Carmen, Contributing Editor
Brad Belt in Black
When I first came out, I bought all-leather everything, and all in the same shade of brown. The first thing I ever bought from the men’s section was also part of that identity overhaul: a beautiful, simple, brown leather belt. But that belt has since met its demise (RIP, JK it is still in my room because I will #hoardforever), and lately I’m moving into an “ugh, I’m just so fucking cool” all-black moment in my life. And thus, a girl needs a new belt this year. And that girl is me, just for reference.
Vobaga Sweater
In 2009, a girl on the American University shuttle asked me if I was “headed to a chemistry-themed party,” which abruptly ended my love affair with oversized sweaters and glasses being present on my person simultaneously. The wounds have since healed, and I’m back in the ill-fitting sweater game (with the leggings collection to prove it). I’m trying to look really cute when I visit Geneva in Vancouver so I figure I should stock up on these aforementioned sweaters sooner rather than later.
Moleskine
Now that I have a job, I find I need more blank pages in my life for dreaming up new projects, drawing flowcharts for my day-to-day tasks, and doodling while I listen to NPR at my desk. Might as well make it a Moleskine so I can be pretentious and trendy at every single staff meeting.
Diner Mugs Set
I love diners (Jersey girl). I love mugs (my mother’s child). And mostly, I love solid colors and consistency. Hence, my desire for a set of retro / classic diner mugs is in full-gear this season.
Chelsey, Editorial Assistant
La Mer Oversized Vintage Watch
Even though I have super tiny, child-sized wrists, I insist on wearing massive watches. And I will never stop. I really like the teal color of the strap on this one, and La Mer watches have really beautiful faces.
Who’s That Squirrel Cardigan
At May A-Camp I discovered that I have a hidden (even to me) love and admiration for squirrels. I like to observe them in different regions and climates and see the different types and weights and habits of the squirrels there. I also am obsessed with cardigans, so this is just the most perfect article of clothing I have ever seen and I need it.
Journey Journal
On December 26th I will embark on my very first long distance road trip in order to move myself from Florida to California. This journal would enable me to keep track of this milestone in the most adorable, organized way. It even contains placeholders for photos, meals eaten and sights seen! Exciting!
Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Monopoly
Although I haven’t watched Classic Who yet (I need to get on this, because I was playing Doctor Who Quiz Up earlier for my sister and got SO MANY wrong, I was ashamed), I really want this game. I love Monopoly and I love Doctor Who and I love beating my girlfriend at games, and since she doesn’t watch the show, this is a way for me to do that easily.
DeAnne Smith, Contributor
As I write this, I’m sitting under a cozy, homemade, plaid flannel blanket with a big mug of tea at my side. It’s getting dark out, the streets are covered in snow, and my shelves are stocked with cheap books and interesting whiskey. I mean, interesting books and cheap whiskey. My point: there’s not much I’m wanting for. Materially, that is. I mean, if I could online order a sense of emotional stability and the ambition to get off this couch, I’d be all over it. Who’s with me?
That said, there are a few things catching my eye this holiday season. You know Hyperbole and a Half, right? The award-winning humor blog/web comic? You probably already love Allie, that cripplingly self-conscious and intrepid explorer of human weirdness. Well, did you know that Hyperbole and a Half is a book?! Because it is. It’s a real, tangible thing you can hold in your arms and smooch and hug. I mean, read. You can read it.
Hyperbole and a Half
Hyperbole and a Half is good for the soul and you know what else is?
Faber-Castell 24-piece Watercolor Pencils
Drawing. Yeah. Really. I rediscovered this when I was spending a lot of time with my 5-year-old niece. We got into a habit of drawing before bed, and it’s friggin’ relaxing. You don’t even have to be good at it. You can just do it! You can just enjoy things! No one’s judging you! Have fun! (These last four sentences double as general self-affirmations, whether or not you’re drawing.)
Ultimate Gourmet Salt Collection Set of 11
I love salt. There’s no simpler way to say it. I love it. Just today, I’ve chosen the foods I’ve eaten specifically because I wanted to put salt on them. (Smoked salt from New Zealand over avocado and Icelandic sea salt with seaweed on my bastardized bruschetta.) Didn’t people used to barter with salt and fight wars over it? Wasn’t human blood shed over salt? Because I get that; I really do. Maybe too much salt could be bad for you. I don’t know you. But me, I have super low blood pressure and an almost-dead-level resting heart rate. I’m like a turtle. Like a salt-licking turtle.
Moleskine Messages Postal Notebook
And then there’s this. It’s a Moleskine notebook that turns into a letter that turns into an envelope. It’s words or drawings that turn into romantic correspondence that turn into a concrete little piece of postal love. It’s perfect. It could be perfect. Write me. We could be perfect together.
Lizz, Fashion/Style Editor
The Healing Blade Infectious Disease Card Game
The Healing Blade is an infectious disease card game where you battle your opponent using the real world principals of bacteria and antibiotics. Yes. This is a nerd card game for nerdy med students. I want it so badly. I’m a big fan of Dominion and also a big fan of not flunking out of med school so this game seems like a fun option!
This Cat Ring
I love goofy rings in the shapes of animals or funny inanimate objects. I bought a lot of these types of rings a few summers ago, but now my collection is in need of refreshment!
Light Alarm Clock
I’m not good at getting out of bed. Not at 9am, not at 7:30am and certainly not at 5:45am before the sun comes up. With that in mind I would just kill for one of theses sunshine alarm clocks designed to wake you up with light. It really plays into my fantasy of waking up Disney princess style with the birds chirping and styling my hair.
Doctor’s Day Off Bag
How cute is this bag?! And it’s called “Doctor’s Day Off.” I mean. Clearly this is a need.
A Good Vegetable Peeler
Why is a good vegetable peeler so hard to find? My vegetable peeler sucks. Actually every vegetable peeler I’ve ever known has sucked. How am I supposed to make latkes without a good potato peeler. Guys, I can’t live like this, but how often am I on vegetable peeler specific shopping trips? Never. So like, please someone just buy me one so I can stop complaining about this.
Ali, Geekery Editor
Bananagrams
Have I disclosed on Autostraddle before that I used to go to a gay board game night, and the only reason that I stopped going was because I moved too far away from it? No? Well here is my confession. Even with my board game obsession, I have still somehow managed to not play Bananagrams and everyone has told me that I must do so. Plus I sing the name of the game, Gwen Stefani style: B-A-N-A-N-A-GRAMS!
An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth: What Going to Space Taught Me about Ingenuity, Determination, and Being Prepared for Anything by Chris Hadfield
I adore whimsical Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield. He sung Rocket Man on the ISS and told us a bunch about what it’s like to live in space. I will probably finish this book in, like, an hour, because I will not stop reading it. My eyes, they will eat the words.
This Weird Skull Coin Bank
The way I see it, this will solve two problems for me: 1) my coins are all in an ugly candy dish that I hide under my bead and 2) I have a pretty consistent desire to act out scenes from Hamlet.
Rachel, Senior Editor
D&K Winter Seamless Fleece Leggings
When Christmas comes around, literally 100% of my brainpower is devoted to trying to keep my body temperature up. I feel like this was the year that everyone else discovered fleece leggings, but I knew about fleece leggings before they were cool, and also would love to be gifted some fleece leggings.
Cuisinart Stainless Steel Electric Kettle
Also, because I’m a spoiled tea-obsessive, I’m really coveting this electric kettle that you can set to different temperatures for different kinds of tea.
Silence + Noise Vegan Leather Bomber Jacket
In keeping with my desires to be warm and also look gay (since the undercut Katrina gave me at A-Camp 2.0 grew out), I’m super into this bomber jacket as well.
Canon EOS Rebel T3
In a total surprise move, I have also found myself really obsessed with this beginner-level Canon DSLR camera despite almost no previous interest in photography; I think I’ve convinced myself that if I take really nice original photos for stories I can make it onto Longform. Is this true? Probably not, but it would be nice to have a chance to find out!
Pug Kigurumi
Lastly, I don’t think I need to explain why I need this.
Riese, Editor-in-Chief/CEO
Alarm Clock & CD Player
At any given time, there’s a 35% chance that I know where my phone is and a 75% chance that it’s dead. Sometimes if it’s not already dead when I go to sleep, it’s dead when I get up in the morning — after having overslept ’cause my phone died before my alarm went off. For these reasons and many others (including the fact that I think starting & ending my day with an electronic communication device is probs unhealthy), I need an alarm clock, the good old-fashioned kind. Furthermore, we have a lot of CDs, and nothing to play them on! So this item would accomplish both of those things and also look really cool.
Hard Tail Long Legging
My leggings have so many holes in them it’s a really good thing I bike to the gym in the morning before most human beings are out and about.
1,000 Artist Journal Pages: Personal Pages and Inspirations (1000 Series)
The Journal Junkies Workshop: Visual Ammunition for the Art Addict
I like to look at things.
Sappho by the sea : an illustrated guide to the Hamptons
I NEED THIS BOOK. I NEED IT. I read about this book here and realized immediately that I needed it for myself.
CUNT snapback
DUHHHHH
We R Memory Keepers
I always like having different kinds of decorative paper for ‘zines and cards and other things I like to do for fun involving cutting and pasting. We R Memory Keepers makes some cute ones, especially the “distressed” kind.
Laneia, Executive Editor
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Printed Spandex Leggings in Paint Splatter
I NEED MORE LEGGINGS. MORE LEGGINGS FOREVER. LEGGINGS ‘TIL I DIE.
Gotta Blast T-Shirt
This is true. This is an honest, true shirt.
Alaska: The Last Frontier Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3
Oh my god I am sick of living in the suburbs oh my god. This show is my escape. I’m in love with Eve! I want to be her friend/neighbor. I want a tractor and an outhouse and a caribou in my freezer. Maybe several caribou? Isn’t that how they roll in Alaska — like six-deep in caribou? God I love this show.
Afield: A Chef’s Guide to Preparing and Cooking Wild Game and Fish
I want to eat more fish but I am so scared to cook fish! I’m scared to buy fish and prepare it, and I haven’t actually been fishing since 2002 maybe. This book will probably come in very handy after I move to Alaska.
Pete Nelson Collection: Treehouse Calendar, Treehouses of the World, New Treehouses of the World
I feel for treehouses the same as I feel for leggings, which is MORE, FOREVER, ‘TIL I DIE. I think by next fall I’ll be living in a treehouse in Alaska wearing leggings and eating salmon and listening to Bon Iver while I wait for Eve to come over so we can make canned vegetables. That is my dream, Autostraddle. That is my dream.
Kaitlyn, Contributing Editor
Since I moved into my apartment a few months ago, I’ve had some struggles with my internet. It’ll just go out for a few days at a time, leaving me in that awful place where I can’t use Hulu or Netflix so instead I just re-watch The L Word (yes, I own the whole series) and mourn Dana’s death again and again. It’s really unhealthy. So during the most recent disconnected period, I decided to do something really crazy: Read books. On my iPad. Which I never use anymore because I got a new computer, but I still pay for data every month, so I probably should find some way to incorporate it into my daily life, right?
All of this is my fancy way of saying that I’d love some iTunes gift cards so I can get more books to read. Because if I keep buying them for myself at this rate, I’m going to go through my grocery money real fast.
After spending approximately all of my money this month buying two pairs of winter boots, I realized that my trusty winter socks were wearing awfully thin. I stocked up on SmartWool socks my freshman year of college, but the five pairs I bought on sale at the L.L. Bean outlet are ready to retire.
The best thing about SmartWool socks is their durability. The second-best thing about them is that they come in all kinds of patterns and lengths, meaning I can wear them with my cheap pleather ankle boots and be just as warm and colorfully fashionable as if I were wearing Moon Boots.
Because I’m all about utility these days, I’ll also be asking for a new carryall bag this holiday season. I have one small purse for my wallet and keys, but I usually toss that inside a larger bag so I can take lunch, headphones, etc. to work with me. If I go on a short trip, it generally doubles as a carry-on, too. The Truly Gritty and Gorgeous Bag from ModCloth has great reviews, and it seems big enough to hold just about everything I could need. Add brown leather details to the bag’s grey fabric, and I don’t have to feel guilty for carrying a black bag with brown shoes or vice versa!
Hansen, DIY/Food Editor
Let’s Run Away print – Most days, all I want to do is run away. Being the most impulsive person in the world, this isn’t actually out of the realm of possibility. This poster could replace the dodgy world map I have hanging up already and be something pretty on my wall instead! Then I could plan out all my future travels in style.
Composition Rainbow Box Set by Scout Books – I love notebooks and I love rainbows and I love recycling and natural dyes. These amazing Scout composition books combine all of these traits, and would clearly make me the gayest grad student ever. That sounds awesome to me. Plus they’re small, so they will fit in my purse.
Lelo’s Soraya – Oh gosh, it’s actually very nerve wracking for me to talk about sex toys with anyone but my partner, but this is the prettiest vibrator I’ve ever seen. For being as shy as I may be, I also have this really terrible habit of accidentally leaving toys out where people can find them, and I feel like there’s a tiny possibility they might mistake the Soraya for a gorgeous piece of art? Maybe? Plus, the Soraya isn’t just pretty. I just so happen to know that it’s really amazing.
Stitch Upon the Stars Calendar – This calendar lets you embroider constellations every month in glow-in-the-dark thread. This is basically everything I could want in a calendar: pretty, stars, crafting, glow-in-the-dark.
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mey i am 100% with you on the mykki blanco love. when she first uploaded wavvy, i would listen to it every. single. day. on my to and from work commute for two whole months to the point where i could now recite those verse backwards i think? motherfucking rookie of the year
look at how seriously everyone else took this assignment, i’m really glad i didn’t go with my original plan of 5 different nicolas cage body pillows.
Hyperbole and a Half book is also on my list!
I liked it so much
tl;dr: moleskines, kitchen gadgets, PJs that look like adorable animals, luggage, space things
also TEA, brianna. man, you’re slipping.
and leggings, I forgot leggings. god, where was my head.
LEGGINGS FOREVER. LEGGINGS ‘TIL I DIE.
I didn’t know Doctor Who Monopoly was a thing!! Now I know, and it’s a thing I need!!!
I preordered Hyperbole and a Half and I did not regret it one bit.
ALSO I feel like someone should just get Vanessa a very nice and cozy set of handkerchiefs for her feelings. I tried to remember to carry a hanky in my pocket last camp I was at in case I ran into someone with a lot of feelings. Unfortunately, when I had feelings, I had forgotten one, and when I ran into a girl with feelings, I was drunk and forgot it was in my pocket and told her terrible jokes instead.
also you can flag with them SO
you are the sweetest human alive. formally requesting a set of hankies and an explanation about what the heck i’ll be flagging if i use them…
Here’s a guide to that if it helps! :)
(I’m not sure if it’s just me not seeing it / my computer not showing it, but those first few words are a link!)
That sounds all adorable.
DeAnne- ideas for using salt with espelette chili pepper salt? Just got some as a gift to take home to my vegan BFF (who is the hardest person to shop for, not because she is vegan) and I know if I don’t give her ideas for it then it will probably sit on a shelf until her cats find it and decorate the kitchen floor with it.
It is taking all the self control i posses not to buy the nic cage pillow. my not-as-ironic-as-i-let-people-think-it-is love for nic cage knows no bounds.
there are SO MANY DIFFERENT NIC CAGE PILLOWS ON AMAZON at least 10 different designs I AM NOT EVEN JOKING YOU
i believe in you, you can do this
SO I MIGHT HAVE JUST BOUGHT THIS ONE:
http://www.amazon.com/Custom-Nicolas-Dreams-Pillowcase-Standard/dp/B00E2QD1HC/ref=pd_sim_hg_4
thank you kade for inspiring this purchase.
I love seeing what my teammates want for Christmas because everyone is the cutest.
Love all this but the smudge stick. Kinda highly appropriative.
Haha I know! That’s why it’s on MY wish list! Probs would never buy it for myself but if my mother or girlfriend happen to be reading…..
You’re brown! Agh. Missed that. Sorry. You’re golden. Also, it’s weird that Amazon is selling “smudge sticks.” I guess you really can get anything on Amazon.
(For the record, I don’t know much about them. My ndn grandma’s healer person uses something like them, and I know a bunch of buddhist Vietnamese that use something like them. I just side eye the hell out of white hipsters who try to use them)
Aw, nobody wants a PS4 (that’s kinda what I’d like, personally)? Or even an X-Box One? =)
For peelers, I have three, but I usually use this one, and it’s worked great for me.
I’m tempted by a PS4 after yeaaaaars of being an Xbox person but it’s a big life decision, y’know? Also I did contemplate adding a couple of console RPGs to the list – Assassin’s Creed IV and Skyrim Legendary, to be exact – but I am still mourning the TERRIBLE end of the Mass Effect trilogy so it’ll take me a while to learn to trust again.
my girlfriend wants an X-Box!
so do i because the DVD drive on my laptop eats things and we have no way to watch DVDs and I think you can do that on an x-box right
i don’t know how to play video games except mario kart and duck hunt
Which peeler!?! Important.
This all looks amazing! The space print stuff especially. Notebooks and animal print stuff does seem to be the way to the hearts of most of the Autostraddle staff!
we’re a predictable bunch. a snuggly and prone to writing our feelings predictable bunch, but predictable nonetheless ;)
I’m fairly surprised only one sex toy made it onto the list – and that it was possibly the shiest human who put it there. You win, Hansen.
RIGHT?! THANKS FOR LEAVING ME ALONE OUT THERE YOU GUYS
Hansen, I write about the sex toys I have/want ALL THE TIME. And I did the lube guide this year. I figured I’d take a break. :0)
I was thinking that too while reading this! xD
My wish list:
1. A good book about intersectionality – recommendations?
2. A thermos
3. A brew kit
… I wouldn’t be adverse to a lady in a Santa hat falling out of the sky
And got my Autostraddle pin and shirt today (like super fast, too, from the other side of the country), so the self-gifting has begun!
Almost anything by bell hooks! Also Sara Ahmed, as is up in my list, and Audre Lorde. Check out Carmen’s Feminist Gift Guide.
Danke! I am woefully behind on reading bell hooks, and did look at the Feminist Gift Guide longingly. Let’s say that you are a totally newbie and have a limited attention span/time for non-Autostraddle articles and things that are not related to your grad school thesis. If you had to recommend ONE book as a user friendly starting point for daydreaming about these issues on your walks home, which one would it be?
Zami is one of my favourite books of all time! Plus since you mentioned that you’re in grad school, I think you’ll appreciate having something written in a non-academic way for your free time.
Can’t reply directly to your suggestion — but thanks! I love Audre Lorde’s poetry, so I can’t imagine loving her other work as well.
I really cannot recommend the ‘Hyperbole and a Half’ book enough. It is pure, undistilled hilarity in book form.
Also seconding Mey’s recommendation for the Batwoman trade. She’s a great character and JH Williams’ art is stunningly beautiful. Seriously, did anyone else get the first ‘Sandman: Overture’ issue? I just sat there and stared at that thing, it was so pretty.
“I love miniature things, writing letters, and sending mail.”
OMG ME TOO! Jamie, you have the best taste!
“I hate wearing pants. Honestly it’s the worst. The best moment of the day is when you get home from work or school or whatever the heck you’ve had to do that day that involves the cruel torture of putting on pants, because once you’re home you can finally take off your pants!”
Vanessa, it’s like you’re speaking to my soul
i’m so glad someone else understands <3
“You can just do it! You can just enjoy things! No one’s judging you! Have fun! (These last four sentences double as general self-affirmations, whether or not you’re drawing.)”
Beyond perfect!!!
racheeeeeeeel i hope you make someone you get the T3. this is the most expensive single thing i’ve ever bought for myself (with the bag and memory cards and. no joke i started sweating in best buy when i handed the cashier my card. legitimately sweating. but like rachel. it’s so fun. in fact it’s so fun i still sweat with excitement when i use it. hot sweaty fun camera.
this was v validating thank you lauren
I would make a mention of the T3i as it’s a bit better(specially in terms of speed and video capabilities), and if fact have seen in commercials going for a pretty nice price bundled with a memory card and bag.
I kind of had that swearing moment when I was buying a tv, but now I couldn’t be more relaxed about having it.
I asked *everyone* for that same Cuisinart pot, but I doubt I’m getting it because it’s so ‘spensive. Obsessive compulsive tea lovers unite!
I really all of the Lisa Frank on this list.
Also, after I told my mother that I wanted a Nintendo 2DS and the new Pokemon game for Christmas her response was “Isn’t that what I got you when you were 8?”
I feel this so much!
After I completed my A-levels (at 18), my parents bought me a Nintendo DS XL with both Pokémon Black and White. And uh, Harvest Moon. It was great.
Everyone keeps asking me what I want and only today I realized I want a new backpack and toque. And possibly new clothes (but if I tell my relatives that, I’ll end up with a collection fitted women’s clothes, which ain’t how I roll). I’m also contemplating overalls because they are fucking comfortable
I WANT OVERALLS. I FORGOT I WANT OVERALLS. WHERE DO I BUY THESE?!
OMG I don’t even care that my nerd is coming out with that infectious disease card game! How have I never heard of this before??
there’s so much good stuff on here, my own christmas list just quadrupled. also I feel like I learned a lot about everyone from their lists.
My girlfriend used chalkboard paint to turn her table into a chalkboard. Although, when I visit I just use it to draw math problems…. But I’m sure it’s perfect for lists and things (though not vertical writing skills, sorry Cara)
There’s a guide to Twin Peaks?!! I need that!!! It will hang out next to Laura Palmer’s diary and they will be creepy fucked up book friends.
Also that is a perfect fedora. Nice choice.
Doctor Who Monopoly would fit perfectly into my collection of nerdy Monopoly games. Which really only consists of 2 different Star Wars editions and a Lord of the Rings version.
About that Chewbacca bathrobe. Amazon actually has a number of Stars Wars-inspired bathrobes if Chewy isn’t your thing. I’ve personally got my eye on the Boba Fett and Jedi ones.
The black lace “Highest Praise Dress”! Can’t decide if I want to wear it or buy it for someone. Probably both.
Chalkboard! Colored chalk! I get so excited by anything work/office/school related…Give me a new sketchbook! Sharpie kit! Commercial grade paper cutter!
This whole wish list is now my wish list.
Vanessa- I’m really glad about the Britney Spears quote you used.
omg i put the Lisa Frank stickers on my wish listtttttt.
omg galaxy clothesssssss (of which i own none)
hehehe moleskinnies~ (oh art skewlings & the many times of seeing pretentious fellow students exclusively using Moleskines– they just kind of make me giggle [though i did use one once in conjunction with another sketchbook])
Also, i had a Treehouses of the World calendar as my calendar for last year, & it was super cool. (: This past year my calendar was one where for each day there was a different piece of art from the Met in New York, depending on the theme of the month.
Also MUGS. i have a thing for mugs. it’s kind of a problem
aLSO that ModCloth bag. hrrrrnnngggghhhhhhhhhhhhh