#AutoAri: These Real World Questions Are My Lesbian Godmothers

This week on The Real World: Ex-Plosion, Ari and Ashley kept their cool in the midst of the ex-plosion itself.

laughs hysterically

While the rest of the cast was alternately crying tenderly in the window (Jenny’s ex, Brian), drunkenly flinging themselves on their ex (here’s lookin’ at you, Tom), or speaking in an oddly high-pitched voice reminiscent of a murderous doll (Cory’s ex/ Lauren), they were having a grand ol’ time.

everyone else is not as happy as i am

Most of the episode circled around the drama between Jenny, Brian, Cory, and Lauren, as well as Hailey, Jamie, and Tom, as well as every other straight couple on the planet. Jenny even tried preemptively to get Brian kicked out of the house. Ari showed up like, “Oh, excuse me, is it a man you’re trying to destroy? Count me in.”

tell us when you're ready

It wasn’t MTV’s fault, though, that while everyone else was feeling emotions Ari and Ashley were just hangin’ out doin’ them. Lesbians have this break-up thing down to a science, after all, which Jenny noticed while Brian cried softly to himself.

lesbian godmothers

Honestly, eventually shit just got weird.

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Shit also got real. 

seven periods

By the end of the episode, nobody was having fun, I had forgotten what Ari Fitz looks like, and even Tom wanted to cry.

sad tom

The good news is, though, that Ari still looked fly.

park

Here are the questions you had for Ari Laughing Hysterically Fitz.

This Week’s #AutoAri Q&A

Storytime with Ari Fitz

https://twitter.com/katlynjM/status/431274818999422977

Funny story! My mom used to watch a lot of cartoons and there’s this one called Thundarr the Barbarian and she loved the Princess, Ariel. She stole the name and changed the spelling.

I do! There’s so much coming up. Biggest thing to watch out for is the film I shot while living in the house, it’s called Open Call and will drop soon!

Honestly I’m fangirling hard for James Franco. I just think the man’s mind works unlike anyone else’s in the industry. But a dream collab would be a horror project with Adam Wingard or an awkward dramedy with Issa Rae.


Love this question! 4 years from now, they’ll be cult classics and college students will reference them for film classes. Maybe not 4 but very soon. :P

Now that, my friends, is a winning question!

My gut response is great. I don’t feel edited when I watch the show, the things I say I would normally say. Part of this is because I didn’t edit myself when I lived in the house. I wasn’t playing a character, I wasn’t taking on a role. I was just ya know… Ari.

As a filmmaker and storyteller, I’m fascinated by reality shows. I learn so much about character from watching them, especially now that I’ve experienced it firsthand.

https://twitter.com/upandbeyondd/status/431279946703851520

Follow me!

I do, actually. I want two to three kids.


YESS! We have a few openings for godchildren. Come to the Bay and hang with your godmothers. We’ll prob have an event in March, so just follow us to find out when.

On Ashley / Exes

Wait… you aren’t? Here I was thinking that was normal. I think it’s really tough to let go of a first love, just my two cents.

https://twitter.com/ShortPerson_LOL/status/431266021467754496

Perhaps a little. I think I would do the same thing, tbh. I love me some Jamie, but why is she SO nervous that Cameron would show up if she doesn’t have any feelings towards him. *shrugs*

https://twitter.com/MLaRose3/status/431264442391986180
https://twitter.com/Countrylover614/status/431264764623618049
Okay so one ex actually gets possessed by the devil, but you have to wait to see that because boyyyyy….. That might actually be the finale episode.

https://twitter.com/upandbeyondd/status/431270089049243648
Temptation was strong to go out and party, so I just took her with me. Ash and I have a very open, honest, comfortable relationship. We can have fun when we go out and if I like a girl, I’ll flat out tell her…. “hey babe, that girl is cute”.

Or nah…. I kid, I kid. Of course, we went through a lot together in the house. It only made me have more respect for her, better understand her, etc.

Yeah about that…. I don’t know, I don’t care. Lol!

Haha, obviously I wasn’t a fan of her.

On Bein’ A Teevee Star and The Real World Et Al.

https://twitter.com/neila_domingo/status/431273563233210368

Duuude. Yes. I’m still tense. You could feel it at all times. I’m happy I had my work to distract me, otherwise I would’ve lost it.

https://twitter.com/Chelsea2N6/status/431250449291677696

It was awkward at first, but you just get used to it. I’m so used to just doin’ me anyway… I was like, “fine you want to watch me do my thing, no problem. Just don’t get in my way” ;)


She looked like a sweet little delicate flower, which is hilarious because Jamie seemed so tough to me.


Ha, too many!


Nah bruh…

LIKE FA REAL. I have a lot of new “cousins” since the show aired, lol.

https://twitter.com/HeisAidanD/status/431271432405143552
Pretty in-depth actually. Gangs were formed… “OG’s” vs. “Newbies”. All of the OG’s just didn’t think it was fair to have to share our time with our exes. We came to the house to do us, ya know. Unfortunately, we realized it wasn’t survivor and we couldn’t just kick people out.

Smh, I don’t know. I think he was just embarrassed by the whole Cory-Jenny thing and wanted to flex his ego, but like you said… he did it first.

The swag levels were low in the house all season long… deep sigh, even my own.


Outside of the stunning Ashley… probably Jenna.

This is funny given the answer above, but probably Jenna. Just didn’t connect with her like everyone else.

Keep watching.

It’s funny because I didn’t intentionally want to be the peace maker, but it’s awesome everyone felt so comfortable coming to me.

Why it gotta be a competition tho?

If I had to choose… I gotta hold my girl Jamie down. She and I got so close so quickly.

Absolutely not. 2 showers, 2 bathrooms, messy-ass people. 7 women with their periods all synced. 4 guys with the worst toilet aim ever. It was gross. Now add to that everyone being so emotional and you have one very sad Ari.

Not something I’ve really wanted to do, but who knows.

https://twitter.com/neila_domingo/status/431288181615755264

Neila is so freakin observant. Those were our microphones. I made sure I got a guys necklace, because the girl’s mics didn’t feel quite right.

That it’s a glamorous thing. Yeah we went out, we got bottle service but we were broke like most 20-somethings, we had to make our own money, we had to clean our house (which never happened)…

The only glamorous moments were those we made for ourselves.

Our Winner

Every week, Ari will pick her fave question out of the bunch and we will reward them with lavish prizes. This week’s winner, @iLLysWeb, will be getting “You Do You” stickers!

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Get Into It!

Each week, you can tune in to new episodes of The Real World and tweet your questions for Ari Fitz, raging queer, using the hashtag #AutoAri. ( We can only guarantee that tweets sent during the initial screenings of each episode will be included (10PM EST/PST and 9PM CST) in each week’s roundup.) Whether you’re curious about her films, what she’s eating in the fifth scene, the music that hot tub montage was set to, or how she gets her hair to look damn good, feel free to dig in and pop a question. Within 48 hours of the episode, Ari will answer every single one here on Autostraddle.

In the meantime, you can follow Ari and Autostraddle on Twitter. (And me!)

hashtag-autoari

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Carmen

Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.

1 Comment

  1. I kinda figured Jamie was being weird because she was embarrassed as hell that her ex didn’t show up. That’s just me though.

    Love this, btw.

Comments are closed.