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We are nearing the end of Autostraddle’s Masters of Sex Cure Month Experience, and our team members who are participating are learning so much about ourselves and our partners. During week three, Carolyn challenged us to:

+ Be naked alone.

+ Take a sex shop field trip.

+ Talk about three things (and do one spontaneously).

+ Research something we’re curious about.

+ Take a friend along on the sex shop field trip.

Here’s how we did!

Anonymous Otter

Monday

Got naked as per the new instructions and then found a bunch of hot new things on Crash Pad. Fingered myself. Got super wet. Had a great orgasm. Now I’m too sleepy to get up from my bed but I need to take my contacts out. Dilemma.

Tuesday

I sat down to go back to Crash Pad and instead got lost in the January Apartment Cure site that inspired the sex cure. Also full of good ideas, but I’ll spare you my thoughts. Once I got into Crash Pad I found a GREAT episode that may have totally revolutionized how I think about top/bottom dynamics and talking dirty. Like, there definitely was a top and a bottom in the scene, and they both were excellent at talking dirty in this way that seemed really joyful and that also let them negotiate the scene. It gave me a ton of new ideas for articulating what I want from my partner in bed, especially since I am typically a bottom and I often find it hard to say what I want even though I pretty much know exactly what I want. I think I read too much shitty erotica where tops and bottoms rarely have relationships that I don’t find degrading. I know people can be into that sort of power play but I’m just not. I have no interest in my partner saying degrading things to me when they fuck me.

Wednesday and Thursday

I am too damn busy to do sexythings, particularly because I am currently traveling and staying on various humans’ couches in living rooms without doors. Maybe I will try and masturbate in someone’s shower this weekend. I’m terrible at orgasms while standing. It’s just HARD, okay?

Friday

I was in a bookstore with a friend and we pondered that it would be a great time to look around a sex store, and two seconds later she looked up from her phone and said, “Oh, there’s a sex shop around the corner.” So we went! There was some sort of trivia night thing happening, which we mostly ignored, though it made it kind of crowded with a mostly heterosexual-seeming crowd. I finally got to play with a Sqweel, which was exactly as hilarious of an experience as I expected it to be. But I have to say that when I felt it on my finger, I became a lot more sold on the concept because the “tongues” were much less rigid than I’d assumed they would be. I think if you used a LOT of lube, it might be kind of awesome?

Instead of making an impulse purchase on a sexy vibrator or a Sqweel, I bought a packet of different lube samples to try out, and a packet of gloves. Next week, once I’m not sleeping on couches, I’m going to learn the ways of lube and gloves for safer – and smoother – sex purposes.

Koko

Saturday
In week one, Carolyn suggested cleaning your room. I finally did this today. My space is so shiny! I had a pretty slow day today, but I managed to masturbate a bit and come 3 times which was fuckin’ lovely.

Sunday

Woke up and masturbated quickly before work.

Went over to Kiwi’s and watched Becoming Jane (ha ha ha ha). She curled up to me on the couch, and we ended up falling asleep. It’s pretty tough to be alert and interesting all the time, since she’s in school 4 days and works the other 3, and I work full time and have multitudes of side projects on top of that. It’s hard, but I really like the nights we spend having a no-pants party while watchin’ random DVDs. I’m not used to having a romantic partner who has been this affectionate, and I find myself often being caught off guard. I jump a little whenever she goes to put her arms around me, and I’m pleasantly surprised by her talent of snuggling in ever so tightly. I guess I am saying it feels so good to have a physical reminder of interest. It’s causing me to be mindful that I show her the same.

Saturday

It’s been a busy week! Lots of work stuff and socializing, not much sex really, or at all. But lots of romantic developments. Kiwi brought me lunch at work when I forgot my sandwich running out the door. She’s so sweet, ugh! Just, makes me melt into a puddle of mush.

We talked a bit about whether we wanted to date other people, and came to the agreement of
being monogam-ish. I recently came out of a poly relationship and discovered that I am more non-monogamous than I once believed. For me, the maximum people I could probably date at once is two. Just emotion/physical/time-wise. But it was really nice to finally talk about it. Kiwi and I have both been attempting to be as casual and NOT neurotic/obsessive about this relationship, and kind of let it take shape by itself. So far it’s just meant that we sleepover every single date, including the first one. Insert U-haul joke here. I’m falling for her and I’m terrified, ’cause I don’t want my heart broken. I can feel it though. Feel her seeping into my life, slowly but surely. Maybe it won’t be a bad thing?

Eager Beaver

Monday

Did some naked housework today like that episode of Friends when Rachel was trying to get comfortable with her own body. “Check me out. I’m in my kitchen … naked. I’m picking up an orange; I’m naked! Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully!” Luckily, unlike Friends, Ross didn’t come over and ruin it. It will probably be easier in the summer when it’s not so cold, but I did take Carolyn’s advice and wear knee socks and shoes to keep sort of warm. The upside is that I got so excited about being naked in not-naked spaces that I had a great masturbation session. The downside is I didn’t get much housework done.

Tuesday

Went with a coworker to a sex toy shop, accomplishing two assignments at once. We both felt a little awkward at first. It reminded me of being a teenager talking about sex. Everything felt off-limits and made us giggle a lot. The store’s owner was great. She didn’t push us to talk about what we liked/wanted/were looking for, but once we started asking questions, she set us right at ease, and all of our awkwardness melted away. We spent our full lunch hour in the store. My coworker told me she and her boyfriend do cosplay sex things. She bought some silk restraints. I bought a new vibrator that is remote-controlled, so we’ll see how that goes.

Wednesday
Talked to H about three sex things. 1. Remote-controlled vibrator. She was eager to try it while we are out in public, me wearing it and her controlling it. But I’m not ready for that yet. I think I’d like to try it around the house first. 2. A mission to have sex in every room of the house in the next three months. I think it’ll force us to try new techniques and positions, and we both love a good challenge/checklist. 3. Writing erotica for each other. She is game for all three things. We started the second challenge by having sex in the morning in the shower and in the evening in her office. Maybe it won’t take us three months?

Thursday

Tried to get in another hour of nakedness today, but got too cold and ended up watching TV naked on the couch, but under a blanket. Does that count? H came home from work and found me like that and we had living room sex. I think we might have sex in every room of the house before this Sex Cure is over.

Friday

Sent H my first attempt at writing erotica for her. It wasn’t very good, but she said she liked it. And she sent me some in return. It was about one of my RPG characters she’s seen me play video games with, so it made me really happy. I didn’t realize she’d been listening to all the inane details I told her about that character over the years. Too tired for sex or masturbation tonight but am anticipating solid cuddles and maybe a chance to try the remote controlled vibrator this weekend.

Saturday

Tried out the remote controlled vibrator. Got no housework done whatsoever.

Sunday

Working in my office today while H worked in hers. She sent me a short tidbit of erotica, and I added onto the story and sent it back. Weirdly exciting. She’s one room away. I could go over if I wanted and start something in person, but this is a new feeling and I like it!

Took turns writing the erotica back and forth nearly all day. Anticipating an exciting night! I just realized I didn’t research a thing I’m curious about, but I feel like I always research things I’m curious about as soon as I get curious about them, so I’ll take a pass on that task and have sex instead!

The final week of Autostraddle’s Masters of Sex Cure Month Experience starts today. Join us for the last she-bang!

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