found A Home” (AG feat Nilu) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo-lxy2tVgY
Excellent screencaptionification. Y’all get a gold star.
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I am genuinely intrigued by how the writers are setting up Alice and Ryan with rhyming, intertwining backstories.
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So, are Sophie and Alice roommates now?
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How many lesbians are in the cast now?
No, seriously, I’ve lost count. It seems Gotham has as many sapphic women as the British navy has orphans /obscure musical reference
This episode made me EMOTIONAL and the chemistry between Angelique and Ryan immediately was… *shiversss*
Not me fully shipping Sophie and Alice when there are eligible non-psycopaths around. Something something women disarming each other and fighting over carbs. idk My clown nose is securely affixed to my face.
Ryan and Mary becoming roommates is all I’ve wanted since they met and to have it so soon is just brilliant.
At this point, Gotham might as well be called Gaytham and I am so grateful.
Get well soon, Nic!
“back when her hair was brown like Kate’s and she presumably was not yet slicing off some people’s faces and putting those faces on other people’s faces”
hasn’t she been doing that since she was thirteen? albeit not of her own volition at first.
also no love for Alice casually EATING A PLANT LEAF?
Yes, i was a little confused by the flashback! It reminded me of when we got alternate universe Beth for a little while. And Alice seemed confused by it too which makes me think that something more than a simple memory is going on. Maybe something she doesn’t consciously or fully remember?
And Alice licking the bell pepper, eating the plant leave and then sitting down to gnaw on an entire baguette were some of my favorite visual moments in this ep.
Excellent episode yet again! I ship every woman with every other woman. It’s amazing! Very excited for Angelique and the potential romance and angst she brings but I’m definitely shipping Ryan and Mary too.
omg it SLAYED me when Ryan found Mary’s sex toys! I think we need to get Carolyn to do another of her great articles on which sex toy each of the characters would choose. LOL
Hoping for a quick and easy recovery for you, Nic! I also loved the Alice and Sophie parts this episode! And TV team your captions are exquisite as always. I too often find myself thinking of those June 2020 Janelle Monae photos showing off her armpit hair.
I didn’t expect to ship Mary and Ryan but…I ship them!
They have so chemistry!
Wishing Nic a speedy recovery. Love the decision to go with screencaps in the interim. That Sophie’s top button one killed me.
I love the Ryan and Mary developments! Mary has always been my favorite, and her “Hello Ryan would you like to move into my batcave, my bar, my apartment and my heart forever?” reaction is VERY relatable.
I’m calling it: Ryan’s gonna fall back down the rabbithole w/ her Bad Girl Ex (bad girls too often being addictive that way, knowmsayin).
But one way or another, she’s gonna tire of that drama, and then Mary. Is. Right. There. To pick up the pieces of Ryan’s broken heart (which Mary will be only too happy to do!).
I mean, no one is immune to either of their charms, soooo…
thanks